Kelly Ripa--healthy or too skinny??

San said:
Chef: Unless you spent some time overseas, it's unlikely that I'm one of your exes. Seriously though, those girls should get shot. I am not gay, just for the record, I'm bi. I had relationships with men and women, but I always made it a point to make sure they knew my sexual preferences from the very beginning. Using somebody by not telling them stuff like that is one of the lowest things I can possibly think of.

My last relationship with a woman was probably the most serious I ever had, and I firmly believe that we would still be together if she hadn't been killed. But that's a completely different story. In any case, I'm married now (to a man), have an autistic stepson, and while it was never what I had planned on, I'm happy with it. I never thought I would settle for a 'normal' life, but I am with a person who loves me and takes me as I am, let's me do what I want and need to do. It's difficult sometimes, mainly due to our son who makes it impossible to have any kind of social life, but it's okay. And I'm babbling and probably boring people to death, sorry.

Anyway, what I meant to say was, Chef, I'm sorry you had to go through that. But not all women are like that, there are a lot of good ones out there, and you'll find the right one eventually, believe me! :) Not all of us are so shallow that they can't look past the exterior (which I seriously doubt is as bad as you are trying to make us believe), some of us actually do believe that it's what on the inside that counts!

:grouphug:
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So, you've had quite a life, huh?

You know, after everything happened and I got to look back on it, if those two girls would've just been honest and upfront about their sexuality, we'd probably be really, really good friends today. Instead, they lied about it and made me believe something that was far from the truth. I don't know, I just don't get people. They always bitch and moan about how they want somebody to love them for who they are, to be trustworthy, upfront and honest about everything...then, they turn around and do something like keep their homosexuality a secret from their BOYFRIEND. You know? Eh, maybe I should turn gay so I won't have to deal with any more women.

baglady2713 said:
(chef re sex chat lines/texts...don't ever be tempted to waste your blummin money ...as its just as likely to be a woman your own mothers age or even older that you're talking to than it is a pretty young thing!!)
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HAHAHAHA, I would never call up a number just so I could stroke my rubbish while some random 50 year old woman talks dirty to me.
 
ChefChiTown said:
So, you've had quite a life, huh?
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You could say so. I think I mentioned some of it in my diary at some point. Nothing to be proud of really, but hey, I'm still here and still alive. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger I guess.....

ChefChiTown said:
You know, after everything happened and I got to look back on it, if those two girls would've just been honest and upfront about their sexuality, we'd probably be really, really good friends today. Instead, they lied about it and made me believe something that was far from the truth. I don't know, I just don't get people. They always bitch and moan about how they want somebody to love them for who they are, to be trustworthy, upfront and honest about everything...then, they turn around and do something like keep their homosexuality a secret from their BOYFRIEND. You know? Eh, maybe I should turn gay so I won't have to deal with any more women.
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That's what I mean. It's just wrong to lie to a person like that, especially about something like this. I don't get it either to be honest.

And I hate to burst your bubble, but gay men are just as bad....a lot of my friends are gay men, and jeez....talk about major drama more often than not. *lol* But yeah, you wouldn't have to deal with women anymore, unless you chose to of course.
 
San said:
That's what I mean. It's just wrong to lie to a person like that, especially about something like this. I don't get it either to be honest.

And I hate to burst your bubble, but gay men are just as bad....a lot of my friends are gay men, and jeez....talk about major drama more often than not. *lol* But yeah, you wouldn't have to deal with women anymore, unless you chose to of course.
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Well, they way I see it...

I'm a man. I know what a man wants. I have a penis and I'm very good at handling such equipment. So if I turned gay, I'd at least be good in the bedroom, you know?
 
ChefChiTown said:
Well, they way I see it...

I'm a man. I know what a man wants. I have a penis and I'm very good at handling such equipment. So if I turned gay, I'd at least be good in the bedroom, you know?
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Very true. Exactly the reason I get on well with girls. It's just easier if you already know the equipment and how to handle it. Even though I've been told I'm a fast learner as well.....;)
 
San said:
Very true. Exactly the reason I get on well with girls. It's just easier if you already know the equipment and how to handle it. Even though I've been told I'm a fast learner as well.....;)
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I'm a fast learner, but it's hard to get good at something when you don't ever get any practice. I haven't had access to a vagina since Bush's first term, so I'm a little rusty, to say the least.
 
