Ready To Conquer The Beast

my word for the day.....IRONIC, lol

Here's why. About 4 months ago McDonald's forgot to give us $2 worth of cookies. I called after we got home but husband had taken the car to work and even if he hadn't, I wasn't driving clear back across town. So they tell me unless I came back right then for cookies I PAID for I'd have to just give my name etc. and get some coupons for stuff in the mail. We never got the coupons even after several times of complaining.

So today after taking my husband to work I was starving...like so hungry I could gnaw your arm off. So I went to McDonald's to get 1 breakfast burrito and 1 hashbrown for 450cals.

But after re-starting this week with the first real effort in a year and a half, guess what day it is at McDonald's?

FREE FRIGGIN COOKIE DAY.​

Since when do they give away free anything unless its little tiny cup samples? Like I said....the irony. So I say yes after a moment's hesitation thinking its 1 free cookie and they're day old or something. Nope....its a 3 pack....fresh baked....in fact perfectly baked. Chances of normally getting fresh baked cookies at McDonald's are? Well this is the first time its happened to me, lol.

This isn't about the cookies being any big deal. I can HAVE a cookie if I want one. It's just the point that A) I'm tryin to get the most out of my calories every day so I'm not hungry and B) This kind of stuff never happens....till the week I start my diet? It also makes me stop and think about all the calories I was eating, not even thinking about it the last year. Frappes are over 600 cals a pop...one gal at my job trying to lose weight drinks two a day! And if I were to eat all 3 cookies mindlessly, thats 450 calories for all 3.

So end result, I am going to have a cookie...A cookie. I'm not going to get hung up in this forbidden food crap. But I am going to show some self control and luckily for me the dog thinks these cookies are pretty good too cuz she's eatin the other two :D Gosh....hope I'm not enabling the dog to get fat :X Have I mentioned how adorable shih tzu's are? She's the one in my avatar looking all pooped out, lol.
 
wow free cookie day!! Its like they were out to get ya hehe. I like your attitude about having one. One cookie is not going to kill you, you need to approach your diet from a sensible perspective.

I must admit, and this is just me being me, but I would not eat from McDonalds as I dont consider it to be food. My girlfriend loves McDonalds so this often results in us going through the drive thru and me not getting anything and then her smelling the car up with a big mac and fries. If I have a bad hangover I will force a big mac meal down my throat for soakage but unless I am hungover it never passes my lips, I never knew they did cookies... Burgerking on the other hand... oh my god I could live on double whoppers lol.. but I always feel like I need a sleep after one.

A year or two ago it would not be unusual for me to have fastfood once or twice a week. I remember watching a TV show on healthy eating and they said "there is nothing wrong with having a bigmac once a month" and I thought "shit ... once a month?!?". I made a decision to try eliminate them totally and I cant even remember the last time I had fastfood - probably a wendys at an airport a couple of months ago. I find that when I go to fast food places I add in things like onion rings or a sundae and suddenly I feel bloated.

Wow look I am rambling on your diary page now too... I cant help it lol sorry Lisa.

Just reading about your trips to the store and while its upsetting to think of you in pain trying to walk around it also shows great determination. Your point about when your body just cant take anymore is such an eye opener and I think that you realising that you are such a small amount of weight away from that which allowed you to function without too much trouble will be a great factor in motivating you to lose it. You yourself know that once you get that 20 lbs off you will have much better mobility, what incentive could be better than that?

Im gonna keep checking back on you :) uh oh you're on my list!
 
HI LISA!!!

Ok, first...I love your pup!! He's the cutest!!

I love your attitude towards the cookies. So many people get in this "no junk food" state of mind that when they do give in and have one, they throw up their hands and say "oh well...there goes today" and continue to endulge the rest of the day. I'm glad you enjoyed your cookie and didnt' let it derail you!
 
yep I agree! One cookie doesn't = 200lbs!!! hundreds and hundreds of cookies do!! The trick is everything in moderation - some people just can't handle this and would have eaten al three, but you did good.
 
Hey ForReal, I totally agree about the fastfood. There's very few things I even like now, but sometimes breakfast is one of them if I'm hungry enough. For health and financial reasons we've cut back on fast food alot around my house, but probably still not enough. Although we used to eat it 2x a day, every day. Just shows how out of control a life can get, not just in the eating but time management and learned behavior. But anyway I bought some of these great bob evans breakfast bowls at the store to get me through this week. They're not diet but the calories are still really good and its filling. They're hashbrowns and sausage gravy for only 360 calories. That's one of my weaknesses so finding it in a calorie controlled portion so to speak is awesome. Keeps me out of the restaurants, lol. I love breakfast food, lol.

Thanks Korrie :) And yea there's no "cheating" because I'm not on a diet. Just trying to over all make better choices and really keep the calories in line. Yea I'm trying to eat healthier but I'm already eating more balanced, and more fruit and veggies in a long time so I think so far its a success.

