Taking Back Control (A Diary)

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Originally Posted by Loch

High School was SO bad. I ended up dropping out 3 times and eventually just going through an Adult 12 program. That way I could just go once a week for an hour and get the grade done. I had very little friends. I went into grade 9 a year after my father's death, and soon contracted mono/strep (hence how I lost the 40lb). When I got back from being sick, my class was doing a group assignment. The teacher told me to join one group, so as I was heading toward them they quickly grabbed someone from another group so I couldn't join them. It made me cry. There were several times where I ended up crying in public during High School. People can be cruel.
But that's all in the past. I've made a lot of changes...I'm trying to stay positive, and ignore those feelings, I remind myself that there are better ways to dealing with pain than through self mutilation.
Anyway! I hit 229 today, a full 20lb loss since July 16th. I'm going to make October a good month, and get as active as I can.

Wow, people can be so cruel. Good for you for finishing in your own way!!! I love your attitude about October, get to it! :D
 
AIt's hard walking away from fast food, and sometimes I don't, but this month is going to go my way >=O.

Thank you all for the compliments :). It means so much.

Today I had
Apple for 50
Curves protein shake for 120
2x instant oatmeal for 260

Nooo, I cheated. Oh well. I had McDonalds, it's been a while, and after seeing my coworker chowing down on some McD's I went to get some. Checked the site for nutrition, it was about 1610 =/.

Total: 2040

Today I did
Curves for 417
Walking for 280

Total: 697

Day 13 - Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

I'd say I'm losing weight in a healthy way. I've been making sure to eat throughout the day, keeping my calories at 1200. I'm exercising, but not too much. I've been level headed about everything, trying not to beat myself up if I cheat once in a while. The last thing I want is to make BAD habits. I'm making changes for life.
 
Originally Posted by Loch

I just say it how it is ^^. I love reading other people's journey's, and your guys' are some of the best.
Chart? No, I just post here. I'm not sure where I would even start with a chart xD.


Well, if you'd like, you can copy/paste the code I use in my little online blog, edit out my numbers/colors/whatever, and input your own :)


I did that for a friend of mine a few months ago, but I'm not sure if she still uses it. She never put it online :(
 
AWoohoo I went ahead and copied your chart and made one for myself, the link is in my signature. I've been doing the monthly challenge here since August, unfortunately I had no records for July. I went ahead and included my start weight from 2 years ago.
 
Originally Posted by Loch

Woohoo I went ahead and copied your chart and made one for myself, the link is in my signature. I've been doing the monthly challenge here since August, unfortunately I had no records for July. I went ahead and included my start weight from 2 years ago.


That's great, Loch! :hurray:


Looks awesome! I'll be sure to check on it every week after I update my own :biggrin:
 
AToday I had
2x ham stick for 90
Chicken Bacon Ranch 6" sub for 500
Half a bag of chips for 100
Lean cuisine chicken for 300
Slim fast brownie bar for 100
Cereal for 200

Total: 1290

Today I did
Curves group workout for 500
Walking for 280

Total: 780

Day 14 - What is your ultimate goal weight/look?

I'd ultimately like to be well toned, and look more confident. I want to be able to move without being so damn clumsy (I swear I trip over air all the time). I don't want to be ripped, or have big muscles, but I do want to have some. It's hard to explain because I've never been under 160, I've never toned or anything. All I know is that I want to be able to do a lot of things I have in mind (which I'll answer later). I definitely want to be more flexible! Ideally a size 8 would be nice, if not lower.
 
Hey hun, I just read your diary and I am definitely wishing you luck in this!! You have done great with the loss so far! You can deinitely see the results in your tummy and face! Great job!

:hurray:
 
AThanks Time4! I remember when I used to sit in my computer chair, I could feel my love-handles against my arms. Now I can't, I feel so much better :).

So I had my dentist exam today. My dentist (who is a student) is Ashly, and she was super nice. We even talked about video games (she just got into Gears of War and wants to buy an X360). My appointment was shorter than I expected, but it all worked out. I bussed back home, and walked to Curves. I wanted to try the Zumba they had every Thursday night. I was early so I did my normal workout, not expecting the Zumba to incorporate the machines. I worked up such a sweat. After half an hour we did Zumba, and it turns out we do do the circuit. Oh well, I got 2 workouts done today. It was fun, and I'd love to do it again.

I'll get a call form the dentist on when to come in again. She said I'll need one tooth pulled, one filling, a cleaning, and they may call in a Periodontist in. Some of my teeth are moving a bit, and the gums are receding. She said after a cleaning my gums should heal, but we'll see.

Today I had
2x ham stick for 90
Lean Cuisine chicken for 300
Dorito's Snack for 100
Curves Shake for 120
One hamburger for 250
20 Tater tots for 320
Slim Fast brownie bar for 100

Total: 1280

Today I did
Curves workout + Curves Zumba workout for 955
Walking for 280

Total: 1235

Day 15 - Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?

I'm not, and I'm not sure I ever could be. I like to eat meat. I've eaten it all my life, and although I understand the beliefs behind being began and vegetarian, it would be way too much of a change for me. My one friend, he basically became vegetarian if I recall, and he lost a lot of weight. Unless it were a life/death situation, I wouldn't be able to change my way of eating that much.
 
AI don't plan on doing that again unless I need to xD. Curves is pretty easy for a workout, anyway. I feel good :). Even after my group workouts I haven't been aching in the morning, so that's always nice.
 
AToday I had
Oatmeal for 260
Curves shake for 120
Apple for 50
2x ham stick for 90
Pumpkin spice muffin for 410
Ice cap for 150
Pizza sub for 270
Half a bag of chips for 100

Total: 1450

Today I did
Curves workout for 380
Walking for 280

Total: 660

Day 16 - When did you first decide to lose weight?

