The, if not shrinking, staying the same size Midwife...

B

bluepig1

New member
The, if not shrinking.....

Well..
How's this for a turn of events.

When I was last here I was gearing up to start a new job with the Halifax bank and move in with my boyfriend.
My job lasted 2.5 hours....
But thats a good thing!!

Because guess what? After three heartbreaking rejections for XX in March... I got a phonecall asking if I wanted a place at my top choice uni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course I said yes :party:

So we are insanely skint. -£700 to our names :nopity:

But.. my bursary should be in on Friday and if not this Friday it'll be in by the next.. Just in time for our rent *phew*



However. There is a downside.
Those of you who followed my other blog
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/weight-loss-diary/40219-i-will-skinny-again.html
Will remember the hassles I was having to get my ct scan sorted!!!



Onto lighter news.. (Pah who am I kidding) I haven't gained!!!!! I've maintained despite a million stresses.
Well, actually I'm not sure. My flat is a basement flat and our floor is wonky. So I got between 199 and 204 pounds depending on where you put the scales!

So now, this blog is a place to rant, scream, cry and maintain my weight not attempt to lose while I'm going through a lot of stressful shit!! (Can I say that here?? :p)


So.. Uni...
Is good :D
Lots of interesting lectures (well, one a week is interesting the others are poo so far) and I go out on placement in a few weeks into the community and I'm all excited :D:D:D

So.. Finances...
Are crap. Not even enough money for Novs rent. My bursary will be in just in time to pay but then if my loan isnt through before Nov 1st we're screwed!!

So.. My new house...
Is wonderful! I love living with my boyfriend and having our own space is brilliant.. Just a slight problem with spiders... And I'm soooo terrified of spiders!! We have a towel like a draft excluder across our back door and they've stopped coming in as often now. But its still gross and creepy and just eurgh lol

So.. My birthday...
Is way too soon! I'm 20 on Halloween, and I don't want to not be a teenager anymore lol. My 18-19 was wasted recovering from my first op for the cancer and 19-20 was crap because I was in and out of jobs and my friends had all gone to uni so I had no one and no money to party with :(

And...
My W key is broken and keeps not typing! Grrrr


Anyway..
Long post, sorry!! Love you all :D
I'm in a good mood tonight if you couldn't tell :p

Night all
xxx
 
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WOW WOW WOW!!!
I'm going to be late for work, but I don't care - I had to sit down and reply! Firstly, WELCOME BACK! It's so nice to see you! We were just saying how much we worry about people that disappear - particularly I was thinking of you having started the new job, moved into the new place and the medical stuff that was going on shortly before you vamoosed!

The midwifery course is AMAZING NEWS!!! Congratulations. Its fantastic to hear that you are so enthusiastic about doing it and to be offered a place at your top choice too is great! Where will you be going? Can you still live at home and commute there? Its a fantastic course (my cousin did midwifery) and very rewarding...just think of all the grateful mothers that will be naming their babies RedPiggy after you!!

It must be lovely being in your own place with your boyfriend - even if you do have no cash, you'll find a way to make it work - stuff like this...(the uni course, change of career direction etc...) is too important - if you really want to do it, you'll find a way! PLus, a lot of the stress that you were having at home around food, groceries and with your mum, should melt away now that you are able to be more dependent. Really pleased for you.

As for the not such good news...:(
Big hugs to you. So much has changed in the world of cancer treatment in the last few years so hopefully with all the advances and new info, they'll be able to zap this into submission. Lots of positive thoughts and prayers coming your way from us all I'm sure.

I have been up your neck of the woods strangely enough - I was in Leeds all day on Monday but not nearer yet....that meeting is planned in the near future...hehehe Until then. the telephone is proving a most useful invention...as you'll see when you read through my posts whilst you've been gone.

Anyhows, off to work for me. Hope your good mood lasts all week!!!!
J
 
Hi, It was me talking to Jay about worrying about people dissapearing and like her you were the first person that I was thinking about. I'm glad that you're back but sorry about the bad news about the tumour. You are so positive and that is hugely important in making a quick recovery.
The fact that you've not put on weight with so much going on in your life is amazing. I really admire you. Congrats on getting onto the uni course, what a great choice of career and on moving into your own home. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the grant comes through on time.
I really like spiders but I'm scared to death of big bluebottle flies. Strange how we all get our little phobias of different things.
Nice to see you back here and so upbeat despite some of the things going on in your life.xx
 
Welcome back!

