Kelly Ripa--healthy or too skinny??

[Mad4Chillas]

maybe if you let her try the cucumber/courgette on you first she might agree??
(ok ok...you say its on the small side...so what about a raw carrot?? LOL)

Hahahaa

I would much rather have chefs penis in my ass then a vegetable! Wtf--

And not because the vegetable would be smaller....

 

[baglady2713]

Let her try it on ME?!?!?! Eh, ok. I'd prefer if she started with a finger. Then, maybe we could work up to bigger things. Like a shampoo bottle.

hmmmm shampoo bottle is a bit of a jump from carrot...& it came to you so quickly...........

so what type of shampoo bottle do you use?? & couldn't you do yourself some damage?!!

 

[ChefChiTown]

Hahahaa

I would much rather have chefs penis in my ass then a vegetable! Wtf--

And not because the vegetable would be smaller....

I'm going to print that out and tape it on the wall above my bed. That is honestly the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me. I'm going to look at while I stroke, because it makes me happy.

hmmmm shampoo bottle is a bit of a jump from carrot...& it came to you so quickly...........

so what type of shampoo bottle do you use?? & couldn't you do yourself some damage?!!

I would prefer a smaller shampoo bottle. I wouldn't want to try and get a big ol' Pert Plus bottle up there right away. I'd have to work up to it. Maybe...eh, maybe I could start off with one of those tiny shampoo bottles that you find in hotels and then work my way up from there.

 

[baglady2713]

yes it does...

anyone typing 'kelly ripa skinny' into google...

gets our discussion re bum sex & shampoo bottles on pag 2!!

 

[San2]

I would prefer a smaller shampoo bottle. I wouldn't want to try and get a big ol' Pert Plus bottle up there right away. I'd have to work up to it. Maybe...eh, maybe I could start off with one of those tiny shampoo bottles that you find in hotels and then work my way up from there.

I would be careful with those small bottles.....they might get lost up there and that'd be a hell of a job explaining that one to a doctor....*lol*

 

[San2]

As for the two hours - that includes massage (yes, I actually do get them frequently), messing around with toys etc, and the 'main course'. It's not like we're shagging for two hours solid......well....not usually anyway......*lol*

 

[Mad4Chillas]

I'm going to print that out and tape it on the wall above my bed. That is honestly the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me. I'm going to look at while I stroke, because it makes me happy.

Lol well Im a little honored and creeped out but as long as it works for you

Im glad I can make your day a little happier ^^


and the whole google kelly ripa thing--HILARIOUS!

 

[ChefChiTown]

anyone typing 'kelly ripa skinny' into google...

gets our discussion re bum sex & shampoo bottles on pag 2!!

:Googles it:

HAHAHAHAHA, we're promoting the forum.

I would be careful with those small bottles.....they might get lost up there and that'd be a hell of a job explaining that one to a doctor....*lol*

That reminds me of the Seinfeld episode with the fusilli Jerry that George's dad gets in his butt.

My cousin's ex-wife used to work as a nursing assistant in a hospital and she told me a story once that was AWESOME. This woman came into the hospital and she was all embarassed. She said that the woman was walking kind of funny, almost bow-legged. So, they put her in a waiting room and told her to wait for the doctor.

The doctor went in, did his thing and then the woman left. Well, everybody wanted to know why she walking funny, so the doctor told them what happened. Apparently, that woman liked to take those red ketchup squeeze bottles (that you find in diners) and fill it with "homemade cum". Then, she would masturbate with it and squeeze the "cum" inside of herself, so she could feel like someone was really cumming inside of her. Well, during an orgasm, the contractions in her vagina caused a vacuum effect and it suctioned the bottle inside with such force that it got stuck. So, she was walking funny because she still had the ketchup bottle inside of her, HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Lol well Im a little honored and creeped out but as long as it works for you

Im glad I can make your day a little happier ^^


and the whole google kelly ripa thing--HILARIOUS!

Oh, well if you're going to be creeped out by it, then I won't do it. SIIIIIGH...so much for being happy.

