Eric's Diary
- Thread starter grinder1
- Start date
Well, the week of "vacation" is turning out to be anything but (well, I am taking it a little easier), it's been a while since my last post, so I'll have to think about this a bit.
On the bright side, I did actually drag my butt out of bed this morning at a decent hour, and was actually sitting at my computer working by 9am. Now I know what you're thinking - how does this diary constitute work? Well for starters I am about as functional as a sloth before I've had my morning coffee (the one part of my diet that will never change - there's enough medical evidence for me to excuse myself one cup a day). Also, if I haven't said it before, I'll say it again - I'm serious about losing weight this time - losing weight for the final time, and if that takes treating weightloss as a "work" activity, then so be it.
So here, I am, still groggy, but writing.
Monday evening was a stuffed pita (I highly recommend them - they taste great and you can load-up on vegetables without really noticing)
Tuesday - no breakfast, followed by a slice of pizza (Canadian, my favourite, if you're wondering), and I went to Subway for supper. I think I had a chocolate bar in there somewhere as well.
Wednesday - our day out turned out to be shopping, not hiking, so lunch was a burger and onion rings, then subway again for supper. While this should be cause for concern I did something that I've never done before - I didn't finish my onion rings. I've never left food. I've just never been able to live with myself, but yesterday I was simply full, and I couldn't eat any more, so I left about a dozen onion rings for the wasps on the patio.
Tonight I'll be eating out again, but this time at the home of one very good cook, so I'm sure whatever we're having will be reasonably healthy. One of these days I will get out grocery shopping, and maybe I can start eating some meals at home again.
Before I go, a final word about this starting work at 9am thing. While I desperately want to get myself down to a healthy weight I would like to improve all of my health and lifestyle habits and start living a happier, healthier, more productive life. While most of this will take shape in the fall when everyone is back in their full routines from now on I want to concentrate my working hours between 9am and 5pm, and actually use that time to WORK, not wake up. In addition to the weight loss I'd like to start paying a bit more attention to how I look (should be easy - I don't pay any attention now), making sure I brush and floss every day, keeping the dirt cleaned out from under my fingernails, things like that. My ultimate goal is to acheive both a healthy bodyweight and lifestyle, as it seems clear to me the two go hand-in-hand.
Eric
P.S. - The belt is still stuck at its current location, but if there were a hole halfway between where it is and where I should be then I would put it there. I know it's already Thursday, but maybe by Saturday we'll make it.
On the bright side, I did actually drag my butt out of bed this morning at a decent hour, and was actually sitting at my computer working by 9am. Now I know what you're thinking - how does this diary constitute work? Well for starters I am about as functional as a sloth before I've had my morning coffee (the one part of my diet that will never change - there's enough medical evidence for me to excuse myself one cup a day). Also, if I haven't said it before, I'll say it again - I'm serious about losing weight this time - losing weight for the final time, and if that takes treating weightloss as a "work" activity, then so be it.
So here, I am, still groggy, but writing.
Monday evening was a stuffed pita (I highly recommend them - they taste great and you can load-up on vegetables without really noticing)
Tuesday - no breakfast, followed by a slice of pizza (Canadian, my favourite, if you're wondering), and I went to Subway for supper. I think I had a chocolate bar in there somewhere as well.
Wednesday - our day out turned out to be shopping, not hiking, so lunch was a burger and onion rings, then subway again for supper. While this should be cause for concern I did something that I've never done before - I didn't finish my onion rings. I've never left food. I've just never been able to live with myself, but yesterday I was simply full, and I couldn't eat any more, so I left about a dozen onion rings for the wasps on the patio.
Tonight I'll be eating out again, but this time at the home of one very good cook, so I'm sure whatever we're having will be reasonably healthy. One of these days I will get out grocery shopping, and maybe I can start eating some meals at home again.
Before I go, a final word about this starting work at 9am thing. While I desperately want to get myself down to a healthy weight I would like to improve all of my health and lifestyle habits and start living a happier, healthier, more productive life. While most of this will take shape in the fall when everyone is back in their full routines from now on I want to concentrate my working hours between 9am and 5pm, and actually use that time to WORK, not wake up. In addition to the weight loss I'd like to start paying a bit more attention to how I look (should be easy - I don't pay any attention now), making sure I brush and floss every day, keeping the dirt cleaned out from under my fingernails, things like that. My ultimate goal is to acheive both a healthy bodyweight and lifestyle, as it seems clear to me the two go hand-in-hand.
Eric
P.S. - The belt is still stuck at its current location, but if there were a hole halfway between where it is and where I should be then I would put it there. I know it's already Thursday, but maybe by Saturday we'll make it.
Friday morning and the belt is still stuck, but ever-so-close to fitting in the next hole...
