Marsia's Diary

Thanks so much LaMa and Cate! The scratches aren't painful unless I forget and itch them. They bled profusely, and I sprayed a ton of rubbing alcohol on them, so they are doing well. I also put aloe vera on them so I don't have a big long scar going down my face hopefully.

I keep trying to research good online programs for K so maybe she'll want to take classes in her field of study at an online university with me helping her, and then we could move sooner. She has 2 more years of high school after this year, and I can probably at least convince her to do early admissions or finish her high school degree early and go to a community college her last year. Her best friend B who used to be very studious has become rebellious because her dad is a lovely guy, but he has her on a very short leash and is being overprotective. So now when they study together over the phone, there is very little studying on the friend's end. B got a near perfect score on her pre-college test, so it's a little alarming how she no longer cares much about grades. I am thinking of having K and I teach her and her twin sister (who is also K's close friend and fellow graphic artist) how to make simple webpages with HTML and see if they like it and if we can make a little friends' club of girl programmers.

J is going out earlier than expected to scope things out, so I am making him a little guidebook of places to explore and houses to look at. K and I will probably go out there with him on spring break, but this way, we know what the realtor is showing us, and will be better informed, and even have some idea of whether this is really as wonderful a place as it sounds.

I am almost back down to low weight. One pound to go. I need to keep exercising and keep seeing all this as part of the nice future we are building because you guys are right, it's very hard unpacking in a place where I don't really feel a connection any longer. I need to keep appreciating that this place is a very good temporary stop over until we know what we are doing next. I'm struggling a little and am up and down in mood lately, but am determined to get back into healthy habits and take a lot better care of myself because I don't want to go downhill and get old and creaky! Ok, back to making a guidebook for J!
 
You're a long way off old and creaky! But you're right to stop the train before it even leaves the station. I don't think I'll ever understand the US school system but might finishing highschool a year early and moving out to college entice K's friend to put her head down and study again as well?
 
Oh, M. You have such a lovely relationship with your daughter. I'm sure that she won't be rebelling against her Mum any time soon :grouphug: I hope that scratch heals quickly. I hope J does not come back from his trip wanting to buy a property right now. I think some more time where you are will help clarify what sort of place you want to move to. I don't think there is a mad rush. I have been up & down lately too & having trouble really focussing on dropping some more weight. Let's try hard today. I have not been drinking wine but did have some chocolate last night.
 
Thanks LaMa, doing yoga and seeing just how inflexible I got was a wake up call for me. I am so glad K likes doing yoga with me and that we are getting strong together! I talked with K about her friend B today, and I think overhearing conversations where B is being lazy about schoolwork is making B seem less motivated than she really is. K says she is still working hard at school usually. B did consider going to college early at one point, but really likes her friend circle, so I think she'll stay and graduate. I realized that our education system was convoluted when I recently explained all the options for college and trade schools and such to K. She found it confusing, too.

Thanks for the nice compliment Cate. I am feeling good about my relationship with K. I just wish it wasn't so hard to figure out how to navigate the transition from our old house to a new one. California is considering doubling personal income tax, so we really might have to flee earlier. It's already in the top 10 highest states, and that would make it worst in the country.

J is thinking about just getting us a place we know we'd be happy in, and then we could take a few years to explore everywhere and see if we're in our happy place or not. This did not sound appealing to me until I started making him an itinerary for when he's out there. Then I zoomed in on the Downtown Charleston map to all the amazing museums and botanical gardens and historical architecture. It really looks like an incredible place. And there are amazing restaurants of every sort, and lots of fresh seafood. You can even catch crab and shrimp off your docks in some places. So I think it may be ok to move somewhere and just get to know the region. Who knows what will happen with J - he is so adventurous and is rather stir crazy and super enthused about moving. I will be careful not to get swept up in the moment though, and will reason everything out.

Let's start our second chapter of weight loss in the next day or so and get nice and energized about it again. I'm going to remember how good it feels being on track and how much less of a struggle when I don't let myself get tempted. I also need to get a good image in my head of what I am working toward. I think it's strength and flexibility that makes me enthused lately. How about for you?
 
Marsia said:
Let's start our second chapter of weight loss in the next day or so and get nice and energized about it again.
Click to expand...
One of the things we talked about in the course was the difference between having energy reserves and being able to mobilize them. You´d think we´d all have plenty of energy given that we´re on this forum to lose fat but of course in practice we usually feel more lethargic the heavier we get. And if we do things that energize us mentally we don´t feel as hungry physically. The cold showers somehow give me energy. And sunlight. Breathing exercises. Exercise in general. Fresh air. Trees. Chatting with friends. Learning something new. Eating fruit and veggies. And I´m sure there are more when I think about it.
 
