*heavy sigh* back again

Last night was the pits. I didn't overeat but I was very depressed. My finace is in the CG and he was restationed in the end of June to San Francisco so I am missing him terribly. I won't see him till I go down there in the end of October. I did cardio last night, 35 minutes on the elliptical, 15 minutes on the treadmill, ate about 1100 calories, but had to force myself to eat dinner.
***warning, rant ahead***
Then I came to work and read this article on the BBC news page: Hours Excercise to lose weight
That made me realize the 45 minutes 4 days a week is nowhere near enough excercise to reach my goals and now I'm struggling with negative thoughts on how the HECK and I going to manage to find more time to work out since its a stretch to do what I already do. And theres a jack ass at my gym in the weight room who tries to provide unsolicited advice and critisism everytime a woman walks in the door. I repeatedly asked him to leave me alone last night till I had to just get up and leave, and as I was on the way out the door he said, "thats right fatty, just give up." I checked the sign in log before I left and got his name and looked him up in the phone book and called him and left him a nasty message and then this morning I called the gym and lodged a complaint about him. I'm not holding my breath that they'll do a thing to resolve the situation. I may have to switch which center I work out in which will be a collosal hassel because the only reason I have time to work out int he evening is because the gym I go to has an aquatic center and my son can swim while I watch him from the cardio/weight room that overlooks the pool.
*/rant*

Okay, so I picked up a book at the library called Low-Fat Lies: High Fat Fraud and the Healthiest Diet in the World. Basically its about how all the fad diets don't work and low fat just makes for disappointment and sets you up for failure, it also introduces the concept of the "mediteranian diet." My friend, the cake lady at the office, recommended it. What a dry read. basically it says, eat good fat, eat it in moderation with a calorie controlled diet and regular excercise, a calorie is a calorie whether you get it from bad fat or good fiber, so don't just watch what you eat, what how much you eat. Duh. I'll be taking that one back today. Even the recipes in it sucked, and the diet plan menu was boring and basically cut and paste from every diet book I've ever read only subsitute their food plan and their recipes.
I've also been downloading podcasts about dieting and fitness to listen to while doing cardio. I really enjoyed a few by Fat to Fit radio. I'll be looking for others over the next few days, keep ya'll posted on the good the bad and the bullsh!t.
 
Iwan naloseit said:
And theres a jack ass at my gym in the weight room who tries to provide unsolicited advice and critisism everytime a woman walks in the door. I repeatedly asked him to leave me alone last night till I had to just get up and leave, and as I was on the way out the door he said, "thats right fatty, just give up."
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You have GOT to be kidding me!! There's NO WAY he should be able to get away with that crap! I sure hope your gym takes some serious action against him!!!
 
If they don't I'm deeply considering canceling my membership, which is a $600 a year family membership that covers my son and myself. thats not a small chunk of change, and I'm sure I can get friends and co workers to follow suit. They used to be the only gym in town...not anymore, we have options so they should do SOMETHING before I get on a rampage (which is never a good thing).
 
Update on the rude gym guy. Apparently there is a rule about unsolicited advice at the gym...who knew. The rude guy has had several complaints and been warned before to mind his own beeswax and to avoid conversations with women in the weightroom because he comes off as rude and offensive. He is going to be asked to only work out at the gym during the men's only workout sessions which, sucks for him, is 7am-9am m-f. Women's only workout seesions are at 10am-noon m-f so I can never make those time frames. Too bad, because they have professional trainers there during those times. The manger said that if that guy gets warned again he's going to be banned and his membership will be revoked. Oh, please please please try and screw with me again!
 
Good! I'm glad they did something about it. Honestly, I think he should already be banned, but at the rate he's going, I'm sure it's only a matter of time!
 
Ya, they said they can't just outright ban him, which is what I was pushing for, but they said they have to deminstrate that he is a problem so when they do ban him and don't refund his membership fee when he tries to sue them he'll lose. Apparently he's not the only jerk that has been a member there, they have banning people down to a fine art.
 
The Couch - 5K program is the easiest way to start! You start out running very little, and before you know it, you are conquering longer distances! It's perfect for beginners, and it was great for my confidence! Plus, you can always use the free podcast where the guy tells you exactly when to run/walk (while playing music), so you don't have to worry about keeping track of the times!
 
