Kaika's Krap

Not too much going on yesterday. I did my usuall work out, ate pretty well (I picked a LITTLE, gotta stop doing that) but man was I in a bad mood and then I was in a bad mood again this morning when I got up. Not sure what my problem is. Not sure if it's hormones or the dieting or both. Probably both. That coupled with the fact that I was board as hell didn't help much either. Anyway, just trying to stay on track today.
 
Having a bit of an anxious day but I had a good, healthy breakfast and uping my calories seems to working with my weight loss. Got on the scale this morning and I'm down to 201, woo hoo! My official wiegh in day isn't until Sunday so I won't be changing my ticker until then but man, I was starting to get a bit worried about not losing any more. Once again, invaluble advice that I found here on this forum. I'm so thankful for it. Now if I can only get passed this anxiety today, YUCK!
 
Did pretty good yesterday and not too bad today except I haven't excersised yet. I'm thinking of going for a walk later. Also, I had pizza for lunch but I totally watched it. I only had two small slices and then I had some raw veggies, so I'm doing all right. Probably not one of my better days but definitely not one of my worst. I usually have my excersice done by now too. I'm not too worried about it though. I highly doubt I'll allow myself to fall off the wagon even if I don't get any excersise in today. I feel lazy.
 
Thanks mal. God I need this place sometimes. Like I said previously, had I fallen of the wagon before, I would not get back on it. This place has helped me realize that you need those days once in a while. I can't tell you what a help that's been.

Anyway, not only did I have a pizza for lunch but I also had baked, cheese ravioli for dinner. I didn't eat all of it, a bit more than half (they don't give you very big portions at the place I got it from, thank God) and I only got in 10 minutes of walking yesterday. I also woke up pretty bloated from all the sodium in the ravioli but I of course had to finish the rest of it off for breakfast, it was just so good. Time to get back to it for the rest of the day though. I'm figuring out my meal plan for the rest of the day as I type this.

God, don't let me get off track this time.
 
The last couple of days have just not been working well for me. Heck this whole week has been an on and off battle for me. I did 25 minutes of cardio yesterday but my eating just wasn't conductive to losing wieght. Once again it wasn't horrible, I had a healthy dinner and a decent lunch but the easter candy got me. I didn't totally pig out on it but I had more that I should have. It's not going to break me but it certainly won't help me lose weight either. I only bought a couple of little things for the kids so there isn't much around the house (they're too old for easter baskets anyway) but I of course dipped into it. I still haven't gotten a visit from aunt flo either. I wish I would but it looks like I'll be skipping it all together this month.

I think I'm just going to take it easy until after easter. Not that we have any dinners or family gatherings planned or anything but I think I need a day or two to kind of re-evaluate myself and take a break. I'll still be journaling but I have to figure something out here because for some reason, what I've been doing this week is just not working.

On a side note, my daughter started excersising, I'm glad I could be a good influence on her. :)
 
Still on break. Made an excellent dinner! I was kind of surprised about how much I ate though. I had very small servings of everything, well, except for dessert. That cake was just too good to only have a small piece. Anyway, I just didn't feel the need and had no desire to stuff myself silly like I usually do on holidays. I literally ate myself sick one Easter a few years ago, but in a way it was good because it prompted me to lose 30 pounds at that time. However, I am not going back to that. Tomorrow, it's right back to healthy eating, portion control and excersise.

I have to admit, I needed this break. Maybe that was one of my problems all along. I never would allow myself a break before and if I ever did "fall off the wagon" I never got back on it. I don't consider this falling off at all this time, I simply consider it giving myself a break. A mini vacation if you will. I also know now that I have to incorporate my new way of eating and excersise into my everyday life even after I reach my goal which because of what I've been learning this time, isn't going to be a problem.

Yes this little break seems to have done me some good. I just hope when I do get back to it, I start losing again. I hate to either not see the scale move, or see it pop back up if I do lose. Man, that's annoying.

EDIT: Speaking of which, I will not be moving my ticker today. That 201 just didn't last long enough for me to do that. :mad:
 
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Okay, did pretty good on my eating yesterday but I didn't excersise. Time for me to get up off my bum and do some today, that's for sure.

