.....

....OH YOU POOR SWEET THING!!!

I do understand you....more than you think!!!! I actually "USED" to be constantly tormented by my dreams as well, with the most horrible things I wouldn't even want to describe!

I have waken up in tears
HARD CORRRE so many times, and left crying for hours after in fear!
I am sure this WILL take time like you say, and of course you don't want to die as well. But I do know how sometimes at that exact moment, the feeling of DROWNING in these OVERWHELMING feelings, thoughts, and emotions,....feels SO REAL! It is not like you say, until we really grasp onto our reality that we realize that "NO, this is not what I really want"....but yes, the pain talks....and we do have to put on this facade for everyone around us to think things are FINE AND DANDY, when they really aren't sometimes!

......
...You know, I read this book called
THE FOUR AGREEMENTS, it's AMAZING!!!
......but anyway...in this book, it talks about how a lot of time, when we encounter people in a bad mood, or someone responds to us in a uncaring manner, or when they are happy, and when they are sweet,....all of the above emotions,....are just a "REFLECTION" of what we are encountering inside of us! The manner that people display what inner turmoils we are going through are sometimes, projected onto us, the innocent bystander sometimes,.....without knowing "WHY" this person has just acted in such a RUDE, BITCHY, UNCARING, NICE, etc. manner. We sometimes feel it is us who brought this about, yet people's actions really have nothing to do with us or responding to us, yet it's ALL ABOUT THEM AND WHAT IS HAPPENING WITHING THEM!
.........the reason I'm telling you this, .....is because you are AMAZING,.....you choose to be HAPPY, to not project your inner turmoil onto others, though it's hard

!!! Anger is normal, as are your dreams.....it just shows what a strong connection the mother daughter bond can really be!
....have a GORGEOUS DAY, SUNSHINE!!!!..........
