JadeLynn's Weight Loss Diary

Jadelynn said:
What I have been doing is not eating the snickers bar, but eating everything else in site and probably having more calories. So I am trying to not just put things on the 'bad list' because then I actually eat more. So I am trying to not just put things on the 'bad list' because then I actually eat more.
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I think I tend to do something similar as far as emotional eating goes. Ideally I'd take a second to slow down and think things through, But I came to the conclusion that this doesn't work because I never actually get the chance to do that.

For me, I'll have a thought of 'I want to eat X food' [It'll be either something I don't normally eat, or something I can't eat because I'm over my calories for the day] and before I know it (If I don't do anything, or try to ignore it / think my way out of it) I just end up binging and eating a lot more than I probably would have if I just ate the thing I wanted on the first place.

It's a tricky situation because I haven't really learned to deal with it in the first place. So far my best solution is eat a lot of salad / bulky food, and hopefully being full and avoid craving and that situation altogether.

Glad to see you back Jade, and good luck on the new journey! :)
 
Thank you Quercus...it has indeed been stressful. Nothing has been announced yet, but because of my position there, I am a bit more in the know. It is no fun!

Athala-thank you for taking the time to let me know that I am not alone in this mindset! Always nice to read your insight on things!

So my workout went really well, food did not today. But I weighed myself on one of those scales that they have in doctor's offices. I kept my shoes on and I had just eaten lunch, so thought I'd be heavier, but I wasn't. So thank goodness for small favors!

The weather is cooler and I run so much better when it is like this. Ran 5 miles this morning. It felt pretty good. Went for 2 bike rides each about 7 miles as well. I'd hate to see how much more I'd weigh if I didn't exercise the way that I do.

Gotta be up by at least 4:30 am tomorrow, so better call it a night.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!
 
I'm not sure why, but lately I'm having a terrible time trying to post on this forum. I keep getting signed out as I am writing, go to post..get told I need to sign in again and when I do my post is lost.

I was reading one of my first posts here and one of the things I wrote was that I have never had weight loss partners and that my weight/issues with self image have always been very private things. I still am not so sure that I know how to keep a journal. It still feels a bit odd. Maybe that is because I don't have much to say in regard to progress or what I'm doing.

I still workout every day. I have noticed that increasing my run from 3 to 5 miles seems to be making a difference. My abs are much flatter and my waist is curving in much more again. I am having a difficult time getting up in the morning, I turn my alarm off and don't even remembe doing that. So while I am running for about 40 minutes, I don't seem to have as much time to do the toning exercises.

Food is good when I have left overs to bring for lunch, when I don't then it is harder to eat healthy. But I often do have left overs, so that is good. When I have at least 2 pieces/servings of fruit I feel better too. Fruit just goes bad so fast! I will try to do a really comprehensive grocery list this weekend and make sure to have everything that I need.

I have continued to have a candybar every couple of days when I want one and that honestly seems to be okay. I do think that I was eating more by grazing on a little of this and a little of that than just eating a snickers bar and being done with it.

I'm one of those odd people that loses weight in the winter as opposed to the summer. I like the cold, I like working out in it. I seem to have more left overs because I do a lot of crockpot cooking...I guess those are the reasons why. So what I have to say is...come on colder weather!


Hope everyone is doing well!
 
I have the same problem too. What I need to do is to check the 'remember me' box so it won't log me off before I'm done writing. Otherwise the system seems to log me off after a few minutes.

Jadelynn said:
I was reading one of my first posts here and one of the things I wrote was that I have never had weight loss partners and that my weight/issues with self image have always been very private things. I still am not so sure that I know how to keep a journal. It still feels a bit odd. Maybe that is because I don't have much to say in regard to progress or what I'm doing.

I still workout every day. I have noticed that increasing my run from 3 to 5 miles seems to be making a difference. My abs are much flatter and my waist is curving in much more again. I am having a difficult time getting up in the morning, I turn my alarm off and don't even remembe doing that. So while I am running for about 40 minutes, I don't seem to have as much time to do the toning exercises.
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For me I just post a summary of the day and a food log, along with any thoughts or ideas I may have. That keeps me accountable and even if no one reads it, it's still pretty useful because I can later go back and see what worked / what didn't work, what was easier / harder and so on. I already knew to lose weight, but what I needed was to start paying attention and start making observations about my very own habits, situation and obstacles regarding weight loss. A diary helps to do that because I can always go back and start seeing patterns or drawing different conclusions and that'll help me deal with those obstacles. I really screwed myself trying to do everything 'by the book', since I would only focus on the 'theory' part and never took the time to adjust any program to myself. In that sense a diary has really helped me immensely.