I started looking up the most liveable places in the US by the ocean & Charleston is right up there, but it is such a long way from California!
Marsia said:
Who knows what will happen with J - he is so adventurous and is rather stir crazy and super enthused about moving. I will be careful not to get swept up in the moment though, and will reason everything out.
Click to expand...
I'm glad you are the voice of reason. Is J taking the RV all the way across there or is he flying? I had forgotten how vast the US is.
How was your day yesterday? I think I did well but didn't weigh this morning. I had better tomorrow.
 
Llama said:
One of the things we talked about in the course was the difference between having energy reserves and being able to mobilize them. You´d think we´d all have plenty of energy given that we´re on this forum to lose fat but of course in practice we usually feel more lethargic the heavier we get. And if we do things that energize us mentally we don´t feel as hungry physically. The cold showers somehow give me energy. And sunlight. Breathing exercises. Exercise in general. Fresh air. Trees. Chatting with friends. Learning something new. Eating fruit and veggies. And I´m sure there are more when I think about it.
Click to expand...
I love your list of energizing things so much! And it's a good reminder how exercise, good food, and engagement sort of primes the pump so you feel like doing and having more. I honestly think you'd be a wonderful nutritionalist, too. You could start the LaMa Health Farm with physical therapy classes and delicious bean wraps!
Cate said:
I started looking up the most liveable places in the US by the ocean & Charleston is right up there, but it is such a long way from California!
Click to expand...
We have a nefarious plan to lure all our friends and family out there with us! I want to make sure we have a lovely guest room for everyone to come see us.
Cate said:
I'm glad you are the voice of reason. Is J taking the RV all the way across there or is he flying? I had forgotten how vast the US is.
How was your day yesterday? I think I did well but didn't weigh this morning. I had better tomorrow.
Click to expand...
J was flying and by now should be having lunch somewhere and getting situated. It was just too far to drive out and back. I can't wait until he calls tonight with the first report on what it's like there. I made him a sort of treasure map of attractions to visit and properties to look at, and hopefully he's visiting somewhere nice before check in time at the hotel.

I did well yesterday and tracked all my calories. I am feeling good about doing that because my internal tracker of how much I can eat is not working yet, so recording calories is really helping. Yesterday we went out to dinner to celebrate my birthday early and went to my favorite Korean tofu house where I always get my favorite seafood tofu soup, plus all the little bowls of free appetizers that are all good for you, like kimchee and fish cakes and pickled cucumbers. I ate some delicious fresh pickles for you, Cate! Then we went out for treats afterward in the city where it was all bustling and lit up, and I was in shock being around that sort of thing again. I just had a taste of K's dessert and had a nice tea while we studied before dropping J off at the airport. It was a nice festive send off. I'm so excited for J!
 
Sounds like a lovely way to celebrate your (early) birthday. I just learned today that in Asia it´s normal to boil tofu before frying or otherwise cooking it. Might have to give tofu one last go before I give up on it... Fingers crossed J is looking with all your eyes and enjoying the area thoroughly!
 
It's 7.45 am on Saturday.
the 5th of February,
here in Oz
&
It's your birthday!!!
Happy Birthday, M!
😘👯‍♂️🥳👯‍♂️😘​
 
Llama said:
Sounds like a lovely way to celebrate your (early) birthday. I just learned today that in Asia it´s normal to boil tofu before frying or otherwise cooking it. Might have to give tofu one last go before I give up on it... Fingers crossed J is looking with all your eyes and enjoying the area thoroughly!
Click to expand...
Thanks LaMa! I just got off the phone with him, and even though he didn't sleep at all last night on the plane, he sounds so happy. He says that all the houses he is driving past are huge and beautiful, and in photos they don't look like much because they are dwarfed by the massive beautiful trees. He is on one of the islands below Charleston and I had him type in an address of a lovely beach where you can overlook a lighthouse that is out at sea, and he should get there right at sunset. It's raining there, so I hope he still gets a nice view.

You could try making your own tofu with soy beans and cheese cloth. It seems like the older the tofu is the more green and bean-y it tastes.

Thanks Cate and Vic! I had a nice birthday celebration yesterday, and I think tomorrow K and I will go do something nice as well. It's so beautiful out now - almost hot after having scraped a bunch of stubborn frost off the car windshield this morning. Looks like it will be a beautiful weekend. Hope you all have a lovely one!!
 
Happy birthday, Marsia!

(I've had truly fresh tofu before and while it isn't _as_ bad it still has an offensive aftertaste for me.)
 