Yesterday was one of the healthiest I've had in recent memory. No breakfast, of course, but lunch was a turkey wrap with a side of vegetables. I usually get the side of chips, so I'm pretty happy about the carrots and celery for a change. Supper was a wonderful meal at a friend's place - barbecued steaks, baked potatoes and tomatoes, with white cake and peaches for dessert. It was all very healthy food, all prepared fresh, and, perhaps most importantly, all within reasonable portions (though I did go back for a small second helping of the steak).
Today likely won't be nearly as good, and the week-end will, as always, be more difficult, but all in all it's been not a bad week. If nothing else I'm feeling a bit more confident about where I'm headed. There's still time for the belt this week, but if it doesn't happen then next week for sure. Also going to make sure I get some groceries next week as well.
Yesterday was one of the healthiest I've had in recent memory. No breakfast, of course, but lunch was a turkey wrap with a side of vegetables. I usually get the side of chips, so I'm pretty happy about the carrots and celery for a change. Supper was a wonderful meal at a friend's place - barbecued steaks, baked potatoes and tomatoes, with white cake and peaches for dessert. It was all very healthy food, all prepared fresh, and, perhaps most importantly, all within reasonable portions (though I did go back for a small second helping of the steak).
Today likely won't be nearly as good, and the week-end will, as always, be more difficult, but all in all it's been not a bad week. If nothing else I'm feeling a bit more confident about where I'm headed. There's still time for the belt this week, but if it doesn't happen then next week for sure. Also going to make sure I get some groceries next week as well.
Did I mention I hate Mondays?
Back to work after a somewhat productive week-end in which I had far too much time on my hands and thus, ate way too much. On the bright side, I managed to spend all my discretionary income for the week, so I won't even have the opportunity to eat out until I can scrape together some more cash. I hate to say it, but having no money is one of the few ways to lose weight that actually works for me. If I don't have it to spend, I don't spend it, and if I do have it what else is there to spend it on besides food? I'm not a shopper in the least, and I don't drink much or gamble, and aside from the odd movie what else can a single guy in a small town with a broken-down truck blow his savings on $10 at a time?
So, needless to say, the belt is still holding where it was, though I thought yesterday I might have been able to make it, but my rule is that the belt can't come in another hole until it is comfortable for me to do so, so we could be waiting a while yet on this.
Read an article the other day about calculating your Waist-to-Hip Ratio, or WHR. Might be something people want to look into, as it's got a lot of implications for heart disease, diabetes and other common medical problems associated with obesity. What you do is take your waist measurment (about an inch above your belly button) and divide it by your hip measurment (around the widest part of your hip bones). According to Wikipedia and a few other sources I've seen women should have a ratio around 0.7 and men around 0.9. As soon as I can find my costumer's tape I'm going to take my own measurements and see how far I've got to go. This might actually be more beneficial for me than the actual weight number or even the BMI, but in any case it will be another diagnostic tool I can use as I move forward.
So here's the sordid details from the weekend:
Had an ice cream for a late lunch on Friday (I think), then Subway for supper. Saturday was a nice Chicken wrap and fries for lunch, then a Mc-Supper. Sunday was a burger and fries for a late lunch, then four slices of pizza for supper.
As you can see, this week-end was me falling off the wagon. There were two positive developments, though.
The first was when I went in to Shoppers Drug Mart to pick up some cream for the morning (don't worry, it's Half and Half). I had a few dollars left, so I looked around, and picked up some cereal bars, those Special K ones. So that means that this morning, for the first time in weeks, I actually had breakfast! I know a cereal bar with your morning coffee isn't much, but still it's something, and hopefully I can get a good routine going with them.
The second good thing was that I finally got a good comment about my weight. A friend (that I see about once a week) said "I notice you've lost some weight." So that proves that it's not all just wishful thinking when I look in the mirror. Something good is happening. The most important thing now will be to keep on track. I have lost a little weight before, only to gain in right back again when life went to pot or I came into too much spending cash or simply didn't have enough to occupy my time. My underweight friend (who's finally starting to eat again) tells me that it's harder for people to lose weight in the wintertime, as you are less active. So with the prospect of a long, cold, Canadian winter ahead of me and some progress being made now my goal of October 25th looks more important than ever.
So that's where I'm at. This week's goal? Get one more hole further in on the belt.
Back to work after a somewhat productive week-end in which I had far too much time on my hands and thus, ate way too much. On the bright side, I managed to spend all my discretionary income for the week, so I won't even have the opportunity to eat out until I can scrape together some more cash. I hate to say it, but having no money is one of the few ways to lose weight that actually works for me. If I don't have it to spend, I don't spend it, and if I do have it what else is there to spend it on besides food? I'm not a shopper in the least, and I don't drink much or gamble, and aside from the odd movie what else can a single guy in a small town with a broken-down truck blow his savings on $10 at a time?
So, needless to say, the belt is still holding where it was, though I thought yesterday I might have been able to make it, but my rule is that the belt can't come in another hole until it is comfortable for me to do so, so we could be waiting a while yet on this.