Congrats on your course - I'm so pleased for you! What a huge bonus to get your course and new home all sorted finally :D

I hope the other parts of your life slot into place soon too - I'm sure they will. You seem to have a healthy attitude towards your condition and, although it will be difficult at times, I'm sure you'll get through it and come through the other side stronger and happier.

And don't forget we're all hear for support when things get tough :)

xx
 
Hey sweetheart! I missed you *hugs* So glad you're back--I fell off the wagon!!! NEED SUPPORT!!!! :p Congrats on the job and the new living arrangements! I'm ridiculously sorry to hear the bad news about the carcinoid but I know you're a tough cookie so you'll be fine.


English guys--We totally need a WLF meet up for the British lot! :p
 
My good mood is even better today lol
I've just had a hair cut by the most amazing hairdresser called Antonio. So I feel all good about my self :)
 
Sunflower said:
English guys--We totally need a WLF meet up for the British lot! :p
Click to expand...

Great idea! Although Redpiggy and I aren't very far apart - just the pennines in the way so maybe you'll have to come up from the south!

As for the haircut - there is nothing else on earth like having a great haircut! It makes you feel a million dollars!
 
The haircut obviously suits too.
Went out last night with the girls from uni and one of them got rather drunk and said to me.. You look so much more attractive with shorter hair!
Lol, bless. She meant it in the nicest way possible.

Was really really bad last night and had a takeaway, but been quite good today.
Had beans, eggs and cheese for tea (at half ten oops) and.. Actually thats not so good. Thats pretty much all I've eaten.. Ohh and a tin of hotdogs lol

Didn't realise how late it had got!!
Eek

Been playing guitar hero all day. Just bought the new one today because guess what??

My bursary went in :D So I'm a little bit rich lol, compared to normal anyway!

Had a couple of biscuits too, but no more than i normally have.

Overall, it's actually been a bad day, but what meals I have eaten have been quite good.

I can't believe its so late.. Where has my day gone?!
 
LOL. Sounds like you are in training for being a student!!

Although from what I know of the midwifery course, its not lay-ins and mulching around!! You scrub up and get involved!

Its weird when someone gives you a compliment like that - you know that they mean well and that they think you look good but you cant help thinking "jeepers, what must I have looked like before then" - however...this is just fat-paranoia I have come to realise!! Take the compliment and run off and be happy with it!

I thought living in your own place was meant to herald a new age of EATING HEALTHILY young lady>!??!?! Go and buy lots of vegetables - they are mega cheap in markets or places like Aldis. Find some stuff you really like to cook with them! Hot dogs....what are you like?!! heh.
 
Haha week days are fine usually. But it all goes to pot on weekends.

I have reading days thursday and friday, so by saturday my sleeping and eating pattern is screwed.

Got in some fruit juice and some more eggs, bacon, wholemeal bread and low cal tomato pasta sauce.
ALso got in some more fresh meat, extra lean mince!

Just had a chicken curry. But.. I use skinless chicken, low cal sauce and surprisingly good naans.
First time I've eaten today, although I've not been up too long lol.

Will probably have something about 11 ish before bed. Then up at 7 tomorrow :p Will have either porridge or sultana bran. Then a pre packaged sandwich or jacket potato for lunch probably. Might make my chicken and rice for tea.
I've got into the habit of makin gtoo much of a rice based dish then taking the leftovers for lunch the next day.

Like I made some brown rice with peas and sweetcorn. Not particularly interesting, but tasty and had veg in!

I have such an unvaried diet at the moment its shocking! But we're living out of cupboards pretty much because we don't want to run ou tof money before the rent goes out!
 
hehehe. I hope you are putting onions and peppers and mushrooms into these curries and chicken rice dishes!! Or brocolli or baby sweetcorn...need I continue to list TEH VEGETABLES!!!! Although I have to admit, when I was a student, I lived on pasta, pasta sauce, tuna and sweetcorn...all mixed up, most nights! Living to regret it though!

I have a theory that we should all go vegetarian for a fortnight...what a challenge that would be to try and avoid meat all together (don't get me wrong, I love meat, but I think it would really make me think outside the box about what I eat and what's the basis for my meal and where my calories lie).

How's the course going?
 
Bleurgh baby sweetcorn!!
Thats one veg I cannot stand lol

I would go veggie for one week, expect I do a lot of the cooking (don't like being cooked for) which would mean Martin going veggie... And he can't eat vegetables.
He has a thing about texture. Can only bear certain vegetables and no fruits, not particularly healthy, but I get in as many stuff as I can in his diet. Fruit juice, fruit and fibre, linseeds, peas, sweetcorn and sprouts lol.
Might get in some more spinach and cherry tomatoes, do a little bit of atkins again maybe.

