Thank- you !!
LOL at Curvie Girlie! If I win Lotto I will buy the Moet. (We did buy it once, Before Kids
). I guess I should have said an Aussie wine made by méthode champenoise, which is what I would buy - bit of a mouthful though and doesn't sound like what it's supposed to represent!
Yeah, teaching can be stressful. I'm hoping the extra interest of having my own class and proper responsibilities, plus the financial security, will balance the fact that I will have a lot more work to do and a lot more responsibility. I taught last year, but it was relief teaching. I worked most days from May onwards, and a lot of it was older primary school children which I find more boring as a relief teacher, and more aggravating.
When I realized that applying for work in the way I did, might be THE way to end up with a secure position and make the switch to a full-time job in the first year I felt free to do so (now that my youngest child is starting high-school), I wondered if it would be a wise decision because of the stress. However, that was outweighed by my sense that this was the moment - and that it might not come back. Also, by the end of the year, I had become so tired of the odd way I was working and the stress that entailed, that I became even more sure that I would love to make the change. Yeah, this way I work more but I decide a lot about how to operate. I know my hours and which kids will be in my day. I'm not constantly walking into classes and taking them over with inadequate preparation (the day I got to take around a cart full of science experiments that I wasn't familiar with, springs to mind), and I don't inherit unsafe procedures (the day the regular teachers kept leaving the door to the road unlocked when I had 5 year olds, springs to mind). I was glad to get so much work, and I kinda liked doing the science but I didn't get to feel good about HOW I did it (I decided not to go back to the unsafe school). I think it's reasonable to expect to feel better believing I have more control over the way I teach.
Right now I feel really happy about the new job, but I bet I end up finding it hard as, at times. (Well, actually it's pretty challenging already - and that's without students!) Regardless, no matter our choices, we don't get stress free lives, and my thoughts about overcoming the anxiety problem I've had, are that it is more about
how I deal with it when it comes, than about avoiding it. I think what I get is what they call "generalized anxiety" - where the anxiety is maintained for its own sake independent of the issues. I get a sense that I can't relax because if I do the risks I'm concerned about will turn into monster problems. Putting it in words like that makes it clear that it's an irrational idea, but I wasn't articulating it like that - just feeling that I had to make sure I didn't forget something important, and that maybe I didn't deserve to deliberately remove the tension. It's not that I stress about nothing. It's more like I might stress even when there is a genuine alternative of recognizing the issues without getting wound up about them - which I see is another way of handling things.
I don't do it every year - sometimes I'm calm about things that bug other people - but I did do it last year, a lot.
What I will need to watch out for is getting carried away (from time to time), with what I'm doing and not leaving myself enough time for de-stressing activities and sleep. Actually I'm pretty much in danger of that now. I'm not anxious, but I couldn't wind down to sleep last night and I had a very early start.
Crikey, if I listed it - right now waiting to get son from work and have a "chat" to him about a heavy issue I accidentally came across while he was out - piles of my own kids' new books all around me and of work materials and props to read and sort and get ready to take to school - not sure whether I can meet with my new principal tomorrow because I had already committed to take Mum home from hospital ...
I shouldn't have started listing it!!!
I think I might go and do some physio and have a little meditative relaxation!
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S
You're stellar! 
Im glad you are back!
