My weight loss journey

sad_girl

sad_girl

New member
Hi, everyone. I am new here and generally new to this kind of stuff, but I need to share my feelings and struggles somewhere and also my plans and hopes :) .
I am 25 years old and I've struggled with weight almost my whole life. Even though I had maybe 5-10 kg (11-22 lbs) to lose, in my mind I was a whale and it stopped to do a lot of stuff in my life. For example, I didn't go to my prom because I thought I was too fat to go and that people would stare and laugh at me.
But in the last year, things got out of control. During the quarantine, I was living with my boyfriend and his parents, I was far away from my parents and that situation and isolation was really hard on me. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions and difficult situations, so I ate and drank a lot, almost every day. I've gained so much weight, none of my clothes fit anymore, and I mean literally none. I am too afraid to step on a scale and I probably won't do in in the near future. I can't go anywhere (I am working from home) because I am too embarrassed and I don't have anything to wear and don't want to go and buy fat clothes. I feel awful in my skin, so uncomfortable I sometimes want to bang my head against the wall. Even though all of those difficult situations are solved, we moved out, I found a job, I have only 2 exams to finish college, I can't seem to motivate myself to change those things I hate. I've started a million times and didn't succeed.
And today, I started again and decided to share my story here. I've decided to count calories, take walks and try to be mentally strong and finally start living a life. I don't won't to spend my life hiding my body. But first of all, I have to try to change myself and start loving myself. I am sick of this "my weight defines me" attitude.
So, in conclusion, day 1. :)
Thank you for your time, any advice and feedback are welcome.
P.S.
Sorry for my English.
 
Hi SG and welcome to the forum! First off: don't worry about your English. It's excellent and even if it wasn't it wouldn't matter here. Second: congratulations on hitting so many milestones in a short period of time! It sounds like all of those things combined were quite stressful and you got used to using food for comfort and relaxation. So whatever your healthy eating plan is make sure it includes a strategy to still feel safe, comfortable, and relaxed. Baths, walks, therapy, yoga... Whatever might give you the things food has been giving you.
Looking forward to following along with your journey!
 
Hey Girl, don't be sad, you are off to a great start! Welcome.

I think you will find lots of friendly helpful people here, and your English matters little just so we can understand you. And I agree with LaMa, your English appears quite good to me. We have a lot of members who do not speak English as a first language, some know English better than others, but it really doesn't matter.
sad_girl said:
I am 25 years old and I've struggled with weight almost my whole life.
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I could say the same, except that I am a whole lot older than you! You are indeed wise to be working on this now, I wish I had been as wise...
sad_girl said:
Even though I had maybe 5-10 kg (11-22 lbs) to lose, in my mind I was a whale and it stopped to do a lot of stuff in my life.
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Yes, I understand that. I felt the same much of my life. I try now to ignore my body image and just do what I want. I have managed to lose some weight, my problem now is that I am old and wrinkled... We all judge our own appearance too severely. I am sure you look fine, you may need to lose a few pounds, but I suspect most people find your appearance nice, nicer than you do yourself.

Keep on posting your progress, it will help you, it has me. Best of luck to you!
 
alligatorob said:
Hey Girl, don't be sad, you are off to a great start! Welcome.

I think you will find lots of friendly helpful people here, and your English matters little just so we can understand you. And I agree with LaMa, your English appears quite good to me. We have a lot of members who do not speak English as a first language, some know English better than others, but it really doesn't matter.

I could say the same, except that I am a whole lot older than you! You are indeed wise to be working on this now, I wish I had been as wise...

Yes, I understand that. I felt the same much of my life. I try now to ignore my body image and just do what I want. I have managed to lose some weight, my problem now is that I am old and wrinkled... We all judge our own appearance too severely. I am sure you look fine, you may need to lose a few pounds, but I suspect most people find your appearance nice, nicer than you do yourself.

Keep on posting your progress, it will help you, it has me. Best of luck to you!
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Thank you very much for kind words. I can't express enough how much this means to me. I hope I will be as successful as you. :)
 
LaMaria said:
Careful what you wish for: this man has lost half his bodyweight! His diary is well worth reading, or at least skimming (some of us have been here for long enough that nobody would expect you to read all of our histories...).
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Yeah, I've looked your diaries and I definitely need to find time to read them all, they seem very helpful. I started to read Rob's diary and was on page 6 out of 186 and was like, ok, I'll need a lot more time to read this than I thought. :D
 
Day 1:
  • Breakfast:
    • 2 scrambled eggs: 200 kcal
    • smoked pork loin: 70 kcal
    • yogurt (Balkan style): 100 kcal
  • Lunch + Diner:
    • chicken: 300 kcal
    • gouda cheese: 150 kcal
    • yogurt: 150 kcal
Total: 970 kcal

I know this is maybe too little calories, but I only have 2 meals a day, so do I need to increase total calories a day?
 
970 Calories will probably be too low to be sustainable, but everyone's caloric needs are a bit different. We can get a better idea if we know your height & weight.
 
My height is 163 cm (5'5"). I am not sure about my weight, I didn't step on a scale for a while, I think it could be even 90kg (200lbs), maybe even higher than that.
 
