Finding Cerella

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Good afternoon Cerella,
I hate to see you go through that crap!!
I just hopwe you stay strong and don't let him get the best of ya
because you got really down in the dumps the last time he came around
'and it took a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
time to getcha back out,and now your happy strong taking care of "YOU"
and your girls and just stay on track.OMG I about died when I saw all that
elipticalling you did geeeesh that is very hard but you seem to really push
to get it done!
Yeah by tomorrow morn you should be back to 207 or 206 just be good over the weekend Have a good Tammy XOXOXO:hug2:
 
Afternoon Cinder!! Your busting that elliptical girlfriend, if you keep going like that your going to need new sneakers soon. LOL LOL But I bet you feel so good and have more energy when you get off that thing. That's the best part about working out. Don't sweat the EX, it's inevitable, he is going to be attached to the family for life. Maybe you'll get lucky later down the road and he'll just decide to slack off and stop bothering you. That happens sometimes. Just take it as it is and let it go. Don't stress about things we can't change and have no control over. Keep living your life and doing what your doing, because that is the MOST IMPORTANT thing right now for you and your children. Take it from somebody who has already been down that path. :) Take care and have a great weekend!!!
Kim
 
So Im absolutly exhausted today - gettin through my last place took everything i had!!!

Im gonna hop on the elliptical now before I completely run outta steam and dont wanna...then I gotta try to get the dog walked at some point but im thinking it isnt gonna happen till tomorrow morning...IM BEAT!!!

Tammy - my friend - girl ya know it is funny it seems like Ive been through so much with you and yet we havent been in contact for a very long time and only know eachother from here...but seriously you feel like one of my friends that have been at my side all this time with everything...I really truly value your support and encouragement and love how you care...Your an awesome chicky!!!

Im gonna copy and paste into your diary so you get this as well:D:D:D
 
6.5 miles Elliptical - 45 mins - 420 cals burnt - not to high engery but i did it!!! Usually I do my programs for 65 mins and today I just decided on 45 - Im super tired...it is still a work out :):):) I did the max fat burn program tonight
 
Your poor daughter, please try not to let her know what a total ass her father is. That happened to me when I was young and it's very confusing. He does sound like a swine though, definitely a tricky situation.

How did you manage to get on the elliptical last night when you were tired? I really need to get up some drive and motivation.

Cant wait til you hit 199, I smell it coming soon :).
 
Blancita said:
Your poor daughter, please try not to let her know what a total ass her father is. That happened to me when I was young and it's very confusing. He does sound like a swine though, definitely a tricky situation.

How did you manage to get on the elliptical last night when you were tired? I really need to get up some drive and motivation.

Cant wait til you hit 199, I smell it coming soon :).
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Well Chicky - I obviously dont let her know how much of an ass he is as he gets chance after chance but really what am I to do he is her father ya know what I mean...and he actually pays child support

It is sad really - it is like continuing to punish a child...I give him chances and he blows them over and over I get to my fill and I follow through on my end and so the cycle continues on...So my goal was to work on myself and to reagain my confidence and strength adn self worth so I can no longer allow him that power and control and such...It is heart breaking as well to now see and notice that i was in a classic abusive relationship - not physical - but severly verbal and emotional - he is a controling manipulative asshole...everythign he does is to get a reaction from me - belittle me - put me down place blame on me and so the list goes on even to this day...Oh and he even put sme down for loosing weight...takes blows at me about gettin healthier and in shape...anyway enough of that...I AM STRONG and if I can fight this weight loss battle nad survive and come out on top than I can SURVIVE HIM...

I am in the strongest place Ive been in yet...I feel it in myself - mind body and soul...I will not let him get to me!!!

Pweeeeph sorry hee hee hee...

