Emily Rose: The Reboot

- Thanks Rob. You're right about all of it. ;)
- Exactly LaMa, glad you get what I mean.
- Oh, tennis continues right through the winter Petal. There's outdoor lights so you can play in the evening and generally, the weather is pretty mild in winter so you can still play.

I have been destroyed with insect bites from the court and I managed to pick another one up tonight on my walk from the back door to the car. So annoying, I am so sick of them. They're ugly and really itchy and irritating. I bought some Jungle Formula - I will be using it every time I leave the house from now on. I bought a really good soothing cream for the bites and I have no idea where it is. Annoying.

Had a really good day in work today. Some laughs were shared and I realised that I actually had a very productive week and felt proud of what I'd achieved. I went home this evening to check in on Mum - she was fine, it was nice to spend time with her. We watched a bit of Ripley's Believe It or Not and discovered Parrot Man:

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The man cut off his own ears and dyed his eyeballs to try to look more like a parrot. My mum was disgusted, haha.

No wine today and no cigarettes. Happy with that! :)
 
That's excellent that you had such a good week at work & well done on the no wine, no cigarettes day, Em. It's not easy I know.
I'm with your Mum on parrot man. I just shuddered. I see mental illness when I see such extremes & it's too close to home. Glad your Mum feels fine.
 
Emilyrose said:
I went home this evening to check in on Mum - she was fine, it was nice to spend time with her.
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:beating: That's so good to hear.
Parrot man... I remember seeing a lady who wanted to look like a leopard (tattoos, implants) and nobody minded because she was hot either way. I wonder what she looks like now, 20 or so years later. If this dude loves parrots so much let him look like one but if it's because he can't form meaningful bonds with other humans that's kind of concerning. And the fact that he cut his OWN ears off is worrisome by itself. Then again: who could legally do it for him?
 
Hello, Emily! I'm a long way behind reading the diaries, but it's good to see you're here, and zapping about a tennis court (even if pursued by stinging insects). And a good day at work, too - is it the same workplace, I wonder? I guess I'll find out as I read back further! Anyway hello. :waving:
 
- Thanks Cate.
- Parrot Man actually had a fairly attractive girlfriend LaMa. So I don't know what to think.
- Same workplace Amy. Glad to see you back.
- Thanks Petal.

Was extremely tempted to get wine and cigarettes tonight, but by the time I left the cinema this evening, it was too late. I don't feel that tired but I don't have anything else to do this evening, so I'm just going to go to sleep. Housemate asked me earlier if I was planning on going away anytime soon and I said no, I wasn't planning on it, and that seemed to give her the hump and she left in a hurry. She's really annoying. I think she just wants to live by herself. She's a bit too controlling of the place for my liking. I'm not sure what strategy to implement, but I need to start taking back a bit of ownership, because we're all paying the same rent.

Bit surly now because I couldn't indulge myself, so may as well just call it a night. Nothing else to report really.
 
I secretly find it amusing that she left when she saw you weren't going to. Are there no tiny apartments around where you live or does she just have her priorities mixed up?

I'm glad parrot man had a girlfriend and hope they're happy. If he's happy I don't think his modifications are too concerning. No, that's a lie: the cut-off ears are. But the rest... Whatever floats his boat.
 
I assume your flat mate meant on a vacation maybe ? Do you ever think to buy a small home Em and do it up maybe . I can see you doing wonders with a run down cottage and acre of land .
 
- She meant am I going on a holiday away some weekend LaMa, so I won't be annoying her around the house for the weekend. To be fair, I'm rarely around that much anyway, so she just has to get over it.
- If I ever manage to get my finances in order Petal, I might buy a place but... not there yet.
- Thanks Amy, I slept very well actually.

So, I went back through my diary a bit the other day, and the list below had popped up that I had written at the end of 2018. I was like, 'Oh no, I'll have achieved nothing on that', and I was actually pleasantly surprised. So, I will have a look back at it today and maybe create a new one for the rest of 2020.