And thanks to you too jjjay. I've done that before, apologizing for every "wrong" food I put in my mouth. But I really think this past dieting mentality is what set me up to fail. If you set up stuff we can't have, eventually its going to wear us down. So this time nobody will hear apologies for my food. If I make changes it will be just me observing patterns and changing them to healthier ones but I am not going to put something "forbidden" under my nose and set myself up to fail. Was great the other day to just eat the dang cookie, factor it in and move on.

Although my husband and I did joke the other day as to whether we were enabling the dog to get fat. This one place we go to used to always gave her ice cream, and then me givin her stuff too. Pretty soon she may have to post her own weight loss thread here and complain how her owners just don't understand and sabotage her efforts...she's just tryin to go for a ride in the car for exercise and here comes McDonald's oatmeal cookies, lmao.
 
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I don't know if anyone else has this happen but this forum logs me out all the time, WHILE I'm typing stuff in a post. It does it way too often.

Anyway just wanted to add that I got on the scale and I've lost 2 more pounds :) I know I should wait till Friday but it's always motivating for me to see that weight coming off the first few weeks. I'll have to stop jumping on the scale so much when it slows down. My grandpa got me a scale last Christmas that goes up to 400lbs so its awesome and accurate. My old one would error out on me ;/ There's the drawback of doing something positive about being overweight...having to face up to all the negative facts, lol. Like yesterday I sat down at the dining table at work and a chair busted out from under me. If I was not in the progress of DOING something about my weight at the moment, I'd be a complete wreck over that. Was still upsetting to say the least but a reminder why I'm doing this.

So yea....got sidetracked but point is...YAY 2 MORE POUNDS GONE!
 
Just wanted to say Hi & YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!
It seems to me that figuring everything out at first is the hardest part, but once you get past that...it gets so much easier :)

One thing I remember from Weight Watchers (from a looooong time ago lol) is write out the meals and snacks you like, cals, and the portion sizes, then stick it on your fridge. It makes it so much faster when you're in a hurry trying to make meals/snacks. Not only that, it just means that all the time you spend figuring out portions and whatnot, is only being done once. That's one of my set backs. If it's not fast and easy, I'm not making it! lol. I know it doesn't make the actual 'figuring out' part any easier :p But it's just a thought! :)

Keep up the good work!! :)
 
LOL So I just read what I posted a couple days ago here...and you're probably wondering where the heck that all came from? Well, I'm a total tard and I was replying to something you posted on the 11th. lol *So embarassing*, the sh*t that I do sometimes... lol

Anyhow, I always get logged out from the forum too! wtf?!

I'm glad to see that even though you got a bit sidetracked you're still kicking ass and losing weight!! :) My weigh in day is on friday as well. The scale that I had was crap so I just go and use my parents scale lol. Keeps me from weighing myself too much though ;) I used to get to the point where I would weigh myself more then 5x a day, so I decided to not replace mine!

I'm curious as to what the brand of scale yours is? If you don't mine me asking...? I know that the scale my parents have is also crap lol, so it would be nice to have one that is accurate!

I hope you've had a good week so far!! ttys :)
 
Hey Sugarplump, sorry for not responding. And no you're not a tard! Just every time I sat down at the computer this week after reading your post I got interrupted and never got time to reply to anyone. Been having some monster headaches this week too, probably allergies, so hard to focus as well.

I really appreciate all your encouragement as far as "kicking ass". For the longest time I couldn't figure out how to win this, why I'd repeatedly start out so strong and enthusiastic, only to get derailed and give up time after time. After joining this forum originally I've learned ALOT.

It was really hard for me to give up some of my "diet mentality" ways of thinking, it was scary. I'd go into it with this all or nothing attitude and over restrict my calories thinking I had to starve to lose weight. And also I finally realized I had to STOP making foods "bad" or "forbidden". Now if I want something I don't sit there agonizing over it ,thinking about it, and letting it take all my focus. I don't eat an extra zillion calories of "healthy" food in place of it only to give in and then feel guilty and beat myself up. If I really want something, like that cookie the other day, I know I can have it so now its a non issue. I have control over food now, instead of it over me which showed in the fact I chose to eat 1 cookie, not all 3. It was a choice, not a cheat :) I have to say it's such a relief to not be in this huge power struggle with food all the time and sit there thinking about it all day.

So now I focus on eating balanced and in moderation but there's nothing off limits. My main goal is to keep my calorie intake inline over all. And even then if I have one day I go over, no biggie. As long as its not a constant habit, it usually averages out with another day I wasn't all that hungry and ate under. I think by changing my way of thinking that this is actually more realistic long term and achievable.
 
