It's all about me

1827

When I woke up yesterday morning I had two huge problems: my car in the shop with a suspected fuel line problem (very expensive repair) and the guy I'm nuts about out of town for another six weeks. But I was determined to stay in a positive frame of mind, spread good karma and think good thoughts. When I went to bed last night it was with my car parked happily in the driveway, with what turned out to be a relatively inexpensive ($187) electrical repair and, best of all, a phone call from DFH who actually said "I can't stand another six weeks without seeing you - what if I send you a plane ticket and you come here for a long week-end". Are you kidding me? Where did this wonderful guy come from?

Woke up before dawn just too mentally energized to sleep. Got my run in - which makes three days of running in a row but no weights - a huge deviation from my planned routine but I've just plain felt the need to run. I plan to hit the gym this p.m and get my regular wends. weights routine in. For now off to gym to lead my two little "charges" through their paces - I'm laughing to myself and thinking "I hope they've had a good nights sleep and ate their wheaties"....cause Mama's in a good mood and ready to roll - I have a little sweatin', gruntin' and whining planned in the hour.:)

Cals fine at 1827. Sat fine fine at 18g, fiber great at 41g but protein only 84g because I overestimated amount of protein in chickpeas and beefsteak. Could have increased protein to target by replacing 1 cup of chickpeas with 2 egg whites. Sat fat actually lower than it appears on report because I used ff cream cheese but entered into fitday as 1/3 fat and don't feel like changing right now. I kind of hate non-fat dairy but mixed with a little coconut milk, choco pudding, stuffed into a fillo shell and topped with chopped nuts & strawberries, the ff cream cheese isn't too bad.:rolleyes:



liquids
coffee, 8 oz
green tea, 6 oz
water, 40 oz

fruit
apple, 1 small
grapes, 10 large
strawberries, 2 extra large (giant!)
tangerine, 1 small
coconut milk, 1 tablespoon

veggies
avocado, 2 tablespoons mashed
cabbage, savoy, 1 cup cooked
recaito, 1 tablespoon
onion, purple, 1 large ring

dairy
cottage cheese, ff, 1/4 cup
cream cheese, ff, 2 tablespoons

meat
beefsteak, 6 oz

nuts/grains/seeds/legumes
chickpeas, 2 cups
almonds/hazelnuts/walnuts, 1 oz combined
multi-grain wrap, 1
mini filo shells, 14

other
pudding, ff/sf, 1 serving

Total: 1827
Fat: 82 737 43%
Sat: 28 251 15% * -10g coconut milk
Poly: 10 91 5%
Mono: 24 216 13%
Carbs: 201 639 37%
Fiber: 41 0 0%
Protein: 84 338 20%
Alcohol: 1 7 0%
 
hmmm, I have to think about this but right now I want to write it down while it's fresh on my mind and come back to it later because I think I just made a connection...

yesterday I was feeling like pudgy Poodle...there was the thought lurking in the back of my mind that I had put on a couple of pounds and I probably changed clothes 2 or 3 times 'cause I just didn't like the way I looked in anything...I swear I was seeing little pockets of chub. This morning I came back from my run feeling "extra lean" and couldn't wait to weigh myself once I hit the gym because I truly expected (despite the fact that I am not eating at a deficit) a pound or two loss from last week.

Needless to say, I weight exactly the same today as I did last week and the week before - I mean that's the whole point of maintaining. But I'm on the way home thinking that sometimes I am truly a nut case when it totally hit me - the difference between yesterday and today is a sense of control. Yesterday there were things going on that had to potential for a negative impact on my life over which I had zero control...today I feel firmly in control once again. Yesterday not so positive body image - today positive body image. There's something in that I need to wrap my head around and clarify 'cause oddly enough I think there's a link in that and the less than optimal food choices I make sometimes.
 
the difference between yesterday and today is a sense of control. Yesterday there were things going on that had to potential for a negative impact on my life over which I had zero control...today I feel firmly in control once again.
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Very well put, Cym, that IS the big difference.

And have a great trip! You deserve it.
 
Wow, excellent posts in here as of late, Cym. I am a fan. :)

And the mind is so freaking powerful. It is the origin of perception. How you perceive things is everything. It totally reflects how you will behave and feel.

You are a smart-cookie. And look at you becoming the personal trainer. You go!

