On my way to 63kgs

Are you off on hols?!?! I don't think I've EVER seen you not post for 3 days in a row?!?!!

Come back!!! We miss you!
 
Thanks Jay:)
Sorry I haven't been reporting in. I've just been feeling a bit sorry for myself this week. I'm worried about my dad as I suspect that he might have alzheimers. He is having difficulty even finding his way to the bathroom and working out what he has to do when I put food, drink and some pills in front of him. He also comes out with really strange things like asking where he has to buy the 4 train tickets to go to bed when he actually meant that he wanted his 4 pills. Senility is to be expected with Parkinsons but this seems a bit extreme. We have an appointment next week with his neurologist so I will see what she has to say about it. It will probably mean a change of pills which always causes bad reactions, hallucinations etc until they get the dosage right. Also Dad has started to fall over a lot so he can't really be left on his own at all now unless we know that he will stay in his seat.
I've also been feeling sad as I have got my VCR linked up to my computer so that I can copy all my old home videos and as I was testing it I put in a random video and the first thing I heard was my mum's voice and saw her lovely smiling face. I haven't been able to let myself even look at her photos properly and it was such a shock that seems to have knocked me right back to how I was last year when we lost her. I will have to try and get to the gym and run it out of my system but my daughter has gone away for a few days so I am mostly stuck at home. Time to get the Wii out I think. :)
Well, thanks for listening and it helped to get that out of my system. Sorry for abandoning you all and I will catch up with your diaries as soon as I feel a bit more like my happy self. xx

ETA - just read flumes' post and realized that I should stop feeling sorry for myself and be here to support my online friends. I promise to catch up with diaries later today.
 
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I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Alzheimers is such a cruel disease, and it's so hard to watch someone you love suffer from it. My maternal grandmother has it and for a number of years my mother took care of her when it wasn't so advanced. But she also works full time and cares for 2 of my nieces now aged 11 and 9. When it began to be unsafe for my grandmother to spend any time alone she moved in with my aunt who had decided it was time to retire from her nursing career. She's been with her for a little over a year now. At first she constantly asked to go home and was sometimes confused about why she couldn't. Now the alzheimers has gotten so bad that when she came back to her home (where my mother still lives) for a visit recently, she didn't even know where she was most of the time. It breaks my heart to see her like she is now. She always has this confused and scared look on her face, like she's completely lost and has no idea how to find her way back again. She has reverted and now acts like a shy 6 year old little girl. It's getting more and more difficult for my aunt to even care for her at home, and she's a professional. Everyone is dreading having to make the decision to finally put her in a rest home one of these days.

Please remember to look after yourself as you care for your dad. I sometimes think alzheimers (and other ailments of old age, etc.) are harder on the caretakers than on the individual themselves.

Hope you're feeling back to your usual self real soon! :grouphug:
 
Really sorry to hear about your dad and that you've been having a rough time generally Val. I know it can put a huge strain on the people who care for someone both with Parkinsons and now..this other issue...and all the time you worry about the person - quite naturally, without thinking about the impact on you and the other close family.

Grieving is such a difficult thing to predict as well - I remember when my uncle died (he was the closest thing I had to a father when growing up before my mother met my stepdad when I was 12), I avoided going to his house for a couple of years just because if I did, it brought the reality home that he wasn't there any more. One day looking at the pictures of your mum will bring back more good feelings and warm memories than sadness - don't get me wrong, there will ALWAYS be sadness, but they'll become something to cherish rather than avoid. Does that make any sense? But for now, this is all part of going through the loss - the feeling that you were doing ok recently but now have been knocked back to feeling like you did a year ago. Let yourself feel like it - its completely natural. And come here to vent about it if it helps.

Lots and lots of hugs...
 