It is time to get back to it, I am ready. :)

Edit: Did my half hour excerside on lunch! Ate a good low cal breafast and a good low cal lunch and I have a good low cal, healthy dinner all planned out. I'm baaaaaaaack!
 
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Did really good yesterday and plan on doing just as well today.

Those few days off did me a world of good, I was so burnt out on everything, I really needed a break. Now I feel ready to go again. :)

Now, let me see if I can break this damn 200 mark. What I wouldn't give to wiegh 100 something again. sigh
 
I'm about ready to give up. Granted, I didn't do the greatest last week all though I did do good yesterday but I looked at my weigh ins on the calander and I haven't lost a thing in over two weeks or should I say, the few pounds I did lose, came right back. Then I get out the measuring tape and see that I gained a 1/2 inch on my waist. I also have an anxiety disorder, does anyone know what it's like to try and excersise with an anxiety disorder? Long story short when a person gets anxious, their heart pounds and their breathing gets fast for no reason, it's a very uncomfortable feeling. As you all know, when you excerise these things happen as well which can make an anxious person very uncomfortable. I get panicky when I excersise because of this but I do it anyway all most everyday and I sometimes have to force myself to finish because of my nerves but what good is it doing me? I got on the scale and I was up a pound, that and I still haven't gotten my period which I know is hindering my progress and making this pretty %*#@ hard to stick with.

Why does this have to be such a struggle? :(
 
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sleeplessinsc said:
well you are sooooo close to onederland, it wont be long now:D keep it up your on your way!
Click to expand...

Thanks Sleepless, I really appreciate the sentiment. it seems I've been close for about 3 weeks now and to no avail. God this is hard sometimes. I do appreciate your encouragement though, thank you for that.
 
Okay I FINALLY got my period, thank God. I know the fact that I didn't get it was hindering my weight loss because my body wasn't releasing anything, damn water wieght. Oh but I didn't give up. I was really good yesterday inspite of my mood. I ate well and excerised just like I should, I just get so frustrated sometimes (as I'm sure you guys can relate) that I sometimes I need to vent.

I just want to say thanks to this forum for allowing me to do that, I still don't think I would be staying on track with out it, and a very special thanks to my beautiful angel for staying with me and helping me through all of this, I love you.
 
Hi Kaika...one thing thing I know is that we all feel like giving up...and many times over at that. The diffrence in success or failure is weather you give in to the urge to give up.I lost 140+ pounds and then gave up...80 lbs came back twice as fast as I lost it! the thing is I am changing my lifestyle and habbits. It really isnt a matter of diet anymore its a matter of who I am becoming, a person who cares about themself, and has educated themself about health and nutrition! You can do this, I know for a fact you can. You just have to know that you are worth it! And you are! We all fall, we just have to get back up! No matter how many times we fall we cannot stay down...I hope you have great success, dont give up! Even if you faulter, everyday is a new day! leave yesterday behind:D
I used to have alot of anxiety and high blood pressure, I am getting better now. I hope you do too...
 
Thanks Sleepless, I totally understand what you are saying and I agree with it 100%. I guess the struggle for me isn't only the excersise, it's the number on the scale, that's the real frustrating part as I imagine it is for a lot of people. The eating change is probably the least of my problems, now that I know the right way to do it, but it's just putting in all of this hard work and getting nothing out of it since the begining of April. Don't worry though, I'm not giving up. :) I'm getting right back to it and hopefully, by the end of this month, I will have reached onederland.
 
Once again, no ticker change this week. Whatever.

EDIT: Just to let anyone reading this know I'm still not giving up, I'm just frustrated, again.
 
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In spite of my frustration, I did really well yesterday and so far today. Yesterday, I got up and got my cardio over with fairly early in the morning and when I went to a relative's birthday party later that afternoon, all I had was 1/2 a piece of cake and 1/2 scoop of ice cream and I made sure I alloted enough callories for it so I didn't go over my limit. Today, I just finished my strength training and I ate well and watched my calories and portion sizes all day. Now it's all most time for dinner so of course I'm going to eat a healthy, low carlorie dinner. Got it all planned out.

I'm moving that ticker this week, I don't care if it kills me. ;)
 
Okay, got my excersise done all ready today. Also, I've been eating healthy and watching my calories and portions, doing really good so far this week.

Get ready to move on Sunday ticker.

I will get to ONEderland by the begining of May.
 
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