JayCanDoIt
New member
I'm so sorry about everything you're going through. But hang on tight. You're a strong lady and you've been through a ton. You can get through this!
Losing Weight in the Land of Chocolate and Cheese!
- Thread starter decisionmaker
- Start date
decisionmaker
New member
AThanks guys. It's not really too much of a crisis - my ankle is an OLD problem now and I am just so sick of being in pain with it, and with it just being such an issue. That's why I got upset. And then my doctor is just being bloody incompetent and doesn't do the things she promised, which just makes me mad and more upset. Calling my insurance people gives me a lot of anxiety, because they only speak German, and it is so hard... I get so nervous and anxious... but I have to do it.
Anyway, all that has nothing to do with the reasons why I think there's no reason for me to be on here at the moment! It's just that I'm not at all focused on my food, and I feel kind of mean getting on here and talking about it when everyone else here is trying really hard. So yeah...
Anyway, all that has nothing to do with the reasons why I think there's no reason for me to be on here at the moment! It's just that I'm not at all focused on my food, and I feel kind of mean getting on here and talking about it when everyone else here is trying really hard. So yeah...
Cate
Long term member
Hi sweets, I think most of us came into the forum when we needed help & support to get motivated with weight-loss. I know I stay here for the love & friendship. It's not just about food. You are a part of the WLF community & we love you. Remember that this is where you say what you really feel & share those things that you can't express "out there". Leaking eyes is contagious. I seem to have the same problem lately. Don't hide those feelings sweetie, they & you, benefit from being shared with friends, xoxo Cate
overtherainbow
New member
AJust because your ankle is an "old" problem, it doesn't make it any easier. It makes it worse 
I feel awful for you. It must be hard for you to give up hope on playing netball for the foreseeable future. Your netball mates are awesome. Just think back to when you joined the team- it must have been quite clicky... But you made good friends with them, and I've got no doubt that it will be the same with the choir! And even if it isn't quite the same, you are making lots of future mummy friends at yoga. And you will still get to air your lungs! I would LOVE to hear you sing!
And look at me.... I am eating crap but still hanging around in the hope that my motivation will come back! You are not eating awfully- Just more than normal. I have been scouring the net for motivation tips, and the one I like the most is "Get excited about it", they said that if you need to do something, don't do it straight away, set a date in the near future and put all your energy into building excitement and suspense. Then when the day comes you'll be raring to go. My day is going to be on wednesday, and I'm going to try and eat 2000 calories a day till then. xxxx
I feel awful for you. It must be hard for you to give up hope on playing netball for the foreseeable future. Your netball mates are awesome. Just think back to when you joined the team- it must have been quite clicky... But you made good friends with them, and I've got no doubt that it will be the same with the choir! And even if it isn't quite the same, you are making lots of future mummy friends at yoga. And you will still get to air your lungs! I would LOVE to hear you sing!And look at me.... I am eating crap but still hanging around in the hope that my motivation will come back! You are not eating awfully- Just more than normal. I have been scouring the net for motivation tips, and the one I like the most is "Get excited about it", they said that if you need to do something, don't do it straight away, set a date in the near future and put all your energy into building excitement and suspense. Then when the day comes you'll be raring to go. My day is going to be on wednesday, and I'm going to try and eat 2000 calories a day till then. xxxx
overtherainbow
New member
AOh, and the police are awful! You would at least think they would make a note of it in case they raid a burglars home or something and it turns up! Registering a bike is ridiculous! Its not a car!
decisionmaker
New member
AJess - there are SO MANY 'rules' about eating during pregnancy. I bought a book about healthy nutrition during pregnancy, but for eight weeks it seemed I couldn't even look at a vegetable or a piece of fruit. It was only rice and potatoes... just tasteless stuff. Everyone says do what you can... but now I am hungry again, and mainly the rules are the same, but more calories. They want you to calculate your maintenance calorie needs, and then add 300cal to that. For me (I'm SO TALL), my maintenance is 1800-2200cal (which is hard to get my head around!) so I should be getting above 2000 cal a day. The problem is that this should all be from 'good' food like lean meats, low fat dairies, nuts, fruit, etc. Not cheesecakes and muffins
Kate - I know, you are right - it IS like catching up for coffee You're a sweety.
Jay - thanks for your support - it means a lot to have cheerleaders!
Cate - you are right, this IS the place where I come to share the feelings that I can't easily express in the 'real world'... but because of that, I feel like I'm being misleading and not using the site the way it should be used. I mean, this is a weight-loss forum, and currently I'm pregnant and gaining weight, and all I do it talk about my LIFE, not about my food. So I'm not really ticking the right boxes... But you are right- it is good for me, I just feel a bit naughty about it all, like I'm cheating. And I don't like that feeling.
Ruthie - YES the fact it is now an old injury makes it so much worse. I really wish they would just approve me for an operation and just give me a new metal joint already. I know so many people who have had big operations here and they heal so darn quickly! This has been seven months now... boo. Thanks for what you said about making friends... but it is a completely different kettle of fish when they are all speaking a different language. It is a bajillion times harder. But singing is bloody great for my soul, so I'm going to go anyway, even if I don't make any friends. I'll be cheering you on for wednesday, darlin! Oh, p.s. yes registering a bike is stupid. But welcome to Switzerland. Everything needs to be logged and filed away and accounted for. Using lots of people and pieces of paper. It really made me angry that they wouldn't even listen to our description of the bike, especailyl when it's so unique. Gr.
