Marsia's Diary
- Thread starter Marsia
- Start date
Trust me: it's much easier when you get to go home at night and on weekends. Not to mention when you have colleagues who will a) understand and b) take over when a person decides they don't like or respect you.
Cate
Long term member
Self-compassion is so important. I admire you Marsia for looking after your mother & trying to find ways to cope. Switching around your way of looking at her new version of herself with dementia & learning totally new ways of dealing with her will be difficult, but you seem determined to do it & do it well. I really do admire you for that. My Mum's dementia was so different. It broke my heart really to see her so defenceless & incapable, after having been so strong & intelligent. I don't think I could have dealt with her care in the last 5 years. You are doing very well, hon.
The thought of developing dementia is probably the thing that scares me, and people like me, the most.
Your mother is so amazingly lucky, Marisa, to have your care and concern - and yes, please let go of all unnecessary stress (including replying to this!) and be as good to yourself as possible. (I wish we had a bunch of flowers emoji so I could send you flowers - a virtual bunch of violets, perhaps?)
One factor is simply that we´re all (on average) living longer and for the most part dementia starts relatively late in life.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Yes, but I suspect you were a lot closer to a goal weight when you started than I am now. We all know that for someone as overweight as I am the first hundred pounds are the easiest! Where are you now, how close to goal?
Petal001
New member
Hi Marisa hope you are getting on ok with therapy. Your diary always motivates me and yeah to the hard yard work to come ! An inlaw family member is looking after her dad at the moment who has dementia and it's so tough on them . We had a family member live with us in the past who had dementia but there was lots of help .
I agree it's great we are all trying our best here to change around our lives and be healthy and it's great to come and read your diary and whilst I feel for you and your mum it's a wake up call for us allreally . I think you are doing an amazing job and you never regret the care you give your mum .
I agree it's great we are all trying our best here to change around our lives and be healthy and it's great to come and read your diary and whilst I feel for you and your mum it's a wake up call for us allreally . I think you are doing an amazing job and you never regret the care you give your mum .
Cate
Long term member
I love that you are really looking forward to getting out into that yard. I'm getting there too. Spring is around the corner for me! I hope therapy is a positive experience for you, Marsia. I think when I have been I have had too much written down to really get strategies to make a difference with any of them. If you could prioritise them & deal with them one at a time you would probably get the most benefit. Just my opinion anyway & something I must remember for myself. Hope it goes well, hon xoxo
It must be so difficult caring for your mum. I love my mum but I don’t know if I would be selfless enough to look after if she developed dementia. I try not to think about it.
Anyway, we weigh about the same, so I will aim for 160 also. Let’s keep encouraging each other.
Anyway, we weigh about the same, so I will aim for 160 also. Let’s keep encouraging each other.
Improv and singing IN PUBLIC? I'd rather chew glass but I hope they have great fun.
Cate
Long term member
I love your wave analogy, Marsia. I talked to my sister again today & I talked about not catastrophising about what's down the track for us. It just helps no-one & changes nothing. It is obviously where the "just go with the flow" saying comes from & just what it means. We must go with the flow & try not to worry. I love that you are drumming, meditating & doing art & swimming. It gladdens my heart 
Petal001
New member
Hi LaMa I think your coping with your mum just fine . I read a piece the other day and thought about you . This man has become primary carer for his mum with dementia and his dad who is old and unwell. He said when he realised he had to become the primary caregiver it took him time to realise that he had to forego certain aspects of his before life . Work , hobbies etc would take more a back seat. One day his mum needed him there all day as she was particularly bad as his brother had to go with the dad to hospital and he said by end of the day he was exhausted. He said really he wasn't working all day but it was the mental coping looking after his mum and watching her speak to a photo and helping her get through the day. He knows though that his mum deep down loves him for doing this for her and he loves her and can't imagine not caring for her in this way. It was a very good insight.
There are 18 weeks to Christmas Em and Marsia so that should get you to goal at 1lb a week. I was thinking if I did that I would be back to my weight nearly 25 years ago lol. However I am going to be sensible with myself and if I was to lose 14 more lbs by xmas day I would be happy with that and maintain it .
There are 18 weeks to Christmas Em and Marsia so that should get you to goal at 1lb a week. I was thinking if I did that I would be back to my weight nearly 25 years ago lol. However I am going to be sensible with myself and if I was to lose 14 more lbs by xmas day I would be happy with that and maintain it .
That sounds good to me. Will we aim for that Marsia? We could do a check-in every Sunday or something? I weighed in this morning at 179.3 (body fat 41.6%), so my goal for next Sunday is 178.3. Maybe we could start another check-in diary that everyone who wants to can get involved with?
Cate
Long term member
Like Petal, I react the other way too to challenges. I don't find them fun at all.
Even the thought of participating in an improv troupe gives me daymares
I'll drink to that (but with herbal tea )
Even the thought of participating in an improv troupe gives me daymares
Yeah, we can just do it on our own diaries. No one else seems to want to get involved, lol.
Ha, we are more or less the exact same starting weight. Cool! I am feeling motivated with this, I've started tracking my food again, going well so far.