Thank you so much for your kind words MrVee! I think many of us here find you to be such a source of inspiration. When I feel like quitting I do think about how you stuck with this and got such amazing results!
And to all of you who keep at it, that also makes me want to as well.
I am a perfectionist, black and white thinker all or nothing person. And so when I feel like I fail, then it seems to make it very hard to 'dig myself out' and keep going.
I left work a little early today. I did not see my boss who I really do think is emotionally unbalanced and creates a lot of chaos. I noticed I had no urge to reach for junk. It is difficult to know how to avoid her, even her emails stress me out, on a regular basis. My former boss, who retired, was a very calm and rational person.
So I began to think of something called distress tolerance. When I began running, there was a point where I had to learn to push through the pain that running can cause. Sometimes my lungs would burn and sometimes my legs were tired. But as I began to push through it, I sort of developed a tolerance for it. When you are working out there is a point when you really can go beyond that distress, I am not talking about serious pain, torn or strained muscles...nothing like that. Just the discomfort that comes as a natural part of pushing yourself. This morning it was about 100F and I knew it would be tough to run, but I pushed through. Did my 5 miles and burned 600 calories.
So I think that with situations where it is more about feeling emotional stress/anxiety...I need to learn to tolerate those distressing feelings. Maybe if I think about it like running, it will help.
I have also made a list of rules. I am pretty good with structure. And maybe when I don't give myself that structure I flounder more.
Some of my rules are:
Do not eat when you first walk through the door from work. Wait until you have changed, taken care of the dogs and are ready to eat a proper meal...not just junk food snacking. <This one will be hard for me at times>
Do not eat anything after dinner except 1 small low calorie snack (around 150 calories) Like MrVee suggested, nothing that will do a lot of caloric damage.
When upset sit quietly and try to think of something pleasant. Do not eat when upset, wait until you are calm. <This one will be really hard for me at times.>
Go to bed by 10:30 pm during the week. Exercise by 5:15 am at the latest, shower by 6:30pm. Eat breakfast before you leave.
Some of these are for specific reasons, ensuring I'm not rushed..which stresses me out etc.
And I am going back to a food journal. Seeing what I eat on paper helps. I got lazy and also probably just didn't want to face what I was going to have to write down.
So we will see how this works.
Hope you are all doing well!