The amazing shrinking woman (I hope!)

Ok, new day of a new week! And I am back on track! Calories were around 1200 for the day. I did my upper body weight training and ran a little over 3 miles (thought I was gonna die in the last half mile - but I made it!)

Taking a break from exercise for 3 weeks probably wasn't the best idea in the world.... But it wasn't as bad as when I first started last year and I know it won't take long for me to get back to where I was.

I didn't get time to catch up on any journals this weekend - so I'm trying to read thru a few tonight (instead of sleeping). But that's all I'm going to be able to get thru because I'm going to be shot at work tomorrow as it is. I'll get to all the rest of you lovely people eventually - just might take me a few days!

Be healthy my friends!
 
Stepped on the scale this morning (was really dreading if after the last week of bad eating) but the damages weren't actually as bad as I was afraid they were going to be. I'm at 137.2 right now.

I'm guessing that at least a couple of pounds of that is from having the plumbing being backed up - which always happens to me when I eat badly, especially if I don't drink enough water. A couple of days of clean eating and lots of water and I'll probably be back down to around 135. That's not my all time low, and it's not really my goal, but my body seems to like hanging out at the 135 mark.

I wish I knew what to do to convince it that it would be way cooler to hang out at around the 125 mark! :coolgleamA:

I lost 50 lbs fairly easily - but I just can't seem to shake this last 10! I'm having trouble maintaining my motivation. I'm good during the week - exercising, eating healthy and drinking lots of water. But then it seems like the weekend comes and I completely undo everything I've done all week! Why do I keep sabotoging myself like that??!?!?!?
 
This is why they have a show called "The Last 10 Pounds" I have more to loose then ten but I love this show! (it gets old if you watch too many tho haha) Its with Tommy Europe the coolest trainer ever haha.

Don't give up tiggy but don't feel thwarted either, you look amazing and you've done fantabulous for yourself :)
 
Hey Tig! I SO agree with you on this. The first 80lbs went ok, but the last 10 are KILLING me! It's seems SO unfair!

It's good to see that you're hanging in there!
 
Tigpuppy said:
Stepped on the scale this morning (was really dreading if after the last week of bad eating) but the damages weren't actually as bad as I was afraid they were going to be. I'm at 137.2 right now.

I'm guessing that at least a couple of pounds of that is from having the plumbing being backed up - which always happens to me when I eat badly, especially if I don't drink enough water. A couple of days of clean eating and lots of water and I'll probably be back down to around 135. That's not my all time low, and it's not really my goal, but my body seems to like hanging out at the 135 mark.

I wish I knew what to do to convince it that it would be way cooler to hang out at around the 125 mark! :coolgleamA:

I lost 50 lbs fairly easily - but I just can't seem to shake this last 10! I'm having trouble maintaining my motivation. I'm good during the week - exercising, eating healthy and drinking lots of water. But then it seems like the weekend comes and I completely undo everything I've done all week! Why do I keep sabotoging myself like that??!?!?!?
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Hi Tig,

The last 10 pounds almost took me longer than the previous 70. It literally took me 9 weeks to lose the last 10 pounds but it was worth it. I had a hard time staying motivated too but I powered my way through it. I had that goal and I wasn't going to let anything stop me. You can hit your goal too- just stay with it. I used to say to myself- don't worry about it- you are 5 pounds away just go into maintenance- but then I said if I do that now- how am I going to maintain if I can let 5 pounds stop me from getting to my goal. I knew that if I can be so cavalier about 5 pounds how am I going to feel if I gain 10 pounds- am I going to say well it is just 10 pounds. That is how I got to 320 pounds. It was time to stop being so nonchalant about the remaining 10 pounds. I HAD to lose it no matter how long it took. I am not saying it will be the same for you but that is how I looked at it. You can hit your goal. Take a deep breath and get your motivation back. You have come so far and you are so close.
 
Thanks so much for your support Rox and Cowboy!

