JadeLynn's Weight Loss Diary

Thanks Everyone! I appreciate you all dropping by and supporting me!

Today was a true test of will and I'd say it was kind of a 50% win and 50% lose. That really doesn't make sense though :)

My job is very stressful. I am not really good at dealing with people but I tend to be a fabulous problem solver at work. I really don't care about other people's work style, until it affects me and then I do care.

Anyway...today (and yesterday) I had to clean up some other people's messes, I literally took my lunch to someone else's office because they needed my help right then. Lack of planning on someone else's part is not my problem and then I get very very resentful and angry. I just do not understand why a lot of people that I happen to work with are always talking about communication and planning, yet they completely suck at those things.

I have a terrible headache, was talking all day long (also not my thing) and I was angry. Grabbed 2 small cookies and a handful of chocolate covered blueberries. But then I stopped.

A job is a job. I want to be good at my job and I am. I have a wall full of accolades to prove that to myself, my departments exceed all standards that we are graded on, we recently were awarded the best in our organization. And while that is great, does it make me happy? Do I make more money because of it and even if my departments can achieve these things, it is not my responsibility to fix other departments.

I am a fixer. I fix, help, accommodate etc without even thinking about it. Sometimes this is detrimental to my personal happiness and I need to stop. I need to sit quietly, look at them and say.."How are you going to solve this problem?" And then say "Good luck!"

Part of my 'personal journey' involves figuring out why I have developed this pattern. I think it was because when I help them, they go away. But...they come back again :ack2: These are not reciprocal relationships..they are the all take not much give kind.

If you kept reading, thanks. If you thought "hmmmm this is rather boring and annoying" and stopped, well I don't blame you ;)

Any other fixers and problem solvers out there? I have a feeling that there are and that the frustration that comes with that level of constant energy drain might impact some of you that way that it does me..and perhaps your waistlines as well.

I did stop before anything got out of hand. Calories added was about 300 and I had a very small lunch. So that is the 50% win.

Hope everyone is well!!
 
Soooo sleepy. Had a little trouble staying on track, I always find that once I get off track it is not so simple to get back on, but nothing too terrible.

I think I am figuring out part of the reason I was so thin before, I ran 5 miles a day, 7 days a week. When I compare the calories that I burn running to any other exercise that I do, running just knocks the others out of the park. And the time it takes is the same or less. I know that I need to do other things to feel better, weights, yoga and my DVDs are all are good for my upper back, shoulders and neck. I developed pain in my rhomboid muscles from too much time on the computer and the way that I sleep.

I seriously do not have the time to work out for 2 hours a day, but I will try to incorporate longer runs more regularly. I cut back to 3 miles and that left time for other things. Those 900 calorie burn workouts though must have been a big part of keeping my weight between 125-130. I think I was slightly better with my eating as well.

This heart rate monitor has been very helpful with determining what allows me to burn the most calories.

Time to sleep. Long day.

Hope everyone is doing well!!
 
This morning I was up and out the door by 4:30 am. Did my 5 mile run. Then as I usually do on Saturday morning went for about an hour walk while I talked on the phone with Jacob. Then I took my little dog for a bike ride to the park (I have a little basket for her)..ran around with her and then biked back home. Heart rate monitor registered 1237 calories burned.

Found that I like these carmel rice cakes with some peanut butter so had that for a snack today and actually ate fish for dinner. Didn't make bad food choices today so that was also good

I wore a pair of shorts today that are rather low rise and felt comfortable in them. Some progress is being made.
 
Hi Cate...Thank you!

I have to say though I am frustrated that scale is back up a pound. I basically seem to 'play' with 4 pounds. Get so close to being in the next lower 10 lbs and boom back up a couple. I will persevere though!

Did another 5 mile run and then about an hour long walk/talk. Went to the beach which involves quite a bit of walking from the car to the beach, carrying my stuff and my little dog of course :) So we shall see what tomorrow brings.

I am trying to be mentally prepared for these up down, up down numbers. I still feel that I need to weigh very regularly I saw a quote at work about performance measures related to writing a strategic plan for a company, but it reminded me of weight loss.

“Measurement is the first step that leads to control and eventually to improvement. If you can’t measure something, you can’t understand it. If you can’t understand it, you can’t control it. If you can’t control it, you can’t improve it.” -H. James Harris

Really made a lot of sense to me. I need to understand why I gained these 20 pounds in order to control it and then improve it :)
 
Yo yo scale numbers are no fun Cate, that is for sure. Let's hope we both stabilize at a place where we are happy!


Today work out was good, scale went down a pound and then I had the worst day at work. I mean really bad. My backpack slipped off of my shoulder, it was so heavy it kind of drug me down, I went to get my balance and put my heel right in a crack in the sidewalk...I fell so hard, bam right on the sidewalk. I am seriously praying that no one saw me! I never fall! I cannot even remember the last time I fell and scraped my knee.

Pretty bad cut, hope I can still run. I really am always in such a hurry, multi-tasking, carrying too many things at once...I've got to slow down!

Did eat some junk when I came home from work, I actually just left for the day I was bleeding so badly and needed to clean up!

It was a very bad day! :(
 
That cut sounds horrible. Hope it heals up quickly for you.
My friend Eileen was proud of the fact that, like you, she never fell over when running. One day in the operating theatre, it was a long op and we were working in 2 teams. Because of the position of the tumour in the brain we were working on, we had to stand on a large platform. I was scrubbed ready to take over from her, she stepped back forgetting she was on a platform and went flat on her back. She had a soft landing though, she landed on a medical student. After that, every time she mentioned how sure footed she was, I reminded her of that day.
 