Read an article the other day about calculating your Waist-to-Hip Ratio, or WHR. Might be something people want to look into, as it's got a lot of implications for heart disease, diabetes and other common medical problems associated with obesity. What you do is take your waist measurment (about an inch above your belly button) and divide it by your hip measurment (around the widest part of your hip bones). According to Wikipedia and a few other sources I've seen women should have a ratio around 0.7 and men around 0.9. As soon as I can find my costumer's tape I'm going to take my own measurements and see how far I've got to go. This might actually be more beneficial for me than the actual weight number or even the BMI, but in any case it will be another diagnostic tool I can use as I move forward.
So here's the sordid details from the weekend:
Had an ice cream for a late lunch on Friday (I think), then Subway for supper. Saturday was a nice Chicken wrap and fries for lunch, then a Mc-Supper. Sunday was a burger and fries for a late lunch, then four slices of pizza for supper.
As you can see, this week-end was me falling off the wagon. There were two positive developments, though.
The first was when I went in to Shoppers Drug Mart to pick up some cream for the morning (don't worry, it's Half and Half). I had a few dollars left, so I looked around, and picked up some cereal bars, those Special K ones. So that means that this morning, for the first time in weeks, I actually had breakfast! I know a cereal bar with your morning coffee isn't much, but still it's something, and hopefully I can get a good routine going with them.
The second good thing was that I finally got a good comment about my weight. A friend (that I see about once a week) said "I notice you've lost some weight." So that proves that it's not all just wishful thinking when I look in the mirror. Something good is happening. The most important thing now will be to keep on track. I have lost a little weight before, only to gain in right back again when life went to pot or I came into too much spending cash or simply didn't have enough to occupy my time. My underweight friend (who's finally starting to eat again) tells me that it's harder for people to lose weight in the wintertime, as you are less active. So with the prospect of a long, cold, Canadian winter ahead of me and some progress being made now my goal of October 25th looks more important than ever.
So that's where I'm at. This week's goal? Get one more hole further in on the belt.
Just a quickie-post today, after yesterday's epic...
Breakfast yesterday was one of those cereal bars I mentioned with my coffee, then lunch was two pieces of toast with peanut butter and a tin of sardines. Supper was macaroni in mayonnaise (light, I think), and then an iced cappuccino (made with chocolate milk, not cream) later on in the evening. All in all, that was a very good day for where I'm at. Of course, not having much money to spend was helpful, as I had lunch and dinner at home instead of eating out, but for some reason I had some terrible indigestion at 4am this morning - just felt like me stomach was in knots. Side effects of a reduced diet, I guess, as I usually have one sort of bad episode like that everytime I try to lose weight, this is just a little later in the process than usual.
I tried the belt one hole in this morning, and might have gotten away with it, but it wasn't just quite comfortable yet, so I'll try again tomorrow.
Breakfast yesterday was one of those cereal bars I mentioned with my coffee, then lunch was two pieces of toast with peanut butter and a tin of sardines. Supper was macaroni in mayonnaise (light, I think), and then an iced cappuccino (made with chocolate milk, not cream) later on in the evening. All in all, that was a very good day for where I'm at. Of course, not having much money to spend was helpful, as I had lunch and dinner at home instead of eating out, but for some reason I had some terrible indigestion at 4am this morning - just felt like me stomach was in knots. Side effects of a reduced diet, I guess, as I usually have one sort of bad episode like that everytime I try to lose weight, this is just a little later in the process than usual.
I tried the belt one hole in this morning, and might have gotten away with it, but it wasn't just quite comfortable yet, so I'll try again tomorrow.
Mid-week, and the belt has yet to move.
After a second night of being awoken by serious indigestion (I'll spare everyone the details) I'm convinced that I must be losing weight. My body usually reacts this violently when I go into "weight-loss" mode, and then again, when I slip up and go into "weight-gain" mode. Usually though it's just a one-time exerpience on the way in and a one-time experience on the way out. This double-whammy really sent me for a loop.
But I digress. Yesterday's cereal bar for breakfast was followed by soup for lunch, then a dinner of chicken and corn with ice cream for dessert at my friend's house. That and two cans of Pepsi, which probably alone equalled the calories I ate all day.
Another difficult week-end is coming up too. I'm supposed to go out for this "authentic Italian dinner" on Saturday night, which will be fine, but in between there will be lots of drinking and partying and eating out, so I don't know how well I'll be able to keep things on the straight and narrow. Also a challenge with be that I will have some money coming in this weekend, so I have to make sure I spend as much of it as I possibly can on non-food items (like overdue bills, for example).
Here's hoping.
After a second night of being awoken by serious indigestion (I'll spare everyone the details) I'm convinced that I must be losing weight. My body usually reacts this violently when I go into "weight-loss" mode, and then again, when I slip up and go into "weight-gain" mode. Usually though it's just a one-time exerpience on the way in and a one-time experience on the way out. This double-whammy really sent me for a loop.
But I digress. Yesterday's cereal bar for breakfast was followed by soup for lunch, then a dinner of chicken and corn with ice cream for dessert at my friend's house. That and two cans of Pepsi, which probably alone equalled the calories I ate all day.