Sorry I've been MIA again... I feel like I've sort of fallen off the wagon a bit. I'm struggling right now to find my old iron will power that I had last year. Eating hasn't been the greatest, and I'm finding it really hard to find time to fit in exercise. I ran 1 time last week, and I ending up running last night - but that was only because we were trying to move cattle and a couple of naughty calves took off in the wrong direction and I was running after them trying to get them going back the right direction. I have to admit though that it FELT SO GOOD!!! I can't believe the difference in how it feels when I run now compared to how it felt a year ago when I took off running for the first time (short as it was!) - my stride is different or something. It feels like my body knows what it's doing when I run now instead of feeling like a complete dork with arms and legs (and BOOBS) flying in all different directions. I seem to be more coordinated or something now - just FEELS different, right, natural...

A couple of weeks ago hubby and I were watching a movie (can't remember what) and in it some lady ran past in the background of the main characters while they were talking. Hubby said that the woman is NOT a runner normally in real life. I asked how do you know??? He said she's just not running right - it doesn't look like it's supposed to. She looks like you used to look when you ran. You don't look like that any more. I think I know what he meant now.

While it's still fairly chilly here, spring has definately arrived. We've had a lot of rain lately (over 3 inches just last weekend) and I swear you can stand outside and watch the grass grow! And with living on a farm there is a LOT of ground to cover just to keep the yard mowed. I'm itching to get into my garden, but every time it dries out enough get in and work it, we get more rain! At this rate it might be July before I get anything planted, and by then it'll be WAY too late!

School ended this week - so my kids are home now. I used to always run right after I got home from work, but now when I get home they all seem to want me to come outside and play with them. We've all gotten out of the habit of mom getting her uninterrupted 'me time' after work I think. That is one habit that NEEDS to be reinstated!

I got an e-mail from my best friend from college early this week. She's coming back to visit in the first part of July. She hasn't seen me since last July, which was about 20 lbs ago. She was shocked to see how much I had shrunk at that time - so I can just about imagine what she'll say this year! It was SUCH a huge ego boost when I walked in and her jaw just dropped. She said something about me being half the size that I was the last time she saw me. All week I've been thinking it would be so awesome to be down to 125 by the time she comes, but I find I keep saying I'll start back at losing tomorrow. Then the next day I say the same thing, and the next and the next. Why the heck can't I seem to get myself back in the groove??? I really need to change this attitude of eh, losing 50 lbs is good enough. I don't really need to bother finishing this thing, do I?

Maybe I need to enlist the help of my daughter again or something? Last year she asked me every day how much I'd lost and would give me dirty looks if she caught me eating something that I shouldn't. Lots of times she worked out with me. Every month she looked forward to getting to take my progress pictures for me, and we'd both eagerly put them onto the computer so we could compare them side by side to see how much I'd improved. When I stopped exercising regularly a couple of months ago (YIKES! That long already???) she nagged me for a while asking if we could lift weights together and I kept putting her off and putting her off - giving lots of excuses not to. Now she doesn't even bother asking me any more.

So.... I have exactly 6 weeks until I see my best friend again. Losing the last 10 lbs should be completely doable in that amount of time! Time to GET IT DONE!!!!
 
Hey Girl!
This visit from a pal might just be the extra motivation that you need to do it! Sometimes we just need a little extra kick to push us into the zone again....
And six weeks is a good period- not too long or too short. It's just enough time to lose that last 10, I should think!

I'm exactly where you are, as far as still struggling with the last bit of weight. And I have to admit that I've mainly just been relieved to be so close to goal and not re-gaining!
But Cowboy is right- it's best not to get slack, because that's how weight creeps back on again!

BTW- I have to say that I was giggling at the image of you chasing around baby cows!
 
Hey Tigs - get back on the wagon and get it done. You will feel so much better. You have done an amazing job shrinking yourself to this point - and have been such an inspiration. Do it for yourself though.
 