As far as the elliptical and such - I like the results I am seeing I also liek to push myself and I knwo if I pass up on the exercise I will regret it tomorrow and for hte rest of the evening because I will feel even more like crap...I am also very detrmind to make it to onderland soon!!! Oh plus I think out all my stress and work out all my shit when I am exercising ya know - I get my thoughts outta my head and the stuff weighing me down...Ive also grown to need it...
 
cinderelly said:
he is a controling manipulative asshole...everythign he does is to get a reaction from me - belittle me - put me down place blame on me and so the list goes on even to this day...Oh and he even put sme down for loosing weight...takes blows at me about gettin healthier and in shape
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FUCK THAT GUY!!!!!:mad:

I'm sorry, he is your children's daddy and he helped make them.

But dammit!! Arrrrgh this is so frustrating, I really wish you lived close to me so I could be your real friend and help with the kids.

Lately I realized I have no close friends around me. Because the BF is going through personal changes right now, he wants distance. Our closest friends are our male housemates and they are good friends but there is no female bonding. I know I don't call my old friends (I have A LOT but they all live in my hometown--or scattered all over), but my cell phone with all my numbers is broken and will not turn on :( I realized I have no one--except a family I can't visit because I work 7 days a week--AND the forum. Oh, woman, this forum helps me.

Hey, my dad was 20 when I was born. He was NOT ready for a kid. He never really grew up. I saw him once every three months. My mom was cool about him--she never really said anything bad about him--but he was weird. When I was a teen we would go to concerts and smoke weed and drink together. He got back into meth and died in 2003--of an overdose. He never paid child support but my mom never asked--his parents helped out, so much!! He lived in a van most of his adult life. I love him, but I know what it's like to have a deadbeat for a dad.

Anyway, I wish you the best! :)
 
Hey Val - Im tryin so hard to not have the girls have to deal with that ya know - ive been trying to tell himand show him a child needs consistancy and such - evne since Taneesha talked to him on Monday she has been asking when she is gonna see her brother and father...He pays child support only b/c I took him to court and duked it out with him for months - I shouldnt have to be struggling to support the family we wanted ont my own ya know...bu ttha tis all he does - it isnt alot but it is better than nothing...it is usually the difference between us struggling and such...

Val your words made me feel good - Thank you - what a touching thing to say:):):)I dont have alot of freinds I have a handful if tha tof close friends I can count on it is all I need and want...and of course all of you here - I dunno what I would do with out all of you :D:D:D

I think you would be a totally cool real life friend :):):)

Oh and ya wanna know how old my x is - he is 40...I am 29...
 
I cannot believe the ex is 40 and behaving like this. He is pathetic and miserable. Absolutely astounding really. My best friend hates her father as she remembers how he used to disappoint her all the time telling her he'd be coming by to pick her up and her sitting there in her Sunday best waiting all day and he'd never come. She says she would've been better off without him in her life at all. I dunno, its tricky like I said. But he shouldn't be given any opportunity to disappoint her. Good for you for getting support out of his cheap ass.

It is also truly laughable that this creep would make fun of you for the weight loss and health kick. Is he kidding? Clearly he is jealous and will think of anything to try to bring you down. He's truly grasping at straws with that one. I can absolutely guarantee you that he will be so jealous that you managed to lose all the weight. This will really bother him I can tell, so definitely keep that in mind anytime you're thinking about eating ice cream :rotflmao:. Payback's a biatch.
 
Val, that is so sad about your father. People are who they are, and some are limited by drug addiction and sadly many never find their way out of it. He sounds like he was very lost and its a tragic life he lead. Did you ever hear about Hector Lavoe? He's a very famous salsa singer who came to New York from PR to make it big, and he did but got addicted to heroin while here and then caught AIDS during the 80's when it was (and probably still is) rampant among IV drug users. Such a haunting story and reminds me of what happened to a lot of the people in my hood from the 80's (many my age got caught up in that and died). Anyway, 2 films are coming out soon about Lavoe's life story (one is with Marc Anthony and JLo playing his wife and the other with La India, she's an extremely talented salsa and house singer from the Bronx).
 
Gooooooood Morning Cerella!!!

How are ya? I hope you got some good sleep last night!! Great job on the ellptical..you are the most motivated person I've ever met!