There's a podcast? I'm *almost* sold...
does it matter if you do it on a treadmill? Our weather here in alaska is freaking cold...so indoor activities are almost standard in the winter.
 
Cool, ya! Thanks for the link. That doesn't seem so bad...for week one, lol! I think I'll give it a go starting next week on sunday since I've already meticulously planned this week to the T and I hate change...lol. I swear that is not an excuse!
 
Yay! And the program says that if you don't feel ready to move on, you can always repeat weeks until you're ready to progress! :)
 
I checked out the couch link.....sounds like a plan. I think I might try it next week......maybe we can complain together about how horrible it is!!! I've got about 10lbs on you.......I was supposed to start my "diet" this week, but I haven't gotten TOTALLY motivated yet, so I've actually gained five pounds since I first joined :eek: I'm going to do it outside, but the only road near my house is a highway....not really busy, but still not a great place to start a running program...maybe I'll treck down to the park to run. Anyway, I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes for you!!
 
I'm going to have to go and find your diary and bookmark it, I'm sure I'll have lots of complaints to report!

Okay, today is a weird day. Today I had a fasting blood draw so I couldn't eat till 1pm! It was torture! So, I asked my mom to drop some food off for me. Now, the last time my mom dieted was 1983 I think. She brought me two celery sticks and two laughing cow light cheese wedges and two cup of soup packets. All together, it was only 165 calories. SO I was ravenous by the time I got off work. My mom has been notoriously unsupportive of me my whole life, especially where diets are concerned. Bringing food to work for me was a huge leap for her. She lives at my house, he and her husband moved in last month when their house was sold because, oops, they forgot to find another house to buy. And, she was driving my truck because her truck was sold with the house...like...a closing deal or something...stupid.

SO, notoriously unsupportive ma staves me all day and then when I get home she's cooking pork spare ribs. EW! I hate pork. SO I ate a frozen pizza for 420 calories, had a salad, drank some milk...I'm up to over 800 calories for today. Not working out, my cals are too low and I need a day off because I have worked out every day since Friday. Okay, thats only four day...but STILL. I almost *almost* feel like eating an ice cream sandwich (my parents contribution to the freezer), but I'm not that desperate for a fatter ass.
So, thats my day.
 
Today is going to be one of those days, I can feel it. Last night I sat down and did some serious math regarding my BMR, which is 1554, an average taken from 5 different online calculators (why they are all different, I don't know because I input the same numbers but the outcome is anywhere from 1490-something to 1630-ish). At any rate, in order to make a 3500 calorie deficit (one pound) on a weekly basis you cut out 500 calories a day from your BMR. That leaves me with 1054 calories a day, or 7378 calories a week. I hate math, but I hate being short even more. And I don't think excercise calories figure into this...I could be wrong. If I burn 400 calories at cardio I sure as heck am not going to go and eat 200 extra calories a day because I'll just be defeating the purpose of excercising in the first place.
I feel defeated.
Am I somehow wrong?
 
Wow, these journal pages move fast! But thats good, that mean there are a ton of people making changes to live healthier lives.

Yesterday rocked. Well, work sucked but thats a given on super busy clinic days. It was very warm outside (especially for Alaska), the sun was shining, there was a warm breeze. I ditched out on cardio and strenghth training and instead took my son to the lake and he swam and I fished, we ran up and down the sand dunes and the dog killed a squirrel and took its dead carcass for a swim in the lake. It was great. I didn't catch any fish but I didn't expect to with little kids splashing about all over the place.

I guess I could consider the fishing resistence training since I had to wade way out in the lake to cast a line. Not only to get away from all the kids on shore but to get closer to the deeper water where the fish would be. I was fishing for red salmon. I think I may go tonight again, but later when the kids clear out and the fish start jumping.

I had sloppy joes for dinner, didn't really have a choice in the matter because my mom cooked them and threw a huge bitch fit when I started pulling out food for a meal for myself. I've mentioned she's very unsupportive. I ate half a kaiser roll with sloppy fat sludge on it that was probably 400 calories of fat and refined sugars. I was starving by the time I went to bed but that pretty much ruined my day as far as calorie intake went. I told my mom she's not allowed to cook in my kitchen anymore. She can go and buy her own kitchen if she's going to be a psycho bitch. Thats the great thing about being an adult and owning my house. I get to make the rules. My parents have been at my house for way too long (well, actually, the first day there were there was too long...), they have found a house and are closing on it soon. The owner has renters in it though and they had to go through an eviction process to get them out. So, they should be gone within the week but then they have to clean the house and I guess tear out all the carpets and replace them before they can move in. Please let the carpet people be fast!

