They say this is a good idea???

Thank you Michelle :)
your right dunno how im going to find me, but i know i sure have to try,i am going to forget about my H (lol very evil lol)and his piss poor attitude towards everything. I am not going to give up on me!!ive work too long for
Sorry to hear your having issues too. it sucks hope you get through them ok, im here if ya need to vent about it lol(girly men bashing bitch fest specialist in the house!! :p )
 
Ow L! I didnt know I am soo sorry.. wow, she is so young! I know how all of that emotional stuff can set you a million steps back! You are a trouper though and you will be fine... just take care of what you need to and be there for your family..that is the most important. I know you know this...but trying to get in at least a walk will be good for your stress level alone right now...if you can.
I hope things are improving..im so sorry to hear how crazy things have been but I am glad to see you back! Good luck..keep your chin up L!
 
It's sad, but it really does happen every day. Sorry your husband is so unsympathetic. :mad: Some guys have issues with emotions/don't know how to deal with people when they're upset, but that's no excuse. I hope your mom is doing better.

Does your family have a history of heart disease?? I know when my grandpa had a heartattack, my grandma made him change his diet :rolleyes: and he's doing really well now. He goes out for bike rides everyday. some people, though, can be fit as a fiddle er... and still have a heart attack.

Don't worry. You'll find your way. Try taking some time (if that's possible!!) for yourself. Just to think and relax, or maybe read a book. Good luck. Hope things get better. :)
 
smiley said:
Thank you Michelle :)
your right dunno how im going to find me, but i know i sure have to try,i am going to forget about my H (lol very evil lol)and his piss poor attitude towards everything. I am not going to give up on me!!ive work too long for
Sorry to hear your having issues too. it sucks hope you get through them ok, im here if ya need to vent about it lol(girly men bashing bitch fest specialist in the house!! :p )
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Bashing bitch fest???? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
I'm 36, married 7 years. I've been unhappy most of that time. He has anger problems. I've been in therapy after going bananas with post-partum depression crap. I'm a new woman. Had I been at this level of "mental health" 7 yrs ago, I would've never married HIM. He has a lesion in his temporal lobe. Has epilepsy due to it. Anger issues not helped by this. Seizures recently under better control. All this still no excuse for the verbal, physical, emotional abuse crap he puts me through. I told him I'm leaving him if he doesn't quit the crap. I felt liberated being so brave. He went into denial but finally agreed. He started counseling this week. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A NEW BODY ALONG WITH MY NEW FULL-OF-COJONES SELF but I still use food & wine as a crutch. Whew! THIS FEELS GOOD! :D

Ok, your turn! ;)
 
vanitylbs said:
Bashing bitch fest???? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

THIS FEELS GOOD! :D

Ok, your turn! ;)
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Lmao ok, well ive been with him a little over 7 yrs(my oldest is 61/2 do the math no rocket science required) married for almost 5, unhappy for the last 3 yrs at least...i dunno anymore its been a long time,would i have stayed with him this long had i not had children...no, no way in hell! at first we tried harder both of us did, now its like we let it go down hill so far theres like no going back....abusive not physcally, his words hurt alot of the time though, dunno if it would be qualified as outright emetional abuse, but its like when he feels stress its taken out on me in his "its just a joke" manner. i dont do anything right according to him, apparently im just some dumb woman who cant even figure out how to plan my day so i can get all the laundry done(his way of course left and right socks included??!!!)
i feel like i contribute nothing to this family,i need to find me! i have told him time and time again i need to feel valued, i need to feel like i matter not just something that can be replaced if he felt like it.....so yeah thats where im at lol. counselling is not an option right now he works too many hrs, i dont even know if it would be worth it any how, he doesnt feel like any of this is his fault, do i still love him?part of me does......but a big part of me doesnt anymore. right now im still with him only bc of the kids...