ChefChiTown said:
I'm a fast learner, but it's hard to get good at something when you don't ever get any practice. I haven't had access to a vagina since Bush's first term, so I'm a little rusty, to say the least.
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Once you know how to do it, you never forget. Just like riding a biker.....;)
 
San said:
Once you know how to do it, you never forget. Just like riding a biker.....;)
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HAHAHAHA, I think women are a little more complicated than riding a bike. I mean, yeah, while I was "active", I would like to think that I was pretty good at what I did. But, it's been 7 years since then and I'm sure there's been a lot of advances in how to please a woman. In fact, I bet vaginas have even evolved since then, getting all these cool new spots to touch and stuff. I won't know what those spots are. :blush5:
 
A biker, honey, not a bike! ;)

And I can reassure you, vags are just the same now as they were 7 years ago. All the bits are still in the same place, and still pretty much function the same way. They might have given a few things fancy new names, but don't let that put you off.....I mean, let's face it, nobody really knows where the g-spot is.....I certainly haven't found it yet, and I'm supposed to have one! And if the woman knows where it is, just ask for directions, and you'll be fine.....;)
 
San said:
A biker, honey, not a bike! ;)
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Well...thankfully...I've never riden a bikeR.

San said:
And I can reassure you, vags are just the same now as they were 7 years ago. All the bits are still in the same place, and still pretty much function the same way. They might have given a few things fancy new names, but don't let that put you off.....I mean, let's face it, nobody really knows where the g-spot is.....I certainly haven't found it yet, and I'm supposed to have one! And if the woman knows where it is, just ask for directions, and you'll be fine.....;)
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You are mistaken, my child. For I know the location of the g-spot. But, I'll never tell...
 
ChefChiTown said:
I'm a fast learner, but it's hard to get good at something when you don't ever get any practice. I haven't had access to a vagina since Bush's first term, so I'm a little rusty, to say the least.
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which Bush??

i'm kidding.........i know you're only a young'un...


as for a womans g spot...oooooooh once you find it you will NEVER EVER forget where it is :)

its kind of in a bit (half a finger maybe?? LOL)...then up at the front...you'll have to find it yourself san...we all know men hate being given directions!!
 
baglady2713 said:
which Bush??

i'm kidding.........i know you're only a young'un...


as for a womans g spot...oooooooh once you find it you will NEVER EVER forget where it is :)

its kind of in a bit (half a finger maybe?? LOL)...then up at the front...you'll have to find it yourself san...we all know men hate being given directions!!
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The g-spot is right "in front" of the area that feels ribbed. Aww, I miss that...siiiiiigh.
 
you've got it!!!!!!!!!

& you're single????????? WTF??? LOL


actually i was letting san know incase she wanted to have a look for hers later!!
 
baglady2713 said:
& you're single????????? WTF??? LOL
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I KNOW, right? I also know some other really cool spots to touch. I just...I just don't have anyone to be touching. Well, except myself. But, I don't have a g-spot. Well, I have a male g-spot but it...it...eh, it's not important.
 
*lol*.....believe me, I've been looking for mine, but I think I've got the same problem as Michelley....it must be broken, doesn't do a darn thing. :(

And yeah, I know about that male g-spot....the things you can do with it.....the power it gives you if you know how to handle it.....:reddevil:

Hmm...my husband's reading over my shoulder, and seems really intent on going to bed now....wonder why.....*lol*
 
San said:
*lol*.....believe me, I've been looking for mine, but I think I've got the same problem as Michelley....it must be broken, doesn't do a darn thing. :(

And yeah, I know about that male g-spot....the things you can do with it.....the power it gives you if you know how to handle it.....:reddevil:

Hmm...my husband's reading over my shoulder, and seems really intent on going to bed now....wonder why.....*lol*
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Uhh, because he's tired? Stupid...

My ex couldn't find her own g-spot either. I mean, it kind of makes sense, because I don't think it would be very easy for a woman to reach it on herself, you know? I guess it just takes a skilled technician like myself to get the job done...

Either that, or a nicely designed vibrator. SIGH, I'm so replaceable.
 
familyweese said:
Yeah I might just have to stick with the vibrator I can think of way better things to do with a banana.
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I hate bananas. They're one of those foods that I don't like eating. I also don't like olives. But, that's not very interesting, is it?
 
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