:)
 
Tom/Steve: Big HA to the personal trainer thing...but I was thinking about what you guys said about not getting my hopes up and I gotta tell you the coolest thing...at least the coolest thing to me. Cause this morning (I've had quite the insightful morning - must be those post run endorphines) I was remembering how I used to have a vast underestimation of my physical limits but I had a friend smart enough to take me to the true limits (but not over the edge) of what I could really do at any point and then stand back and say "now, this is what tired really feels like"....and that's exactly what I've been trying to emulate (can you do one more rep? no? okay, let's go, two more...now that's what "can't" feels like")...and the look (yes there is a specific "look" on someone's face when they realize that they have just done something they thought was physically "impossible" is so wonderful I can't even describe it. So I decided that even if their determination/motivation to continue fails down the line, I won't be disappointed because both my friends will have the "gift" of knowing that, with a little extra effort, they can exceed their perceived limitations....and once you know that all bets are off.
 
Great way of looking at it, Cym. No matter what, something positive will come out of the experience.
 
1816

CurvyGirlie: Hi there, thanks for stopping by and leaving the kind words - I actually only read five diaries out of the multitude on this site but I'll stop by yours soon and "wave at you". Truthfully, despite Steve/Tom's nice comments from yesterday, I suspect that my diary is generally of little interest to anyone other than myself - I like to list my foods in nauseating detail from the day before, analyze the choices made and engage in a bit of navel gazing pretty much centered strictly on my own food "issues"...just my form of daily weight loss/maintenance therapy...lots cheaper than laying on a couch somewhere going "but I really don't hate my mother".:)

And, on to the navel gazing....I figured out - so can hopefully use in the future - why I tend to make sub-optimal choices when I have life problems going on beyond my control. It's sort of like the person who has a single "whoops" and thinks, "well, I've already blown my diet" and spends the rest of the day eating carelessly. Only in my case I seem to think, on a mostly sub-conscious level, "If I can't control factor A, why bother trying to control factor B" Now that I know I have the tendency to fall into that silly, destructive mindset, hopefully I'll recognize and turn it around when it comes up in the future.

Cals at 1816, sat fat at 17g, fiber at 40g and protein at 130g - it's all good. Only change would have been a serving of a dark green veggie: I have on hand turnips, cabbage, spinach and broccoli - don't know why I opted out of including any one of them. And maybe I could have snuck in a serving of carrots or a tangerine in there.

liquids
coffee, 16 oz
water, 60 oz

fruits
blueberries, 1/4 cup
apple, 1 small
coconut milk, 1 tablespoon

veggies
pumpkin, puree, 1/4 cup
onion, purple, 1/4 cup chopped
tomato, 1/4 medium fruit
avocado, 1/4 cup mashed
recaito, 1 tablespoon
pepper, red, 3 large rings
cranberries, raw 15 (just wanted to see how they tasted before drying)

dairy
ff cottage cheese, 1/2 cup
yogurt, plain, 2/3 cup
mozz, skim, 1/4 cup

meat
chicken breast, 1 cup shredded
ground turkey, 85% lean, 4 oz

grains/nuts/seeds/legumes
almonds/hazelnuts/walnuts, 1 oz combined
flax seeds, 1 tablespoon
buckwheat 2 tablespoons
multigrain wraps, 3

other
olive oil, 1 tablespoon
ff/sf pudding, 1 serving

Total: 1816
Fat: 94 846 47%
Sat: 27 244 14% - 17g from animal fat/10g coco milk
Poly: 13 113 6%
Mono: 28 250 14%
Carbs: 139 395 22%
Fiber: 40 0 0%
Protein: 130 519 29%
Alcohol: 3 21 1%
 
And, on to the navel gazing....I figured out - so can hopefully use in the future - why I tend to make sub-optimal choices when I have life problems going on beyond my control. It's sort of like the person who has a single "whoops" and thinks, "well, I've already blown my diet" and spends the rest of the day eating carelessly. Only in my case I seem to think, on a mostly sub-conscious level, "If I can't control factor A, why bother trying to control factor B" Now that I know I have the tendency to fall into that silly, destructive mindset, hopefully I'll recognize and turn it around when it comes up in the future.
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See, Cym, this is why people read your diary. Yes, there's a lot of stuff that only you care about, as there should be in most people's, but then you come across a gem like this. This is an issue that so many of us had, and is exactly the sort of thing that sabotaged me in the past.
 
I personally am a big fan of your diary!

I agree with you on body image and control. I had a "chubby" day yesterday---I just felt big all day. Then I read your post and realized that part of this may be due to the fact that I am on the brink of signing a lease for my first apartment and waiting for a callback on another job I applied for. I wish I could speed up time for a week or so just so I'd know for sure where I'll be living in a month and how I will be earning money. Reading your diary and going for a run made me feel much better. :)
 
1898

Casey: funny thing about running...no matter how stressed, irritated, or just generally "blah" I feel, a decent run always leaves me with a brighter outlook - and usually a more focused approach to tackling problems.