Another difficult week-end is coming up too. I'm supposed to go out for this "authentic Italian dinner" on Saturday night, which will be fine, but in between there will be lots of drinking and partying and eating out, so I don't know how well I'll be able to keep things on the straight and narrow. Also a challenge with be that I will have some money coming in this weekend, so I have to make sure I spend as much of it as I possibly can on non-food items (like overdue bills, for example).
Here's hoping.
Daily posting is going well!
Thursday, and the belt is still stuck. Had a cereal bar for breakfast yesterday, a piece of toast with peanut butter for lunch, then macroni and fried onions for supper, with an ice cream afterwards. Very boring, but hopefully it's working.
More to follow tomorrow.
Thursday, and the belt is still stuck. Had a cereal bar for breakfast yesterday, a piece of toast with peanut butter for lunch, then macroni and fried onions for supper, with an ice cream afterwards. Very boring, but hopefully it's working.
More to follow tomorrow.
Browser is acting weird this morning, so I hope this works.
Yesterday was surreal. Bar for Breakfast, then I found myself so not hungry all day that I didn't eat any lunch at all. Supper was two tomato sandwiches, then ice cream for dessert. Snack later on of Pepsi and some low-fat potato chips, but that, my friends was it. And I wasn't feeling hungry!
Belt still in the same place, though I feel thinner than I've ever felt before. Detailed report of the week-ends activities to follow on Tuesday (Monday being the holiday and everthing is closed)
Yesterday was surreal. Bar for Breakfast, then I found myself so not hungry all day that I didn't eat any lunch at all. Supper was two tomato sandwiches, then ice cream for dessert. Snack later on of Pepsi and some low-fat potato chips, but that, my friends was it. And I wasn't feeling hungry!
Belt still in the same place, though I feel thinner than I've ever felt before. Detailed report of the week-ends activities to follow on Tuesday (Monday being the holiday and everthing is closed)
A day late and a dollar short, or rather a day early and few pounds over...
As usual this past weekend was the time when all the hard work of the past week got thrown out the window.
After a long, hard week, I was prepared to let myself eat out on Friday night, and I did, and I was okay with that, but after that I got some bad news and things started to spiral out of control on me.
I did finally get out and buy some groceries on Friday as well, and $30 of very healthy food is going to keep me going a long time, if I can just stick around the house and eat it.
Okay, so here are all the messy details.
Friday was a cereal bar for breakfast, then I don't think I had anything for lunch. Supper was eating out at KFC, which would have been fine if the week-end had ended right there, but alas, it did not.
Saturday was another cereal bar for breakfast (my new ones, this time) and then I can't remember what I had for lunch, but I know I did eat something. Supper was eating out, authentic Italian, with two very rich, chocolote things for dessert. Then off to the bar for a beer. And oh yeah, two cans of coke.
Sunday wasn't much better. Cereal bar for breakfast, Subway for dinner, and before and after just filled with snacks - healthy, but too many of them.
So here it is Monday, and I'm climbing back on the wagon. Ironically, after all that, the belt, while still not in to the next hole, is looking closer than ever, so maybe I've gotten a bit of a reprieve. All the same, I'm going to set myself three goals for this week:
1. Get the belt in to the next hole.
2. Don't eat out - not even once.
3. Get through the week-end without slipping up.
That third goal is the most important. Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean I should let things go like that. I'll just keep erasing the previous week's work, if I do.
I'll let you know how things are progressing.
As usual this past weekend was the time when all the hard work of the past week got thrown out the window.
After a long, hard week, I was prepared to let myself eat out on Friday night, and I did, and I was okay with that, but after that I got some bad news and things started to spiral out of control on me.
I did finally get out and buy some groceries on Friday as well, and $30 of very healthy food is going to keep me going a long time, if I can just stick around the house and eat it.
Okay, so here are all the messy details.
Friday was a cereal bar for breakfast, then I don't think I had anything for lunch. Supper was eating out at KFC, which would have been fine if the week-end had ended right there, but alas, it did not.
Saturday was another cereal bar for breakfast (my new ones, this time) and then I can't remember what I had for lunch, but I know I did eat something. Supper was eating out, authentic Italian, with two very rich, chocolote things for dessert. Then off to the bar for a beer. And oh yeah, two cans of coke.
Sunday wasn't much better. Cereal bar for breakfast, Subway for dinner, and before and after just filled with snacks - healthy, but too many of them.
So here it is Monday, and I'm climbing back on the wagon. Ironically, after all that, the belt, while still not in to the next hole, is looking closer than ever, so maybe I've gotten a bit of a reprieve. All the same, I'm going to set myself three goals for this week:
1. Get the belt in to the next hole.
2. Don't eat out - not even once.
3. Get through the week-end without slipping up.
That third goal is the most important. Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean I should let things go like that. I'll just keep erasing the previous week's work, if I do.