___________________________
Today has been better. I'm still feeling as if I'm on some sort of precipice , dangling there and hoping I don't fall over into a pit of feeling utterly useless. Not sure what;s going on with me at the moment.
Things that are contributing to this feeling:
And to make all this worse, I HAAATE being a whinger. YES my life is fan-bloody-tastic. I know it. And yet I'm in a funk.
Things I'm looking forward to:
Kate - I know, you are right - it IS like catching up for coffee
You're a sweety.Jay - thanks for your support - it means a lot to have cheerleaders!
Cate - you are right, this IS the place where I come to share the feelings that I can't easily express in the 'real world'... but because of that, I feel like I'm being misleading and not using the site the way it should be used. I mean, this is a weight-loss forum, and currently I'm pregnant and gaining weight, and all I do it talk about my LIFE, not about my food. So I'm not really ticking the right boxes... But you are right- it is good for me, I just feel a bit naughty about it all, like I'm cheating. And I don't like that feeling.
Ruthie - YES the fact it is now an old injury makes it so much worse. I really wish they would just approve me for an operation and just give me a new metal joint already. I know so many people who have had big operations here and they heal so darn quickly! This has been seven months now... boo. Thanks for what you said about making friends... but it is a completely different kettle of fish when they are all speaking a different language. It is a bajillion times harder.
But singing is bloody great for my soul, so I'm going to go anyway, even if I don't make any friends. I'll be cheering you on for wednesday, darlin! Oh, p.s. yes registering a bike is stupid. But welcome to Switzerland. Everything needs to be logged and filed away and accounted for. Using lots of people and pieces of paper. It really made me angry that they wouldn't even listen to our description of the bike, especailyl when it's so unique. Gr. ___________________________
Today has been better. I'm still feeling as if I'm on some sort of precipice , dangling there and hoping I don't fall over into a pit of feeling utterly useless. Not sure what;s going on with me at the moment.
Things that are contributing to this feeling:
- My German lessons are going really shite. My yoga classes are two times a week and one of these days clashes with my German. I've tried to change my classes but it doesn't seem possible. So I'm going to just go to one yoga a week instead... But my German lessons are DIRECTLY after that yoga class, so that means I won't get to go out to lunch with the other mummies afterwards, because I'll have to rush off to my lessons. All of this is making me feel like I'm not getting the best things I can out of either of these things.
- am really bad at dealing with change... so my bike got stolen, right? Well, deal with it! But now I don't know how to get to all the places I usually go (by public transport, which costs money - about 8 francs a day
- I don't want to spend) and so I'm just moping at home. Which I KNOW is bad. Which of course just makes me feel worse. Dunc has tried to adjust his cheap crappy bike to fit me, but it is just so uncomfortable and I am not confident on it at all... So I'm not using it, which again makes me feel like I'm being bad - he's trying to help, and I'm not even acknowledging it.
- My writing is ... not happening. I tried this morning and managed 600 words, which isthe most I've done in one day for probably 6 weeks. Which is bloody ridiculous. I set myself a very very very easy and achievable target of 500 words a day and have been failing dismally. The days that I DO end up writing, I get to about 350 words and konk out. So I don't know what's going on there.
- keep losing everything. All these important forms all the time, my keys, stuff that Dunc has given me to look after... etc.
And to make all this worse, I HAAATE being a whinger. YES my life is fan-bloody-tastic. I know it. And yet I'm in a funk.
Things I'm looking forward to:
- - Tuesday we have our next ultrasound, and then hopefully we can tell people straight after that, if bubba seems to be healthy. Which I am DYING to do.
- We had it confirmed today that our new gorgeous apartment will be available for us to move into from November 10th. Which is awesome! I will be needing to come up with a new routine here for my breakfasts and my writing and everything, which I'm looking forward to. I won't really be needing a bike as much there anyway.
- Snow
- markets.
- going back to Aus for our friends' wedding on Dec 9.
decisionmaker
New member
ARight. Food.
- small bowl porridge with milk and dried cranberries, decaf skim coffee
- croissant
- 2 x cheese and tomato toasted sandwich (the bread was actually kinda small)
- 2 stewed apple fruit cup things (no added sugar)
- 1 sesame snap
- roasted moroccan pork loin with green beans (with a toasted spice topping) and roasted veg - onion, carrot, zucchini and potato (roasted in olive oil)
There was a little problem this evening where my lovely husband, who is on-call with work at the moment, led me to believe that he would be home for a 'fancy home dinner with his lovely wife'. Instead, he forgot, and ate dinner at work, because he got a late page and had to stay late. Didn't tell me. I'd been cooking since 3pm. He's bad. Seems I can't hold a grudge though - he's still at work at 9.40pm and I just feel sorry for the poor dude. At least there'll be yummy leftovers.