Good luck and take care Jade!
 
I have a a way that seems to be motivating me to not eat too much junk. Maybe it might work for some of you too.

I found a picture of me from a couple of years ago. I don't even remember the picture being taken. I was at my friend's house, she used to live right on the beach and I was in a bikini. I have never wanted to have my picture taken in a bathing suit even when I was thin, but I'm quite happy to have found this picture. I was pretty amazed at just how thin I was. My stomach in particular was super flat and toned. Anyway... I got the picture on my cell phone and every time I want to eat horrible because I've had a bad day or whatever, I take out the picture and I look at it.

I know this sounds really kind of strange, but actually seeing what I looked like makes me realize that my body can indeed look like that. It is hard, because when I was that thin, I wasn't really trying to be, I just was. Then I became an emotional over eater. So trying to figure out how I looked like that has not really been easy. It sounds dumb, but it took me a while to identify just how many calories I was cramming in when I got upset.

So if any of you have a picture of yourself at a time when you were happy with your weight, maybe try keeping it with you and look at it when you feel like you are going to cave in.

I ordered some skinny jeans from Old Navy and I was rather pleased that I had to return them and re-order them in a smaller size, which arrived and they fit!

I'm still a long way from where I was, but this has really helped me. I sure hope it continues!
 
One of the rare occurences when you are pleased to need to return something!

Sadly, I've never been a weight that was healthy or that I was pleased with. I'll be sure to take a picture when I get there. ;)
 
This will probably be more of a rant than a journal entry :) I’m typing it first in Microsoft Word and then cutting and pasting it so that I won’t lose this, like I have lost many other things I have written.

So I hate this time of year. I really hate it. Sorry to be so bah humbug, but it stresses me out and that never helps me, because at some point in time I have become a stress eater. My fiancé is on a different freaking continent and I have no idea when things will change because he has some different business things which must be settled first and that is taking forever. It is no fun being in this limbo. There is not much that he can do, it is all up to the government to make things happen.

I have noticed several people here are also stress eaters and it is so frustrating to do something…know you are doing it and that you will feel so much worse, yet you keep doing it. I’m sure all of us stress eaters feel like this.

I am also an introverted person, lots of people interaction drains me. And my work has become much more interactive because my boss is a huge extrovert. She is also extremely disorganized and wastes lots of time. Today I was in meetings for 4 hours. Just about all of the time was a complete waste of time. And I am not exaggerating. Even she will eventually become overwhelmed with all the work that she is not doing, promise to stop doing this waste of time things and then we continue on.

One of the meetings had cookies…we were supposed to bake them. I do not like spending my personal time preparing for a meeting where I will also be wasting my time. And then of course many other people didn’t bring any cookies. So then I’m resentful because I don’t think any of us should have been bringing cookies unless for whatever reason someone wanted to and then just brought them, not like we were asked to bring them and then some did and some did not.
My exercise has been great. Then again I have always exercised way more than most people, so that is a habit. I run 5 miles a day at least 5 days a week and then the other 2 days I do something else. I also try to do abs every day, even if it is just for 5 minutes. Thank God I do this or I would be 20 pounds heavier than I am.

At one point I did not eat when I was stressed and I weighed 115 pounds. I am 5’7”. Why did this new horrible habit begin? (rhetorical, I know no one knows)

I am seriously considering not going to the Christmas Party. I don’t want to go and we even have to pay money to attend.

I also have new office ‘neighbors’ who are loud. I have always been around quiet people so that is also stressing me out.

Grrrrrr…sorry just had to get all of this out of my system. If anyone bothered to read this long and pitiful post thank you!
 
Greetings fellow introvert. I read this book a few years back, and I found it to be a great way to understand myself and how to cope:

As for the Xmas party... didn't you already have a commitment with your family that night? Not that you want to go, but it's not worth the headaches from your mother/father/aunt/grandfather/sister to skip out.
 
I stopped offering excuses and just say no to the xmas parties. I would certainly not go if I had to pay. Rant all you like Jade it's your diary!

It really sucks that your fiancé is so far away.

Do what you want with the work party. Work is work and that's why they have to pay you to go there. Paying to go to work is BS. Even if it's eating and drinking it's still the same people talking the same bull as in the office. Maybe these things are actually enjoyable to some people, but mostly I think people feel obligated so they pig out and drink a lot in an attempt to recoup for a wasted evening. No thanks.
 
Thanks guys for the support! It is so nice to pop on here and see encouraging words, sometimes this is a lonely battle, I do not talk to people about my unhappiness with the 20 pounds that I gained.

LJ- Hi fellow introvert :waving: I bought that book, looking forward to reading it!

