*heavy sigh* back again

I do feel hungry often, I've just ingrained it in my head somehow that if Im not hungry I'm not going to lose weight, I feel gluttonous and bloated when I sit down and eat too much in one sitting and that feeds into my negative self image. I'm secure in my calorie counting abilities. I eat foods that are easy to figure, bread, egg, cottage cheese, veggies and such. I avoid foods that I can't identify calories, like cassaroles or baked goods without a nutrition lable, or stuff that other people cook. I rarley eat out...too much guess work and too much added fats for flavors sake. During my workout tonight I was very hungry, my tummy was growling, but I usually obstain from eating for a few hours before going to the gym anyways because I don't want a tummy ache or a stitch in my side.
 
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Iwan naloseit said:
I do feel hungry often, I've just ingrained it in my head somehow that if Im not hungry I'm not going to lose weight, I feel gluttonous and bloated when I sit down and eat too much in one sitting and that feeds into my negative self image. Its not going to be easy for sure convincing myself that I can eat more calories and still lose weight. During my workout tonight I was very hungry, my tummy was growling, but I usually obstain from eating for a few hours before going to the gym anyways because I don't want a tummy ache or a stitch in my side.
Click to expand...

Eating something small like a banana 30 minutes before a run would not give you a stitch, and that energy would probably also give you a better workout!

I found it very hard to comprehend eating more than 1200 calories a day to lose weight, but once I increased them to about 1500-1600 calories a day I found I had MUCH more energy for strength training and cardio, and I actually got down to my goal weight (118lbs) eating 1500-1600 calories per day.

If you find that you feel too full after a big meal, try spreading the meals out over the day.

EG.

8:00am - 300 Calories Breakfast
11:00am - 250 Calorie Snack
13:00 - 300 Calorie Lunch
16:00 - 250 Calorie Snack
19:00 - 350 Calorie Dinner
21:00 - 150 Calorie Snack

Total: 1600 Calories

That way you don't have a massive meal and you won't get that sick bloated feeling.
 
Iwan naloseit said:
Thanks Austin, I'll take that into consideration.
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That's alright, its all trial and error though.

Personally I love that full/satisfied feeling cause I won't go looking for more food! Thats why the 5/6 meals a day just doesn't work for me, I NEED to be satisfied, so I eat 3 larger meals.

It is different for everyone though, you just gotta make sure you get the proper nutrtition or it could be affecting your health.
 
The scale at work this morning said 189.9...with jeans, t-shirt, socks, undies and the like...dare I believe it? I will believe I'm firmly back in the 180's when I'm more midway...too much daily fluctuations to think that I could possible have gained two lbs and lost 3.5 this week. But what good motivation to behave myself today.

I'm on day two of a really soar throat. If it still hurts at 4pm I'm going to have a culture done. I have chronic problems with strep and toncillitis and really should have my toncils taken out but have to establish the "chronic" diagnosis medically. Usually when I get strep I just get a shot of pen in the bum, but last time I had a severe allergic reaction so if I do have again I'll have to take pills that will kill my tummy and screw up my natural floura...hate that.

My plans for today are 1100 calories or more, cardio for 60 minutes or more, and my man better call me today or I'm going to be crushed. He was supposed to call me back last night but never did, which put me in a bad mood and I slept terribly and had nightmares. I think the nightmares were more from watching Charmed before I went to bed though.
 
Hi Iwan,

I stumbled upon your diary....and we are in the same boat....I just started re-posting and back on the plan too. Maybe we can inspire one another...I sure can relate to all the feelings that you posted.

Hope you can get on some meds and feel better soon from the strep!

Beth
 
Thanks for stopping by! I'd play the good hostess and offer you some tea, but this is cyber space and liquids may fry the electrical components...

I'm open to any and all inspiration! And I did get some meds and some acidophilus so the meds don't make me feel worse. I hate antibiotics.
 
Iwan :)

I have to say, you have the gift of gab. You have a very entertaining slant to your writing/entries. Very fun to read.

I hope you're feeling better (I never had strep :p ) soon and that it doesn't impact your weight loss routine too hard. Congrats so far!!! You're doing so well, so keep at it!

I few entries back you mentioned you watched Charmed, which is funny because I used to watch it all the time. That and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dresden Files, Mutant X - hahaha. I was just curious if you had ever seen that show called Heroes? If not I totally recommend it! Great dark/serious/plausible story arks with a creative fantastical slant.
 