Been really bad today.
:(
Had less than 4 hours sleep so been sooooo hungry all day..
Had a glass of milk, ham and cheese sandwich, a slice of pizza, biscuits, more pizza, cookie dough ice cream, lilt, dr pepper and pomegranate juice.

I think the only two saving graces there are the glass of milk and the pomegranate juice.
I've been on and off asleep all day, and now I'm still hungry and still tired.
TOday was meant to be a good day but on so little sleep that just didn't happen :'(

I'm going back to sleep now. Had 4 hours earlier and have time for another 6 ish so hopefully, I can get up in the morning, have a good breakfast, have a jacket potato in the cafe for lunch and then probably left over pizza for tea (SLAP ME NOW).

I'm not coping well being at uni and eating good. I can either do one or the other. I can't cope with no sleep, but Martin is really stressed and keeps suffering panic attacks during the night so we're both up. And I don't intend to sleep in another room, or make him leave the room.

Gah. too much going on. I've got a constant headache Which is probably brought onby the fat and sugar in my diet..
pah
i fail
I'll start again soon.
Because I can see my weight very slowly creeping up.
Only 1/2lbs but thats 1 or 2 lbs way too much.
I need to be able to fit my uniform.

It's still money :(
 
Big hugs from me RedPiggy. You are changing so much in your life at the moment - new uni course, financially independent, new place to live - sounds like you are putting yourself under a lot of pressure. Concentrate on getting the big stuff sorted and in terms of food, how about just trying not to make the wrong choices...i.e. dont' focus on weight loss for the next few weeks until you settle into the rest of what's going on, but don't use food as a crutch either!! i.e. not reaching for the fizzy drinks/sugar/chocolate/ice cream/pizza? Its like with us guys, we are either very very good, or very very bad...there must be a middle...somewhere...
 
Well today I ate biscuits AND ice cream....
HOWEVER, I ate a teeny tiny bit of ice cream (absolutely miniscule) and hardly any biscuits, and also we've now run out of biscuits so I can't eat any more :p
And guess what my tea had in it?
VEGETABLES

Lol. Chicken with garlic, sea salt, black pepper and chilli, with red pepper and tomato spicy seasoning, with brown rice, onions and peppers.
Yum.. .If a little spicy :p
 
And... Today I replaced my ice cream with frozen yoghurt!
Insanely better (calorie wise) than the amazing scrummy wonderfully gorgeous stuff I was eating before... Can you tell I miss it already? :p
Nah.. Actually I've gone from Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough, to their Cherry Garcia but the frozen yoghurt not ice cream one.
It's still pretty bad, but it tastes good, has cherries and chocolate in :O and is a million times healthier!!

I also didn't buy any more biscuits :)
 
Well my scales hate me..
Actually.. I hate me.. I baked :(
And ate lots :(

Although to be fair that was like all I ate yesterday.

I ate 3 muffins(not buns, the weird bread things), a small amount of grated cheese, two slices of bacon, one egg and cookie mixture/cookies.

All day.

I suck lol

It was my boyfriends birthday so we spent all day cuddling and playing guitar hero not eating lol


ANYWAY
Today I have eaten... More cookies *FAIL*
It's 4 in the afternoon and thats all I've had...

Sooo gunna go get a subway :p
Six inch and a salad me thinks.. YUm YUm :D
 
My cookies are even worse than that!! :O

The subway was AMAZING. Actually the best I've ever had.
I had a 6 inch not footlong, cold (not that that makes a difference :p) club.
Which for all you non fans of subway is ham turkey and beef.
I had grated cheese, but not extra, and an absolute ton of salad.

It was the neatest sub ever, and he piled the veg sooooo high :)

And I had ranch dressing, which is healthier than the light mayo :p (insider secret there)


Lol, I think I loved it a little too much :p
 
Just checked my stats.. I've ruined it now but..
271 posts
1.27 posts per day.

Hmmm.. I have a thing about numbers :p


Anyway.
So I had my birthday over the weekend so I ate absoluteley crap :) And I loved it and only put on 2 lbs lol
To be fair I ate a million and one thorntons chocolates plus cadbury stuff on top of it and 3 suways in one day lol and a bottle of wine.

I had fun though, even if I am old now :(

Since then my eating has been so much better though. I'm waiting on my jacket potato to cook, I'm having chopped tomatoes, onion and mushrooms in a tomato sauce with lean mince. Yum :) Veggies, starchy stuff and meat.. It's good :)
 
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