Marsia's Diary

Excellent, congratulations!
 
It's wonderful how well you are doing with the weight loss, Cate!!!! I am down 8 pounds, which is much nicer.

Today J and I went over a house we really like, and we are also looking at a couple of others in the same price range. J doesn't view this as needing to be our forever home and just wants to move there and have a house that is a good value and that we will enjoy. I am sort of still amazed that he went there and is looking. K doesn't want to leave her friends. So I am organizing a group phone call tomorrow so we all get on the same page hopefully.

I forgot to eat dinner and then it got too late, so I'd better eat well tomorrow. This house hunting stuff takes a lot of time even over the phone and on the internet. I didn't even remember to get my walk in. The day just evaporated away before my eyes. Tomorrow I won't be on the computer and will go garden and get fresh air!
 
Hi LaMa and Cate, K is 15 and has the rest of this year and the next 2 in high school. She does feel weird about all this. I talked with her on the car ride to school today and she thinks that an online community college where she can study programming may be the nicest thing. One of the houses we are looking at has the most phenominal public (free) high school with classes I would have been lucky to get in college. I hope J can get K to look at this school. He is really good at this type of diplomacy with her. She just fights me if she really doesn't want to do something, but he is really good with her about trying out new hard things.

J is looking at 2 absolutely gorgeous houses today with docks out into rivers. The realtor was really impressed with them. I am not sure how I feel about all this because the houses are within our means, but still expensive dream homes. So J and I will have long, long conversations about all the ramifications of things. It's good because it helps us clarify what we really want and the safest way to go about that.

Cate, I am not even that hungry this morning. I get like this when I am in normal non-overweight mode, I don't eat much for days, and then I eat a lot, and then not much again. I can't wait until I can get back to not being hyper-focused on food and I just focus on life and fit in food.

Today I really want to get some of those raised bed planters together. It's nippy out, so I'll putter around the house and wait for J to report back on the first house - my favorite. Ok, time to get the apartment tidied up and a little more stuff put away!
 
A real life school would probably make it easier for her to make new friends after moving.but I can understand that her first reaction would be to just say no if she's feeling overwhelmed.
 
Hi, M. I'm getting excited on your behalf I must admit about potential new houses. It's great that you & J have worked out the best approach with K. We do the same. D is much more inclined to take notice of G & R is with me. I understand why she is hesitant to leave all of her friends. Not knowing her I see that she would be the cool new kid in a new school. She seems so talented & lovely. You don't lose your truly good old friends when you move. I'm still friends with people from my youth. I hope she can pick up on some of your & J's enthusiasm.
I think I will always have to focus on food as when I stop concentrating I regain so easily. That may change. I hope so.
Hope you had a nice day pottering about xo
 
Hi guys! K is surprisingly shy around new people, and then an ultra-extrovert once she gets to know people she likes. So she isn't thrilled about moving to a new school, but then most kids wouldn't be. But I am relieved she likes one of my ideas to get her out to South Carolina. Actually I just got off the phone with the realtor's girlfriend who is an occupational therapist in the schools and whose son went to good charter schools there. She was a wealth of information, so I am armed with great information and if all else fails, I went to college a year early and know how to find good programs like that. So I feel like things will be ok - big huge PHEW! (Wow, re-reading this just gave me a big deja-vous!)

Cate, I agree about needing to concentrate most of the time about food, but I can dream that maybe some day I won't have to, like in the old days! K doesn't realize she is cool. Someone talked about nerds, and K said she is into science and math and is a nerd, and the girl said that she didn't believe it about being a nerd. K was surprised. I think K will always be close with these friends, and I'll be close with their parents, too! That's great you both have a son who will listen to you! K does most of the time, but then sometimes I have to hand her over to the ultimate charmer. She is warming up to the idea if it means doing college earlier. She really wants to code and get to the stuff she will need for her career. I agree - she's such a good kid. Thanks!

So the house we will scheme about when I call tonight is overlooking a marsh and has a community dock out to a beautiful river. I looked it up, and I could make a path through the woods to the road that leads to the boat ramp and have a kayak on wheels and wheel it down about half a block to the river. I still have our nice kayaking life jackets all ready to go! The house is already turn-key and really well cared for. It's a traditional Southern house with a porch and big back deck and a lovely garden. The very best thing is that the entire basement is already an art studio! When I first saw it on the listings, I fell in love but didn't show it to J because of the price being out of our initial range, but when he went and looked at it, he fell in love, too.

So today S's gardener used my wood chipper for the first time. I had just gotten it at the old house when we decided to move, so I brought it here for S to borrow. But she has a stinky neighbor who asked the gardener not to use the chipper because of the noise. But at least I learned how to use it. I was relieved it worked well as it was hard to put together. So tomorrow will be the new gardening day. Time to do a little yoga!
 
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:iagree: with LaMa. Enthusiasm is infectious & whirlwind Marsia pulls you along.....
Do these marshes & rivers have Alligators?
 
Thanks guys! That makes me smile! There are occasional alligators here, but mostly people say to look out for them, but don't expect them. And the poisonous snakes are primarily inland, which is a huge relief! The marshes and rivers are teaming with shrimp, fish, and blue crabs, and some people fish and shrimp and crab right off their docks. The local food is a combo of Southern comfort food, fresh seafood, and some Cajun influence. The architecture is typical Southern with a touch of Caribbean thrown in, and some beach house in what they call the Lowcountry, the marshes and rivers along the coast.

