MasterofJune's Diary *There is no spoon*
- Thread starter MasterofJune
- Start date
MoonGoddess
New member
Thats awesome.... no need to question, just keep getting the healthy habits to stick! Good luck on losing even more.
CrunkChipmunk
New member
Good work June.
LOL, calling you June I feel like Johnny Cash all of a sudden or at least Joaquin Phoenix as him in Walk the Line.
Though I think we'd all agree you are much prettier than Reese Witherspoon Dan.
LOL, calling you June I feel like Johnny Cash all of a sudden or at least Joaquin Phoenix as him in Walk the Line.
Though I think we'd all agree you are much prettier than Reese Witherspoon Dan.
4.5 Wonderful.
I just want to say you are doing a great job, and your attitude about food has changed greatly. I know I don't have the will power yet to tackle my food demons.
What is best of all is you are starting to effect those around you, especially the kids you teach, you are a wonderful role model. Keep it up.
I have also been people watching, and I know what you are saying. I live next to a school and I am surprised at how many over-weight kids there are. I look back to when I was in school, and there was only a few (me included). Now a days it seems like 2 out of five have some sort of weight problem. It makes me sad.
I just want to say you are doing a great job, and your attitude about food has changed greatly. I know I don't have the will power yet to tackle my food demons.
What is best of all is you are starting to effect those around you, especially the kids you teach, you are a wonderful role model. Keep it up.
I have also been people watching, and I know what you are saying. I live next to a school and I am surprised at how many over-weight kids there are. I look back to when I was in school, and there was only a few (me included). Now a days it seems like 2 out of five have some sort of weight problem. It makes me sad.
MasterofJune
New member
Felici - It feels really strange how fast it's coming off of me. I just hope that I am doing everything the right way, and the loss like this will continue for another few weeks, so I can leave the 300+ club sooner than expected. *Yeah, I'm just a loss machine, and I won't work for nobody but you*
Steve - That is the first time that anyone has ever told me that I was prettier than Reese Witherspoon. Ever since "Election", she lost all her cuteness in my book.
MoonGodess - I just hope I am not going about this the wrong way. The habits have already formed. I just need my body to catch up to my mind.
plumpDad - Thanks for the kind words my brother. My attitude is changing about food everyday, and yours will too. It took me starting this thing in June to get me to where I feel about food now. It's really really hard to get there, but when you do something will just click.
Thanks for your support everyone...
Steve - That is the first time that anyone has ever told me that I was prettier than Reese Witherspoon. Ever since "Election", she lost all her cuteness in my book.
MoonGodess - I just hope I am not going about this the wrong way. The habits have already formed. I just need my body to catch up to my mind.
plumpDad - Thanks for the kind words my brother. My attitude is changing about food everyday, and yours will too. It took me starting this thing in June to get me to where I feel about food now. It's really really hard to get there, but when you do something will just click.
Thanks for your support everyone...
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MasterofJune
New member
Update time...
After a bad week, I am still prevailing. I weigh in again next Tuesday, and I just hope that the weight keeps slipping off.
My body is now a shell of what I was. This is the hardest thing to date that I have to do, and that is let my body catch up to my mind.
Upon reflection of this, and finding the meaning inside I have come up with something.
My body is here as a reminder. It is a reminder of what I have let myself do over the past 27 years. If we were to see instant results, we wouldn't make it. Every time I look in the mirror I get pissed off. I want to break free of this so badly, but I also consume this feeling like I consumed that pumpkin pie last thanksgiving.
It is my fuel.
It is my fire.
At the end of this journey which I have started, I will be the better for the pain I have endured. Not only the pain I need to face everyday while doing this, but the pain of 27 years of misery. Without the pain, there is no need for life.
Let me delve into this a little deeper.
I was raised a good Christian boy, and I was told one time that when we die and go to heaven there will be no pain and no crying. There will be nothing but bliss everlasting.
Is this heaven we are talking about here? It sounds more like a hell.
