*heavy sigh* back again

Iwan naloseit

Iwan naloseit

New member
I am hanging my head in shame and crawling back to the good ol' weight loss forum for support. I left here 9 months ago-ish, around 176 lbs...I return to you all at a depression inducing 193 lbs.

What happened? Life. I fell in love. I lost a baby. I crawled into bed with a bag of cheetos and a bottle of vodka and didn't re-surface (except for the aquisition of more vodka and cheetos) for weeks. But I'm over it now, or at least as "over it" as one can get after experiencing fetal demise at 28 weeks gestation.

So, I'm back to the same old plan that snagged me a 54 lbs loss two years ago, it was a good plan, I just need to find that gumption and motivation I used to have. I'll eat between 1000 & 1200 calories a day, cardio 3 or 4 times a week burning approx 400-600 calories per session and I'm going to add weight training to my routine 2 times a week. I need to get my abs back in shape after they were pretty much hacked to pieces in surgery.

My goals right now are shifty at best. Goal number one is 180lbs by August 30th, or around there. If I come in short I won't beat myself up. I'll just extend my goals. I've been at it for a couple of days, some pretty hard days too. I realized this morning what was missing. This forum, and the increadible support it provided me.

So this is me, and my walk of shame, back in the doors of my former weight loss sanctuary.
 
Walk of shame by butt...

I don't beleive in excuses or anything like that.. but you've got no reason to feel bad about your weight... you are where you are right now...and you know what you need to do to get yourself back to where you were.. and whereyou want to be.

I'm happy to see you back and I'm sorry you've been thru such an ordeal -how awful for you...

Goals can be moving targets - just don't lose sight of them and keep them reasonable.. so ou can hit them...
 
it is low, but I'm really short (I barley clear 5 feet) and I've found that anything over 1200 and I maintain, anything over 1700 and I gain. Its a hard realization, and the worst part of it is that the more weight I lose, the less I can eat. For a while I thought my thyroid was out of wack so I had that checked and it was fine. I remember the days when I was over 200 and I could eat 1400 a day...oh how I long for those days...well, not really but I long for those calories anyways.
 
Well, its been a week and I weighed in with a minor loss, 1.5 lbs which is not terrible. I had a terrible time making it to they gym for cardio, my work hours are all out of whack. I think my loss would have been 2 lbs or more if I had made it to the gym at least two more times last week. My son, who has been on vacation with his dad in italy came back two days ago so we have been doing kid and mom things like laughing till we nearly pee. I hear laughing is good excercise. He was gone for 3 1/2 weeks, I can't believe how fluent he has become in italian in that short amount of time. He just chatters on and on.

Food wise I've been doing okay, just a little bored with my menu so I'm going to take an hour or so this weekend and plan some new things. My basic menu plan has been a latte and an apple for breakfast, a chicken tenderloin over salad with goat cheese and balsamic for lunch, some clear broth based soup and fruit for a snack and usually a lean cuisine or a huge salad for dinner. If my calorie intake is under 1000 I get a treat, like a skinny cow ice cream snack or a sugar free fudgecicle. Groceries are pretty bland here though and we havn't had mushrooms at the store for weeks, and red bell peppers were 2 for $12! I think I nearly stroked out when I saw that. I bought two medium sized tomatos, checked my receipt later and they cost $6...for two tomatos! Maybe weightloss won't be so hard if we can't afford food at all this winter.

I have a friend at work who wants to lose weight and want to partner with me. We talked about it earlier this week. But,this morning she brought a cake to work. A friggin CAKE! I said, "um, melly, cake isn't going to help anybody out" and she said "Its healthy cake, it has banana in it." I said "its cake, theres no such thing as healthy cake." Then I told her that we are supposed to be supporting eachothers weightloss efforts, not sabataging them. and her answer was, well, if all you eat today is cake you should be fine.
Great. words of wisdom. she's a real thinker. I will just avoid cake like its been rubbed over with the plague. Here's my anticipated menu, breakfast is out of the way already:
B: SF Rockstar, Apple
L: Lean Cuisine (have to eat at work today...hate eating at work)
S: nectarine, cup of soup
D: whole wheat pasta, marinara sauce, salad w. goat cheese and balsamic vinegar
Drinking lots of water...also peeing lots.
 
Don't even know you and I couldn't be more proud of you for getting back into it so soon!!! I'm so sorry for your loss, I think I would have crawled under a rock for an eternity!! Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great....also, don't be hard on yourself, you sound like a great mom already!!! That's what counts right?
 