- small bowl porridge with milk and dried cranberries, decaf skim coffee
- croissant
- 2 x cheese and tomato toasted sandwich (the bread was actually kinda small)
- 2 stewed apple fruit cup things (no added sugar)
- 1 sesame snap
- roasted moroccan pork loin with green beans (with a toasted spice topping) and roasted veg - onion, carrot, zucchini and potato (roasted in olive oil)
There was a little problem this evening where my lovely husband, who is on-call with work at the moment, led me to believe that he would be home for a 'fancy home dinner with his lovely wife'. Instead, he forgot, and ate dinner at work, because he got a late page and had to stay late. Didn't tell me. I'd been cooking since 3pm. He's bad. Seems I can't hold a grudge though - he's still at work at 9.40pm and I just feel sorry for the poor dude. At least there'll be yummy leftovers.
decisionmaker
New member
AWEIGH DAY
Only put on 0.1kg this week.Yay! Phew, it seems I am doing okay despite being SO hungry... I just know that you aren't meant to put on very much in the first trimester, and I am twelve weeks on monday, so I'm on track. You are meant to put on between 1 and 5 pounds in the first trimester, and I'm up to 1.5kg (3.3 pounds).
- Forgot to take a picture. Will do it tomorrow.
Only put on 0.1kg this week.Yay! Phew, it seems I am doing okay despite being SO hungry... I just know that you aren't meant to put on very much in the first trimester, and I am twelve weeks on monday, so I'm on track. You are meant to put on between 1 and 5 pounds in the first trimester, and I'm up to 1.5kg (3.3 pounds).
- Forgot to take a picture. Will do it tomorrow.
katehunibun
New member
AHeya cupcake & Beanie
I'm so sorry for being very AWOL!!!! I'm feeling really good today so i am gonna catch up with everyones diary and yours, my dearest, is the first one on my list!!!!! I might even shout at you
!!
I am gonna comment on lots of what you have said but most of the answers i am gonna give you are because you're pregnant!!!!!!
Your ankle, Getting upset is totally understandable, 1. cos you're pregnant! 2. It really gets to the point with pain/injury where you have just had enough and really want it gone. I had back pain for about 2 years, it hurt if i stood for more than 5 mins, sat for more than 5 mins, bent over, got up, etc. I would often wake up at about 4am and have to stretch out (sometimes even getting Mark to help me) cos i had ceased and i was so stiff and in pain every morning too so i understand the frustration of it. Don't feel bad about moaning, hell, i would complain loads too, that's what we are here for. Whinge away
Onto the subject of you feeling bad about posting on a weight loss forum. This is where i might shout at you Look, You are bloody pregnant!!!! so you are not supose to be losing weight but that doesn't mean that you should stop posting your diary or being here for others!!! This is a support community, the people who write on your diary and the diaries you write on are all friends We need you to be here. For me it goes beyond weight loss forum. This is my place to come to to spend time with awesome freinds who help me out and who are there for me, no matter what. We try and help, motivate and encourage when things aint going so great and it would be a sadder place without Joh & beanie!!!!!! I am perfectly happy just reading 'about your life' We can totally hassle you when you want to lose after Beanie has arrived but until then we will take your pregnancy journey with you
Everyone who reads your diary will agree with me. You are out numbered so you aint allowed to leave SO THERE!!! Get me, being all bossy
On your singing!!!! That is so cool. Who cares that their is a lauguage barrier, well, you do but....I bet they are so impressed that you came along knowing that they wouldn't speak english! I am so proud of you for going sweetie, that is a massive thing to do. GO YOU!!
Here is where i am gonna say because you're pregnant and Hormones lovie!!! to most of this.
Everone has probably told you this already but pregnancy hormones are like nothing you will have experienced before. They are proper insane. The crying, the screaming, the dreams, the 'heavy sighing' the childish excitement, the sleeping, being totally irrational etc etc is alot to deal with. Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie, you're doing great and it will get better.
Is there any way you can drop the german lessons for a while and just stick with your yoga? Maybe do some online. It will be one less stress to deal with. You could probably do without it at the moment.
YOUR BIKE.....Gutted for you. Pregnancy hormones are gonna make that a whole lot harder to deal with too. Big squishy hugs for ya on that one sweetie.
Your writing.....Can you take a few weeks or a month off? By then you will be more use to pregnant life and to be honest, by 16 weeks your body and brain has got use to what it's doing. You will be less hormonal (i have spelt it wrong, i know, and i am sick of repeating it too lol), less tired and will start to enjoy just being pregnant. And you never know, by then Beanie will make his presence felt and that changes everything Don't beat yourself up about not being able to get the words down that you feel you should. Your pregnant for f**ks sake!!!! Cut yourself some slack Look i shouted again
You keep losing things!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry to break this to you sweetheart but you are gonna have to get use to that now!!!! Have you ever heard of the phrase 'baby brain' Well it is so bloody true. From the minute i was pregnant my brain went to mush......Write everything down, keep lists and notes cos there is no going back now lol welcome to the ditsy, airhead club!!!!
Things to look forward too.....Ultrasound!!! how exciting and then you get to tell everyone, that will make life easier........ Moving!!!!!, you actually get to do the whole pregnancy 'nesting' thing properly. You are gonna have so much fun getting your new home ready for family life with Beanie, so so excited for you guys Snow, markets! I am jealous. Englis winters are just cold, rainy, windy and crap and if we do get snow it is crappy slush that causes the country to stop lol. AND you get to bugger off to sunny Oz in december!! Awesome
Ok, onto today post. You seem a bit happier And if you are hungry then bloody eat!!!! I noticed you didn't have any truffles yesterday......Maybe the are called for.