If I don't have the pain with me, then who am I? If I can't feel pain, then what is the point of life? I take everything this life deals me now with thanks and appreciation for being a human. Without pain, how can we enjoy love or happiness? I don't want to be a drone. I don't want to go through this life without having pain. Pain makes life's sweet moments that much more enjoyable. Pain keeps us in check. Pain makes us appreciate.
It's a swift kick to the head sometimes, and it drags us down for a moment, but it also forces us to think of the good times. At the end of the day, I thank god for giving me pain.
This may sound insane, but It's how I feel. I am sure that some of you are going to disagree, but just take this in for a moment.
I am appreciative for being obese. It has contributed to who I am. That will never change. No matter what, I will always be part obese inside. That comforts me.
When I am riding a roller coaster, or sitting in a restaurant booth, or running the bases on the softball field, I will do this with appreciation. I will never take these things for granted like so many have. I will jump from an airplane one day. I will buy clothes at Target. I will ride a skateboard. I will ride a bike without the tires giving under my weight. I will ride a horse in a field.
I will do these things
I will appreciate where I came from.
I will enjoy them a little more because of it.
Hold fast to your pain, and never let it out of your sight. Always remember the tough times, because you will appreciate the good times.
Peace to you all.
After a bad week, I am still prevailing. I weigh in again next Tuesday, and I just hope that the weight keeps slipping off.
My body is now a shell of what I was. This is the hardest thing to date that I have to do, and that is let my body catch up to my mind.
Upon reflection of this, and finding the meaning inside I have come up with something.
My body is here as a reminder. It is a reminder of what I have let myself do over the past 27 years. If we were to see instant results, we wouldn't make it. Every time I look in the mirror I get pissed off. I want to break free of this so badly, but I also consume this feeling like I consumed that pumpkin pie last thanksgiving.
It is my fuel.
It is my fire.
At the end of this journey which I have started, I will be the better for the pain I have endured. Not only the pain I need to face everyday while doing this, but the pain of 27 years of misery. Without the pain, there is no need for life.
Let me delve into this a little deeper.
I was raised a good Christian boy, and I was told one time that when we die and go to heaven there will be no pain and no crying. There will be nothing but bliss everlasting.
Is this heaven we are talking about here? It sounds more like a hell.
If I don't have the pain with me, then who am I? If I can't feel pain, then what is the point of life? I take everything this life deals me now with thanks and appreciation for being a human. Without pain, how can we enjoy love or happiness? I don't want to be a drone. I don't want to go through this life without having pain. Pain makes life's sweet moments that much more enjoyable. Pain keeps us in check. Pain makes us appreciate.
It's a swift kick to the head sometimes, and it drags us down for a moment, but it also forces us to think of the good times. At the end of the day, I thank god for giving me pain.
This may sound insane, but It's how I feel. I am sure that some of you are going to disagree, but just take this in for a moment.
I am appreciative for being obese. It has contributed to who I am. That will never change. No matter what, I will always be part obese inside. That comforts me.
When I am riding a roller coaster, or sitting in a restaurant booth, or running the bases on the softball field, I will do this with appreciation. I will never take these things for granted like so many have. I will jump from an airplane one day. I will buy clothes at Target. I will ride a skateboard. I will ride a bike without the tires giving under my weight. I will ride a horse in a field.
I will do these things
I will appreciate where I came from.
I will enjoy them a little more because of it.
Hold fast to your pain, and never let it out of your sight. Always remember the tough times, because you will appreciate the good times.
Peace to you all.
bikinibound
New member
Hi Dan! Congrats on the continued weight loss!!
The great thing is that even when things are tough, you perservere and stick to your plan.
*Yeah, I'm just a loss machine, and I won't work for nobody but you*
Haha! This is one of the songs they play at my gym all the time...lol
And Steve you are hilarious saying Dan is cuter than Reese Witherspoon..lmbo
I think he is, too. I'm more into men than women...lol.