 

[PaperAirPlanes]

My cousin's ex-wife used to work as a nursing assistant in a hospital and she told me a story once that was AWESOME. This woman came into the hospital and she was all embarassed. She said that the woman was walking kind of funny, almost bow-legged. So, they put her in a waiting room and told her to wait for the doctor.

The doctor went in, did his thing and then the woman left. Well, everybody wanted to know why she walking funny, so the doctor told them what happened. Apparently, that woman liked to take those red ketchup squeeze bottles (that you find in diners) and fill it with "homemade cum". Then, she would masturbate with it and squeeze the "cum" inside of herself, so she could feel like someone was really cumming inside of her. Well, during an orgasm, the contractions in her vagina caused a vacuum effect and it suctioned the bottle inside with such force that it got stuck. So, she was walking funny because she still had the ketchup bottle inside of her, HAHAHAHAHA!!!

OMG! thats awesome! I think you just made my day Chef!

 

[baglady2713]

:Googles it:

HAHAHAHAHA, we're promoting the forum.



That reminds me of the Seinfeld episode with the fusilli Jerry that George's dad gets in his butt.

My cousin's ex-wife used to work as a nursing assistant in a hospital and she told me a story once that was AWESOME. This woman came into the hospital and she was all embarassed. She said that the woman was walking kind of funny, almost bow-legged. So, they put her in a waiting room and told her to wait for the doctor.

The doctor went in, did his thing and then the woman left. Well, everybody wanted to know why she walking funny, so the doctor told them what happened. Apparently, that woman liked to take those red ketchup squeeze bottles (that you find in diners) and fill it with "homemade cum". Then, she would masturbate with it and squeeze the "cum" inside of herself, so she could feel like someone was really cumming inside of her. Well, during an orgasm, the contractions in her vagina caused a vacuum effect and it suctioned the bottle inside with such force that it got stuck. So, she was walking funny because she still had the ketchup bottle inside of her, HAHAHAHAHA!!!

OMG!!!!!
i will never ever look at squeezy ketchup bottles in quite the same way!!! LOL

talking of private parts....& vacuums..........


IT NOT A MYTH!!!!!

my sister is a nurse...........

yes she really is...

& YES MEN REALLY DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mad4Chillas]

:Googles it:

HAHAHAHAHA, we're promoting the forum.



That reminds me of the Seinfeld episode with the fusilli Jerry that George's dad gets in his butt.

My cousin's ex-wife used to work as a nursing assistant in a hospital and she told me a story once that was AWESOME. This woman came into the hospital and she was all embarassed. She said that the woman was walking kind of funny, almost bow-legged. So, they put her in a waiting room and told her to wait for the doctor.

The doctor went in, did his thing and then the woman left. Well, everybody wanted to know why she walking funny, so the doctor told them what happened. Apparently, that woman liked to take those red ketchup squeeze bottles (that you find in diners) and fill it with "homemade cum". Then, she would masturbate with it and squeeze the "cum" inside of herself, so she could feel like someone was really cumming inside of her. Well, during an orgasm, the contractions in her vagina caused a vacuum effect and it suctioned the bottle inside with such force that it got stuck. So, she was walking funny because she still had the ketchup bottle inside of her, HAHAHAHAHA!!!



Oh, well if you're going to be creeped out by it, then I won't do it. SIIIIIGH...so much for being happy.

That is the strangest story Ive heard...was I the only one curious of what she used to make "homeade cum"?? That just sounds weird!

Haha well I suppose I can retract the creepiness if it makes you happy. I hate disappointing people and I can never say no to anyone, so you have my approval lol.

 

[ChefChiTown]

YES MEN REALLY DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHO TOLD YOU?!?!?! I mean...

That is the strangest story Ive heard...was I the only one curious of what she used to make "homeade cum"?? That just sounds weird!

Haha well I suppose I can retract the creepiness if it makes you happy. I hate disappointing people and I can never say no to anyone, so you have my approval lol.

No, I won't do it. It's fine. SIIIIIGH...I'll just continue to be sad and lonely I guess.

PS - Yogurt, maybe? Eh, I don't know.