I think i have waffled for long enough sweetie.
Lots of love and squishies and Don't you dare leave me!!!! vibes
& Beanie I'm so sorry for being very AWOL!!!! I'm feeling really good today so i am gonna catch up with everyones diary and yours, my dearest, is the first one on my list!!!!! I might even shout at you
!!I am gonna comment on lots of what you have said but most of the answers i am gonna give you are because you're pregnant!!!!!!
Your ankle, Getting upset is totally understandable, 1. cos you're pregnant! 2. It really gets to the point with pain/injury where you have just had enough and really want it gone. I had back pain for about 2 years, it hurt if i stood for more than 5 mins, sat for more than 5 mins, bent over, got up, etc. I would often wake up at about 4am and have to stretch out (sometimes even getting Mark to help me) cos i had ceased and i was so stiff and in pain every morning too so i understand the frustration of it. Don't feel bad about moaning, hell, i would complain loads too, that's what we are here for. Whinge away
Onto the subject of you feeling bad about posting on a weight loss forum. This is where i might shout at you
Look, You are bloody pregnant!!!! so you are not supose to be losing weight but that doesn't mean that you should stop posting your diary or being here for others!!! This is a support community, the people who write on your diary and the diaries you write on are all friends We need you to be here. For me it goes beyond weight loss forum. This is my place to come to to spend time with awesome freinds who help me out and who are there for me, no matter what. We try and help, motivate and encourage when things aint going so great and it would be a sadder place without Joh & beanie!!!!!! I am perfectly happy just reading 'about your life' We can totally hassle you when you want to lose after Beanie has arrived but until then we will take your pregnancy journey with you Everyone who reads your diary will agree with me. You are out numbered so you aint allowed to leave SO THERE!!! Get me, being all bossy
On your singing!!!! That is so cool. Who cares that their is a lauguage barrier, well, you do but....I bet they are so impressed that you came along knowing that they wouldn't speak english! I am so proud of you for going sweetie, that is a massive thing to do. GO YOU!! Here is where i am gonna say because you're pregnant and Hormones lovie!!! to most of this.
Everone has probably told you this already but pregnancy hormones are like nothing you will have experienced before. They are proper insane. The crying, the screaming, the dreams, the 'heavy sighing' the childish excitement, the sleeping, being totally irrational etc etc is alot to deal with. Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie, you're doing great and it will get better.
Is there any way you can drop the german lessons for a while and just stick with your yoga? Maybe do some online. It will be one less stress to deal with. You could probably do without it at the moment.
YOUR BIKE.....Gutted for you. Pregnancy hormones are gonna make that a whole lot harder to deal with too. Big squishy hugs for ya on that one sweetie.
Your writing.....Can you take a few weeks or a month off? By then you will be more use to pregnant life and to be honest, by 16 weeks your body and brain has got use to what it's doing. You will be less hormonal (i have spelt it wrong, i know, and i am sick of repeating it too lol), less tired and will start to enjoy just being pregnant. And you never know, by then Beanie will make his presence felt and that changes everything
Don't beat yourself up about not being able to get the words down that you feel you should. Your pregnant for f**ks sake!!!! Cut yourself some slack Look i shouted again You keep losing things!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry to break this to you sweetheart but you are gonna have to get use to that now!!!! Have you ever heard of the phrase 'baby brain' Well it is so bloody true. From the minute i was pregnant my brain went to mush......Write everything down, keep lists and notes cos there is no going back now lol welcome to the ditsy, airhead club!!!! Things to look forward too.....Ultrasound!!! how exciting and then you get to tell everyone, that will make life easier........ Moving!!!!!, you actually get to do the whole pregnancy 'nesting' thing properly. You are gonna have so much fun getting your new home ready for family life with Beanie, so so excited for you guys
Snow, markets! I am jealous. Englis winters are just cold, rainy, windy and crap and if we do get snow it is crappy slush that causes the country to stop lol. AND you get to bugger off to sunny Oz in december!! Awesome Ok, onto today post. You seem a bit happier
And if you are hungry then bloody eat!!!! I noticed you didn't have any truffles yesterday......Maybe the are called for.I think i have waffled for long enough sweetie.
Lots of love and squishies and Don't you dare leave me!!!! vibes
decisionmaker
New member
A
Do you KNOW how awesome you are? Do you know it? You are the awesomest of the awesome!!!! Look at that up there! Just look at it! I came on here, after being told you'd written, but then I saw this huge long post and though 'nope' and looked around but... it was from YOU! And you know the best thing? The first thing I did (before I started crying, haha) was laugh my socks off. All that yelling and bold print of 'YOU ARE F$&#ING PREGNANT' and all those smileys... I knew it was going to be a good read. And of course it was. That's when I started crying
You know, as always, you are totally right. And I could give you excuses and comebacks galore,but I wouldn't win. You are right. I think the hard thing is that, because I can't tell anyone about it yet, I feel like I should be functioning normally. If I don't go to Oktoberfest or I don't want to go clubbing (?I don't understand why anyone would) I need to give some lame excuse... and I'm sick of lying. I want people to be excited for me, and to look after me a little bit! Haha. So i think I will feel better when I can just finally tell people.