I agree that if life were just a bed of roses we would just take it for granted and not appreciate the good things in life. Also, we grow more from dealing with pain and loss and adversity than we do when life is grand.
The great thing is that even when things are tough, you perservere and stick to your plan.*Yeah, I'm just a loss machine, and I won't work for nobody but you*
Haha! This is one of the songs they play at my gym all the time...lol
And Steve you are hilarious saying Dan is cuter than Reese Witherspoon..lmbo
I think he is, too. I'm more into men than women...lol.I agree that if life were just a bed of roses we would just take it for granted and not appreciate the good things in life. Also, we grow more from dealing with pain and loss and adversity than we do when life is grand.
felici
Well-known member
This is fantastic!! This passion will bring you the change you want and need, and as you say, the hardship that comes with it has magic benefits.
It is exciting to know that you are sooo going to make this happen!
CrunkChipmunk
New member
"If I don't have the pain with me, then who am I? If I can't feel pain, then what is the point of life? I take everything this life deals me now with thanks and appreciation for being a human. Without pain, how can we enjoy love or happiness? I don't want to be a drone. I don't want to go through this life without having pain. Pain makes life's sweet moments that much more enjoyable. Pain keeps us in check. Pain makes us appreciate.
It's a swift kick to the head sometimes, and it drags us down for a moment, but it also forces us to think of the good times. At the end of the day, I thank god for giving me pain."
You know Crow City of Angels wasn't as good as the first one in my estimation but it had one good quote that sums up your mindset Dan and I agree with it.
"Pain is my power"
Pain is our great motivator. When you reach a point you can no longer stand your situation the only thing you can do is look up from the gutter you are in and begin crawling your way out.
Eventually the crawl becomes a walk, then the walk becomes a run and then one day you are at the finish line.
"This may sound insane, but It's how I feel. I am sure that some of you are going to disagree, but just take this in for a moment.
I am appreciative for being obese. It has contributed to who I am. That will never change. No matter what, I will always be part obese inside. That comforts me.
When I am riding a roller coaster, or sitting in a restaurant booth, or running the bases on the softball field, I will do this with appreciation. I will never take these things for granted like so many have. I will jump from an airplane one day. I will buy clothes at Target. I will ride a skateboard. I will ride a bike without the tires giving under my weight. I will ride a horse in a field.
I will do these things
I will appreciate where I came from.
I will enjoy them a little more because of it.
Hold fast to your pain, and never let it out of your sight. Always remember the tough times, because you will appreciate the good times.
Peace to you all."
Peace to you Dan and if ever I make it to my goal I will remain a good person that cares for others and not change for the worse and I'll do my best as I'm sure you will to be an inspiration to others here and elsewhere that they can do what we will do as well.
It has been my observation that so many obese people who lose the weight become arrogant and cocky as their form of revenge on society for treating them so harshly for so long.
While I understand that mindset and how it can be justified I will not share in it.
I will simply live at peace with the people I will finally blend in with and hopefully erase ignorance and hate from their minds about overweight people if ever a discussion like this should arise.
I think it was Ironman who said he was so much more than the weight he was yet people couldn't see it so he wanted to lose it so he could "just be John" well I want to lose mine so I can just be Steve and no longer be viewed as the fat guy and I'm sure you agree with this.
I'm getting back on the horse tomorrow once again with my hour of cardio and diet and I'll let you all know how it goes as I stated in my diary earlier.
Anyway...
To end on an amusing note Dan remember how you said you don't want to be people's jolly friend?
Well I do lol.
I just want to do it from a position of weighing 200lbs instead of 350lbs and I think put that way you would agree.
It's a swift kick to the head sometimes, and it drags us down for a moment, but it also forces us to think of the good times. At the end of the day, I thank god for giving me pain."
You know Crow City of Angels wasn't as good as the first one in my estimation but it had one good quote that sums up your mindset Dan and I agree with it.