I was reading about the X being 40...just shows some people don't ever grow up, huh?:rolleyes:

Heres to a great day:beerchug:
 
Blancita - exactly - he is a miserable old man and he is jealous and threatened - which is funny b/c really we have nothign to do with eachothe ranymore - I think i started this diary after the name change papers were signed and then that was that I havent seen him or talked to him since...I still cant beleive he called me - I guess catching me off guard is part of the plan I dunno...*BIG SIGH* UIm just gonna keep holding my head up high and really try to not let it get to me - the waiting of anticipation or dread of seeing him is always the worse part...

I am also no longer attracted to him so that helps as well...physically he looks creepy - like a creepy old man and sexually an emotionally and such there is nothign there anymore - I always still wanted somethign all the othe rtimes this time is different because I dont...if he coudl get his shit together that would be great adn I could accept it but I want nothing more from him...I worked so hard to be in this place...and it has taken me a long time - i knwo for sure that I will find a meet a great guy - someone much better than my x for me and my girls...

pweeeh thanx Blancita and Val it is kinda nice in one accept to get this off my chest...

Him and his behaviours has been my drive and stress to helping me loose the weigh ti have lost so far...the othe rthing that sucks is we will start bondign with my step son again and such and asshole with get all uptight or pissed off and that will be that it rewally sucks for the kids - there are 3 involved - my 2 and his 1...
 
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Hang in there Cerella! I'm sorry your ex is such a shit-weasel!!! Keep your chin up and be proud of you! You are one amazing woman, don't let him bring you down OK...

Hope you have a great day.

Griff
 
Griff said:
Hang in there Cerella! I'm sorry your ex is such a shit-weasel!!! Keep your chin up and be proud of you! You are one amazing woman, don't let him bring you down OK...

Hope you have a great day.

Griff
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Thank you sweetie:DAmazing Im not to sure abt ha ha ha but non the less thanx
 
Hi Cerella I just wanted to stop in and say thank you for your sweet comments in my diary but I'm shocked at the discussion about your ex. I'm so sorry you have to deal with someone like that who only wants to see you fail, it makes me 10x happier that you're SUCCEEDING and doing so well. You do a fabulous job with the elliptical and you support so many people here at WLF, you're a great person. Oh also you and your little girl are adorable! :hug2:
 
Thanx Luke...by the way you support many as well and I have always liked your words and support that you give out to the same ppl we support:D:D:DNice to see ya here and finally meet ya :):):)

7 miles elliptical 46 mins...Im totally doing that program more that is the one that kicked my ass wednesday morning...the hill *UGH*

Ok time to shower and go to dance class than walking and heading out to see my folks :):):) Errans will have to wait for tomorrow I guess Iwanted to get my exercise in first!!!
 
cinderelly said:
Val your words made me feel good - Thank you - what a touching thing to sayI dont have alot of freinds I have a handful if tha tof close friends I can count on it is all I need and want...and of course all of you here - I dunno what I would do with out all of you

I think you would be a totally cool real life friend

Oh and ya wanna know how old my x is - he is 40...I am 29...
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WOW!! 40!!!! :eek:

Well thank you! And I mean it, there are some great people on here and it took a while to get to know them, but now I feel confined by my computer--where is everyone!!! Oh--all over the globe :( It's weird how it's easier to get to know someone like this, but then in real life you'd be scared off if a stranger was hanging out with you as much as you were on the computer! However nice! :rotflmao:

Stay strong--we're here for each other. WOW this has gone WAY BEYOND weight loss!! :eek:
 
I hear ya bu there we get to knwo the real person first with no judgements and stuff - you cant get anymore personal and deep than battling weight especially with all the issues it brings up and how emotional it is...my last diary was pretty crazy this one has been all abt weigh tloss mostly till now :)
 
I'm sorry to hear the ex is on your mind again, Cerella but you're right. This time is different. You have real reasons for concern, but you falling in a hole because of him need not be one of them. :)

And you are soooo making it to onederland this ride!!

Blancita said:
...I can absolutely guarantee you that he will be so jealous that you managed to lose all the weight. This will really bother him I can tell, so definitely keep that in mind anytime you're thinking about eating ice cream :rotflmao:. Payback's a biatch.
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I love this!!! :D
 
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