Taking Back Control (A Diary)

Status
Not open for further replies.
Woot! Glad it was a good time, Loch!
smile.gif



Also, CONGRATS on the 1lb loss on Saturday!! :hurray: :hurray:


So sorry I haven't been posting a whole lot lately. These holidays are no joke! Been really feeling it hard these last few days at work :\ My poor jeep is probably going to need at least a few hundred dollars worth of repairs after all this insanity calms down! lol.. not looking forward to that. :)


Happy you're doing well! Be sure to update on us in more detail on your date! Although, if it was a really good date, then maybe you don't want to include every detail! hehe ;)
 
Ayou are on fire Loch!!! congrats on the continued weight loss....well done :) :)

I hear you on the clothes part...I only have one pair of jeans and one pair of work pants that fit proper.....I so hate shopping for myself......my office, because I am in the production area....is super casual and I wear hoodies and sweat pants 90% of the time...they are massive on me but still stay on....but on the occasions that I have to "dress" appropriate for meetings with clients or company heads....people are always in shock!! its like I lost all 40 pounds over nite....its so funny!! but the point of my story is I always feel better and prettier and happier when I am in clothes that fit proper....but I sure am more comfy in my regular dud's haha :)
 
ANot sure why I lost motivation to post here. I tried a couple times but ended up doing something else.

Anyway, the date was great. We went to a seafood place (although I refuse to eat seafood) just to see what it was like, and if they served non-seafood. Ended up eating a plate of onion rings, a couple mozza sticks, some chicken. John (the guy I met) was somewhat shy. It started off awkward, but eventually I got more comfortable. He offhandedly said "I wonder if there's something else we can do. I could show you my place but that might seem creepy of me..." to which I replied saying that I'm a gamer, that's not creepy, gamers hang out at each others home. I got a good vibe from him, you know? We went to his apartment and talked for hours. His room mates came back, they talked, we talked, and eventually he took me home.

We met again last week, just for some lunch. I'm starting to think there's nothing there. We have so much in common it's weird...but he seems like he's isn't ready for a relationship. I jokingly said "You're bad for my diet" and he replied saying "Once I'm back from my trip I'll be a changed man, and better for your diet" because he's out on a farm now and trying to change his eating habits. I said "does that mean we'll go out more together?" he got a little awkward and said something along the lines of us being friends. I'm not sure if he's not into me, or if he's afraid to try. Either way, I felt the need to take a step back...and since then we've barely talked.

Maybe I'm just too lonely. I don't know.

I've been cheating a bit, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I joined a gym with my brother, it's got a treadmill and a bunch of other stuff. My routine is 20 min treadmill at 3.5mph, 30 min on the elliptical, and then 20min again on the treadmill. A site I use tells me that should burn 839 calories, but the machines say it's more like 500. I dunno...I guess, regardless, it's a good deficit.

I'm a manager at work now, so I work mornings. I found out one of my bosses is leaving. He was a co-owner, but from what I heard, he wasn't getting paid for the amount of work he did. Also, apparently, there was nothing in writing regarding him being co-owner. I think he got screwed over. It makes me feel...anxious. I like my job, but now I work 6x a week because I'm obligated. Now I have to do more, and get paid less than I ought to be, because I'm sure they know they can take advantage of me. I liked it better when I was just a till monkey. But what can I do? It pays my bills, and I know my video games. I just hope they give me a raise, or give me a free game here and there. Those small things make my job a little more worthwhile.

I'm 10lb behind my goal...but whatever. Summer WILL be good. I just need to get to that gym more!

Also, bought my mom a 32in LCD tv for Christmas to replace the 19in tube tv in her room. I hope it makes her happy. I don't remember the last time we ever got her anything. I'll be broke til the 30th but it's worth it :).

Thanks guys for stopping by. Sorry I've been so...MIA lol.
 
AWell, John has ADD and social anxiety. I have a feeling he's a very guarded person. But I'm not interested in being the one to make all the moves. I'm tired of that. I want someone to want me, romance me, make me feel wanted. If he can't do that then I'll just wait for a guy who can. Maybe it's heartless of me, but it's just how I am. Being friends is fine. I understand that, and I'm not going to get upset over this. I come first, dating comes second. Once summer comes I'll be looking to date for real :).

My brother lost like 70lb in 6 months, he's way more motivated than I am. It's helpful, for sure. Just sucks I have stuff I have to do these next few days! Oh well, I'm gonna hit the gym every chance I get!
 
Hey Loch!
smile.gif



Well, hopefully everything works out with John. He sounds like a decent fella, but social anxiety and ADD is tough. I still have a great deal of social anxiety maybe he just doesn't want to come on too strong and scare you away? I don't know, I could be wrong. Relationships are still pretty foreign to me, but maybe communicate to him that you are interested if you are? That, or maybe just start drinking when you guys get together! hehe :biggrin: I find alcohol really helps tackle those awkward hurdles for me! I'm definitely a bit of a wildcard after a few shots. :p


Summer will be great! Can't wait for this darn holiday season to be over!


That sucks about your job. Getting paid less to do more? Sounds like you and I work for the same people.. lol. You'd think having a government job would be good? Well, no. Apparently not when we're about to go bankrupt in a few months supposedly. blegh


But at least you have a job. In this economy, it's still tough just finding work.


Congrats on joining a gym too!
smile.gif
That's awesome! I'm going to be joining one myself come next year. Hopefully to help with some of these loose skin issues by bulking up a bit.


Anyway, nice to see an update, Loch! Don't even fret about the cheating - it happens and it's not even that bad from what you're describing! Like you said, next summer will kick ass! :hurray:


Keep us posted!
 