"Pain is my power"
Pain is our great motivator. When you reach a point you can no longer stand your situation the only thing you can do is look up from the gutter you are in and begin crawling your way out.
Eventually the crawl becomes a walk, then the walk becomes a run and then one day you are at the finish line.
"This may sound insane, but It's how I feel. I am sure that some of you are going to disagree, but just take this in for a moment.
I am appreciative for being obese. It has contributed to who I am. That will never change. No matter what, I will always be part obese inside. That comforts me.
When I am riding a roller coaster, or sitting in a restaurant booth, or running the bases on the softball field, I will do this with appreciation. I will never take these things for granted like so many have. I will jump from an airplane one day. I will buy clothes at Target. I will ride a skateboard. I will ride a bike without the tires giving under my weight. I will ride a horse in a field.
I will do these things
I will appreciate where I came from.
I will enjoy them a little more because of it.
Hold fast to your pain, and never let it out of your sight. Always remember the tough times, because you will appreciate the good times.
Peace to you all."
Peace to you Dan and if ever I make it to my goal I will remain a good person that cares for others and not change for the worse and I'll do my best as I'm sure you will to be an inspiration to others here and elsewhere that they can do what we will do as well.
It has been my observation that so many obese people who lose the weight become arrogant and cocky as their form of revenge on society for treating them so harshly for so long.
While I understand that mindset and how it can be justified I will not share in it.
I will simply live at peace with the people I will finally blend in with and hopefully erase ignorance and hate from their minds about overweight people if ever a discussion like this should arise.
I think it was Ironman who said he was so much more than the weight he was yet people couldn't see it so he wanted to lose it so he could "just be John" well I want to lose mine so I can just be Steve and no longer be viewed as the fat guy and I'm sure you agree with this.
I'm getting back on the horse tomorrow once again with my hour of cardio and diet and I'll let you all know how it goes as I stated in my diary earlier.
Anyway...
To end on an amusing note Dan remember how you said you don't want to be people's jolly friend?
Well I do lol.
I just want to do it from a position of weighing 200lbs instead of 350lbs and I think put that way you would agree.
MasterofJune
New member
Update time, and I have nothing to report.
I have continued on with my lifestyle change, but have not yet stood on the scale. Something terrible happened this weekend, and while I am not going to go into details, it has derailed my exercise the past two days, and turned my life upside down.
This has been the ultimate test my friends.
I have made it through with my caloric intake (a little high yesterday), but oh my, what a terrible week so far. I hope that things improve.
I thank you all for the continued support.
D
I have continued on with my lifestyle change, but have not yet stood on the scale. Something terrible happened this weekend, and while I am not going to go into details, it has derailed my exercise the past two days, and turned my life upside down.
This has been the ultimate test my friends.
I have made it through with my caloric intake (a little high yesterday), but oh my, what a terrible week so far. I hope that things improve.
I thank you all for the continued support.
D
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MoonGoddess
New member
Not sure what is going on, but you are in my thoughts. Hang in there.
I know you aren't going to give up the fight. You have support here when you need it. Be strong & remember, sometimes you have to get through the thunderstorm to see those rainbows.
I know you aren't going to give up the fight. You have support here when you need it. Be strong & remember, sometimes you have to get through the thunderstorm to see those rainbows.
MasterofJune
New member
Update -
5 more pounds after weigh in this week!
I'll write more later.
Off to work.
5 more pounds after weigh in this week!
I'll write more later.
Off to work.
have a good day at work - hope your world is settling down...
Nice job on the 5lbs...
Nice job on the 5lbs...
bikinibound
New member
Hey MOJ! Nice job on the 5lbs!! You seem to have gone MIA on your Halloween Challenge team. I think they would love to see you check in and update your weight and bonus pts. You did sign up for it, and it only takes a few minutes.
CrunkChipmunk
New member
Massive congrats on the 5lbs down Dan.
And I am truly sorry about whatever bad has happend to you bro.