Quercus - "Paying to go to work is BS" Love that and you are right! The deadline to sign up is Thursday, I don't see myself signing up. It is nice to know that others feel the same way as I do!

Today about 3pm I got really bad sugar cravings and then I remembered that the craving was coming from the fact that I had been 'poisoning' my body for the last three days and that the urges will get much less if I stop doing that! So I struggled through it and am pretty proud of that. Let's hope that I can continue to stop and think about why I am feeling a certain way instead of just reacting!

Hope Everyone is feeling good and recovering from the Horror of the Holidays :)
 
I agree, it is nice to have a sounding board. Most people in my life are at a much healthier weight or aren't interested in bettering themselves. The former just don't understand what it's like and the latter don't want to hear it!

Awesome work fighting the cravings, I lost a skirmish after dinner last night, but I think I'm doing OK overall. Looking forward to your thoughts on the book!
 
I think for me LJ there is just so much shame involved. I was a fitness instructor for goodness sake! I taught people how to exercise and food just was not such an issue for me. Here I can just express myself and that really is nice. Sounds like you are doing great...I do think it is important that we learn that we can have a little treat without totally falling off of the wagon.

I read just a bit of the book before bed last night. I like the way the author writes, quite a bit. I identify with the "I'm not shy, I just don't have the energy to engage right now" kind of introvert. I will read more tonight.

Quercus I think I remembered reading in your diary how the cravings got less and that gave me some hope :) Looking forward to those weaker cavings! Didn't have any today, so that was good :) Exercise was good 5 mile run and some abs. Not a bad day :)
 
Good work fighting those cravings! Glad you like the book so far, it was great for me to understand what's going on in that walnut rolling around in my skull!
 
So I have indeed had less cravings...Yay! And the date for signing up for the Christmas party has come and gone :) I have been feeling on the verge of getting a cold, thankfully it seems that my body is fighting that off. I did yoga today instead of running because I thought that might be better for me. There is one yoga DVD that I really like because I like the music, most yoga DVDs I don't. I do like the way my triceps and quads feel hard after the DVD. Need to do more strength work.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

Am still enjoying the book LJ..thanks again for the recommendation!
 
That's awesome (except for the cold)! I may have to check out that book too. This forum is about as social and extroverted as I get.
 
Glad the cravings are diminishing & that the sign off date for the Christmas party has been & gone. CP's suck. I looked back at the book & when I read the title I actually laughed, because I would be the one you are waiting to shut up :blush5: It doesn't mean I'm bursting with self confidence by any means, but I don't think I'm introverted. Don't feel shame about where you are right now with your weight & fitness. I don't know any perfect people! Cheers, Cate.
 
Really glad you're liking the book! And good job skipping the xmas party, why spend money on something you don't want to do in order to overeat and drink?

Cate, introversion/extroversion aren't related to self-confidence, it's about whether you're recharged by alone time or social time. It was pretty cool to read that there's a physically measurable part of the brain that's larger or smaller based on introversion or extroversion (don't remember the details, but it has to do with sensitivity to surroundings).
 
That's interesting LJ. I looked up definitions & ended up doing a psychology quiz-
"Since your results indicate that you are somewhere in the middle of the extravert/introvert continuum, you tend to have qualities that fit into both ends of the spectrum. You like spending time with others, but you also enjoy having time to yourself. You might not mind being the center of attention once in a while, but you probably prefer to stay out of the spotlight on a day-to-day basis." That's me.
JadeLynn- hope you had a lovely week-end & won the battle with the cold!
 
Hi All!

It is really nice to come on here and see comments in my diary. Thanks very much for that!

Thankfully the cold never really seem to come on strong and I am happy about that!

Q-I know you have added some yoga to your routine. The one that I like is older but doesn't really seem like it and was produced by MTV.

LJ and Cate- I have been quite interested in personality traits and such for quite some time. If you are interested (and have not ever taken one) there is a test called the Myers Briggs Personality Test. It looks at different I suppose you'd call them personality traits a person can have in 4 different categories. I don't think I'm explaining that well, but there are lots of different Myers Briggs tests online that you can do for free. My company paid for staff to have this done. I am an ISTJ. Basically an introvert who gathers information through my senses and likes things to be very orderly :) Cate it sounds like the test that you took is either the same one or similar. If it is indeed the Myers Briggs what letters were you? :)

Anyone else know their Myers Briggs?

It is cold here 34 F and very windy. Even I am putting off going out there and I don't mind the cold....but that wind, ugh! So I will bundle up and off I go!

I hope you are all doing well. Avoid those holiday cookies....they are one of my major weaknesses!
 
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