Tigpuppy said:
Why the heck can't I seem to get myself back in the groove???
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I ask myself that question all the time! At least you have been able to maintain - wish I could say the same for me. I should never have left - I really need the accountability.
Glad to see you are getting back to it. Reading that is going to help me get back there too!
 
Well, for someone who is supposed to be concentrating on losing the last 10 lbs before 6 weeks is up, I've not done a very good job the last several days. :banghead:

I spent the long 3 day weekend snacking constantly. It's that time of month for me, but that's probably just an excuse I used to justify to myself why I was eating everything in sight. I bought snacks for the kids for the memorial day weekend (a family size bag of corn puffs (like cheese puffs only like buttery popcorn), twinkies, chocolate cupcakes, doritos, etc) but I ended up eating more of the stuff than the kids did. In fact - I hid the corn puffs and over the course of the weekend managed to eat the entire bag by myself.

I had made no bake cookies for the kids for snacks since they are home for summer vacation now - but I seemed to eat way more than they did. I swear every time I walked thru the kitchen I had to grab one. The worst was in the evenings after the kids were in bed and hubby left to go play pool or throw darts. I'd have a few glasses of wine while watching TV, and the munchies would set in. Sunday night hubby didn't go anywhere and I felt crabby and resentful that he was there and I didn't want him to see me eating all the junk I was craving.

I would track my calories thru the day (or at least keep a running total in my head) of the meals I ate - which came to 1000 to 1200 calories - but I didn't keep track of any of the snacks or wine. And if I'm honest with myself when I looked back I don't think I could even remember it all - it's just one big blur - a never ending stream of cookies, chips, wine, more cookies, more wine....

I was out of control and just couldn't seem to stop myself. :banghead:

So Tuesday morning I forced myself to step on the scale (after having avoided it all weekend) to see what the damages were. 139.8

Ouch.

So starting yesterday I was really good with my eating. By tonight the scale already says 136.4 - so does that mean even with my 3 day binge I didn't really gain all that much weight? I'm sure the salty stuff made me retain what liquids I did consume - but I didn't have any water until yesterday and today. And I already know that when I eat badly, things start to get backed up a bit. My body NEEDS those fresh fruits and veggies.

Does this make it ok to pig out like I did? No. The results according to the scale aren't too terrible I guess - but how I felt about myself all weekend was the worst. Especially that out of control feeling, the feeling of being helpless to stop myself. What the hell is up with that??!?!?! I am the woman with the iron willpower! I keep reaming myself for being so weak and giving in to my old bad habits.

This last weekend was definately the worst, but I'm noticing that I've been sort of slipping into that pattern lately of sneaking snacks on Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday nights. By Monday mornings my weight will have jumped by several pounds. Then I panic and am really strict with my eating Monday thru Thursday and by the next weekend I've undone the damages from the previous weekend.

This back and forth crap from one extreme to the other is driving me crazy! But I can't seem to get myself out of this stupid rut!

I keep asking myself how the hell did I ever manage to lose 50 lbs??!?!?!
 
Hi Tig,

I know the feeling. It is so tough to be in maintenance. I have posted that several times in my diary. Scares the crap out of me. The will power slips and before you know it- back to bad habits. I have spent 30 years in this cycle and I am stopping it now. If I have to watch what I eat for the rest of my life I am willing to do that. Maintenance is worse than dieting by a long shot. There is no pay off at all except that the scale doesn't go up. The thing to do is to have some healthy snacks that you love around. Have a salty snack - like pretzels for instance and a sweet snack- maybe a protein bar or something like that. When you get a craving for something salty have a handful of pretzels etc.

I know you know this already but keep looking at your before and after pictures- Remember where you were and where you are. Do you want to go back to where you were- NO of course you don't. The eating you are doing now may not be hurting you now but in the long run it will and you know that.