I'll let you know how things are progressing.
Monday was pretty good on the long road back. Cereal bar for Breakfast, then a pita sandwich for lunch (ham and veggies), with some yogurt for dessert. Snacked in the afternoon on a Smoothie and an Iced Capp, then supper was some more yogurt, a piece of leftover chocolate cake, and some crackers. I'm sure there was something else in there, but for the life of my I can't recall. In fact, I'm finding it harder and harder to remember what I ate at a given point. I don't know if ultimately that will be a good things or a bad thing.
Thought about going with the belt one hole in this morning, but it's not quite there yet. Just slightly uncomfortable, so here's hoping we make it by the end of the week.
Thought about going with the belt one hole in this morning, but it's not quite there yet. Just slightly uncomfortable, so here's hoping we make it by the end of the week.
Tuesday was a reasonably good day on the diet front. Got a lot of physical activity in, so that was a good thing.
Breakfast was a cereal bar, lunch a grilled cheese sandwich with the rest of that chocolate thing and some yogurt for dessert. No snacking in the afternoon, then spaghetti-o's, a piece of pita bread, some more yogurt and a cup of fruit salad for supper. Went out to the movies with my underweight friend later on and had a small diet coke, and she forced me to eat at least two-thirds of her small popcorn, then I had some crackers before I went to bed, but all in all, it wasn't that bad. Not like I used to be. Used to be I would have that much to eat by lunch most days. I think I was a bit bloated up from all the fruit, though, as I was quite uncomfortable most of the night.
I think the reason I snacked as hard as I did last night was because I was starting to get a bit depressed again. The past few weeks I've really been quite fortunate, things have been going reasonably well, then with one phone call I get brought down a couple of notches. I really have to start building up my defenses against those sorts of things, because it leads me to seeking comfort in food, one of the only places I've ever found it. Now today seems to be going okay (knock on wood), but all the same, I think I'd better get my butt in gear and get some of those obstacles that are in the way of me being happy dealt with.
Breakfast was a cereal bar, lunch a grilled cheese sandwich with the rest of that chocolate thing and some yogurt for dessert. No snacking in the afternoon, then spaghetti-o's, a piece of pita bread, some more yogurt and a cup of fruit salad for supper. Went out to the movies with my underweight friend later on and had a small diet coke, and she forced me to eat at least two-thirds of her small popcorn, then I had some crackers before I went to bed, but all in all, it wasn't that bad. Not like I used to be. Used to be I would have that much to eat by lunch most days. I think I was a bit bloated up from all the fruit, though, as I was quite uncomfortable most of the night.
I think the reason I snacked as hard as I did last night was because I was starting to get a bit depressed again. The past few weeks I've really been quite fortunate, things have been going reasonably well, then with one phone call I get brought down a couple of notches. I really have to start building up my defenses against those sorts of things, because it leads me to seeking comfort in food, one of the only places I've ever found it. Now today seems to be going okay (knock on wood), but all the same, I think I'd better get my butt in gear and get some of those obstacles that are in the way of me being happy dealt with.
Wednesday report:
Cereal bar and coffee for breakfast, grilled cheese, fruit salad and yogurt for lunch, pita bread and crackers with peanut butter for supper, with snack of more crackers later on. Need to ease up on the snacking. Belt is still holding where it has always been. Starting to suffer from headaches, especially in the mornings. I've gotten these before, it's my body crying out for its quick-fix - more food in - rather than burning off fat reserves, which takes more work. Rather than do that my body would be far happier to make me suffer, so here I am - irritable, head throbbing, confused, unable to concentrate. On top of that I'm doing a lot of physical activity at work, which is really pissing off my physiology.
Cereal bar and coffee for breakfast, grilled cheese, fruit salad and yogurt for lunch, pita bread and crackers with peanut butter for supper, with snack of more crackers later on. Need to ease up on the snacking. Belt is still holding where it has always been. Starting to suffer from headaches, especially in the mornings. I've gotten these before, it's my body crying out for its quick-fix - more food in - rather than burning off fat reserves, which takes more work. Rather than do that my body would be far happier to make me suffer, so here I am - irritable, head throbbing, confused, unable to concentrate. On top of that I'm doing a lot of physical activity at work, which is really pissing off my physiology.
are you keeping track of your daily calories? cuz they seem awfully low to me - especially with working out... and getting headaches isn't a good thing... do make sure you are eating enough and taking care of yourself... please...
Thanks for the tip, maleficent, but I'm afraid that my body doesn't respond well to threats of weight loss, so I have to be very tough on it during these periods. Hopefully I can keep with it long enough to get it re-trained this time around. Actually it terms of total calories I'm probably getting more than enough even still, as I really have a problem with portion control (how did portions get so out of whack?), so while the variety might not be there, there's still quite a bit of it. The only difference is that now I'm eating less than it takes to maintain my current weight and activity level, so it's forcing my body to start burning up fat reserves. Since burning fat is less efficient for the body than burning carbs (our primary energy source) it takes a bit of coercion (at least in my own experience) to get my metabolism to "make the leap" to the stored-up energy in the fat cells. I'm hoping that over the next weeks and months as the fat cells get burned off the resulting loss of weight and decrease in total body mass will start to affect my health in some positive ways, perhaps reducing some of my joint pain and muscle stiffness (especially in my legs), lowering my internal body temperature (which improves metabolism), and reducing my headaches.