Tried something new yesterday...it seems to work so I think I'll run with it until I get a better handle on sat fat & fiber. While I rarely have problems staying within caloric range or meeting protein, I'm very, very inconsistent in meeting sat fat and fiber targets. Not good.

Up until this point my approach has been to set my calorie range for the day and, within those limits focus on getting my protein in and cross my fingers when I do the fitday thing - hoping sat fat is under 20g fiber over 30g. For the purpose of weight loss this approach has worked so well I would not go back and change it even if I could.

Now I'm going to still set my caloric range in the a.m., but just track sat fat rather than protein grams, eating as I normally do but when I get to the ceiling of 20g - anything containing saturated animal fat is off limits the rest of the day. Period. Sort of like Atkins in reverse. :) I expect to make a lot of "whoops" along the way - I can already see how making careless choices too early quickly places me into "vegetarian mode" for the rest of the day. But I suspect that's what it's going to take for me to finally get serious about this.

Cals at 1898, sat fat at 19g, fiber at 44g and protein at 135g. Met all targets. Happy with all food choices - except maybe the crackers which I kept shoving in my mouth just cause they were crunchy, a little salty and tasty.


liquids:
coffee, 16 oz
lemon juice, 1 oz
water, 80 oz

fruits
apple, 1 small
tangerine, 1 & 1/2 small
banana, 1/2 small
cranberries, 1/2 cup raw
apple sauce, natural, slightly under 1/2 cup
grapes, 1/2 cup

veggies
carrots, 1/2 cup shredded
spinach, 1 cup
pepper, red, 1/4 whole med. fruit
onion, purple, 1/4 cup diced
tomato, 1/4 medium fruit

dairy
cheddar, 1 oz
ff cream cheese, 4 tablespoons

meat
chicken, 1 medium breast
ground turkey, 85% lean, 4 oz
egg white, 3 large

nuts/grains/seeds/legumes
almonds/walnuts/hazelnuts, 1 oz combined
whole wheat flour, 1/3 cup
oat bran, 1 tablespoon
multigrain wraps, 2 wraps
ww saltines, 6 small crackers

other
olive oil, 1 tablespoon
sf/ff pudding, 1 serving


Total: 1898
Fat: 77 692 38%
Sat: 19 174 9%
Poly: 10 93 5%
Mono: 24 218 12%
Carbs: 192 592 32%
Fiber: 44 0 0%
Protein: 135 542 29%
Alcohol: 2 14 1%
 
Sounds like a good plan, Cym. I still don't have my macros under control like you do. I don't see how people eat 1 gm of protein per pound of body weight -- I just can't do it.
 
TomO said:
I don't see how people eat 1 gm of protein per pound of body weight -- I just can't do it.
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Funny cause that's the easy part for me: I love my meat and eggs and dairy...heck if it weren't for all those damn pesky studies linking high levels of saturated fat and low levels of fiber to cancer and heart disease I've be off happily living "la vida lo-carb":D
 
You're such an inspiration--maintaining a healthy lifestyle and your ideal weight (or I don't truly know if you consider this your ideal weight). You so smart and insightful, and even though you say your diary is not particularly exciting or whatever, like you know--it's fo you, so you can keep on track and be introspective--not for other's entertainment. Anyway, have a wonderful day and I can't rememeber the name of that form or navel hypnosis! I learned it once....
 
cals unknown

Cals & breakdown not charted over the week-end...I did keep a loosely running total of cals and protein in my head cause that's pretty much something I do on autopilot anyway, but the rest is a mystery to be never recovered...except for random fruits, pretty much all foods from restaurants, take-away or room-service so it wasn't worth driving myself nuts over since that's very much a unique situation.

At any rate my inner calculator figured I'd exceeded maint. cals each and every day of the week-end and my plan was to eat at 1600-1700 the rest of this week to balance it out...but when I jumped on the scale this morning to "survey the damage" I was actually a pound less than before I left :eek: so just going to continue plugging along at maint. cals and monitoring sat fat closely this week.

I ate far more than normal this week-end, but, it was all high in quality which I'm happy about. I've "discovered" that the unexpected neat thing about being with someone who is athletic and health aware is that I feel totally "normal" rather than "anal" about evaluating nutritional values before ordering food because I have a "partner in crime". And there's something sexy (to me at least) about a guy who'd much rather drive around scoping out a fun place to go for an evening run in the evening rather than a fun place to go drinking.