Thanks everyone! I had a nice day talking with J on the phone as I found things to text him to go see, and he sent back really gorgeous photos of places, which is saying something as he is not a photographer by any means. He talked with a neighbor at one property we're really interested in and he's really nice. I talked J into eating at good restaurants as the Charleston area is well known for it's local and international cuisine. So he sent a menu of where he ate tonight and it looked wonderful - comfort food but also very healthy and fresh with lots of fresh seafood choices. I'll ask him what he had tomorrow.

K and I went downtown and split a gourmet burger at a place downtown where you can sit in a beautiful area outside with fountains and we found amazing art books in a used bookstore we love, and sat and ate and admired our books. She loves Edward Gory, and we found the best book by him. Mine was an encyclopedia of surrealism, and it had many artists I have never heard of before. Then we went to our favorite beach in town and just did about 5,000 steps and took lots of pics of the sand pipers and pelicans and big flocks of birds out at sea following the sardine run. We're home studying now and I made a route on a map for J for tomorrow's properties, and he eats breakfast in a fancy part of town where he'll meet with the realtor for the first time in person. Oh, and all the talk of tofu made me hungry for it, so I made a really rich chocolate tofu pudding today and ate a small amount and had a good healthy food day.

So J had a really nice day noodling around a town up north today where the houses are still inexpensive. He'll go back there with the realtor to look at properties soon, I think.
 
I don´t even know which part of that I like best: it all sounds lovely! Well, except for the tofu pudding that is. I think I´d rather have an apple... But that´s just me not liking tofu and shuddering at the thought of its foulness insulting the majesty that is chocolate.
 
That made me laugh LaMa. Don't worry, the last of the bag of unsweetened chocolate was getting messy, so I dumped it all in and made an ultra-cholate-y version where you don't taste any tofu at all. I don't taste an aftertaste anyway after having eaten it for years, so just picture it as a chocolate version of your protein puddings. It was so rich, just a little bit was very filling.

Our contractor is coming over this afternoon to fix the sink. It's good because it will make me unpack some more so I am not embarrassed that it looks the same as last time he came. I did do more, you just can't tell at all.

Yesterday we did yoga before bed, so 2 nice exercises in a day, and I feel so good this morning. Just did a weigh-in and I am back down to low weight!! Now to keep it off and keep going!
 
Yay for being back at low weight! In my experience I always notice flavors I dislike a lot more than flavors I do like, especially in the aftertaste. Probably an evolutionary thing to help avoid being poisoned or something. I have no moral objections to tofu though so I'm glad you enjoyed it!
 
It's getting really interesting, with the house hunting & it sounds like you & K are enjoying time on your own too. I really, really want to drop some more weight. Mine is stuck at the moment!
 
Thanks Cate and LaMa. The house hunting is interesting, but J likes the most expensive neighborhoods with almost no inventory best, which is worrying me a lilt. So I will be glad when the realtor takes him all around the day after tomorrow, and hopefully he'll know pockets of less expensive houses. Tomorrow I send J to a bunch of places that are far flung. He has a whole week there after this, so I'll have him check out towns way north and south of Charleston because they look so much more affordable and rural. One nice thing is that the people all seem so friendly everywhere and everyone waves at his car as he drives by no matter the neighborhood. He even made friends with a guy he met in a restaurant this morning, and the guy's family patiently waited for them to stop talking (for a half hour while they were trying to pay for their meal!)

So today was a homework and cleaning day and a day researching like crazy for J. I talked with S, the owner of the house where we're staying, today and she seems fine if we do end up moving from the apartment early, which is a relief.

Good food day - ate a huge salad with home made poppyseed dressing, which we love.

Cate, sorry the scale is being stubborn for you. Sometimes it seems like it will only move for me when I am not expecting it. I think the trick is to just keep plugging along whether the numbers keep up with our good eating or not. If I keep letting myself eat a little badly, I yo-yo like crazy! Also I can't use the scale numbers as a reward for doing well because often I eat perfectly within calories and the scale goes up a little. I think it's better for me to use the scale as a stick instead of a carrot. I really need to keep picturing my carrot to reinforce it in my forgetful brain - feeling good and being flexible and strong!
 
Last edited:
Good day today. I did a lot on the phone with J and am feeling good about our conversations and progress. I also got stuff done with stubborn boxes of stuff that would not fit anywhere and rearranged things so I like them much better. I was going to take a walk at the ocean with K, but forgot she has band practice and then oodles of homework, so tomorrow I must take a nice long walk by myself. I am feeling productive and on track again. It feels so good having a day again where food isn't a main focus. It's wonderful when it fades to the background as nutrition and does not need to also be entertainment. Very good to have that back!
 
I'm glad you are having such a good day & hope you get to go for a lovely long walk tomorrow :grouphug:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top