I know about pregnancy brain, but I've always been a bloody smart arse, so it's hard for me to come to terms with! And sometimes Dunc finds it funny, sometimes it just totally isn't funny at all and causes real problems. When my bike wasn't there that morning, my heart stopped because I thought I must have forgotten it and left it out in the cold somewhere around town... So there's an upside to it getting nicked, I suppose.
About giving my German a rest for a while, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY LOVE LOVE LOVE TO DO THAT. But I don't think I can. I mean, I'm not working, I'm not really doing much at all, so 3 hours of german classes a week shouldn't really be too much for me. And all my German classes are paid for by dunc's work for the first year that we are here, which is until January... so I feel like I need to really throw myself in while I can. It's that GUILT thing. That I'm not working, not doing anything productive, just bumming around and (lately) feeling sorry for myself. I KnOW myself that I need to feel I am achieving something, or I can get depressed... so my writing has been that thing for me. I would love to just do that at the moment. Maybe give myself a target of 50 words a day or something equallly as ridiculous, so that I will always be giving myself a pat on the back. I'd love to drop German for now and just do my writing and yoga... but I know that Dunc wouldn't like that either... he thinks that learning german is number 1 priority... I dunno. I'll think about it.
Thanks for giving me the talk about me having friends on here that I am just wanting to catch up with. I know what you mean. But, like you said, I could also just focus on being a suport for the rest of you here... but I haven't been doing that at all lately either. Everything has just seemed too hard.
AH well, I am doing better today, my lovely, largely thanks to you. You are the awesomest. Love ya. (P.S. You spelt 'hormonal' totally right, and used it a completely appropriate number of times. hehe)
______________________________
Today is better. I talked to (cried to) dunc a lot this morning and, as usual, he had no idea I was going through a rough time. It's not that he's insensitive, I just don't ever reveal it until it's too big for me to hold inside. BAD JOH. And I know that isn't good for Beanie either (though I'm trying not to beat myself up over that... see what a silly thing I am?)
We went out for a late breaky and we played chess, which is what we used to do ages ago, and it was just nice to be normal and hang out together.
Tonight I'm reheating the awesome dinner I made last night, but the meat will be all dry and yuck... I don't know what to do to make it nice. Maybe I can put some stock in the bottom of a roasting pan and pop it in the oven again on a reallly low heat, and it will absorb some of that and go juicy? Hmm... maybe...
Do you KNOW how awesome you are? Do you know it? You are the awesomest of the awesome!!!! Look at that up there! Just look at it! I came on here, after being told you'd written, but then I saw this huge long post and though 'nope' and looked around but... it was from YOU! And you know the best thing? The first thing I did (before I started crying, haha) was laugh my socks off. All that yelling and bold print of 'YOU ARE F$&#ING PREGNANT' and all those smileys... I knew it was going to be a good read. And of course it was. That's when I started crying
You know, as always, you are totally right. And I could give you excuses and comebacks galore,but I wouldn't win. You are right. I think the hard thing is that, because I can't tell anyone about it yet, I feel like I should be functioning normally. If I don't go to Oktoberfest or I don't want to go clubbing (?I don't understand why anyone would) I need to give some lame excuse... and I'm sick of lying. I want people to be excited for me, and to look after me a little bit! Haha. So i think I will feel better when I can just finally tell people.
I know about pregnancy brain, but I've always been a bloody smart arse, so it's hard for me to come to terms with! And sometimes Dunc finds it funny, sometimes it just totally isn't funny at all and causes real problems. When my bike wasn't there that morning, my heart stopped because I thought I must have forgotten it and left it out in the cold somewhere around town...
So there's an upside to it getting nicked, I suppose. About giving my German a rest for a while, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY LOVE LOVE LOVE TO DO THAT. But I don't think I can. I mean, I'm not working, I'm not really doing much at all, so 3 hours of german classes a week shouldn't really be too much for me. And all my German classes are paid for by dunc's work for the first year that we are here, which is until January... so I feel like I need to really throw myself in while I can. It's that GUILT thing. That I'm not working, not doing anything productive, just bumming around and (lately) feeling sorry for myself. I KnOW myself that I need to feel I am achieving something, or I can get depressed... so my writing has been that thing for me. I would love to just do that at the moment. Maybe give myself a target of 50 words a day or something equallly as ridiculous, so that I will always be giving myself a pat on the back. I'd love to drop German for now and just do my writing and yoga... but I know that Dunc wouldn't like that either... he thinks that learning german is number 1 priority... I dunno. I'll think about it.
Thanks for giving me the talk about me having friends on here that I am just wanting to catch up with. I know what you mean. But, like you said, I could also just focus on being a suport for the rest of you here... but I haven't been doing that at all lately either. Everything has just seemed too hard.
AH well, I am doing better today, my lovely, largely thanks to you. You are the awesomest. Love ya. (P.S. You spelt 'hormonal' totally right, and used it a completely appropriate number of times. hehe)
______________________________
Today is better. I talked to (cried to) dunc a lot this morning and, as usual, he had no idea I was going through a rough time. It's not that he's insensitive, I just don't ever reveal it until it's too big for me to hold inside. BAD JOH. And I know that isn't good for Beanie either (though I'm trying not to beat myself up over that... see what a silly thing I am?)