Iwan naloseit said:
this morning she brought a cake to work. A friggin CAKE! I said, "um, melly, cake isn't going to help anybody out" and she said "Its healthy cake, it has banana in it."
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Ah, she must know my MIL, who will hand me a plate of breaded-and-deep-fried pork nuggets. "I made these for you! No fat!"
 
allyphoe said:
Ah, she must know my MIL, who will hand me a plate of breaded-and-deep-fried pork nuggets. "I made these for you! No fat!"
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She must be! She may also be related to my uncle who swears that food is no fat no calorie if someone else pays for it...oh how I wish!
 
Alright, had that dang cake slip up yesterday afternoon but I did not let it ruin my whole day. I went and did cardio and pushed myself to 52 minutes on the elliptical to burn about 600 calories. Had red salmon and brown rice with broccoli and red peppers for dinner (yes, the uber expesive red peppers). I think in the end yesterday I came out okay. But that dang cake. Mel was just being so butt hurt that nobody would eat the cake and her 16 year old son baked it. *rolls eyes* We used to have a rule at our office that people could not bring that kind of junk to work, because we had a wellness program, but that went down the tubes because our administrator is not consistent with anything...
Today I am doing some stregth training while my son swims. would love to swim with him but I have sensitive skin and the last time I did that I suffered for weeks with a dang rash on my legs and chest.
I've only had my coffee thus far today, because my monster let me sleep till 11am, unheard of in this household. So, I'm very well rested today :)
 
Limited said:
I'm going to keep an eye on you diary from here on out :)
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I guess I'm going to have to keep writing entries then!

maleficent said:
well rested is a beautiful thing... I can't remember the last time I was :D
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I had a chance to catch up on being lazy while my son was in italy, so I had a head start. I am an avid advocate of getting 8-10 hours of sleep a night. I used to work so much that I'd average 4 hours and I wondered why I always felt tired and kept getting sick. With my new job, that I've been at for almost two years now, I work 7.5 hour shifts, rarely pull doubles and have plenty of time for the kid, excercise and cleaning the house. And I'm making about the same as I was working my bum off 15-20 hours a day.
I'm glad I decided to switch careers.

I just got my surgery dates for my tubal ligation (sterilization). Will have a pre-op on the 28th of August and surgery on the 29th. Its day surgery, but I have to fly to anchorage to have it since our "hospital" here doesn't do surgery. Good thing is that my insurance covers the travel and lodging. I've been waiting for these dates for a while. I had wanted to have the procedure done when I lost the baby but my OBgyn and my finance convinced me to wait and see if I changed my mind. I didn't. Brian is disappointed I think, but realizes it is my decision. Hopefully he won't decide to leave me because I won't have his baby. Its just not something I ever want to go through again. I was pretty sure that I could never concieve again anyways so that last one was a huge surprise and then a devistating loss.

Went to the gym this afternoon, did some stregth training, the elliptical for 30 minutes and walked on a treadmill with the incline set at 7 for about 15 minutes. Had coffee for breakfast, a lasagna lean cuisine for lunch and have no idea what I'm doing for dinner. I'm thinking pesto chicken with broccoli and noodles. I have a huge basil plant that looks like it needs some pruning.
 
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193.5... how the hell did that happen? I was down to 191 on friday, I worked my ass off at the gym friday night, saturday afternoon and sunday afternoon. I ate normal, about 1100 cals each day. I've very disappointed in the gain. I was truely expecting a good loss, not this. I even busted out with my measuring cups and food scale so I knew exactly what I was putting in my mouth.
 
don't worry about the scale.. anything can make it change and not in the direction you want.. keep focused on the habits and the scale will come around...
 
Iwan naloseit said:
193.5... how the hell did that happen? I was down to 191 on friday, I worked my ass off at the gym friday night, saturday afternoon and sunday afternoon. I ate normal, about 1100 cals each day. I've very disappointed in the gain. I was truely expecting a good loss, not this. I even busted out with my measuring cups and food scale so I knew exactly what I was putting in my mouth.
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Are you weighing your self every day or two? Weigh your self every 15 days and you wont get disappointing...I'm sure in the 15 days of my calorie count and working out I'm sure my weight goes up and down, but always by day 15 I am happy!
 
I don't weigh myself every day, but ever few days or so. I'm a progess oriented person, my panties really get in a bunch when I feel like I'm not making progress when I putting out some effort
 
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