AceofSpades: I havn't seen or heard of Heros before, I'll have to check it out. I don't watch a ton of tv, in fact, I had been cable free for 4 years before my parents temporarily moved in, they can't live without constant distraction so they had the house wired. They move out very soon, within the next few days and I can't wait to have that cable cut out of my life. I do rent tv series from our local library so maybe they have it. Otherwise I'm sure I can find it on netflix. Thanks for stopping by!

K, tomorrow is the big day, starting the couch to 5K program! I've been looking for a 5K run locally as a goal race, but the closest one is called the Polar Bear run and isn't till January. There is a half marathon called the Summers Bay Classic, but that run literally goes up a mountain pass and back down...oofda...won't even think about that right now. If I wanted to kill myself, that sounds like a plausable way.

My man finally called me last night. He's taking a road trip starting today (probably already on the road) with his best friend and his two son's. They are driving a VW Bug from San Francisco to Texas and back. I'm so jealous. And I miss him terribly. He's been gone for just over a month and its killing me. Just three months to go till I can get my snuggles.

I'm not feeling much better today. Strep sucks. Last night I could barly swallow my own spit. My grandma, bless her heart, came over and made me swallow Chudax, which is fermented sea lion fat, on raw halibut. She swears by it. It STINKS! Not to mention its very calorie dense, being fat. The oil was to coat my throat, which it did and the raw halibut because it has more vitamin C then any other food on earth. I had for lunch a huge bowl of a cream based soup and the same thing for dinner plus the horrible chudax, and many many cups of lemon and honey tea, I'm estimating my calories at 1795. That the highest calorie count in over a week. And being sick, I didn't do cardio, but come hell or high water I will be doing it today, sick or not.
 
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:cool:Hi Iwan!

The meds should help ya within 24 hours! You grandmother's remedy certainly made my stomach turn :puke: At least it could have been figure friendly, ya know?


take care of yourself!

Beth
 
Ya, that stuff is pretty icky...I swear I can still smell it and taste it. Its looking more and more like I wont be making it to cardio or weight training today. I have a fever, still can barly swallow without that cloroseptic spray and my son is now exhibiting signs of not being well. Obsticles, they are everywhere. We'll at least get a walk in today. I'd hate to reverse all the progress I've made. Who knows, maybe I can find a babysitter to watch my son so I can at least get the strength training in with my friend. He's at the gym always at 6:30p, I'd hate to let him down with a silly excuse like "I'm sick", because he is a total hardass and will give me loads of shit for that. I can just hear him now: "wear a mask, bring some lysol, get your lazy ass in gear!"
 
update on the weekend: I made it to strength training on saturday, had a great time. I don't think I've laughed so hard in months. Sunday, I got hit hard by the strep again, the antibiotics they gave me must not be doing the trick. Had to help my parents move their stuff to their new house too. I was so sick yesterday, checked my temp around 3pm while I was talking to my honey on the phone, it was 103! I went to bed after that and stayed there till I had to get up for work this am. I really wanted to take the day off but we are holding specialty clinics with visiting providers today so it will be hell week here.
I haven't weighed myself today, or yesterday. So I've no idea where I am on the weight spectrum. I just kinda want to curl up and die right now I feel so crappy.
 
I found this in my old diary...its very motivating for me bacause right now I'm about 15 lbs heavier then in that after pic and I think I still look way to fat in that after pic anyways. I was 176-180ish there and I want to be about 130ish. And yes, somewhere along the line I gained and lost an entire inch in height. Is it possible to have fat on the bottom of your feet and the top of your head? Maybe I was just exaggerating my height to feel better about myself...who knows.

I wanted to share some pics of me (oh my Goddess! She’s posting pics!!!). Now, I’m hoping this works because I hate nothing more on earth then a post promising pics and then never coming through (something I am very guilty of doing many times here).

A little history lesson, I started my weight loss journey on September 2, 2006. I was 234 lbs. At 5’1” that was the equivalent of being a beach ball. Here I am, at the opening of an art show standing in front of one of my paintings. I would cringe when I saw this picture but when I was that heavy every time I cringed I lost my neck.

ImageShack - Hosting :: hpim1721uz8.jpg

Then I found a couple of resources while doing research on weight loss (because I’m not one to jump into anything blindly). First, I found herbalife (which in the end sucked but got me started with that first 10 lbs loss), then I found this site, and then, thanks to people here I found sparkpeople.

Here I am 50 lbs lighter, happier, more motivated then ever to finish what I started:

ImageShack - Hosting :: midway2vd6.jpg

The second is a kinda crappy pic, I had to take it on my cell phone in my sons room (where the only full length mirror in the house resides because up until a few months ago I avoided full length everything except skirts).

