Llama

:) I live alone so nobody but me messes up my order. i didn't end up doing anything spectacular yesterday (I'm... not exactly a thrill seeker but I did get off my butt and got things done. In between watching Youtubers play Zelda :p I wish that game existed outside of its bloody console because I'm not buying a console (plus a desktop computer to connect it to because the Switch' tiny screen wouldn't do the graphics justice and it doesn't connect to my laptop) for a single series of games...

If I felt as strongly about binging as I do about unnecessary spending I'd be at a perfect weight! Talked to a friend about that yesterday and my conclusion was that while all the stuff I've learned about food over the years is useful the FIRST thing after a binge - and even more after a series of them - is to simply tell myself no. I've been binging on and off for 25 years now: it's an established pattern in my brain and not completing the pattern is going to be uncomfortable no matter what. But the more time passes after a binge, the easier it gets not to do it again. So that's the goal for this week.

On my way to the park to get some greenery into my brain before breakfast. Breakfast will be leek and blue cheese soup, lunch pulled pork pitas (with airfried peppers and lettuce), and dinner probably beetroot soup with feta. Snacks can be fruit, with or without Greek yogurt, and boiled eggs.
 
Llama said:
:) I live alone so nobody but me messes up my order. i didn't end up doing anything spectacular yesterday (I'm... not exactly a thrill seeker but I did get off my butt and got things done. In between watching Youtubers play Zelda :p I wish that game existed outside of its bloody console because I'm not buying a console (plus a desktop computer to connect it to because the Switch' tiny screen wouldn't do the graphics justice and it doesn't connect to my laptop) for a single series of games...
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I think what is spectacular can be quite subjective! Today I have the house to myself all day and I do not have to leave it. So I can actually get things done around the house and that is pretty thrilling to me 😊 It really is amazing how expensive all these things can be! I have heard my brother say the same thing about Zelda, he has been a fan of that game for years!

Llama said:
If I felt as strongly about binging as I do about unnecessary spending I'd be at a perfect weight! Talked to a friend about that yesterday and my conclusion was that while all the stuff I've learned about food over the years is useful the FIRST thing after a binge - and even more after a series of them - is to simply tell myself no. I've been binging on and off for 25 years now: it's an established pattern in my brain and not completing the pattern is going to be uncomfortable no matter what. But the more time passes after a binge, the easier it gets not to do it again. So that's the goal for this week.
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It is wonderful that you have identified this. It is really a lot of work...breaking those established patterns, like you I am quite compelled to complete my patterns. I try to think of it like once we 're-set' the pattern, that maybe it will also become a habit and like you have identified...the easier it gets to not fall into old patterns again. I think that what you are doing is the real work/real key to meeting our goals! Self-talk (telling ourselves no) can be really helpful.
 
Jenefer said: I think what is spectacular can be quite subjective!

Very true. I spent most of the morning in a rainy park, enjoying the plants and critters. Literally smelling the roses. Glorious.

Didn't binge today, although I did eat quite a lot. Will probably need a couple of days of eating more than usual before my body adjusts and that's ok. My beetroot soup was surprisingly good!
Plan for tomorrow:
- Early morning gym
- Beetroot soup
- Döner pitas (meat storebought, assembly at home for portion control and added veggies)
- Bean mash wraps.
 
Llama said:
Very true. I spent most of the morning in a rainy park, enjoying the plants and critters. Literally smelling the roses. Glorious.

Didn't binge today, although I did eat quite a lot. Will probably need a couple of days of eating more than usual before my body adjusts and that's ok. My beetroot soup was surprisingly good!
Plan for tomorrow:
- Early morning gym
- Beetroot soup
- Döner pitas (meat storebought, assembly at home for portion control and added veggies)
- Bean mash wraps.
Click to expand...
That does sound glorious Llama! I love rainy days and don't seem to mind being out and about in them too much, sounds very peaceful! And I love your outlook on the eating for the day, allowing your body to adjust is a great plan. I have never had beetroot soup, I think beets are quite healthy. 😊
 
Jenefer said:
I have never had beetroot soup, I think beets are quite healthy. 😊
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With so much color they have to be :) Very earthy of course so if you don't add enough acidity it can be a bit... much.
Cate said:
What a lovely day, Llama. I'm glad you had a restorative day over the weekend xo
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Thanks Cate! I could probably have done more than I did but I did more than I might've so I'm saying I did ok.