Personally, I feel like I'm already noticing some small differences. The beer gut around my waist doesn't feel as large as it used to, and the belt, while still stuck, is getting closer to staying on the next hole in every day. I might also be starting to sleep a little bit better as well.
Okay, here's my check-in for Thursday:
Breakfast a cereal bar and coffee. Lunch two grilled cheese sandwiches, and another cereal bar (I'm out of desserts at the moment). Supper was just some buttered crackers (and now I'm out of those too). Had a beer later on at the bar, but just one, and I didn't order any food.
Really thought about going out to McDonald's for supper last night. I didn't have much time, and there wasn't much at home that was quickly available (I never know when I'm going to be home, so it's hard to prepare much ahead of time). There's this McDonald's coupon book we got in the mail that was sitting on the counter. It had been there for a couple of weeks, and I just got that craving around 5pm. But then I remembered my goal not to eat out this week. So I fought it hard, and I'm pleased to say, for one of the first and only times, I was able to beat it. I took that coupon book and threw it in the garbage. I can't say it was a good feeling, but I know that I did the right thing.
Personally, I feel like I'm already noticing some small differences. The beer gut around my waist doesn't feel as large as it used to, and the belt, while still stuck, is getting closer to staying on the next hole in every day. I might also be starting to sleep a little bit better as well.
Okay, here's my check-in for Thursday:
Breakfast a cereal bar and coffee. Lunch two grilled cheese sandwiches, and another cereal bar (I'm out of desserts at the moment). Supper was just some buttered crackers (and now I'm out of those too). Had a beer later on at the bar, but just one, and I didn't order any food.
Really thought about going out to McDonald's for supper last night. I didn't have much time, and there wasn't much at home that was quickly available (I never know when I'm going to be home, so it's hard to prepare much ahead of time). There's this McDonald's coupon book we got in the mail that was sitting on the counter. It had been there for a couple of weeks, and I just got that craving around 5pm. But then I remembered my goal not to eat out this week. So I fought it hard, and I'm pleased to say, for one of the first and only times, I was able to beat it. I took that coupon book and threw it in the garbage. I can't say it was a good feeling, but I know that I did the right thing.
Weekend Update:
All in all, it was a pretty good week-end on the diet front. Two out of my three goals for the week were acheived. I didn't eat out, not even once, and I got through the weekend without slipping up and throwing away the whole week's work. Unfortunately, the belt is still too painful if I put into the next hole, so that's a real disappointment, but I'll have to live with it for another week.
My food this week-end was as follows:
Friday - cereal bar for breakfast, two grilled cheese sanwiches and a cereal bar for lunch, then two slices of toast with peanut butter later on in the evening.
Saturday - cereal bar for breakfast, can of Pepsi for lunch (almost a slip-up, but I can justify it as I couldn't get anything better), then macaroni for supper (again an almost slip-up, as I ate too much of it, and it was right before bed, but again, that was all circumstances would permit).
Sunday was a cereal bar for breakfast, three slices of toast with peanut butter and two tomatoes for lunch, then a can of kidney beans and a can of corn for supper.
Had to fight off a real temptation on Saturday night. My underweight friend brought in some fries from the Chinese place next door to where we were working (best fries in town are from the Chinese restaurant - go figure), and asked me if I would like some. Well, first she asked me to go over to the restaurant with her for supper, but I was able to say no. Then she went over and came back with those damn fries.
When you haven't had junk food in a week one of the first things you notice is the smell. I have a very poor sense of smell, but I could smell those fries, and I had to keep smelling them all the time she sat there in front of me eating them. I had to watch her cover them in ketchup, then eat about a third of them (as is usual for her) then throw the rest in the garbage.
I really didn't know I was going to be as affected by something like that as I was. It almost brought tears to my eyes. I just wanted to take her and shake her and yell "what the hell do you think you're doing?" but I didn't, because that would be just crazy, right? I think I may know something of what a recovering alcoholic must feel when they are offered bottle of good single malt Scotch.
Well, I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I know that the majority of people who try to lose weight never reach their goals (I think I may try and find some statistics on that). I know that there will be pain. No pain, no gain, right? Or in our case, no pain, no loss, so I'm going to try and stick at it as best I can. I have to go for groceries today, so that will be another exercise in healthy choices that I hopefully can make well.
I'll let you know how it all goes.
All in all, it was a pretty good week-end on the diet front. Two out of my three goals for the week were acheived. I didn't eat out, not even once, and I got through the weekend without slipping up and throwing away the whole week's work. Unfortunately, the belt is still too painful if I put into the next hole, so that's a real disappointment, but I'll have to live with it for another week.