I was just thinking that it isn't the physical part of the bingeing that used to make me feel like I was failing ( I didn't gain weight at first either) it was the mental aspect of all this. It was slipping so easily back into old habits and justifying it by saying " Look, I didn't gain any weight", Eventually I went on my merry way eating whatever I wanted and I stopped stepping on the scale and just bought bigger clothes or took my bigger clothes out of the basement.

You can do this!! You have come so far to throw it all away for Doritos-LOL. Stay strong- don't give into temptation. Instead of snacking at night- go for a run on your treadmill- it will take the craving away- at least it does for me. Give it a try and let me know how things are going?
 
Thank you so much for the encouragement Cowboy!

Well, I've gone from 139.8 on Monday down to 135.0 this morning - but with heading into another weekend I'm getting nervous.... Fridays are always where I go wrong!

I took your advice and looked thru my progress pictures. I can't remember the last time I looked at them! It made me think that I still might have some body image issues to work on. When I stand in front of the mirror in my bra and panties now, I still see enourmous thighs, a big ass, that flabby belly, and huge saggy boobs. I don't think I look all that much different than I did a a little over a year ago. It's not until I put the actual photos side by side that I realize that WOW! There really IS a difference in those pictures. But I have a hard time associating those pictures with me. Maybe I should have left my head on in them? I don't know. I just know I have to keep telling myself that it's really me in those pictures.

So... The plan for this weekend - obviously no binging! :Angel_anim: I'm going to be really good! The weather is supposed to be nice, and there aren't many bugs out yet so I think I may try and get an ouside run in. Or 2! I think I need a project or 2 to keep myself busy so I'm not thinking about snacking too. So I talked my sister into pairing up with me and having a garage sale in her nice newly remodeled garage the weekend of June 17th. I'm going to clean out my attic and get rid of all the baby gear, baby toys, and clothes that don't fit my girls any more. And I will also get rid of the too big clothes of mine that I have packed away. No more keeping them 'just in case'. There can NEVER be another time when I need those fat clothes just in case!!!

I also have been thinking about doing some work around the house. We moved a house onto our farm that was built in the 1920s, gutted most of it and remodeled it ourselves. We hired someone to put all new plumbing in, and changed out the old leaky radiators for a new, high efficiency forced air furnace/ air conditioner. Hubby did the wiring, and helped with some of the heavy jobs, but most of it I ended up doing myself. I didn't have a clue going into this and hubby laughed at me when I said I thought I could figure out how to do the work myself. I bought books and read how to articles online. I sanded and refinished the hardwood floors myself, I did the drywalling and texturing myself. And I was very pleased when he finally had to admit that I did a great job that looked like a professional did it.

Oh ye man of little faith! HA! Showed you! LOL!

Anyway - I was working full time when I did all this remodeling work. I'd come home after work, put in several hours, grab some supper, then go back and work till 10 or 11 at night. Then up at 4 am to get ready for work. Some nights I didn't sleep at all because I would rent equipment after work in the city (like floor sanders), bring it home, work all night, then return it the next morning before work.

Needless to say with a schedule like that I got burned out on the whole home remodeling thing. There are lots of projects that still need to be finished - including my bathroom. I finished the kids', and did hubby's far enough so it was functional. Then I started on mine and got as far as hanging the drywall and taping the seams. We've been using it for 5 years now as is. I still need to finish mudding, sand it, texture it, and paint it. I'm thinking that would be a good project for me to get back into if I feel like munching!

We'll see though. Now that the weather has finally warmed up it's awefully hard to make myself stay inside to work on things. I'd much rather be out in my garden!
 
Hi Tig,

Great work on the 135. You really have come so far- don't forget that!! I know what you mean about looking at the flaws in your body. I think when we are heavier we don't see the flaws because there is just all this fat everywhere. When you lose weight and get to a normal place then we can pick apart the pieces and see what we think are the things wrong with our bodies forgetting where we were before- you know what I mean? I don't look at my legs because they are muscular - same with my arms. What I focus on is the chest, abs, and love handle areas where there is loose skin and the main places for improvement. I think that is just human nature looking at our flaws instead of strong points.

