The gender thing being politicized is hard for me as I am raising a girl and here in California it's cool to be "trans" if you are a teen girl. So there are whole junior high schools here locally where most of the girls identify as trans. I have trans friends, and they went through a lot as far as being miserable as their birth gender. It was not a flip fad type decision in any way. So I feel weird about the whole fad aspect.
I think that for some folks it's hard to accept trans narratives that are not centered around binary identities: AFAB trans men and AMAB trans women. (In reality, both cis and trans gender expressions defy this binary, and non-binary folks are known across cultures and history, f.e. Native American "two-spirit" individuals.) The medical accommodations are still however focused on these two options trans man or trans woman, which can make it seem like trans people who fall outside the gender binary are some kind of attention seekers, or that there's suddenly an influx of trans folks when the science quite clearly dictates that it's an inherent trait and not to be either ingrained into a person through culture, or to be removed via violent methods like conversion therapy. So most likely what you are worrying about is gender expression, not gender identity (which is inherent).
I am unsure what you (
@Marsia ) mean by transness being a sough after or cool identity "among girls". Sure, more folks might come out now than before as coming out is no longer an instantaneous social, or literal, death. But trans boys who have been assigned female at birth have existed across the globe and across cultures and historical time periods; the names used for such individuals have varied across the times and of course, being able to seek hormone treatments and surgical options are a relatively new thing. Even if some of the "girls" you are speaking about are indeed girls who end up exploring new possible identities, I have a hard time seeing any harm in this. The process to begin treatments is so incredibly draconian that no one gets to transition "by accident". On the other hand, as hormonal and surgical options are limited to binary trans people, sometimes in order to get the treatments one needs to lead a life of decent quality, it is worth it for the individual to express a binary identity, when in reality they may identify as non-binary. Young people also tend to have a strong sense of justice and a willingness to change the world, so some of the folks who are positive about trans people and express this out and proud might be allies, but to a boomer just having a trans pin on your backpack might sometimes incite a full blown trans panic.
I'm not sure how I feel about LaMa's gluten metaphor. In a way I do like it. Being forced to conform to a gender that you are not is acutely painful and shitty, as would be being forced to eat gluten while having caeliacs. But has the "gluten free fad" really made things worse for actual caeliacs? Or is it that under some circumstances you might need to tell the cook that YES I WILL SHIT MY BRAINS OUT IF THERE'S WHEAT IN THE ROUX AND I CAN'T HELP IT, and under most circumstances it's fucking great to go grocery shopping and visit a cafe where there are actual options available, and the staff knows what gluten-free even means...? Like, I don't feel my own identity as a trans man being threatened by high schoolers trying to figure themselves out. They have no power in this society anyway and absolutely no means to fuck up anyone else's life - unlike, say, unaccepting family members do, or religious authorities, or doctors who refuse to follow the science, or psychiatrists who belittle trans identities. Those are the people I rage against, not teens with trans flag pins and silly TikToks.
I try to keep myself outside of the whole trans moral panic as much as I can, because it's so clearly just one of the ways that cultural discourse is trying to readjust itself to a new reality. Now that the science is solid enough and we have enough data from the past 100 years that trans people indeed need transitioning either societally or medically to live a life of decent quality, and that it's not something that can be "transferred" culturally, and not something that can be done away with lobotomies, electroshocks, conversion therapies, shaming, and corrective rape - the only tool left in the toolbox of deeply transphobic people is to claim that it's a fad, and just something that stupid teens do because they are stupid. Trans people today are talked about the same way as suffragettes were 120 years ago, and yet, thanks to suffragettes we all AFAB folks in this thread - female or not - are able to vote.
I think the best medicine against trans panic is information. Often by someone who is not trans, because I will be accused of having an agenda either way. So here is a video essay series by a cis woman with a PHD in cognitive psychology, Cass Eris, who in this series analyzes the narrative that trans men are confused little girls with internalized misogyny issues who want to transition because they think it's cool, as the current narrative goes. It will probably be interesting and very soothing to all worried mamas out there.
Feels fun to be exotic sometimes. Having lived alone for half my life I guess my choices have become very... specific in some ways. I know my mom thinks I'm a bit of a weirdo about it! That's ok though: there's a big difference between cooking for one and cooking for a family.