My food this week-end was as follows:
Friday - cereal bar for breakfast, two grilled cheese sanwiches and a cereal bar for lunch, then two slices of toast with peanut butter later on in the evening.
Saturday - cereal bar for breakfast, can of Pepsi for lunch (almost a slip-up, but I can justify it as I couldn't get anything better), then macaroni for supper (again an almost slip-up, as I ate too much of it, and it was right before bed, but again, that was all circumstances would permit).
Sunday was a cereal bar for breakfast, three slices of toast with peanut butter and two tomatoes for lunch, then a can of kidney beans and a can of corn for supper.
Had to fight off a real temptation on Saturday night. My underweight friend brought in some fries from the Chinese place next door to where we were working (best fries in town are from the Chinese restaurant - go figure), and asked me if I would like some. Well, first she asked me to go over to the restaurant with her for supper, but I was able to say no. Then she went over and came back with those damn fries.
When you haven't had junk food in a week one of the first things you notice is the smell. I have a very poor sense of smell, but I could smell those fries, and I had to keep smelling them all the time she sat there in front of me eating them. I had to watch her cover them in ketchup, then eat about a third of them (as is usual for her) then throw the rest in the garbage.
I really didn't know I was going to be as affected by something like that as I was. It almost brought tears to my eyes. I just wanted to take her and shake her and yell "what the hell do you think you're doing?" but I didn't, because that would be just crazy, right? I think I may know something of what a recovering alcoholic must feel when they are offered bottle of good single malt Scotch.
Well, I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I know that the majority of people who try to lose weight never reach their goals (I think I may try and find some statistics on that). I know that there will be pain. No pain, no gain, right? Or in our case, no pain, no loss, so I'm going to try and stick at it as best I can. I have to go for groceries today, so that will be another exercise in healthy choices that I hopefully can make well.
I'll let you know how it all goes.
Well, the healthy eating is coming along nicely, but I noticed yesterday a new problem - portion control. Instead of simply eating less junk food, I'm finding myself eating more bland foods, trying to get the same feeling as I got from the grease. Again, like the alcoholic, going from single malt to malt liquor. So now not only do I have to stay away from the junk food, I have to limit the stuff I'm eating now to reasonable amounts.
Cereal bar for breakfast
Vegetable Soup, two slices of toast and crackers for lunch
Large bowl of salad, two grilled cheese sandwiches and crackers for supper
It struck me yesterday that this is truly a monumental change that I am attempting in my life. I don't know if I will ever be able to actually enjoy food in the way I used to. Certainly the fast food companies are marketing an unreality, we all know that, but what about the Martha Stewart's and Rachel Ray's of this world? How realistic are their world views?
On the extreme end of the scale, I can see that if you treated eating as something no more exciting-but-necessary than say, doing the laundry or driving the kids to soccer practice then yes, one would find it easy to maintain a healthy bodyweight, because eating would be something that you simply had to do, and you did no more and no less of it than was necessary. The downside of this, at least for me, and I assume for a great number of people, would be the robbing of any of the joys of the taste of food, which is the very thing that has assured our survivial for millions of years. Perhaps we need to find other ways to enjoy food - I know some people get a great joy from preparing food (unfortunately for me I'm not one of them), but perhaps the real value can be found in enjoying the company of others while eating. Whether it's a gourmet meal at a fancy restaurant, a Sunday family dinner (for some) or a hotdog from a cart on the street, you don't remember the meals you ate alone, you remember the meals you ate with people you cared about, right?
Perhaps that is the most important weight loss tip of all. In this busy world we can't afford the time to eat every meal with someone else, obviously, but as much as possible, we shouldn't be eating alone, because then the food is our only companion, and we crave that far more than any nourishment we might be getting.
Cereal bar for breakfast
Vegetable Soup, two slices of toast and crackers for lunch
Large bowl of salad, two grilled cheese sandwiches and crackers for supper
It struck me yesterday that this is truly a monumental change that I am attempting in my life. I don't know if I will ever be able to actually enjoy food in the way I used to. Certainly the fast food companies are marketing an unreality, we all know that, but what about the Martha Stewart's and Rachel Ray's of this world? How realistic are their world views?
On the extreme end of the scale, I can see that if you treated eating as something no more exciting-but-necessary than say, doing the laundry or driving the kids to soccer practice then yes, one would find it easy to maintain a healthy bodyweight, because eating would be something that you simply had to do, and you did no more and no less of it than was necessary. The downside of this, at least for me, and I assume for a great number of people, would be the robbing of any of the joys of the taste of food, which is the very thing that has assured our survivial for millions of years. Perhaps we need to find other ways to enjoy food - I know some people get a great joy from preparing food (unfortunately for me I'm not one of them), but perhaps the real value can be found in enjoying the company of others while eating. Whether it's a gourmet meal at a fancy restaurant, a Sunday family dinner (for some) or a hotdog from a cart on the street, you don't remember the meals you ate alone, you remember the meals you ate with people you cared about, right?