wow i do feel a little better tnx
 
Thanks K, Em

yeah when i feel really stressed i put on the runners and go for a really hard jog, pound that pavement like im trying to bust it up in pcs lol i feel better after, exercise i still feel i have some sort of control over, food well im trying so freaking hard not to spin out of control...im trying to get back on track but finding it very hard.....
Ex theres a history of it for sure, my mom has been told there might be some blockage now too. man im so (insert a bunch of feelings here bc im feeling em all)i just wish she had taken better care of her self, and yes more the reason i should get my ass back on track, but its like this plus the H situation and my emotions are making it hard to keep up ya know...anyways holding on for dear life right now, itll either spin way outta control or ill get back on track just no exactly sure how this ones gonna end up.


so my attemp at my diary(i will try and be as honest about this as i can so you guys can kick my butt)

food so far
coffee /skim milk(just a splash)
kashi cereal+flax seeds+peach+skim milk
few slices of apple(like 1/4 of an apple)
Oy this is where it goes off!
bread whole grain home made 4 slices(theyre small so like 2 slices of real bread)
a little cheese (not lots like a small slice)and 2 cracker
chips(dunno a bunch)
salade and cottage cheese 1c
peache
supper shake
and salad

planned exercise for today...leg day so squats and all that good stuff(ah man why is leg day on mondays!!!grr lol) done dropeed soem kids kept going at it argh!!
swimming?cardio?nothing yet hoping h gets home at a decent time so i can get a Jog in
 
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All right, first of all, your bad days still look like most of my better days and no butt kicking is allowed. :D

Also, you're bound to eat a little more when you're stressed. It's just your bodies way of coping with the stress because it's convinced the reason you're so upset is because you're going to need to run from lions or something. Don't worry about a few bad days.

Hopefully this will convince your mom to be healthier. :( It's never too late to change bad habits. I tell my own mom that a lot. Just hang in there. Hope you can get that jog in there. :)
 
Thanks EM, running from lions hahahahaha feel like it today too lol but it kinda went a little down hill after that, supper was spaghetti sauce(mostly out of the pot lol i know bad but i was hungry!!!)_ and a bunch of home made italian bread with butter...then a few cookies.....k why?????bc i waited tooooo long to eat...then i ate lots really fast then i was stuffed for hrs!
and no cardio bc someone dropped in...

food today...actually gonna try harder today
kashi+peach+flax+skim

exercise chest

cardio(gotta do something i want to go for a jog!!!)
 
I'm sorry you are going though alot lately. And it's not like petty little crap. You're right. You do need time for you.
I think the first 3 years of my relationship with my guy was the worst. Constant fighting. I dunno how its changed, but somehow it's better. I think I just got tired. Tired of fighting back. SO I finally shut up for a while, and he would find himself fighting with HIMSELF. It's almost a reverse pshychiatry thing.
It takes a ton of time. Alot of people stay together for the sake of the kids. Thats what my parents did. And you will always Love him, but you will find that you may not be IN LOVE with him.
I wish I had better answers for you. I wish I could tell you how to make it all better.
With all that you have been through, you are still one strong ass woman!
As much as you think you are messing up, I think you are doing pretty damn good!
Like ExM said, your bad days looks better than my good days! LOL
I hope your mom is ok. She is young. My mom is 49 and we are very close too.
Does your H still have his mom? Is he close with her, or any family? He should be way more understanding. He probly feels for you but he does not want to show it or he might show a soft side which his tough guy side will not allow. Seems like he bottles it all up. Maybe he needs a good cry. Sounds weird but I've seen it.

to sum this up STAY STRONG ~ you're one of the strongest people I know!
 
Christina said:
It takes a ton of time. Alot of people stay together for the sake of the kids. Thats what my parents did. And you will always Love him, but you will find that you may not be IN LOVE with him.

~yup thats pretty much sums up my feelings right now

I wish I had better answers for you. I wish I could tell you how to make it all better.
With all that you have been through, you are still one strong ass woman!
As much as you think you are messing up, I think you are doing pretty damn good!
Like ExM said, your bad days looks better than my good days! LOL

~Thank you so much! i dont feel like i am, but your words mean alot to me.