Thanks Jay and Tig, I just don't feel like myself at the moment. I'm finding it hard to even motivate myself to get off the sofa. I'm sure it will pass soon as it just isn't like me but thanks for your support and understanding. I've got 12 people for lunch tomorrow so will have to start moving soon:) Not really looking forward to it, even though I love having people round, but they are friends of my husbands and at least 4 are french and don't speak english or spanish and my french is very bad. I'm also not comfortable cooking for people that I don't know well especially french that are famous for their cooking skills. Well that's enough of my whining for today :)
The weather is starting to cool which means that exercising should be much easier. Can't wait until October when my sister and friends finish work and I start my 'boot camp' for us all. I've got a TV out on the terrace so the neighbours are going to be entertained with us all outside doing our Wii Just Dance. I hope nobody has a video camera or we could all end up laughing stocks on youtube. :D
I've got a friend in England that has been through lots of tragedy in her life and is extremely overweight and depressed. She has just told me that she started a diet a couple of weeks ago as she was inspired by my health kick and has lost 11 lbs. She sounded happier and more optimistic than I have heard her in years. She has also started to exercise and her overweight son and husband have joined in on the healthy eating and fitness. I love the way this all spreads to people that you know and she hasn't even seen me since I've lost weight. :D
 
Hi Val, I'm sorry that you are feeling a little down at the moment. It's understandable though & hopefully it will pass soon. It's ok to grieve over your mum & is much better than holding it in. It is really sad to see your parent's mind deteriorate. It's happening with my mum & she is such a long way away & living at home on her own. You do such a great job looking after your dad & must be so strong. I, for one, admire you for it.
I'm sure your dinner will go well. We used to be part-owners in a restaurant & I used to agonise over what to serve to any of the chef's when they came to our home. They loved being invited & enjoyed anything that we served up. It's all about the company!
Hope you pick up soon. I'm sending you a big hug from Tasmania, xoxo Cate
 
Thanks Cate xx
The lunch went wonderfully yesterday. My son came as well with his fiance and a friend and the food went very well. I overdid the eating a bit as there were 3 desserts including my favourite chocolate brownies but I was too busy to have breakfast and didn't eat in the evening so it was just the one meal. We made fideua which is similar to paella but with pasta and it turned out really well.
I have finally lost a kilo :D I don't really understand it as the only exercise I did last week was walking a couple of times. I haven't lost any weight for about 2 months and then when I finally relax and lose a kg. I won't adjust my chart as I put on a kg about a month and a half ago and never did change it.
 
Aww Val,

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling out of sorts. I think it's totally natural every now and then, we can't always be towers of strength. The paella dish using pasta sounds delicious...whenever I go to Spain I always hunt down a great local restaurant for some traditional paella. Yummy!!!

I hope that you start to feel better soon and that the lack of French fluency wasn't too awkward hehe. Speak soon x
 
Just checking in to see how your doing since I haven't had time to for a few days. I hope things are going well for you.

Enjoy your day!
 
Slimpip is right: we can't always be towers of strength. I'm sure you'll be back on track in no time! You have accomplished so much already, don't let a little bump in the road stop you.

Hugs!

Laele
 
Hi Eycky!

Hope your doin ok.

Sorry to hear about you Dad. My wife's mom has alzheimers...it'll be 12 years this year. Its very sad. I hope you find the strength to help him as best you can.

Again...hope you are doin ok. Somber times here for me but I'm hangin in there.


Take care
 
Thanks all, I'm feeling a bit better about things now. I took my dad to the neurologist and she said that he has normal dementia caused by the parkinsons and not alzheimers and has given him some patches to put on that she says often have good results for confusion.
I really need to get back to the gym. I haven't been able to because of various things going on in my life that I won't bore you with but I have now got out of the habit. One of my nephews is joining the gym next weeks so hopefully I will start going with him. My husband has already arranged for us to go with him on Monday so that will be a good start. My eating hasn't been too bad so no damage has been done so I hope that starting to exercise hard again will give my weight loss a real kick start again.
I did plan on running 8 km before the end of September and have only done 7kms so far so need to get cracking on that.
I'll go and catch up with a few diaries now :)
 
Just stopping by to send healthy vibes! Hope you're doing okay and still working hard. I'm not working as hard as I could be right now and feel I've lost some of my drive and motivation so I can def relate. Keep going <3
 
Thanks I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself now. Should be back to normal by next week. :D
Sunflower said:
Just stopping by to send healthy vibes! Hope you're doing okay and still working hard. I'm not working as hard as I could be right now and feel I've lost some of my drive and motivation so I can def relate. Keep going <3
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