It is important to look at our best areas first then look at the weaker areas. Take your before pictures and really look at them and compare it to your body today. Big difference isn't it. I did that this weekend and was amazed at how far I have come. Chest, abs and love handles are still there but compared to where I was - WOW-lol.

Sounds like you need to set a goal again. The 1/2 marathon I am running in August has helped to keep me on track. Is there a run/race locally you can sign up for- just a thought to help keep you away from the evil Doritos-lol.

I took all my fat clothes out of my closet two weeks ago and gave them all to Goodwill. I am NOT going to need them again- ever-lol. All they were doing was cluttering up my closet- so they are gone.

I can understand you being burned out- that is a lot with working full time and trying to renovate- WOW! It is important to have some Tig-Time-lol. Sometime for yourself to do what you want. Run, have a massage, pedicure, ride horses, dig ditches (lol) - whatever allows you to relieve the stress and have some time for yourself. Take care of yourself first- then you can look after everyone else! Keep fighting the fight!!
 
Cowboy you are always so down to earth and sensible about these things! I appreciate that so much!

Well, taking stock of how the weekend went - it sucked. But not because of the usual reasons. By the time I got off work on Friday my throat was killing me and I was starting to cough like crazy. My twins have been sick for the last week and they were apparently kind enough to share their germs with me. I spent the weekend laying around, napping in front of the TV with them on each side of me and a box of tissues on my lap. My 8 year old succumbed Saturday night - so she spent Sunday on the couch with us as well. Feeling quite a bit better today - not coughing as much, but throat still a bit sore. I can't remember the last time I was sick - over a year ago I think? I guess I was due.

It's going to be a good week and I'm looking forward to the weekend. My hometown is having their annual celebration with rodeo and parade (hopefully everyone in my family is well by then). Last year was the big 100 year celebration - so this year will be quite a bit more laid back - but still fun. Hubby asked me if I still had the jeans I wore last year. He thought I looked good in the skin tight jeans I wore last June and said that several people had commented to him about how much weight I'd lost and how good I was looking. Well, I dug them out and they are REALLY baggy on me. They are size 8 stretch denim and I remember being so proud of myself for fitting into them and actually being able to (sort of) breathe with them on. Now I'd have to wear a belt with them to keep them up! I have a pair of size 4s right now that are just a bit tighter than what those were last year - but they aren't stretch denim. So I think I'll stick with my size 6s and be comfortable.

Hope everyone else has a good week!
 
Just stopping by to say hey, Tigs. Sorry I've not been around much--Full-time work is kicking maaaa butt! Hope you're well and that you get rid of the germs soon!!
 
Hi Tig,

Thanks. That is what we do for each other here- give support and advice. I am glad to help.

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. Sucks to be sick. It also sucks with the kids are sick as well. Makes for a stressful time.

I LOVE RODEOS-lol. They are such fun and I love to see the skills of some of these working cowboys and their horses- they are amazing. I also love the look of tight jeans on a lady. There is nothing better-LOL. Isn't it cool to know you are wearing a size 4 or 6. See how far you have come!! Remember that!! That will help keep you on the straight and narrow. I think all former fat people that have lost a lot of weight should take their biggest pair of pants or shirt and nail to the wall in the kitchen. Then when they go to the fridge for that delicious doughnut or cookie they will look up and see that giant pair of pants and then put the doughnut back-LOL. Great way to stop the over indulging. Have a great day!!
 
Today was good and bad...

The bad part of the day was the fact that my grandmother passed away this afternoon. She's had Alzheimer’s for a number of years, with it getting worse and worse the last year or so. In December she had a stroke that left her paralyzed on the left side of her face and body. She was not able to swallow any more without choking, so they had to put in a feeding tube. With physical therapy she was doing much better and we were planning to move her into a nearby nursing home that just got an opening recently. Except she had another stroke last week and was no longer responsive. Then her feeding tube collapsed and the family decided not to have it replaced. She went quietly this afternoon with my mom at her side. She was 82 years old.

