SOS...I am sinking the boat!!!

I cleaned my living room carpet and boy did i sweat up a storm, i moved the furniture and i think it took me about an hour or so..today i want to do the furniture as well as up my stairs and my room....

i have a baby shower today for my brothers girlfriend...so exciting that at 43 my brother is having a "surprise" baby :)...I know my dtr would have been so excited that her uncle k is having a girl, she loved the little kids so much...when my brother told me, i sobbed and sobbed and sobbed because everything happy that happens to me is saddened by the fact that i cant ever share it with her.

i am sleeping better and as a matter of fact i went to bed at about 12:00 last night and woke up at 8 am, yes i wake up a few times a night now but i am able to go right back to sleep. Its really very nice to feel rested in the morning

Today was the 3rd day in a row the scale solidly said 179....thats significant to me because it means to me i am truly on my way. With the hubby hunting for 2 weeks and my dtr gone, I am going to try to get some good workouts in............I am going to have to rejoin the gym or set up my workout stuff different in order to maintain any workout regime (sp?)...its tough when you live with couch potatos....

Well I better get going if i want to get to the shower a little early to help

I promise that I will eat ALOT of salad, NO dessert and watch my portions for everything I eat....I am committed to myself and this weight loss....I can do this.....
 
Karebare ROCKs

Hi Karebare; I just read your entire diary and laughed out loud a few times; Captains Log 25/10/08, Bowling Sux (I think so too) and the lesbian concert. Oh my god, you are a blast.

Your weight goal is great and you are clearly going to make it. I love your honesty in your diary, bad food and days you succeed. Congrats on getting under 180.

It must be hard when you're surrounded by couch potatoes. Maybe when husband sees your success and commitment, he will believe for himself he can do it too.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dear daughter. Halloween night, my 20 year old son got a DUI (driving under the influence). He totalled both cars and miraculously, no one was hurt. He has big money to pay, and will lose his license for one year. He's very ashamed. I've been reading ALTA's posts and they have helped me also. I cannot imagine what you've been through and what you continue to experience, brother's shower included. The fact you can have humor and continue to live fully says a LOT about your character (((Karebare))) !!!
Know that I'm in your corner and will be rooting for you all the way.
- weight loss and everything.

I love that you post your food. I have to do that also. Keep going Gorgeous. You are on the weight-loss train. Whoooooooooah !!!!! (screamed like judge Mary Murphy from So You Think You Can Dance)
 
Oh 2skinny (i wont call you 2skin...that doesnt sound right)..i will drop by your journal soon, i just have a quick second before i am going to drive my dtr back to college.

It has been a tough year and half...i am making it through...sometimes i want to curl up in a ball and never get up...but i have learned that the feelings pass....sometimes like this morning i wake up and i can see her on the gurney with the tubes out of her mouth...i went in to see her by myself and my husband wouldnt go in with me...i then called my mother and she came in with me....she had went out the side window of the vehicle and her injury was to her head but the rest of her was perfect...someday i will write the entire story......sometimes i want to scream...sometimes i want to drink...sometimes i want to die...but feelings come and go.........and when these things happen i remind myself of the things i am grateful for.....

at the shower:
salad (probably too much ranch dressing)
a chicken breast
about 1 tbsp of mashed potatos with a little gravy to taste
greenbeans
1/2 of cabbage roll
NO CAKE OR THE EVIL CREAM PUFFS.....

but i did put a little baileys in my coffee and called it my dessert and ate a bite size milky way

okay be back soon...
 
2skinny tell your son he is very lucky..tell him of my dtr and her best friend and how...the best friend has to live with the fact she killed my dtr.......it has been such a hard year for her......
 
Thanks Karebare I have already emailed my son your and ALTA posts and I will talk with him about your daughter's friend also. Any time you want to post or PM about your experience ... I'm there.

Way to go on the shower food ! That sounds really restrained. Now that you mention coffee, I'm going to have one. lol

P.S. I wish I didn't pick 2Skinny as a username because it does sound bad. Some people call me that when I'm at 140 pounds because I'm 5'9" tall. But it is really a good and healthy weight, not anoerexic. Call me Lili :)
 
Great Lili.....I will PM you my dtr's virtual memorial site...its kind of cool

She also has a Friends Against Drunk Driving space on Myspace

okay

now

i was starving on the way home from taking my kid to school

i had a mcdonalds chicken wrap (no sauce) 250--really i found that honey mustard only adds like 10 cals....go for it...

and a caesare salad NO chicken (90) with my lite caesar dressing (35)'


i am not sure i can count the rest of my day, but i think i did good...

i am cleaning my furniture now..
 
4 piece chicken nugget is only 190 cals..maybe thats better than the grilled chicken wrap when i am on the go...probably less filling
 
i was kind of bad today.....weird day

so i had a lia sophia jewelry party tonight...i am not much of a jewelry wearer but the girl who was the consultant did my dtr's fundraiser for her scholarship fund so i figured what the hell..a girls night and my house will be super clean...ended up doing pretty well and their jewelry is really nice. I am getting $118 free, 4 items for $15 bucks and a few other things...plus i got to see all my friends.