We went out for a late breaky and we played chess, which is what we used to do ages ago, and it was just nice to be normal and hang out together.
Tonight I'm reheating the awesome dinner I made last night, but the meat will be all dry and yuck... I don't know what to do to make it nice. Maybe I can put some stock in the bottom of a roasting pan and pop it in the oven again on a reallly low heat, and it will absorb some of that and go juicy? Hmm... maybe...
overtherainbow
New member
AAh, I don't know what to say because Kate said it all so perfectly!
50 words a day is a good idea... that's all it takes. It doesn't even matter if your not happy with the words, at least you have written something. I bet you that one day very soon you will sit down not feeling like writing then all of the words will avalanche faster than you can type them and you'll write loads of brilliant stuff. Have you been to your writers group recently?
Ah glad you had your early morning (Eeeek!!!) chess date with Dunc again. It sucks that he didn't remember the dinner, but I bet he couldn't feel any more awful about it. And don't feel bad about feeling miserable when your pregnant. I was crying my eyes out every day when I was pregnant with Lily, but she was the happiest baby and toddler ever. And she is still really happy. With the occasional whine throw in!
The stock sounds like a good idea, how did it go?
50 words a day is a good idea... that's all it takes. It doesn't even matter if your not happy with the words, at least you have written something. I bet you that one day very soon you will sit down not feeling like writing then all of the words will avalanche faster than you can type them and you'll write loads of brilliant stuff. Have you been to your writers group recently?
Ah glad you had your early morning (Eeeek!!!) chess date with Dunc again. It sucks that he didn't remember the dinner, but I bet he couldn't feel any more awful about it. And don't feel bad about feeling miserable when your pregnant. I was crying my eyes out every day when I was pregnant with Lily, but she was the happiest baby and toddler ever. And she is still really happy. With the occasional whine throw in!
The stock sounds like a good idea, how did it go?
decisionmaker
New member
AThanks Ruthie. I've told my writing group that I can only meet once every two months now, because I spend one week preparing my piece for submission, one week editing everyone else's submissions, and only two weeks working on my first draft. And every piece of writing advice says to bang out your first draft before worrying too much about the nitty gritty. All the editing has to come later. So... yeah. It was a really good move for me I think. The last time I only submitted 3 pages anyway, not the 10 I should have. So it wasn't making me write more anyway... I just need to reduce stress at the moment.
DINNER - I sliced up the meat and cooked it slowly with the roasted onions from last night, some mustard, a little apple cidar and some stock. I cooked it all reallllly slowly for about 90 minutes and it was SOOO yum.
FOOD TODAY
- cheese omlette with 1 slice crappy white bread with butter, hot chocolate
- a bowl of olives with 4 thin slices cheddar cheese
- kiwi fruit, apple
- handful of lollies (gummy bear things)
- 2 slices slow cooked pork with roast veg and steamed beans, with an onion-y gravy
- Magnum (hmm)
Well.... it's saturday night, and I had lollies and an ice cream while watching a movie with my man. That makes it semi-okay right? I forgot to have a proper lunch... hence the lollies, I think. Hmm.
DINNER - I sliced up the meat and cooked it slowly with the roasted onions from last night, some mustard, a little apple cidar and some stock. I cooked it all reallllly slowly for about 90 minutes and it was SOOO yum.
FOOD TODAY
- cheese omlette with 1 slice crappy white bread with butter, hot chocolate
- a bowl of olives with 4 thin slices cheddar cheese
- kiwi fruit, apple
- handful of lollies (gummy bear things)
- 2 slices slow cooked pork with roast veg and steamed beans, with an onion-y gravy
- Magnum (hmm)
Well.... it's saturday night, and I had lollies and an ice cream while watching a movie with my man. That makes it semi-okay right? I forgot to have a proper lunch... hence the lollies, I think. Hmm.
katehunibun
New member
AHeya cupcake
I didn't reply to your post straight away cos i was genuinly speachless!!!!! Who would have bloody thought it huh. You made me speachless!
I really didn't expect what i had written to make such a difference for you. I had been reading your diary over the week, seeing you get lower and lower but was in such a shit place myself that i felt i couldn't word what i wanted to say properly. I felt so much better yesterday so made a coffee and sat down to rant at you I will be perfectly honest and tell you that i was being selfish!! I want you to stay, posting on your diary and just generally being here. That's why i posted, i just sort of got a bit carried away 
You, Ruthie and Jess have been here for me from the beginning and i have loved reading about all your lives, the good and the bad, we have all had some massive ups and downs. I just know, for me it wouldn't be the same if you were not here. YOU have changed my life!!!! You have no idea how totally different i am since being here and having you guys here for me. You all say that i have done this but i KNOW you guys have done this.
I didn't see your facebook comment til this morning And OMG!!!! Thank you I was so embarassed.... I felt like going 'ssshhhhhhhh' I haven't done anything. It was a lovely thing to do, thank you from the bottom of my heart, it does amaze me that i actually mean something to other people and seeing as i have never met you and you think that, it's mind blowing.
You are a truely beautiful, amazing, wonderful, kind, caring, sexy person and i am proud to be able to call you my friend
I didn't reply to your post straight away cos i was genuinly speachless!!!!! Who would have bloody thought it huh. You made me speachless!