Loch, havent spoken to you in FOREVER. How are ya my love? Hope you had a fab christmas, and have an even better 2012:) You are such a huge inspiration on here, hope to hear from you soon!! Lots of love xxx
 
ABeen eating badly, but whatever.

Feeling kind of sad, but the holiday's are almost over. I'll be happy once people stop being so lovey-happy lol.

Plan on trying hard again for the new year. I'm glad to see you around Irish, was worried about you :).

I still read stuff on here, just haven't had the mood to post.
 
AAh, in something of a better mood. Sorry I'm so dour these days.

Christmas was never a huge deal for us, especially when my father passed away. Eventually we just sort of spread apart and only visted extended family on Christmas day as a sort of ritual. Regardless, I went in expecting nothing, but I did get some things.

My mom paid my cell phone bill (75, yikes).
My brother paid for my first month + sign up fee for a 1 year card for the gym near by
My aunt bought me a nivia skin care product bundle, the typical Christmas bundle thing. It's actually really nice cuz I need it lol.

All in all, it was alright. Surprisingly, I maintained at 211 this last week. Now I'm going to try even harder, since there's no more excuse for eating cake and chocolates with the family lol.

Today I'll be at a good 1200 consumed
At the gym I burned 1300
 
AHi loch..... just checking in...my moods have been kinda of crazy too...and its affected me being on here...but I am so glad to see you are still here and plowing away at it....2012 is gonna be big for all of us...I can just feel it!! :)
 
Originally Posted by Loch

Ah, in something of a better mood. Sorry I'm so dour these days.
Christmas was never a huge deal for us, especially when my father passed away. Eventually we just sort of spread apart and only visted extended family on Christmas day as a sort of ritual. Regardless, I went in expecting nothing, but I did get some things.
My mom paid my cell phone bill (75, yikes).
My brother paid for my first month + sign up fee for a 1 year card for the gym near by
My aunt bought me a nivia skin care product bundle, the typical Christmas bundle thing. It's actually really nice cuz I need it lol.
All in all, it was alright. Surprisingly, I maintained at 211 this last week. Now I'm going to try even harder, since there's no more excuse for eating cake and chocolates with the family lol.
Today I'll be at a good 1200 consumed
At the gym I burned 1300
Click to expand...


I'm glad you're feeling better, Loch
smile.gif



I can relate to those feelings of being tired of all the 'lovey-happy' people running around you constantly during the holidays. I mean, I think of myself as much more optimistic now than I was, but sometimes my old self makes slight reappearances in my head and just wants it to be done with. Bah-humbug! :biggrin:


Nice work on the diet and exercise! :hurray: And your goodies received sound quite nice!


Keep up the great work!
smile.gif
 
Yes, Loch - we need an update!
smile.gif



I'm glad to see you keeping up with your chart! You're doing awesome! 210!! :hurray:


Just give us a little info on how you're doing aside from that sometime soon, ok?
smile.gif
No pressure though! We miss ya!
smile.gif
 
I agree! :( Where is Loch? :(


I keep an eye on your chart, and I noticed a gain this passed entry. I hope everything is going ok, Loch! I'm sure it's just water weight! I'm struggling with that too :(


Please give us an update and let us know how you're doing sometime soon, yes? :)
 
AI don't know what it is...I found myself cringing whenever I looked at the tab for this site on my browser :(.

Yes, I kept updating my chart. I had a feeling someone would be watching it lol, it's all I seemed to have the mental energy for.

Ever since the holiday's I've been stuck maintaining. I've been going up and down, but never below 210. I know it's because I started becoming social, hanging out with John, playing D&D with some co-workers, working a lot. Not sure if I mentioned that I'm a manager now, woo...not that I got a raise or anything.

Just been really hard on myself. At least I'm still at 210-ish, which is amazing. I'm struggling, but it could be so much more worse.

Thanks for the posts! I'm sorry if I made people worry. I guess that I just felt so upset that I kept saying I'd eat good, I'd exercise, when I never really did. How could I go from doing so well, to being so lazy? I worry that I'll hit my goal and get like this again...then again, I tend to maintain. I'm doing one thing right.

I got a cold. Which sucks, but I'm gonna at least go to the gym and maybe walk on the treadmill for an hour and a half for some exercise. I hate being sick.

I'll update more later, I'm tired and need to get up in 7 hours.

I need to lose this weight...I can still hit my goal by summer. I really gotta try harder :(.
 
Loch!! :hurray:


So glad you're posting again, even if it's difficult!


Don't worry. You're not the only one who has trouble clicking on that bookmark sometimes. There have been a few occasions where coming on here is difficult for me because I've hit a slump and don't want to appear like a failure. You're not a failure obviously. None of us on this forum are. You have done so amazingly and continue to do so! :)


One of the primary reasons this community exists is to keep you on track, focused, and to give you the support you need, especially when these tough moments arise - and they do more often than not.


Oh, and just so I read that right, you got promoted, with more responsibility, but no pay raise? That's pretty bogus! :[ I'd have a strong opinion or two for the corporate office suits if I was in that position, even though I'm not confrontational. A phone call to them would probably still suffice to get some more money :)


Anyway, the fact that you pushed through that slight feeling of dread and resumed posting here is testament alone to your resolve to stay committed to this process and reach your goals! You may not reach them in the time you want, much like I've struggled with, but you will!! =)


Happy to see you're still around, Loch. Feel better and, please, don't deprive us of your lovely company for too long again, ok?? :)
 
Hopping in to say really glad to see you back, Loch. I know what you mean about not wanitng to come to the site sometimes, although ironically that's usually when I need it the most!

Hope things are going the way you want them.. what's this I see about John? Did you guys decide to date in the end or just stayed good friends? (PS: hope you know who this is, had to delete my old forum account due to being paranoid an ex was going to find me. :p - C r y m ! )
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top