Sorry to here about your fall, Jade. It doesn't sound like you did any permanent damage.

One advantage for a guy is that when we sustain a bleeding wound it makes us look tough. Like a fierce warrior. So just tell yourself you got your scrape during an epic battle...with your backpack, I guess.

Great to have you back around!
 
Oh JL, you were in the wars! I like your thinking though, that your first thought was "Pretty bad cut, hope I can still run." GO YOU! :D
 
Yes Polly, I will have to stop thinking that I never fall. It is actually not something that I ever say :) IRL I very rarely talk about myself at all to others. I'm one of those ultra private people who listens well and speaks little.

I was a fitness instructor during college, that is how I got a free gym membership and made some extra money. I learned to be very careful because other wise it would have been easy to fall in front of an entire room of people who were indeed watching me! Step aerobics was very popular then and unless you are really paying attention it is easy to fall.

Today I practiced being more in tune with what my body was doing and really feeling each step I took, remembering that I had a hair clip in and so not to catch my purse strap on it when I put it across my body, remembering to sit very straight in my desk chair so as not to 'slouch' and strain my rhomboid muscle..things like that.

Sounds odd..but losing that 'mind body connection' is not something that I want to happen and yesterday was indeed a wake up call.

Hi there Mr.Vee! It is good to be back. Yes my backpack won that battle..I put the 'fuzzy' side of some stick on velcro on the straps to give it a bit of 'traction' and hopefully tamed the beast a bit! Won't have it sliding down my arm and dragging me down again! :)

That was my first thought Cate :) thank you for reminding me that I've still got my eye on the prize ;)

I unfortunately did not run because I was afraid it would start bleeding again. I did however do a DVD that involved weights and some lower impact cardio and then a 20 minute ab workout. Ate very well today..think I was a bit down about how badly I react to certain kinds of stress.

I am just not the kind of person that can always be rushing about and having people needing this and needing that from me. Yesterday work was just a mad house and I was running late for my daily lunch chat with Jacob, didn't put the backpack on both shoulders and bam it pulls me down. Today I was much more quiet and focused, that helped. But we don't live in a world that allows that all of the time.

I got a work text while I was at lunch. There was no urgent need. It was nothing that couldn't have been passed on via email or left me a voice mail. I didn't even respond. The world has gotten to be a place where everyone expects instant responses all of the time. Yet I really don't see how people are too much more productive..seems we are all just over taxed and making mistakes because our minds are every where. I'm not going to be so sucked in to keeping a pace that is ultimately not productive. I'm certainly not slow, but there is no need to be disorganized!

I go through this cycle a lot, get burned out and then I retreat again. Thankfully most people at work do seem to 'get it' when I have had enough and see my office door closed and don't disturb me. I then can actually do work..sitting at my desk, working on things that actually get completed :)

Although I complain about my job a lot, it is my biggest stress, I have to admit that it could be worse. The only thing better would be working from home and not having to deal with a lot of the absolute BS that comes from being in an office. Although I try not to write about it too much, I do think that this is what contributes the most to my emotional/stress eating. I hope that using some different Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Techniques will help.

Also hope that everyone had a good day and is on the path to getting where they want to go!
 
"The world has gotten to be a place where everyone expects instant responses all the time."

I hate this. I go to lunch with my girlfriends at work and they are all checking their work phones (and personal phones) the whole time. We work in accounting. I'm pretty sure the world won't end if we wait to respond to something for ONE hour.

Sorry to hear about your fall! It happens to the best of us, but I love that you're using it as a reason to get more connected.
 
Sounds like you are very much aware of your own needs, that´s a really great skill to have! I hear you on the fatigue caused by constant interaction with other people, it´s the one thing that makes my job exhausting sometimes.
 
Oaks you made me laugh because I too often think that the world won't end if people have to wait a bit. I work with a woman who is CONSTANTLY checking her phone while she is talking to people. She cannot multi-task at all and so she misses what people are saying and she misses things that are written in emails. If it wasn't so disruptive to work, it would be so funny! : )

Thank you for popping by LaMaria :) while I may be aware of my own needs, I struggle to figure out how to get them met, but I am going to keep trying! Some days I just really need quiet, that I do know for sure and on those days I produce some of my best work!

Scale was stable, which I was happy about because I didn't eat the best on Monday, was so tired Tuesday I forgot to weigh and so this morning I was not sure what it would say.

I did run this morning, my bandage did come off on one side and was kind of flapping around for the last mile, but it was dark so at least if anyone was out and about they wouldn't see it. Did some arms and abs and then off to work.

Ate pretty well today, had a peach, an apple and a side salad with the fish that I made for dinner. I do struggle with getting enough fruits and vegetables, but I am getting better with that!

Pretty sleepy tonight, 4:00 am comes pretty quickly so it is time for bed!

Hope all had a great day and that some goals were met!
 
Just writing a quick note to say that I have not fallen off of the weight loss/journal band wagon again.

Very unexpectedly one of my dogs died. She just basically collapsed in front of me. It was scary and sad. My 2 other dogs don't seem to have processed what happened yet.

This dog was a rescue and skittish for all 8 years that I had her. My little poodle is still alive and basically my best friend in the world. Makes me so nervous about this happening to her. This was devastating enough.

Anyway...might not hear much for a couple of days, but I will be back soon.
 
So sorry to hear that JL! I am really dreading the day my little Australian Silky Terrier dies. Sending you lots of love, xoC


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