I really didn't expect what i had written to make such a difference for you. I had been reading your diary over the week, seeing you get lower and lower but was in such a shit place myself that i felt i couldn't word what i wanted to say properly. I felt so much better yesterday so made a coffee and sat down to rant at you
I will be perfectly honest and tell you that i was being selfish!! I want you to stay, posting on your diary and just generally being here. That's why i posted, i just sort of got a bit carried away You, Ruthie and Jess have been here for me from the beginning and i have loved reading about all your lives, the good and the bad, we have all had some massive ups and downs. I just know, for me it wouldn't be the same if you were not here. YOU have changed my life!!!! You have no idea how totally different i am since being here and having you guys here for me. You all say that i have done this but i KNOW you guys have done this. I didn't see your facebook comment til this morning And OMG!!!! Thank you
I was so embarassed.... I felt like going 'ssshhhhhhhh' I haven't done anything. It was a lovely thing to do, thank you from the bottom of my heart, it does amaze me that i actually mean something to other people and seeing as i have never met you and you think that, it's mind blowing. You are a truely beautiful, amazing, wonderful, kind, caring, sexy
person and i am proud to be able to call you my friend
decisionmaker
New member
A"You are a truely beautiful, amazing, wonderful, kind, caring, sexy person and i am proud to be able to call you my friend "
Now how could I ever leave when I have you saying things like that to me! I feel as if we could both spend forever saying how great each of us is YOU ARE! no, YOU are! hehehe. I am glad that I embarrassed you on facebook I can't thank you enough for taking time out of your funk to come and help me out of my funk.
________
TODAY
I feel better. Healed. I've taken some action. I've talked to dunc about my German and written emails to the organisers and I'm sorting out different times and dates so that I can definitely do yoga. I want to do yoga two times a week too, and I'd love to get into the swimming too... I know this will make me feel better. I've also talked to dunc about how I'm feeling overwhelmed about all the options that are available here in Switzerland for giving birth and classes, etc... so we sat down together and came up with a bunch of questions for our ob/gyn for Tuesday.
FOOD
- small white baguette with cheese and orange juice (I made porridge with the usual but then the milk was off... bugger. EW. And we were in a rush to head out, so just had to grab something)
- 1/2 a small popcorn
- 4 oven baked fish nuggets and leftover roasted veggies
- another small white baguette with cheese
- ANOTHER small white baguette with MORE cheese (no comment)
- Thai yellow chicken and veg curry with basmati rice
12 WEEKS PREGNANT PHOTO
WARNING! WARNING! This is what I look like when I have just jumped out of bed. I can't believe I'm putting this up in public, but cest la vie - I'm pregnant - you get what you get!
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/309592/width/279/height/700
Now how could I ever leave when I have you saying things like that to me! I feel as if we could both spend forever saying how great each of us is
YOU ARE! no, YOU are! hehehe. I am glad that I embarrassed you on facebook I can't thank you enough for taking time out of your funk to come and help me out of my funk. ________
TODAY
I feel better. Healed. I've taken some action. I've talked to dunc about my German and written emails to the organisers and I'm sorting out different times and dates so that I can definitely do yoga. I want to do yoga two times a week too, and I'd love to get into the swimming too... I know this will make me feel better. I've also talked to dunc about how I'm feeling overwhelmed about all the options that are available here in Switzerland for giving birth and classes, etc... so we sat down together and came up with a bunch of questions for our ob/gyn for Tuesday.
FOOD
- small white baguette with cheese and orange juice (I made porridge with the usual but then the milk was off... bugger. EW. And we were in a rush to head out, so just had to grab something)
- 1/2 a small popcorn
- 4 oven baked fish nuggets and leftover roasted veggies
- another small white baguette with cheese
- ANOTHER small white baguette with MORE cheese (no comment)
- Thai yellow chicken and veg curry with basmati rice
12 WEEKS PREGNANT PHOTO
WARNING! WARNING! This is what I look like when I have just jumped out of bed. I can't believe I'm putting this up in public, but cest la vie - I'm pregnant - you get what you get!
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/309592/width/279/height/700
katehunibun
New member
A Yay, i've found a way to make sure she don't bugger off and leave us
Ok, I promise not to say how wonderful you are anymore Unless you start to forget it!!!!
So chuffed that you are sorting stuff to de-stress your life a bit It will make such a difference.
So girl, you have some cheese today!!! Snigger, snigger!!!!!
Love the photo, had to turn my laptop on it's side lol. I so love your crazy hair, it looks kinda perfect though, mine looks like some animal had an overnight party in mine when i get up lol......And look at that little bump of yours.......so cute!!!
Yay, i've found a way to make sure she don't bugger off and leave us Ok, I promise not to say how wonderful you are anymore
Unless you start to forget it!!!!So chuffed that you are sorting stuff to de-stress your life a bit
It will make such a difference. So girl, you have some cheese today!!! Snigger, snigger!!!!!
Love the photo, had to turn my laptop on it's side lol. I so love your crazy hair, it looks kinda perfect though, mine looks like some animal had an overnight party in mine when i get up lol......And look at that little bump of yours.......so cute!!!
decisionmaker
New member
ASaw the Doc again for my ankle... I feel like it's getting worse again. Maybe it's the weather? And I don't feel as though the physio I'm seeing is paying any attention to the BONE problem, and just does things to fix the ligaments, but I worry this is actually causing more damange... it's hard to communicate this with her effectively though. So the doctor has referred me to an orthopaedic specialist. Which might lead to surgery... hmm... we'll see. Probably not, because of Beanie in there, but we'll see what the options are, and it'll be nice to get a real specialist to assess the issue. It's been more than 6 months now..