I ate bad today but I am still writing it down

So I got up at 6:30 and started cleaning RIGHT away....at about 11:00 I decide I am hungry but the salad i made last night FROZE in my fridge...damnit..i dont know why my fridge does that sometimes....but anyway i had to think on the fly

I had 1 peice of bread 80 with a slice of cheese 80 and some lite mayo 35 then a handful of pretzels 70.

At about 1:30 I had to go go work for a meeting and I was hungry again..I had a plain burger 250 and small fry 230 at mickey d's (argh)

finally tonight i had 2 bite size peices of cherry streusel?? 200??, a handful of carrots, a few pita chips 233, some hommus (90), some mexidip (230..ouch), a handful of chips 138+150 (both reg and corn) and some fruit.....

i dont even know if i can count the calories but i am going to try

i get around 1750 calories for the day

wow...ouch...
 
Karebare said:
I had 1 peice of bread 80 with a slice of cheese 80 and some lite mayo 35 then a handful of pretzels 70.

At about 1:30 I had to go go work for a meeting and I was hungry again..I had a plain burger 250 and small fry 230 at mickey d's (argh)

finally tonight i had 2 bite size peices of cherry streusel?? 200??, a handful of carrots, a few pita chips 233, some hommus (90), some mexidip (230..ouch), a handful of chips 138+150 (both reg and corn) and some fruit.....

i dont even know if i can count the calories but i am going to try

i get around 1750 calories for the day

wow...ouch...
Click to expand...

Wow, showers and jewellry parties, sounds like a busy time.
You're reaching for the empty calorie food, but looks like you kept your calories at a good level. Tomorrow is another chance to nourish your body with wholesome food. :)

What's your weight loss goal by Christmas? Are you a baker? Thank god I'm not or I'd be in serious trouble at Xmas time. Although I ordered some goodies from co-workers who are fundraising for their kids ... Will need to give some to my sons, bring some to other people's houses as little gifts, and some to my work unit. LOL Planning already.
Have a nice nite Kare !!
 
Well I dont bake, thats why they have bakeries....i like slice a bake cookies or the kind you buy in the container and scoop out...

I woke up and wasnt feeling very well ...I got up very late..I ended up grabbing a not so healthy breakfast of pita chips and hommus and fruit and i munched munched munched through the morning.....

For lunch I wanted to go to wendys and just dive into a big pile of fries and a cheeseburger with the works...I didnt pack my lunch...HOWEVER, I chose to eat the salad I had in the fridge and a can of split pea soup...(no ham..)..it was good.....

I came home and grabbed more of those damn pita chips..argh i need to pitch them...and then sauted some crabmeat, onions, garlic in a 2tbsp olive oil and about 1/2 cup wine....i poured in over 1 1/2 cup of bowtie pasta (210 cals) and that was dinner..just me and my beagle dog....

I gotta get back on track here.....
 
good morning

today my resolve has taken a big hit....i stepped on the scale and i was 183.5...2 days of not being "perfect" with my food and i am up 4 pounds....I know i shouldnt be discouraged but damnit...i worked hard for over a month for 6 pounds....and a few chips and bad decisions and its all back........i gotta get over this hump

i think i am going to do a protein drink for breakfast and lunch and take a bunch of veggies....i have a whole tray from my party....no carbs.....

my foot is also hurting pretty badly and i need to go to the foot dr....hell ya hit 45 and its all downhill..i havent felt like exercising at all............zumba doesnt even sound fun.........

i gotta get all this negativity out of my head it is sabotaging my efforts.:banghead: Journey not a destination right........i know its totally a carb thing the last few days plus probably some water retention.....i guess i will just get back up on the horse today and hit it hard...

hope everyone has a great day.......i am going to PLAN on it....(count my blessings on the way to work)
 
Morning, I just wanted to step in here and break the ice. I haven't done the whole diary yet but I love your sense of humor. A little twisted - check, in touch with the "inner perv" - check, sarcasm - whats that?

Yup, I'm a fan already!

BTW, hows the CPAP going for you? I've been using mine for a couple of years now. I think my IQ went up 20 points as soon as I adjusted to it. Took a while to adjust though...
 
Karebare said:
good morning

today my resolve has taken a big hit....i stepped on the scale and i was 183.5...2 days of not being "perfect" with my food and i am up 4 pounds....I know i shouldnt be discouraged but damnit...i worked hard for over a month for 6 pounds....and a few chips and bad decisions and its all back........i gotta get over this hump

i think i am going to do a protein drink for breakfast and lunch and take a bunch of veggies....i have a whole tray from my party....no carbs.....

my foot is also hurting pretty badly and i need to go to the foot dr....hell ya hit 45 and its all downhill..i havent felt like exercising at all............zumba doesnt even sound fun.........

i gotta get all this negativity out of my head it is sabotaging my efforts.:banghead: Journey not a destination right........i know its totally a carb thing the last few days plus probably some water retention.....i guess i will just get back up on the horse today and hit it hard...

hope everyone has a great day.......i am going to PLAN on it....(count my blessings on the way to work)
Click to expand...