Perhaps that is the most important weight loss tip of all. In this busy world we can't afford the time to eat every meal with someone else, obviously, but as much as possible, we shouldn't be eating alone, because then the food is our only companion, and we crave that far more than any nourishment we might be getting.
Well, I finally ate out.
Last night the power went off, just as I arrived at my underweight friend's place for dinner, so we decided to go for pizza one town over. The service was terrible when we got there, but the four slices of Canadian I ate were well worth the wait.
Or so I thought.
It strikes me this morning though, that I was relishing the food, not the experience. Not that I didn't try (we had some very enlightening dinner conversation) but still, that was some damn good pizza, and I enjoyed every piece of it. My portion-control policeman says I should have stuck to just two slices, but I so wanted to eat all four right then and there, and I did.
Feeling bloated this morning, which just goes to show I've still got to win the psycological war on this - it isn't just about the weight, it's about how you feel.
And I ate too much at lunch too. Just one sandwich, then an entire tube of crackers. Should have had two sandwiches.
So I'm not very happy with myself this morning, as you might well imagine. Not good at all. Been feeling generally depressed the last few days as well (I have no idea why) so that isn't making things any easier. I will try and bust out of my funk today, though I don't know how I will accomplish that.
Here's hoping.
Last night the power went off, just as I arrived at my underweight friend's place for dinner, so we decided to go for pizza one town over. The service was terrible when we got there, but the four slices of Canadian I ate were well worth the wait.
Or so I thought.
It strikes me this morning though, that I was relishing the food, not the experience. Not that I didn't try (we had some very enlightening dinner conversation) but still, that was some damn good pizza, and I enjoyed every piece of it. My portion-control policeman says I should have stuck to just two slices, but I so wanted to eat all four right then and there, and I did.
Feeling bloated this morning, which just goes to show I've still got to win the psycological war on this - it isn't just about the weight, it's about how you feel.
And I ate too much at lunch too. Just one sandwich, then an entire tube of crackers. Should have had two sandwiches.
So I'm not very happy with myself this morning, as you might well imagine. Not good at all. Been feeling generally depressed the last few days as well (I have no idea why) so that isn't making things any easier. I will try and bust out of my funk today, though I don't know how I will accomplish that.
Here's hoping.
The depression continues.
I warned you this was coming, and I'm not sure how we'll get through it without compulsive eating, but hopefully now that we're into day 3 it's coming to an end - it usually lasts about 3 days.
Yesterday I had a cereal bar for breakfast, then two sandwiches and half a tube of crackers for lunch. Supper was a vegetable stir fry with the rest of the tube of crackers and another cereal bar for supper, then later on in the evening I went for an ice cream cone.
The problem will feeling like crap is that you look for ways to make yourself happy, and unfortunately, food was (is) one of those ways. At least one of the things I used to try. Of course, it wasn't very successful, most of the time, and I just wound up feeling worse, but all the same, it was at least something to try. Now, all I can do is wait. Usually that's what I have to do anyways, I can't just "bust out" of my depressive spells, they have to simply run their course.
If the day ever comes when I am at a healthy bodyweight I think I will try and tackle my mental health and see if I can make it better. I know we all have good days and bad days, but this is crippling me.
We'll see how it all goes.
I warned you this was coming, and I'm not sure how we'll get through it without compulsive eating, but hopefully now that we're into day 3 it's coming to an end - it usually lasts about 3 days.
Yesterday I had a cereal bar for breakfast, then two sandwiches and half a tube of crackers for lunch. Supper was a vegetable stir fry with the rest of the tube of crackers and another cereal bar for supper, then later on in the evening I went for an ice cream cone.
The problem will feeling like crap is that you look for ways to make yourself happy, and unfortunately, food was (is) one of those ways. At least one of the things I used to try. Of course, it wasn't very successful, most of the time, and I just wound up feeling worse, but all the same, it was at least something to try. Now, all I can do is wait. Usually that's what I have to do anyways, I can't just "bust out" of my depressive spells, they have to simply run their course.
If the day ever comes when I am at a healthy bodyweight I think I will try and tackle my mental health and see if I can make it better. I know we all have good days and bad days, but this is crippling me.
We'll see how it all goes.
Just a quick check-in before the weekend.
Breakfast - cereal bar
Lunch - Two sandwiches, half a tube crackers.
Supper - Subway, the rest of the crackers.
A few candies, and a can of Redbull.
Despite that, feeling bloated this morning.
Hope to make the belt go in by the end of weekend, but it will be interesting.
Breakfast - cereal bar
Lunch - Two sandwiches, half a tube crackers.
Supper - Subway, the rest of the crackers.
A few candies, and a can of Redbull.
Despite that, feeling bloated this morning.
Hope to make the belt go in by the end of weekend, but it will be interesting.