Is anybody else on this forum a ghost hunters fan? I got home in time to watch the second showing of GHI, that was a good episode.
 
Yea! weighed in at 190.7 this am, with socks, jeans and shirt on! I'm on track to reach my first mini goal of 189 by monday!

Edited to add: *doing a dance* I'm getting new running shoes! Figured if I'm going to do the couch to 5k thang I should replace my NB's, they are getting kinda old.
 
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I thought I'd post some pictures to remind myself why I'm doing this. Unfortunalty all of my fatty fat fat pictures feature me with my son somehow hiding my body, I only managed to find one where he's off to the side a bit...lol. Hide much?
The first is a true horror for me. I had to have been at least 240-250. I was miserable. I was lonely, I was working 60-80 hours a week. It was christmas...need I say more...
The second, I'm about 210, again, around the holidays. When I first made a concerted effort to lose weight I weighed in at 234 lbs, so there had been gradual weight loss before that, probably just from and increasingly active life with a young child.
The third is just a face shot unfortunalty I can't find ANY bodyshots of me at my lowest weight which was 176. But I got a face shot of it. From there I ballooned back up, but that was baby weight, I only gained about 9 lbs, and it was all in the tummy, being baby, placenta, amniotic fluid (of which I had way too much).
so without further distraction...
 
ooooooh so your having a tubal??? cool! i had one too! It was the BEST THING I've EVER done, lol!!! Nothing better than sex w/o fear :) lol I was scared to death of the surgery though, esp after they explained how they were going to do it....but it really wasnt bad at all!! Feel free to ask me anything about it :D

Anyways, thanks for stopping by my new diary and lending the support!! :) btw...loved the pics you posted!! your so cute!
 
yes, I am super excited for my tubal. I can't wait to never take a freakin pill, insert a ring, or shoot up a depo ever again! guys have no idea what we go through to keep them childless. I'm not afraid of the surgery, actually looking forward to the drugs, the last time I got high it was a different millenium. I work at a clinic so I've been picking our providers heads for weeks about all the possible side effects, what to expect as far as post surgical pain, how long I can milk to post surgery orange juice and gram cracker cart...whats appropriate for "down there" hairdo's...landing strip? heart shape? nothing?
And thanks for saying I'm cute, there was a time in my life where I felt like the ugliest thing on earth. I'm really glad those dark days are over.

Now, a daily update:
Stuggling with calories. I know I should eat more according to Focus's school of BMR today, so I ate a huge dinner...huge for me, about 480 calories which brought my daily total to 1130 and I feel like shit! I feel like I made a huge mistake and tomorrow I'm going to regret it. But I'm plugging right along...or trying to.

Went to the gym, 35 minutes on the elliptical, 15 minutes on the treadmill and then learned some lifting from a friend who's been lifting since high school. He taught me on free weights, and only let me use 10 lbs in each hand because he's just teaching me the moves and doesn't want me to hurt myself with the "big boys" before I get the mechanics of it down. We did upper body today, on saturday we are going to do lower body. We did 3 differnt target muscle groups, he said when I do it on my own to use the heaviest weight I can stand and to do reps till "failure" or I can't do it anymore. I had a good time and can't wait to get into it and see some definition, especially in my arms...particularly in my flabby armpit region.
 
Iwan naloseit said:
Stuggling with calories. I know I should eat more according to Focus's school of BMR today, so I ate a huge dinner...huge for me, about 480 calories which brought my daily total to 1130 and I feel like shit! I feel like I made a huge mistake and tomorrow I'm going to regret it. But I'm plugging right along...or trying to.
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So you are not feeling hungry at 1130 calories? Are you completly sure of all your calories? It just seems odd that you can feel so full on that little food.
Especially with all the exercise you are doing you really should be eating more, starting off at such low calories will probably cause you to plateau earlier.
 
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