Kaitie's Open Diary

OMH I've been sick and then find and then sick all week----it's freakin' crazy.

School's great! I had a group of 3rd graders today for violin, it was their first ever lesson and holy crap, all 5 of them walked out of that 40 minute lesson playing Mary Had A Little Lamb---this is extremely uncommon, in fact in my twelve years of teaching it has never happened. I'm very impressed!!! The next group (which is twice as big) did almost as well, if we had 10 more minutes they probably could've gotten to MHaLL but alas it's their homework and hopefully they'll knock me off my chair next week with their accomplishments.
 
Hmm....it's been quite a long time since I've written in my diary....weight issue is actually not a issue, I'm still doing great. Happy and content at 145, only a little gain over the holidays but I'll be back there soon.

So really, I'm not here to talk about weight, I just need to get a whole crap load of stuff off my chest....so sorry.

*Rant*

John is dilusional. He seems to think that everything is honky-dori when in actuality I just want to beat the crap out of him. I've put up with the same b.s. for 8 years and it's not changing---he seems to think that this last little mis-step of his isn't so terrible but when you compound it with the fact that it's been an issue for 8 years and not just this little bit that he didn't do well, I'm really mad. Pissed off actually. So upset that I just want to runaway...leave for a while. I've told him for years that it bothers me and he just doesn't get it...how can you expect me to hang around? How can we ever have kids it you don't resolve this issue---it's a physical impossibilty and holy $hit am I telling you that if one more person asks me 'so when are you going to have kids' I'm going to flip a freakin' lid. As if it doesn't suck already that I'm 35, married to a freakin' morbidly obese guy, AND -----Grr. If I had known about this particular issue with fat men I never would have married him. Screw religion about no pre-marital sex...it's better to know all of the information up front. 8 years.
 
you have to do what's right for you... you've got your future happiness on the line.. and your goals and dreams and all that...

sometimes you've done all you can and there comes time when it is time to cut your losses and just move on with your life...
 
Wow girl:hug2:That was pretty emotional post:hug2:Im sorry for all your dealing with...it isgod to see you post again but im with Joe to ad it isnt on better terms.
 
Ok so here's the deal. I eat right during AF and O, then stop during L so as to not inhibit any chances of C which makes me of course gain weight. It's been this way for 3 months now and I can't stand it. I know they say to not do rigorous exercise when ttc, but I just can't let myself gain 3 pounds every cycle---it's too much! So back to the grind stone and yes, I'll limit the weights during the L but I can't just stop all my exercise. I refuse to buy clothes a size bigger--I won't be fat again. The whole purpose of losing the weight in the first place was so that I wouldn't be a fat pregnant woman. Ain't gonna happen. I'm going to stay a skinny minny until the little egg gives me permission to gain weight.

Ok.
 
Oh boogers!!

The district is cutting positions and of course, me being 5 months away from being tenured could face the chopping block....oh joy. Grrr....
 
eek thats scarey news. tell them you are pregnant! they cant sack you if you are pregnant so a friend told me, because otherwise it looks biased or some shit or because you arnt elegable for maternity leave. My friend miscarried right after they cut positions unfortunatly, but at least she kept her job.
 
Today's been fine, the teachers all have this deer-in-headlights look on their faces today and I finally just told them to stop looking so morose, it was making me feel worse. I really don't know why they're all scared, I'm the music teacher--the expendable position!

Gotta go, munchkins are here.
 
Ok, so I don't know why the principal made the 'scary' announcement when everyone else in the district is saying that nothing is settled until the governor's proposal is voted on AND that the plan that was given to us was the worst case scenario plan...so who freakin' knows whats going on at this point.

Well, 2 of the wretched pounds that I had gained are now off...so that's a good thing.
 
Today was alright, I had a not so good piece of cake to be "nice" to the people who invited me over their house to scrapbook and then I went to a friends house and totally ate too much food, plus the most amazing piece of chocolate cate I'd ever had----so freakin' yummy!!!! I was also super irritable today, idk why.
 
hehe thats one thing im definatly appretiating now im near my goal, though i still have to check im not going overboard. Cyclings helped tons because i know ive burnt 2000 calories that day so a 300 cal bit of cake wont make much of a dent.
 
umm about 900 calories an hour usually, though i think it overestimates. It works out to be 36-38 calories per km i think i worked out once. But often ill do up to 5 hours at a time on the weekend. Hence why i get frustrated when i cant do my weekend rides and big calorie burns!
 
900 calories an hour????? I do 20 minutes and it's only 150---an hour would only be 450! You must be going really fast at a super hard level. I'm a little jealous about the amount of calories you burn and yet not at all jealous about all that hard work! LOL, of course this is probably why you're losing weight on a consistent basis!
 
Oh good luck. I remember being untenured when our school dropped 17 spots. Hang in there :) Wishes--I've seen teachers get fired for being pregnant. They weren't fired for that reason officially, but when positions were cut the principal chopped the teacher that they knew would be out for awhile. Its not fair, but it happens.
 
Kaitie said:
900 calories an hour????? I do 20 minutes and it's only 150---an hour would only be 450! You must be going really fast at a super hard level. I'm a little jealous about the amount of calories you burn and yet not at all jealous about all that hard work! LOL, of course this is probably why you're losing weight on a consistent basis!
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Actually ive only lost about 25lb in the last 7 months. Im working on maintainance diet and loosing weight from exercise alone.
I dont see cycling as exercise, but as a sport which will keep me maintaining and allow me to eat my cake as well :)

Yeah, its hard work at 900ish calories an hour, though im still not sure i believe its as much as my fancy expensive HR thing says, but probably more like 600ish. But either way its all good. Its all about heart rate, and once you get to a particular fitness its actually easy to maintain that speed/level.

I cycle with a higher HR than most guys ive found, and my resting HR is like 40-45 which is lower than usual. Im getting a Heart test done weds so it will be interesting to see if thats normal.
 
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