Kare, sorry to hear about the setback. Geez, like it hasn't happened to me and most of us around here, hey? It happens. I know what you mean about after 45 ... I have friends in their 50s who say that decade is even more brutal for weight loss. But the same principal applies, no matter what decade we're in ... more energy out than calories/energy in = weight loss. It just takes us older broads a wee bit more strenuous attention because you're right, 6 pounds over a month can come back in 2 days. But you're also right that most of it is fluid weight gain. A week of healthy eating and some exercise and you're back to 179.

Do you meal plan for the week? 'No plan is a plan for failure' is my motto. I have to grocery shop with my meals in mind - I break it down to breakfasts, lunches and suppers. I also use fitday.com to log in my food and stay on top of actual calorie count. This has been a super useful tool. It takes a while out of your day, but after a few weeks it goes fast.

Biggest aspect of weight loss for me, has been learning to make food choices in meal plans that nourish me, versus food choices that comfort me. Fish for supper tonight, not excited about it, but will throw some pineapple and salsa on top to make it go down nice.

Hey, and remember, it's a process for all of us. You're not going to 'hit it hard' and burn yourself out and give up. You're going to keep on making the healthy choices you made to lose those 6 pounds, and add some more good habits, bit by bit. I'm still learning how to talk myself out of junk food binges for criminy's sake- so you are SO not alone.

This setback needed to happen to get you to examine parts of your plan that are working ... and parts that are not. And to tweak the new lifestyle. You can do it Kare. You are doing it.

Crappy about your foot. Do you own some free weights, say 5 or 8 pounders? Upper body work until foot is well enough to walk/jog?

RAH RAH RAH Give me a K, Give me an A, Give me an R, Give me an E, whadduya got? KARE !! Go Kare !! :biggrinjester:

Have a great choice-by-choice day.
 
reluctantcabbie said:
Morning, I just wanted to step in here and break the ice. I haven't done the whole diary yet but I love your sense of humor. A little twisted - check, in touch with the "inner perv" - check, sarcasm - whats that?

Yup, I'm a fan already!

BTW, hows the CPAP going for you? I've been using mine for a couple of years now. I think my IQ went up 20 points as soon as I adjusted to it. Took a while to adjust though...
Click to expand...

I 2nd what RC says, twisted sense of humors are the BEST.

What is CPAP?
 
a CPAP is this beautiful device that you wear at night if you have sleep apnea, it forces air down your airpassage so you dont stop breathing if you snore....(yes ...i am getting sexier and more attractive to you by the moment)....i have had insomnia for a long time and i slept on the chair almost everynight and had to force myself to get up...the dr asked me to do a sleep study and it turns out i stop breathing and never get into total deep sleep....i have had it for about a week now and except for a little discomfort in wearing it, i am sleeping good and feeling good....my husband i think has found himself strangley aroused by the darth vader look...maybe theres a little more nerd in him than he would like to think.....HA.........well, really i dont have to wear it while we are doing it! HA...unless we need a little shot of forced oxygen every now and again for a boost to the finish line...

okay..i am out of control and i am running late.....

notice my evasion to the whole food thing..........

will write more later!
 
Well, the mask would go well with a gimp suit, or maybe he likes the mask and wants to act out the scene with Dennis Hopper and Isabella Rossellini in Blue Velvet...

It took me about 2 weeks to get used to it, but then, wow, I slept for like 8 hours... in a row even... what a concept!
 
Karebare said:
a CPAP is this beautiful device that you wear at night if you have sleep apnea, it forces air down your airpassage so you dont stop breathing if you snore....(yes ...i am getting sexier and more attractive to you by the moment)....i have had insomnia for a long time and i slept on the chair almost everynight and had to force myself to get up...the dr asked me to do a sleep study and it turns out i stop breathing and never get into total deep sleep....i have had it for about a week now and except for a little discomfort in wearing it, i am sleeping good and feeling good....my husband i think has found himself strangley aroused by the darth vader look...maybe theres a little more nerd in him than he would like to think.....HA.........well, really i dont have to wear it while we are doing it! HA...unless we need a little shot of forced oxygen every now and again for a boost to the finish line...

okay..i am out of control and i am running late.....

notice my evasion to the whole food thing..........

will write more later!
Click to expand...
hahahah....... YOU FREAKY WOMAN.....:reddevil: I LOVE IT!!! :drool5:......

......I always tell my bf.....he has the "NERD" in him....he for some reason SEEMS TO THINK, it's the other way around!!!

Keep up the Positive Attitude Girl!!! Yeaaaaa!!!!
 
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