So we put an offer on the amazing house a few doors down from a gorgeous river (the one we were scheming over). We heard back yesterday that our offer was accepted! The property has acreage and a marsh view and a pine forest. There are little islands in the river, which flows down toward the ocean and joins a giant river and then goes into the ocean shortly afterwards. The entire region has strict environmental protections and is pristine and gorgeous. There are humungous old oaks filled with dripping Spanish moss in the area, too. And though South Carolina does get its share of hurricanes, they miss this area.

So I had a day of worrying about K, which was silly because she is ok about the move now. I think things were just moving so much faster than I expected that I had a day of, "Oh, no, what did I do to my kid?!" I am feeling happy and positive again, and have been helping S with all the garden stuff I can while I am still here. It's been unusually hot, so I'd better water tomorrow. Like you both mentioned in LaMa's diary, even good stress is still stress, so I am really tired out! But I can't wait to go paint and make the house our own. It's so turnkey, all we need to do is paint, and eventually swap out a few lights that aren't our style. If we really wanted to get fancy, we could replace a little tile work here and there, but I am tired of remodeling and going to so enjoy just moving in and enjoying life for a while! Oh, and it has a massive lawn that I want to put a decorative veggie garden in the middle of.
 
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Thanks! I am feeling really excited about the new place. I'm reading about paint colors and how to choose them because I don't want to have to try umpteen colors a room this time, and this house is traditional on the outside and the colors they use in the South are quite different. So I am having fun looking at the mansions for sale that were done by interior decorators and seeing if I can do something really creative but also calming and nice for our new interior colors. There's a big wall of windows overlooking a really nice yard, and I am thinking of doing a nice green to go with the pine forest out there so the wall disappears and you just look at the view.

J comes home today, so I picked up some roast duck at the Asian market on the way home from a concert K did. It was with her grunge band, and they sound so professional now. I was horribly socially phobic at the event having been a near hermit during the last 2 years of the Covid lockdown. I need to practice being relaxed around people I don't know again. The event was a grand opening for the music school's new location, and they had Middle Eastern catering, falafels, baba ganoush, pear soup, and nice sauces. It was very nice, but I only saw my kid's band and then I got overwhelmed and read in the car.

I am feeling sort of old fashioned and not relevant to the times lately. My kid says that I am like a happy little kid and just like happy things. I have been sort of mourning how the culture exposes kids to way too much too fast lately. I guess I am just from another era. I think I'll like living in the South where people are more traditional. I don't feel inspired around edginess. I like harmony a lot better. I probably am not making any sense, but it's something that has been stressing me out lately so I thought I'd mention it and see if I could capture how I'm feeling in words. It seems like the culture in general in the US is on steroids as far as change goes, and I don't feel like I am going in the same direction, not that the general culture was ever that satisfying, just more familiar.

Ok, so, weighed in and am still the same weight, so feeling really good about that given how stressful buying a house by proxy was!
 
Society has been changing at break-neck speed at least since WWI. I think every generation feels like it's worse for them than it was for others and most everyone reaches a point where they get frustrated because they feel like they can't keep up. I know I do, sometimes.
 
I have that same feeling, but it's more that I don't even want to keep up. My life was so different to kids lives now. It was much simpler & straightforward. I also think there's a generation gap for a reason. You have been living in such a heightened state for so long that it will take time & lots of care to get yourself back in some sort of equilibrium. Wanting to live a happy, uncomplicated life is something to aspire to, I think.
 
Thanks so much LaMa and Cate. I really like both your answers and read them both several times. Reading these, I thought about how in my mom's generation, her father plowed the fields with 2 really strong big horses, and now there are people putting rovers on Mars. I also think you are right, Cate, I've just had constant stress for the last several years, so I need some down time. I feel bad because all these parents want to befriend me and invite me to dinner and I just feel overloaded lately.

Cate, I really like your perspective about the generation gap being ok. I'd always thought that I wasn't going to be like my parents, and I'd try to understand my kid and her worldview. I do think I've done ok at that, but the parents I am around are in the in-between generation. Since I had K so late, I am old enough for her to be my granddaughter, and so the parents I am around are generally young enough to be my kid, and I really don't feel any connection with them. After initial small talk (which I am not great at) I just can't think of a single thing to say, and I've run out of things to ask, and by then the social anxiety has kicked in. But you are right, if you don't have anything in common with someone, that's ok! And I am happy you are bringing up having a happy, uncomplicated life. I really need to focus on that again!

Yesterday K and I went for a walk in the redwood forest by nice streams. It was a little walk, but was so nice. I'll miss the forest a lot. I didn't do well food-wise. J came home and we had bought some Thai tea ice cream from the Asian market, and that and all the salty roast duck brought my weight up a little. I'll be more careful today.
 
I really do think the generation gap is ok. I can try all I like to understand where my grandkids views come from, but I can never think as they do. I don't knock their views at all. I think they have it tough in this very complicated world. I love them & they know it. I don't even mind if they secretly mock me. The world must be so daunting to teenagers these days. I certainly wouldn't swap.
I think K seems to be well rounded & optimistic so you are doing a great job. Be you, M. Soon it will be time for you to explore doing the things that really make you happy & relaxed.
 
Thanks Cate, this made me happy to read! I think our area got inundated with hyper-competitive Silicon Valley types, and it isn't the happy little beach town it was. That's one one hand. On the other hand, on the way to the cafe I saw a lovely bicyclist with a bubble blower on her bike, blowing giant bubbles out behind her. I can't let the stressed out people shut me down. I think though that where we are moving, people are going to be more relaxed and go slower and enjoy life more.

I sometimes fantasize about starting a center for stress management because things are so hard for teens and really everyone now. But I need to manage it better myself first! I think I had a good food day. It was really hard estimating calories, so I'll stop eating for the day just in case.
 
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