This is the last week before planned 7 day exercise break. Usually at this point I'm looking forward to the down-time, but, funny enough, I feel like I'm still gathering steam and my body is not sending its usual end of routine "give me a friggin break already" signals. I'll see how I feel Saturday and may or may not extend the routine for one more extra week before taking a break.
 
cym said:
pretty much all foods from restaurants, take-away or room-service so it wasn't worth driving myself nuts over since that's very much a unique situation....This is the last week before planned 7 day exercise break. Usually at this point I'm looking forward to the down-time, but, funny enough, I feel like I'm still gathering steam and my body is not sending its usual end of routine "give me a friggin break already" signals. I'll see how I feel Saturday and may or may not extend the routine for one more extra week before taking a break.
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It's so hard to estimate calories when you're eating out! Seven day break, huh? Wow! Enjoy! :D
 
Hi CurvieGirlie: yup, #1 reason I limit eating in restaurants to special occassions...evenutally all that guestimating will show up around my hips:) ...and I take a complete seven day break from exercise roughly every 8 weeks...when I start back it's with a complete new work-out routine, or a variation of the previous one.....for me it keeps mental/physical burn-out, boredom and adaptation at bay.

p.s. I did stop by to read your diary this a.m. - (now that's one hot read:eek: ) but I'm still having jet lag or seperation anxiety from DFH or something so I'm refraining from commenting in anyone's diary until my brain is operation again:)
 
cym said:
p.s. I did stop by to read your diary this a.m. - (now that's one hot read:eek: ) but I'm still having jet lag or seperation anxiety from DFH or something so I'm refraining from commenting in anyone's diary until my brain is operation again:)
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LOL! Have a great, healthy day, sweetie!:)
 
cym said:
...and I take a complete seven day break from exercise roughly every 8 weeks...when I start back it's with a complete new work-out routine, or a variation of the previous one.....for me it keeps mental/physical burn-out, boredom and adaptation at bay.
Click to expand...

Yes, it was Coach Steve who convinced me how important those breaks are. It did wonders for me.
 
1903

Saturated fat...the final frontier - yep I'm such a geek I quote the tag line from the old Star Trek opening....:) When I started counting and recording calories waaay back when I thought I would scream in frustration it was so tedious and more often the "wrong" totals than "right" ones...until it became automatic. Then came counting protein grams and balancing targeted protein with cals - and that seemed like a daily, frustrating chore. Until it became automatic. Then my seemingly never-going-to-end struggle to keep fiber within targeted levels. Until, yep, it became automatic too. And today, counting my sat fat grams, getting frustrated as hell because truthfully it's beyond annoying having to look everything up when I'm hungry and just want to eat darnit.

But, at the end of the day, there it is....on both days I've counted sat fat grams as I go and cut off at 20g (of sat. animal fat), I am exactly where I want to be nutritionally. Because I don't have to sweat the other stuff anymore- the calories, the protein, the healthy fats, the fiber - it's all already there, programmed into my head and requiring little effort to access. In fact, meeting fiber is even easier when I can't choose food containing sat fat.

So, I'm going to resist the urge to stick a butter knife in my eye (what I felt like doing at dinner tonight when I'd "run out" of sat fat grams) and keep at it until this too becomes automatic.

So, cals at 1903 - exactly on target. Sat fat at 22g, 19 from animal fat; fiber at 35, again exactly on target and protein at 100g; need I say it, exactly on target for amount of cals.:)



Liquid:
coffee, 16 oz
lemon juice, 1 oz
water, 80 oz

fruit:
applesauce, 1 tablespoon
mango, 1 small whole fruit
cranberries, raw, 1/4 cup

veggies:
eggplant, 1/2 whole small fruit
peppers, red, 1/4 cup diced
peppers, green, 1 med ring
onions, purple 1/4 cup diced
olives, 3 extra large
pumpkin, puree, 1/2 cup
recaito, 3 tablespoons
tomato, cherry, 1 cup

dairy:
cheddar, 1/4 cup shredded
fat free cream cheese, 4 tablespoons

meat:
oysters, 1 cup, drained
ground turkey, 85% lean, 4 oz
egg whites, 4 large

grains/nuts/seeds/legumes
whole wheat flour, 2/3 cup
flax meal 2 tablespoons
almonds/walnuts/hazelnuts, slightly under 1 oz combine
oats, rolled, raw, 1/4 cup
saltines, 2 crackers
vital wheat gluten, 1 1/2 teaspoons

other:
olive oil, 2 tablespoons
diabetic cookies, 2
sf/ff pudding, 1 serving
gelatin, plain, unflavored, 1 envelope

Total: 1903
Fat: 88 789 43%
Sat: 22 197 11%
Poly: 14 126 7%
Mono: 34 308 17%
Carbs: 195 640 35%
Fiber: 35 0 0%
Protein: 100 400 22%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%
 
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