Went to the gym, even though there was a voice at the back of my head telling me I could put it off until Wednesday morning. I think because I was just getting back into my gym rhythm before my vacation broke it up it was a little easier to get up and just do it than it would've been if I'd put it off said because vacation was coming up anyway. Stairmaster kicked my butt even worse than the first time but I didn't have the heavy feeling in my chest which I still had walking uphill yesterday. So yay me!
 
Very tired so skipping my round of the diaries today but I had a good day. When I woke up with existential angst after a nightmare at 2 am I calmed my brain by making a list of chores I really shouldn't be putting off and did the most important one this morning. Points/money for the frivolities fund! Extracurricular for tomorrow will be figuring out what to make for our picknick on Saturday. I'm thinking maybe a quiche plus some small layered kerned yogurt pots?
 
I love seeing a word I have never seen before & looking it up.
~kerned~
A picnic on Saturday sounds like fun, Llama. I hope today goes well for you & you don't have any nightmares tonight. Well done turning that angst into something productive, xo
 
Llama said: "Went to the gym, even though there was a voice at the back of my head telling me I could put it off until Wednesday morning." Absolutely fantastic Llama! This is exactly the kind of groove breaking we are both trying to do! Yay you for sure!

Glad you had a good day and I hope you have a good night's rest! ❤️
 
Llama said:
In between watching Youtubers play Zelda :p I wish that game existed outside of its bloody console because I'm not buying a console (plus a desktop computer to connect it to because the Switch' tiny screen wouldn't do the graphics justice and it doesn't connect to my laptop) for a single series of games...
Click to expand...

We have found the graphics for Zelda to be ok on the Switch and alternate between the built in switch screen and the TV depend on who had TV privileges at the time lol. Little miss tries to play Zelda but it is still too hard.
 
Thanks guys :grouphug: Kind of shaken from my previous patient who was obviously unhappy with everything I did but I couldn't figure out what they wanted me to do differently (probably due to language difficulties but they didn't seem to believe that I didn't undertand them?) and they ended up screaming at me about how incompetent I was. Not fun at all and I'm glad I could take my break after because I'm kind of a mess right now. 4 more people: fingers crossed no more difficulties.
 
Thanks :grouphug: Don't know why I reacted so strongly but I'm ok now. Hugs help! Happy news: I completely forgot but Thursday's a holiday and work will be closed Friday so it's going to be a 4-day weekend!
 
Llama said:
Don't know why I reacted so strongly but I'm ok now.
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The great bleeding started about an hour ago, so that would be it...

I did end up eating a bucket of icecream (after being so proud of not binging on getting home!) and I feel a little less bad about that now.

Plan for tomorrow:

- Gym
- Cheesy broccoli soup
- Pulled pork pita
- Bean mash wraps

The big cramping has started too, but I'm super exhausted so I think I'll sleep well and feel better in the morning.
 
I am so sorry you had such an unsettling experience! I think anyone would not have reacted well to such an experience, no matter what! Yay for a 4 day weekend indeed, hope you get a good night's sleep!
 
Thanks Cate, Jenefer, and Vic! Slept like a log. Had an intense dream about reconnecting with a childhood friend which was first stressful, then lovely, then devastating. My emotions are getting a real workout this week! Off to the gym now; will check the diaries after.
 
I'm happy you slept well, hope the dream wasn't too upsetting! Good for you to make it to the gym, starting the day off right does seem to help me stay on track! Hope you had a great day! :)
 
Thanks Jenefer and Cate :)

Had a pretty good day today and didn't reach for chocolate, icecream, or chips. Managed a little more at the gym than I did on Monday and thanks to the long weekend I'll be able to go again on Friday to really affirm that I'm back on track.

Weather no longer looks too rainy for tomorrow so I may get a hike in. If not I'll head to a museum. Wanted to try the potato crust quiche recipe I found but I realized I don't have fresh eggs and the stores will be closed tomorrow. Of course I could improvise a filling based on pureed white beans 🤔 I'm secretly not that much of a fan of eggs unless they're boiled. But cheesy beans are a delight. A shame I'm out of leek as well. A golden potato crust filled with cheesy leek and creamy beans sounds kind of amazing if you ask me. We'll see what I can come up with but whatever it is I'm kind of enjoying the creative process. And that's A Good Thing.
 
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