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Wow. I have read ur post a couple times now and I love it! You're point of view is amazing, and I'd never thought about it that way before. What a big step, changing thought patterns is not easy..Good for you!! :) I am going to adopt this way of thinking because I had the same all or nothing attitude towards dieting and that sucked lol. After reading your post it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest! That just gave me the biggest surge of motivation!!! Thank you for sharing!! :)
 
So I just went to give you rep and it seems I'm having the same problem you were having earlier... I will try again later! Oh and thank you for letting me know the brand of your scale! :)
 
Sugarplumpfairy said:
Wow. I have read ur post a couple times now and I love it! You're point of view is amazing, and I'd never thought about it that way before. What a big step, changing thought patterns is not easy..Good for you!! :) I am going to adopt this way of thinking because I had the same all or nothing attitude towards dieting and that sucked lol. After reading your post it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest! That just gave me the biggest surge of motivation!!! Thank you for sharing!! :)
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Awesome! I'm so glad I helped some. That point of view, as I said, happened over time from talking to many of the very wise and successful people on this forum who talked to me all the time during my first diary and pointed stuff out. It was a journey for sure because I couldn't wrap my mind around it at first...I kept wanting to restrict my calories to 1200-1500 and have a long "no-no" list of foods. I don't know if you've checked yet but there's BMR calculators online to help you figure out what your basic metabolic rate is. When I keep my calorie intake around that and don't go too far under I lose the most weight. When I first tried this I weighed less of course but I could still eat 1950 to 2000 calories a day....that was inconceivable to me but the cravings and hunger were so friggin bad I tried it. There after I lost 4-5lbs a week. Sure made me pissed off at the diet industry...and doctors I've gone to over the years that just told me to not eat, lol.

My biggest problem right now is the exercise. It's frustrating because even at 280 I could still do half an hour a day easily. But the more you weigh, the more it only takes a bit more weight to seriously debilitate you. At least that's the case for me, I'm only 5 feet tall so you can imagine how much 350 is on me.

What really hit me was I was watching "Dance your ass off" for the first time other night, somebody at work had taped it on DVR. All the girls on there looked really big. Then during weigh in when I realized I weighed even more than the heaviest girl....yea what a douse of cold water in the face.
 
omg some doctors out there are such idiots...seriously...I was told by my ex-doctor that all I need to do is join jenny craig and start running. I looked at him and just said are you effing kidding me?? Needless to say, that was the last appointment I had with that guy! But I am so thankful for you, and everyone who has been helping me with the journey. I still would have been really struggling if it weren't for all of you :)

I know what you mean in regards to exercising , I used to be able to do so much more when I was at about 280. Now even just walking around the grocery store makes me tired. It definitely takes so much more out of me now even just doing 5-10m walks. But we have to start small, even if it is only 5 minutes...it will only get easier with time. I used to walk for 1 hour twice a day, but I remember the first time I went out for a walk back then...the first 5 minutes I thought I was going to keel over on the side of the road! lol I know it can be done, we just have to start small and not over do it :) Before we know it we are going to be the one's dancing our asses off :D
 
Sugarplumpfairy said:
I know what you mean in regards to exercising , I used to be able to do so much more when I was at about 280. Now even just walking around the grocery store makes me tired. It definitely takes so much more out of me now even just doing 5-10m walks. But we have to start small, even if it is only 5 minutes...it will only get easier with time. I used to walk for 1 hour twice a day, but I remember the first time I went out for a walk back then...the first 5 minutes I thought I was going to keel over on the side of the road! lol I know it can be done, we just have to start small and not over do it :) Before we know it we are going to be the one's dancing our asses off :D
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me too! I think I told you that I have to have a shopping cart to hold myself up just to make it around the store. And yea, I gain all my weight in my stomach so when I try to go for a walk at the end of 10 minutes all the weight in front is pulling on my back and making me almost double over.

But today (well yesterday now) I bit the bullet and started mowing the lawn. My husband kept putting it off intermittently saying he'd do it the next day, then it'd rain. So now its up past my waist but I finished over half....holding the lawn mower up at an angle most the way. I pushed myself but also made sure I timed it so my husband would get home while I was doing it, feel guilty and help, lol. I felt really good after. So you're right :) If I just start I'll get back to bein able to do a half hour again and more.
 
ehe it sounds like your lawn turned into the Brazilian rain forest. Not only did it keep raining but it grew 10 feet high. At least you got some of it done. Its always way more work then it sounds and looks. Nice work!
 
size32someday said:
ehe it sounds like your lawn turned into the Brazilian rain forest. Not only did it keep raining but it grew 10 feet high. At least you got some of it done. Its always way more work then it sounds and looks. Nice work!
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That's what happens when it gets mowed once during the spring :X
 
So today was weigh in day :) and WOOT another 4.8 pounds lost...for a total of 10.4 in two weeks. My first goal is to get back under 300lbs...at this rate that'll take about 2 months, if I'm lucky, lol.
 
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Awesome!! Good for you on both your weight loss and cutting the grass!!! I love how you timed cutting the grass....LOLOL awesome! hahahaha! If I had a lawn to cut I would do the same thing ;) Bry is such a procrastinator...wweellll...so am I lol ANYway, Good for you! I still have to weigh in today, but not till later.

That is a great goal - to get under 300lbs -That is what I am focusing on as well! :) At the rate you're going to will be there in no time! :)
 
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