 

[familyweese]

Damn I leave for a few hours and when I get back theres 2 pages all about Chef and vegetables and then yall talk about shoving things in the rear. My god what am I gonna do with yall.

 

[baglady2713]

As for the two hours - that includes massage (yes, I actually do get them frequently), messing around with toys etc, and the 'main course'. It's not like we're shagging for two hours solid......well....not usually anyway......*lol*

is this every time???????????
jesus!!!??

i'm all for quickies aswell...i'm lazy like that...as sometimes nothing better than oooooh just being taken very manly like over the table...from behind...

NB FROM NOT IN THE BEHIND...ie the rear/arse...ass if you like LOL
i don't like anything that might make my eyes water.............

as for toys...i've never really used them with partners...i prefer my man down there himself...with his fingers & tongue...not bloody slacking off!!! then again...i am a bit greedy with oral...its the only time i don't feel the urge to eat food hahaha b/c my mind really is elsewhere....but i'm not totally selfish i do reciprocate...just not as much...i have a cup that says it all...

she knew how to please a man but most days she chose not to

 

[San2]

Damn I leave for a few hours and when I get back theres 2 pages all about Chef and vegetables and then yall talk about shoving things in the rear. My god what am I gonna do with yall.

Hmmm....I could think of a thing or two....if you're up for it!

 

[ChefChiTown]

Damn I leave for a few hours and when I get back theres 2 pages all about Chef and vegetables and then yall talk about shoving things in the rear. My god what am I gonna do with yall.

I've been a terrible influence on this forum. I'm corrupting everybody...MMMWWWUUUAHAHAHA!!!

is this every time???????????
jesus!!!??

i'm all for quickies aswell...i'm lazy like that...as sometimes nothing better than oooooh just being taken very manly like over the table...from behind...

NB FROM NOT IN THE BEHIND...ie the rear/arse...ass if you like LOL
i don't like anything that might make my eyes water.............

as for toys...i've never really used them with partners...i prefer my man down there himself...with his fingers & tongue...not bloody slacking off!!! then again...i am a bit greedy with oral...its the only time i don't feel the urge to eat food hahaha b/c my mind really is elsewhere....but i'm not totally selfish i do reciprocate...just not as much...i have a cup that says it all...

she knew how to please a man but most days she chose not to

My ex liked using a vibrator with me sometimes. It made me feel...eh, unneeded? But, the weird thing is...she NEVER used it alone. Which, was kind of weird, but, whatever. Just another reason why I'll never understand women.

Hmmm....I could think of a thing or two....if you're up for it!

Only a thing or two? I have like a thousand ideas. Some good, some bad, some disgusting...

 

[San2]

is this every time???????????
jesus!!!??

...

Nope, in all honesty, it's not every time. Depends on the mood and a whole load of other things. Quickies are nice as well, and fortunately we've got sturdy furniture....*lol*....guess it's a good thing that we still feel the urge to rip each other's clothes off and have a go at it in the middle of the day after being married for three years....*lol*

And I don't mind my eyes watering occasionally....ifyouknowwhatImean....*gg*

The toys are in addition, not as a replacement. They can be fun, but again, not all the time....again with the mood thing.

 

[San2]

Wow you two scare me. I'm not sure if I should run away or say hell yeah and jump in ass first lol.

*lol*....I'd be careful about the 'ass first' bit ....you might get more than you bargained for. You never know which shampoo bottle Chef is experimenting with.....*lmao*

 

[baglady2713]

and the whole google kelly ripa thing--HILARIOUS!

tbh i have absolutely no idea how this thread got from kelly ripa too skinny... to things stuck up/in vaginas/bums.....

i possibly did have something to do with the joke thread being taken over at one time by talk by of PMT & the taste of semen/lady juices...but no clue about how all this started!! LOL

 

[familyweese]

Hmmm....I could think of a thing or two....if you're up for it!

Only a thing or two? I have like a thousand ideas. Some good, some bad, some disgusting...

Wow you two scare me sometimes lol. I'm not sure if I should run away or jump in screaming hell yea ass first.