I'm a bit sad, but I know she's happier now. My grandfather was the love of her life and he died suddently 19 years ago this month. I sometimes got the feeling that she's just been waiting this whole while, killing time until she could be with him again.

Foods were good today (around 1300 cals) and I got lots of exercise in the form of heavy lifting and other manual labor doing some yard work today. A building was torn down about 25 or 30 years ago and the lumber stacked next to a newly planted shelter belt, with the intention of using the lumber for something else. Well, no one ever got around to that project and the pile of lumber has rotted, especially once the trees grew and started dropping their leaves all over the lumber. We loaded the whole mess on a trailer and hauled it away. I also took down the black iron fence I have around my garden so I can expand it a little this year and make the fence bigger. I'm renting a big tiller from the city tomorrow when I work up there and will till it and break a bit more sod tomorrow night, then will take the tiller back in the morning.

Heading to bed now - I'm drained. Physically and emotionally.
 
Tigpuppy said:
Today was good and bad...

The bad part of the day was the fact that my grandmother passed away this afternoon. She's had Alzheimer’s for a number of years, with it getting worse and worse the last year or so. In December she had a stroke that left her paralyzed on the left side of her face and body. She was not able to swallow any more without choking, so they had to put in a feeding tube. With physical therapy she was doing much better and we were planning to move her into a nearby nursing home that just got an opening recently. Except she had another stroke last week and was no longer responsive. Then her feeding tube collapsed and the family decided not to have it replaced. She went quietly this afternoon with my mom at her side. She was 82 years old.

I'm a bit sad, but I know she's happier now. My grandfather was the love of her life and he died suddently 19 years ago this month. I sometimes got the feeling that she's just been waiting this whole while, killing time until she could be with him again.

Foods were good today (around 1300 cals) and I got lots of exercise in the form of heavy lifting and other manual labor doing some yard work today. A building was torn down about 25 or 30 years ago and the lumber stacked next to a newly planted shelter belt, with the intention of using the lumber for something else. Well, no one ever got around to that project and the pile of lumber has rotted, especially once the trees grew and started dropping their leaves all over the lumber. We loaded the whole mess on a trailer and hauled it away. I also took down the black iron fence I have around my garden so I can expand it a little this year and make the fence bigger. I'm renting a big tiller from the city tomorrow when I work up there and will till it and break a bit more sod tomorrow night, then will take the tiller back in the morning.

Heading to bed now - I'm drained. Physically and emotionally.
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Hi Tig,

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. It is so tough when you lose someone close. I have gone through it a few times myself- my mother, both sets of grandparents, my father in law. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!!
 
Thanks Cowboy. It's all part of life I guess...

Week is going well so far. Weight is going down (to 134.2 lbs) and my salary is going up! I just got a raise! YAY!!! Taking the rest of the day off of work to go with hubby to a doctor appointment. Afterwards we plan to go out to eat at Red Lobster. It's tradition that every time I get a raise, we go out to eat there. I'm going to be very good and have some sort of grilled fish and veggies though! And only ONE cheddar bay buiscuit. Man I love those things! But they are 150 cals each!

I'm also going to go swimsuit shopping since the one I have falls off now, ESPECIALLY when wet! I'm thinking I might get brave and get a real bikini this time. We'll see. I hate the way my belly button looks though - so might chicken out and get a tankini again or a 1 piece to cover up the stretch marks and weird looking belly button. Darn kids are HELL on a gals body!

Have a good weekend! Make healthy choices everyone!!!
 
Hi Tigs. Sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Definite yay about the raise. So nice to hear that someone is getting something.

Yay for the scale heading down again too.
 
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