I'm only a PM box away if you need to vent that stuff confidentially but in any case hang in there we're all rooting for you.
And I am truly sorry about whatever bad has happend to you bro.
I'm only a PM box away if you need to vent that stuff confidentially but in any case hang in there we're all rooting for you.
felici
Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear that you're having a terrible time. I'm glad you're hanging in there with your eating, and still losing massively (!!) because a slimmer you will deal better with whatever else is thrown at you, both now and when you're even slimmer.
Good on you for sticking with it. I hope whatever situation you're dealing with is resolving and will improve for you asap.
Good on you for sticking with it. I hope whatever situation you're dealing with is resolving and will improve for you asap.
MasterofJune
New member
Thanks for the positive words everyone.
Unfortunately, with everything that is going on, I have been forcing myself to eat, and try not to knock my caloric intake too far down. I have been lucky just to eat around 1000 cals a day, just to try to prevent a complete shut down of energy.
Before, when I would be under stresses, I would look to food as a comfort. Now the thought of eating a big bowl of ice cream makes my stomach feel ill. I am eating South Beach Diet meal replacement bars today just to keep the protein levels and everything else at a decent level, without making me feel ill.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and according to their scales, which I used for my initial weight at 352 and the scales there said 312.5.
I am going by that scale before I go with another one, just because it is what my initial weight was. That means a loss of almost 40 pounds my friends. Not bad. At least there is some good in my life right now.
Peace to you all.
Unfortunately, with everything that is going on, I have been forcing myself to eat, and try not to knock my caloric intake too far down. I have been lucky just to eat around 1000 cals a day, just to try to prevent a complete shut down of energy.
Before, when I would be under stresses, I would look to food as a comfort. Now the thought of eating a big bowl of ice cream makes my stomach feel ill. I am eating South Beach Diet meal replacement bars today just to keep the protein levels and everything else at a decent level, without making me feel ill.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and according to their scales, which I used for my initial weight at 352 and the scales there said 312.5.
I am going by that scale before I go with another one, just because it is what my initial weight was. That means a loss of almost 40 pounds my friends. Not bad. At least there is some good in my life right now.
Peace to you all.
MasterofJune
New member
Once again, thanks to everyone for their kind words.
My life seems to be settling down, and I am breaking out and rejoining my exercise routine tomorrow. I have had four days without exercise, and very little food intake to boot. Things seem to be improving.
It has been very hard to eat the past four days, and have only had an intake of around 1000 calories but I am going to try to hit my goal intake of 1700-2000 calories today. I am eating pizza later, so I should have no problem.
After my follow-up with the doctor today I learned that I lost another 4 pounds over the last three days. This is not good. My doctor informed me that I need to at least take in 1700 calories to stay healthy. I have been hitting a brick wall as far as energy goes for the last few days, so I hope to break out of it. The good thing is that I am wearing a shirt today that I last fit into comfortably in 2001.
So, four more pounds down, but not a healthy four pounds.
I almost don't want to update the ticker, but I have to stay honest with myself, even though it wasn't healthy.
Peace to you all.
D
My life seems to be settling down, and I am breaking out and rejoining my exercise routine tomorrow. I have had four days without exercise, and very little food intake to boot. Things seem to be improving.
It has been very hard to eat the past four days, and have only had an intake of around 1000 calories but I am going to try to hit my goal intake of 1700-2000 calories today. I am eating pizza later, so I should have no problem
. After my follow-up with the doctor today I learned that I lost another 4 pounds over the last three days. This is not good. My doctor informed me that I need to at least take in 1700 calories to stay healthy. I have been hitting a brick wall as far as energy goes for the last few days, so I hope to break out of it. The good thing is that I am wearing a shirt today that I last fit into comfortably in 2001.
So, four more pounds down, but not a healthy four pounds.
I almost don't want to update the ticker, but I have to stay honest with myself, even though it wasn't healthy.
Peace to you all.
D