So, now to see if this works….

k, I couldn't get the pics to work so I just posted links. I hate it when people just post links to follow, but I'm a techtard, so...there ya go.
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Hehe, I'm funny, still laughing at the "I would cringe when I saw this picture but when I was that heavy every time I cringed I lost my neck."

Crap, teh links didn't translate...I'll BRB with good links.

Back! Okay heres the good links
Before:
After:

I did say I was a techtard and I stand by that statement.
 
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Wow...I can not believe you went to lift weights feeling so sick. You certainly have the motivation...just don't hurt yourself. Are you feeling any better now?

And I think 104 is when they want you to go to the doc, but I have heard that 108 is the magic deadly number. I am gonna go google it and see...
 
Well, anything above normal is basically cooking your brain...so 103 was bad and if I had known it was that high I'd of stayed in bed all day. But I didn't bother to even check till the day was almost over. AND I only checked because my man mentioned that if I still had a fever I was still probably contagious. Had to work this am, but now I'm home but I can't hold still so I did a little moving stuff around and "re-created" my computer area so that I can sit on my fitness ball while I surf and work. I hear it helps you develope core muscles and is probably way better for me since my chair is all non-ergonomic and hurts the backs of my knees.
I re read my old diaries...lots of reading...I have two old diaries on this site and they are very interesting and motivating. I have come along way people, a long way. One thing I noticed that I used to do but dont do now is that I'd log everything I ate which was tedious, but I held myself to that accountability and was able to look back on when I was really successful and when I was really slacking. I'm going to start that tedium again. So here goes:

B: coffee w. creamer: 90 calories
L: saltine crackers: 100; smoked oysters in oil: 170; tomato:10; Basil: negligable; laughing cow cheese: 70; glass of wine 120 *it actually helps with my sick feeling* (total so far: 560)
D: Grandma's always ruin good plans. Corn beef stew: 200; alodika: 300; salad: 50; vodka tonic: 200
no snacks, I'm on an anti snacking thang. If I get hungry between meals I am training myself to drink no calorie tea or water and just wait...whats a few hours in the big picture.

I feel the need to avoid the gym today. I think saturday working out while sick set me back a few days of healing. I need to let my body focus on getting better. I may do some yoga with my son, actually, that sounds like a lot of fun.
 
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I will not be avoiding the gym today. I really want to start my couch to 5K thing and I want to get in a cardio workout because tomorrow I will be doing strength training. I still don't feel 100% better but I do feel a little bit better. I can't not go to the gym, its just not condusive to losing weight. I feel like a bloated pig, especially after grandma's guilt trip dinner.
A friend gave me a brand new, in the box, george forman grill last night, super nice. I had one a while ago but some bum borrowed it and never brought it back to me. I loath people who do that.
So far today have just had coffee. No big plans...except to enjoy being alone at my house since my PARENTS ARE OFFICIALLY GONE! I even have my own bedroom back and its soooooooo nice.
 
Daily food log update:
B: Coffee...lots and lots of coffee *with creamer)...100 cals
L: tortilla (150) with beans (100) and meat (100) and hot sauce (1), about 10 pieces of hot mix (20)
D: two beef patties cooked on the GF grill (550), grilled veggies w lemon (50), sf rockstar (20) 5 pocky sticks (100) and one chocolate coverd macadamia nut (50)
Total: about 1241...I overestimate some things just in case, like the beef patties, calorie king says they were probably about 480 cals, 5 pocky sticks...probably not 100 cals, but just in case...same with the choc covered mac nut...I'm just overly careful I guess because I see people underestimate cals all the time and it drives me crazy that they could be eating way more then they think.

Cardio plan: 35 minutes on the elliptical with a 5 minute cool down, then the treadmill for day one of week one of the couch to 5K program. And I'm going to start doing abs at home every night. I have my balance ball and resistence bands. I have a nice set of yoga mats and wedges and ankle weights so why not use them...eh?

Today has been hell day at work. I didn't get a lunch break till 2pm and I was ravenous by that time. I went home, and made the lunch featured above in about 2 seconds and gobbled it down in about as much time. We have visiting providers here so our patient load is trippled. I'm taking a break right now because if I don't my head will explode and we have an extra med assist in the afternoons so she's getting her fill of chaos while I put my feet up for a few.
 
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Im glad you are feeling better! After I had glandular fever (mono) I got every illness under the sun, including strep, and it completly sucked!
When your temp goes up so does your BMR (by 150% usually) so it means you shouldn't eat less because your not exercising, when in fact you should eat more.

Good luck on the Couch to 5K program! I loooooove running, soon you will be obsessed!
 
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