So a 25 year old woman 163cm tall weighing 90kg needs about 1950 Calories to maintain her weight when sedentary. Eating 970 calories - about a 1,000 calorie deficit - would result in about 1 kg lost per week. This is the at very high end of the general recommendation to lose no more than 0.5-1kg per week.

If you're doing any exercise at all you'll need more calories (roughly 100 extra calories for every 30 minutes you walk).

One of the risks of eating too few calories is that after a few days of severe restriction many people wind up binge eating and undoing all of their work. So it is often better to eat a bit more all along to prevent that from happening.

Overall I think you're off to a great start, but I personally would add at least 250 calories worth of vegetables to keep you from feeling hungry and to ensure your body is getting a good amount of nutrients.
 
Thank you for that information. I will try to increase calories a bit.

Overall I think you're off to a great start, but I personally would add at least 250 calories worth of vegetables to keep you from feeling hungry and to ensure your body is getting a good amount of nutrients.
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Yeah, the problem with that is that I don't eat vegetables. I could never eat them, my body just can't process it.
 
Agreed about the calorie and veg recommendations. It's a lot easier to stay full if you're having at least some. Maybe at least some fruit or starchy tubers? What exactly is the problem with your digestion (if you don't mind going into detail; we're anonymous here!), depending on the issue different plant foods or prep methods might be easier on your system. If you can't have any I hope you're under medical supervision for appropriate nutrition supplements.
 
Err2 said:
Oof that's rough. Does that also hold true for the more digestible low fodmap / low insoluble fiber fruits & veggies?
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Yeah, I can eat some of the food listed here, like fruit, peanuts, sunflower seeds.

LaMaria said:
Agreed about the calorie and veg recommendations. It's a lot easier to stay full if you're having at least some. Maybe at least some fruit or starchy tubers?
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I can eat fruit and some vegetables like potatoes for example.

LaMaria said:
What exactly is the problem with your digestion (if you don't mind going into detail; we're anonymous here!), depending on the issue different plant foods or prep methods might be easier on your system. If you can't have any I hope you're under medical supervision for appropriate nutrition supplements.
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I can't stand the taste, the texture and I throw up. I recently decided to try lettuce again and it tasted like dirt to me. I think it's genetic because my father has the same issue (Some people 'genetically wired' to avoid some vegetables). We never had any health problems and we also have very good immune system. I wasn't sick in years, literally. Last year my boyfriend had covid and I was in isolation with him and I didn't catch it.
 
So, this morning I got up early and went on an hour walk, it feels great. :hurray:

Also, just can't step on a scale, I am not there yet, so I decided to take measurements. So, this morning:
  • waist: 96cm (37.8 inches)
  • lower abdomen area: 115 cm (45.27 inches)
  • butt: 122 cm(48 inches)
 
sad_girl said:
I can't stand the taste, the texture and I throw up. I recently decided to try lettuce again and it tasted like dirt to me. I think it's genetic because my father has the same issue (Some people 'genetically wired' to avoid some vegetables). We never had any health problems and we also have very good immune system. I wasn't sick in years, literally. Last year my boyfriend had covid and I was in isolation with him and I didn't catch it.
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As long as you´re keeping an eye on it I won´t nag. Thankfully nobody can make you eat veggies against your will :)
Yay on that morning walk!
 
Today was my second day and it was pretty good. I already said about my morning walk. Also, I've felt a little discouraged when I think of how much work I have to do and how much time it will probably take. I guess I had too much free time.

I've added a little mayo in my launch/dinner to increase my calories to be above 1000, but I don't know if this is good practice, maybe to add some bread? Also, I was wondering if someone was tracking their progress with taking measurements, I am not sure how often should I measure myself. I saw somewhere that 1kg is 0.55-1.1 cm in waist, so if that is true, to see some progress I'll need to measure myself once every month and it seems like a long period.

Day 2:
  • Breakfast
    • 2 hard boiled eggs: 180 kcal
    • smoked pork loin: 125 kcal
    • sour cream: 100 kcal
  • Launch + Dinner
    • soup: 278 kcal
    • chicken: 200 kcal
    • yogurt: 100 kcal
    • mayonnaise: 100 kcal
Total: 1083 kcal
 
I started exercising with a new bike. At the time I thought it was about all I could do, and it was a great start. Now I do a lot of other things, but still ride from time to time. A bike is not just exercise, but fun.

When I started dieting I did not like veggies or lettuce much. However I have learned to, maybe you can. One advantage to veggies is you can eat more for fewer calories, easier to fill up. You might start by trying something like riced cauliflower, looks like rice, acts like rice under a sauce, but with about 25% of the calories. Note I did not mention taste, but neither rice nor cauliflower have a lot of flavor, under a flavorful sauce the difference may be less than you expect.

I was on a diet that averaged less than 1,000 calories per day for over a year. I did it under a doctor's supervision. It worked for weight loss, however I am not sure it was the right thing to do. I think its possible I could have lost weight almost as fast on a few more calories. And the problem with the ultralow calorie diet is the transition to maintenance. I think the low calories made it harder. Err has lost more weight than I while eating a lot more calories. At least some of that is his impressive exercising and he is younger than I. You are younger than Err, I believe young people burn more calories than us old folks. Point is there is more than one way to do this; you just have to experiment a bit and see what works best for you.

And I have to say I am impressed so far, you are off to a great start and show real commitment to this. I know you can do it!
 
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