Omega
Moderator
Hi Rae
Congratulations on the new clothes size and the brilliant new jeans. It is wonderful when we get to a clothes size that we aspire towards.
I have a theory about your mother's attitude. You have to put the situation into context and remember that your mother will have heard much publicity of the concept that some people diet too much and end up with some major body image difficulties and anorexia. Now I am not saying that people that have lost a lot of weight dont end up with some body image difficulties (it often seems to tend to lead to a feeling of uncertainty about our bodies) but we certainly dont all end up with anorexia. Now we weigh ourselves and are more aware of our BMI that most people and we know what the healthy BMI range is and where we sit on that range. We do all this and it brings some sort of science to whether we need to lose more weight or not.
Your mother just looks at you and sees you as a lot slimmer than you were. An awful lot slimmer. Your clothes size is SMALL - you are slim. She probably doesnt know anyone's BMI she just sees you as thin and she worries about you.
Also - we have all been big and know how easy it is to think of ourselves as not as big as all that. It is an attitude that kept us all sane during those years at our biggest. She is a larger lady - and you have mentioned that your father and sister are on the big size too. She thinks the way that we used to and thinks that they are not as big as they are. In comparison you are so much smaller. Again - she concludes that you are too thin and she worries.
As Kimberly said people can see large people as normal and normal people as skinny. I suppose then slim people are seen as anorexic.
You are right - they will only tackle their size when the time is right for them. It is just like my husband. When the motivation comes from within - people can get somewhere. Until that time - any attempt is half-hearted and rarely gets anywhere.
Since you are clearly interested - if that situation happens again and he says that he doesnt do well approaching the women that he is interested in - say straight away something along the lines of it being a shame because he might miss out on something special if the woman is waiting for him to speak. He might have said it hoping for some sort of signal from you that you would not be angered or upset by some sort of overture. He will be apprehensive of spoiling a good friendship too. If you want something to happen - it's time to start giving out some green light signals when opportunities like that come along!
Take care
Love
Margaret
Congratulations on the new clothes size and the brilliant new jeans. It is wonderful when we get to a clothes size that we aspire towards.
I have a theory about your mother's attitude. You have to put the situation into context and remember that your mother will have heard much publicity of the concept that some people diet too much and end up with some major body image difficulties and anorexia. Now I am not saying that people that have lost a lot of weight dont end up with some body image difficulties (it often seems to tend to lead to a feeling of uncertainty about our bodies) but we certainly dont all end up with anorexia. Now we weigh ourselves and are more aware of our BMI that most people and we know what the healthy BMI range is and where we sit on that range. We do all this and it brings some sort of science to whether we need to lose more weight or not.
Your mother just looks at you and sees you as a lot slimmer than you were. An awful lot slimmer. Your clothes size is SMALL - you are slim. She probably doesnt know anyone's BMI she just sees you as thin and she worries about you.
Also - we have all been big and know how easy it is to think of ourselves as not as big as all that. It is an attitude that kept us all sane during those years at our biggest. She is a larger lady - and you have mentioned that your father and sister are on the big size too. She thinks the way that we used to and thinks that they are not as big as they are. In comparison you are so much smaller. Again - she concludes that you are too thin and she worries.
As Kimberly said people can see large people as normal and normal people as skinny. I suppose then slim people are seen as anorexic.
You are right - they will only tackle their size when the time is right for them. It is just like my husband. When the motivation comes from within - people can get somewhere. Until that time - any attempt is half-hearted and rarely gets anywhere.
Since you are clearly interested - if that situation happens again and he says that he doesnt do well approaching the women that he is interested in - say straight away something along the lines of it being a shame because he might miss out on something special if the woman is waiting for him to speak. He might have said it hoping for some sort of signal from you that you would not be angered or upset by some sort of overture. He will be apprehensive of spoiling a good friendship too. If you want something to happen - it's time to start giving out some green light signals when opportunities like that come along!
Take care
Love
Margaret
Aaahhh...I've ALMOST forgotten how much fun that is. 
Enjoy it! Once you're married, there will be no more of it. 