I hope your mom is ok. She is young. My mom is 49 and we are very close too.
Does your H still have his mom? Is he close with her, or any family? He should be way more understanding. He probly feels for you but he does not want to show it or he might show a soft side which his tough guy side will not allow. Seems like he bottles it all up. Maybe he needs a good cry. Sounds weird but I've seen it.
~yep his mom is still around, hes closest with her than the rest of the family,he doesnt bottle up much actually, thats more the way i am....he actually doesnt seem to think its that big of a deal....Thanks for asking test are looking good, seems like shell be ok :)

to sum this up STAY STRONG ~ you're one of the strongest people I know!
~thank you so much! i will think of your words when i have a week moment :) Christina thinks im strong so i can do this!
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Thanks you guys im quite glad to have you around :)
 
148lbs back up 2 lbsArgh!! ok so i start off good then it all goes down the drain...ok trying hard today i can actually do this i know i can!!
drink more water!!stop to think before you eat!!
food for today~this is the plan!
cereal+flax+peach+skim
shake+banana
cottage cheese and salad

exercise get some cardio in if it kills me!!!weights none i have some running around to do :(
 
Good planning, good planning, now stick with it girl!
What in the world is Flax? it just does not sound right! LOL
Hope youre feeling better. Hope all is well!
<HUGS>
 
Flax is great..I take mine in pill form though... Im glad to see you getting back on track...dont be so hard on yourself girl...You have done amazing!
 
Lol flax seeds, theyre very yummy and add fiber and good fats to your diet lol thank you Christina and K i am slowly getting there.....i want that 2 lbs off by next monday!!!grrr lol
rest of food for this am/afternoon
2 granola bars
a yogurt
1.5c of mixed fruits(like berries and stuff)+whipped topping light
shake at some point although now im stuffed lol
tonight
chicken burger (no bun)and salad
more fruit and topping that stuff is delish!
no cardio yet dunno what time the h will be home either....tape maybe???
 
hey there sweetie... food choices look GREAT! are you drinking your water? and DON"T forget to exercise!!! c'mon... we can beat this boot camp thing!
 
Yeah Christina they have about 57 cals per tbs, 4g of fat(good for you kind) and 3g of fibre really great stuff, some ppl (like K :) )like to take the oil in pill form(still has cals and fat g's though)and its really good for you :) i like the taste of em, nutty almost like sunflower seeds(plus the fibre whooahh!lol)
Amomono thanks :) i havent been drinking enough water thats for sure, and exercise well ive been slacking in the cardio department....no more excuses i need to get back on the ball here!!

food for yesterday was good until i made french fries for supper for the rest of em ate some then my H brought home some m&ms and i had some, i was stuffed last night :eek: but i did go for a rollerblade rip around the town. i feel great about that, really pushed it on the hills and got my heart pumping

food(this is the plan anyhow)
kashi+flax+peach+skim
shake+apple
tuna+salade
shake+nectarine
?
water 1L so far gotta get it up to at least 3L
exercise wts shoulders...cardio roller blade i hope or jog gotta make it happen!!


***on the home front my H and i are actually talking somewhat about stuff, without me going into the whole crying cant say anything type of deal,im such a woman lol, nothing is being decided though(like leaving each other or anything) but i think talking about the possibilities is a start right?i dunno im still mixed up, but i feel that at least looking at options is a good place to start***
(side note, my moms heart attack was cause by a virus!?! wtf??thats what the test say anyways,i hope this doesnt make her back track and start eating like crap again and smoking!!i hope it gave her enough of a scare to keep her straight)
 
Wow..... who would have know a virus could give you a heart attack. I hope your mom still looks out for her health. We only get one body, we really should take care of it.... guess I;ll try to go practice what I preach!
 
great job with the rollerblading =) you did a great job of getting out there and making it happen! and good luck with your conversations with your H... sometimes those are hard to do, but they are necessary, and I hope the best for both of you is able to happen.
 
Aww Smiley, I hope your mom is doing better. Three cheers for flax! I have to buy some, my doctor recommended that I start using it since my surgery. It looks like you're doing wonderfully.
 
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