It's hard to say, I've tried many times. Back in 2006 I joined curves to lose some weight, my boyfriend at the time encouraged me to do it for my health. I was 19 at the time, and weighed 219. I managed to get down to 212 before I ended up giving up after my trip to visit him in England. I became depressed...it was hard being in a long distance relationship.

I gained all the weight back, and then some. I then tried to lose weight, again, in 2009. I joined a different gym with a coworker, lasted about a month, and then I caved. I was at 257 (at one point I was at 260). I guess I forgot what I was fighting for. I had a boyfriend, my job, a life. I was comfortable.

After breaking up with my fiance in Janurary, I decided to do what most people do when they break up, have a makeover. I joined Curves again in Febuaray. I went 3x a week for a month, it got to the point where I got blisters on my feet from all the walking. It started getting really cold out so I couldn't walk there anymore, so I used that as an excuse...then my last boyfriend. We dated...and we ate out a lot. He had money, and he just moved, so eating in wasn't much of an option.

We broke up mutally, and I felt even more than anything that I wanted to be thin. I want to (as shallow as this sounds) be with a man I find attractive. I'm attracted to a certain type, and that type is the type who would probably prefer a woman that's not overweight. I want guys like that to notice me. The tall, dark and handsome men. I've always been with any guy who would take me...and they always moved on by cheating on me and finding something better. I want to be in control. I want to be so drop dead georgeous that when a guy sees me, he'll want me just from one look. I've been rejected, cheated, and abused by men all my life. I need this confidence.

So in July, shortly after breaking up with Andrew (who was a sweetheart, honestly), I decided that this is it. No more dating, just me and my weight loss. From there I just kept going. I'll keep going until I get what I want.
 
Loch you are working out so much girl, well done chick!! is that curve shake nice?:):)


You are doing brilliant, you should be proud of yourself xxxxxx
 
AThanks, I'm really proud ^^. Already lost 4lb since I started this thing on the 26th.

The Curves shake is really good, it's 2 scoups of the vanilla powder, and one cup of skim milk. Although I don't have a blender so it gets clumpy because I'm not good at stirring it up xD. It's 15g of protein so I try to drink it when I get home from my workout :D.
 
ACongrats on the 4 pounds!! :) :)

I really thing I need to invest in a protein powered also....I struggle every day to get my minimum protein amount!....I had bad experiential with any shake stuff in the past...so chalky and yucky,,,maybe I'll stop in to the local curves and grab one of theirs.


Keep on kicking butt my forum buddy!! you are doing so great!! I love that you walk to your work out!! I did that all summer also and I miss it now that it is to dark for me to walk home alone! So proud of you!!
 
ATheir shakes used to be chalky, but now they taste pretty good. I got the vanilla, tastes like ice cream lol.

Thanks for the support ^^. I think sometimes the milk upsets my stomach, but I still try to drink one every time I work out.
 
AOh my God I'm never eating like that again. I feel so GROSS. Argh, I wanted to stuff away my guilt and eat without feeling bad, and now I'm so stuffed and I'm actually looking forward to going back to the diet and exercising. Bah! Knowing me I'll do the same thing come Christmas. Thankfully that's still over 2 months away!

Today I had
1x ham stick for 45
Sausage egg and cheese on an English muffin, 2x hashbrown, 1 orange juice, one ice cap for 920
Wendy's chicken strips, large fries, small coke for 740
Turkey, vegetables, stuffing, gravy, ham, mashed potatoes, 1 slice of pumpkin pie with two scoops of cool whip for...no clue, a lot lol.


Total: 1705 + ?? Probably 2500 or more. It was a bad, bad day.

Today I did
Curves is closed til Tuesday.

Total: --

Day 17 - What is your favorite treat meal?
I'd have to say McDonalds or anything fast food. I love those fries. I try not to cave in a get fast food but sometimes I hit a period where I'm weaker willed and I just have to have it. I've beat it into myself to start over if I do treat myself. Hell, one day I had McDonalds and because I worked out I still had 300 calories I could have to eat something. I'm just bad for feeling guilty. Ah well, food is so, so delicious.
 
You sound like your loving Curves, im delighted for you that your doing so much exercise:) How many calories are in those shakes? are they filling?:) and also where do you buy them?


xxx
 
AThey're 120 calories for one glass, and it satisfies my hunger for about 2 and a half hours or so. My morning looks like this:

1 apple on my walk to Curves at 12:00 P.M.
Curves shake at 1:30 P.M.
Oatmeal (or something similar) at 3:30 P.M.

I work better on routine and schedule. This has been working great for me. I give myself 400 for the morning, 400 during the day, and 400 when I get home. Sometimes I go a little higher.

You might be able to order the shake online, or if you have a Curves location you can buy it from their facility. I live in Canada and they're about $20.00. It lasts about 3 months or so.

Curves is great. It's only half an hour workout, but it works all the muscles and it's easy to learn. It's women only, so that's great too. People are nice there, and they do little events and stuff to keep you involved and motivated. I just am a lazy person so sometimes I sleep in...I'm addicted to sleep xD.
 
120 cals sounds unreal, especailly that it keeps you full for 2 and a half hours! Do you know if i could buy them in Ireland?



You are doing great Loch girly, exercising loaaaaaaaads! I need to start!:) keep up the positive work hun xxx
 
AI'm not too good with geography but there were some locations in Ireland. Check it out: http://www.curves.com/locations/

Thanks for the support ^^
 
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