Meanwhile, on a related note, BLOODY HELL insurance is SO complicated in this country. Like SOOO complicated! Add to that the fact that nothing - no forms, no letters, no website, nothing - is in English, and it's a nightmare. I still am not sure exactly what I'm covered for and I hate this! *not stressing, not stressing*
I've written 1200 words today. Bingo. I've secretly signed up for NaNoWriMo, but I'm not telling anyone (you guys aren't real people, so it doesnt count) so I don't have any pressure. It's just motivation for me.
Can't wait til our (hopefully totally covered by insurance) ultrasound tomorrow!!!
_____
Kate - LOL yes, I sure did have some cheese yesterday!!! HAHA. The problem was that my man bought himself some white bread cos he gets sick of my wholemeal multigrain stuff that always goes mouldy anyway because I never end up eating it.... Turns out that if there is white bread in the house, I EAT IT! Lesson learnt. Like me and those truffles
Meanwhile, on a related note, BLOODY HELL insurance is SO complicated in this country. Like SOOO complicated! Add to that the fact that nothing - no forms, no letters, no website, nothing - is in English, and it's a nightmare. I still am not sure exactly what I'm covered for and I hate this! *not stressing, not stressing*
I've written 1200 words today. Bingo. I've secretly signed up for NaNoWriMo, but I'm not telling anyone (you guys aren't real people, so it doesnt count) so I don't have any pressure. It's just motivation for me.
Can't wait til our (hopefully totally covered by insurance) ultrasound tomorrow!!!
_____
Kate - LOL yes, I sure did have some cheese yesterday!!! HAHA. The problem was that my man bought himself some white bread cos he gets sick of my wholemeal multigrain stuff that always goes mouldy anyway because I never end up eating it.... Turns out that if there is white bread in the house, I EAT IT! Lesson learnt. Like me and those truffles
katehunibun
New member
AHello cheesy truffle monster!!!
Glad things are moving forward with your ankle, hopefully they will actually get it sorted now.
Insurance thing....Deep breath, deep breath. When you can tell others about Beanie you will be able to get them to help you read and understand the forms etc. Don't worry about it too much hun, everything will fall into place before the time comes. Deep breath sweetie.
1200 words
And there was you stressing about not managing to do 500!!!! Writing is not the sort of thing you can 'just do' you have to be in the right frame of mind. You know this, you just need to remember it when other things are blocking the 'flow' of your wonderful talent!
What is 'NaNoWriMo'???????
So so excited about tomorrow for you sweetie. Beanie will look so different......Exciting!!!! And you will get to spead the news. Life will be so different then.
Glad things are moving forward with your ankle, hopefully they will actually get it sorted now.
Insurance thing....Deep breath, deep breath. When you can tell others about Beanie you will be able to get them to help you read and understand the forms etc. Don't worry about it too much hun, everything will fall into place before the time comes. Deep breath sweetie.
1200 words And there was you stressing about not managing to do 500!!!! Writing is not the sort of thing you can 'just do' you have to be in the right frame of mind. You know this, you just need to remember it when other things are blocking the 'flow' of your wonderful talent!
What is 'NaNoWriMo'???????
So so excited about tomorrow for you sweetie. Beanie will look so different......Exciting!!!! And you will get to spead the news. Life will be so different then.
Cate
Long term member
Hi Joh, I love your cheer squad! Kate is such a sweetie, as are you. You both cheer me on & I really appreciate it. 
When I look at photos of you I see one picture & you see another. I'm exactly the same with myself. In your last photo I see your perky nose & happy face, your tousled, but lovely hair, your fit, healthy looking body, your sweet little baby belly & I think you look adorable, both loving & loved. I see the woman that Dunc wakes up to in the morning and loves. You, however, see imaginary bad bits & are way too self-critical. Sweetie, you are gorgeous! We all know it & you should too.
Well done on the writing! WOW!!! Our Mojo has returned!
Can't wait to see the new ultrasound!!!!!!! Can't wait to see the reaction from your real friends (Ha ha)
Much love, xoxo Cate
PS White bread is not food. It's rubbish! Duncan- what are you thinking about? Do you have a freezer? Bread freezes really well & you both could have fresh rolls easily that way?
When I look at photos of you I see one picture & you see another. I'm exactly the same with myself. In your last photo I see your perky nose & happy face, your tousled, but lovely hair, your fit, healthy looking body, your sweet little baby belly & I think you look adorable, both loving & loved. I see the woman that Dunc wakes up to in the morning and loves. You, however, see imaginary bad bits & are way too self-critical. Sweetie, you are gorgeous! We all know it & you should too.
Well done on the writing! WOW!!! Our Mojo has returned!
Can't wait to see the new ultrasound!!!!!!! Can't wait to see the reaction from your real friends (Ha ha
)Much love, xoxo Cate
PS White bread is not food. It's rubbish! Duncan- what are you thinking about? Do you have a freezer? Bread freezes really well & you both could have fresh rolls easily that way?