Emilyrose said:
20 Things I Want to Experience in 2019:
1. Act in a play. - I actually acted in 2 plays in 2019 and co-directed one, so this was definitely achieved.
2. Act in a film. - Nope. Still a big dream of mine.
3. Buy a new car. - Not a sexy car, but I did buy a car in 2019.
4. Have a relationship with an amazing guy. - The 'amazing' part is debatable, but I would consider that myself and SG had/have some sort of relationship. So, achieved.
5. Go to see Ray LaMontagne live in concert. - Still a dream of mine, not likely to happen anytime soon.
6. Go on a holiday to a romantic and sunny place. - I went on a work trip to Portugal and had a handsome Italian man try to tempt me to the beach for some 'romance', so I will say achieved.
7. Live life as a non-smoker. - Not there yet. :(
8. Be my perfect weight and in fantastic health. - Nope.
9. Write a book. - I did write a short story and we're developing it into a play, so it's a good start.
10. Find the perfect house for me to live in. - I like where I am living now for the most part. It's perfect for this point in my life, so achieved.
11. Spend more quality time with friends. - More or less.
12. Learn 5 new pieces for the piano. - No. I did learn one for guitar. Half point.
13. Join a tennis club and get back into playing tennis regularly. - YES! 2020, not 2019, but I have absolutely achieved this one. :) Never realised it was on my mind even back then.
14. Try surfing again. - Nope.
15. Get into the habit of doing a cleanup of my room/home every week. - No.
16. Meditate and attend yoga classes regularly. - Hmm. Yeah, kinda.
17. Go on loads of dates. - I had a lot of dates with SG, so I will allow it.
18. Fall in love. - It's the ones we want the most that elude us the longest.
19. Have a bath/beauty regime evening once a week. - No.
20. Be kind and loving to the great people in my life. - Halfway.
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Very pleased with my progress though. I might post a new list in the coming days.

Weighed in this morning at 188.4 with 41.7% body fat. Finally some progress! I feel like all the tennis has started to kick in. The progress has also encouraged me to act accordingly - ate a lot better this weekend and made a lovely veggie and rice dinner this evening that had all the good stuff - onions, garlic, ginger, broccoli, carrots, brown rice, potatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, garam masala, turmeric... Fantastic.

Busy week ahead - 5 tennis sessions arranged - happy out. Only 2 more weeks till holiday time, can't wait.
 
That's a lot of green on your list; looks like you're moving forward in life! I also like the sound of that veggie and rice dish.
 
I think you have done quite well with your list, Em.
You know, I knew G for 8 months before we went out (we worked together) & I wasn't even particularly attracted to him at first. The relationship(?) you have with SG might develop into something special if given a chance. You really don't know.
I hope you can get a place for yourself. After living with my sister & her husband for a year, the thought of moving into a share house was daunting & I convinced G we should get a place together. I can't imagine sharing with anyone else, but especially not strangers.
 
That's fantastic, all the green achieveds, (and a couple of half-points, too!) :hurray:
What a coup for being organised enough to write the list and not lose it, too - I feel almost inspired to write a "Twenty Things" for myself. Maybe if I stuck it on the side of the fridge with a magnet...

(and the weight's a nice bonus as well. :D Go, you! )
 
- Thanks LaMa. It doesn't always feel like it, but I guess it's good to reflect and see that I have done some stuff on my list.
- Lol, I wouldn't even get a tattoo on my arm Rob, never to mind my whole face!
- I'm going to spend some time with SG on my break from work in a few weeks, so I guess we'll see how that goes Cate.
- Haha, always good to give yourself a few half points Amy. ;)
- Thanks Petal. Don't feel like that today, but I appreciate the support.

Woke up feeling in really bad form for no reason, was kind of grumpy in work, not good. I also was kind of lazy and didn't achieve that much. I think this whole pandemic is just getting me down. Or maybe I just had a bad sleep, I don't know. I just feel kind of listless and a bit angry actually.

I went to see a film with my friend on Saturday evening and we couldn't even go anywhere to have a coffee and a chat afterwards, as the only places that were open were pubs, where you have to buy food if you want to get served. It's just such a pain in the hole. So our night was cut short really.

It rained here all day today. I went to the gym for a weights class after work, I will feel it tomorrow I'd say. I enjoyed it though.

I really hope I wake up feeling better tomorrow. I don't like this low mood I get. I just feel unhappy with my life, even though I am so blessed in so many ways, and I don't know how to stop feeling like this isn't enough for me. Other people seem happy to just sit in front of the TV for the evening every evening, and I don't really want to waste my time like that anymore. Maybe I'm just waking up to the fact that time moves so quickly, and there seems to be a really exciting and interesting life I could be living that is just out of my grasp. I don't know what's wrong, but I am restless and I want an adventure.
 
Emilyrose said:
I am restless and I want an adventure.
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I think I have always felt that way. Finding new challenges and adventures is fun, and adds a lot of interest to one's life. Maybe you should try something really different, like taking some kind of volunteer job in a third world country, or teaching English in China.

Better yet maybe we could find something as a group. Like a new expedition to find the Lost City of Z (Lost City of Z - Wikipedia ) it could be fun, anyone interested who speaks Portuguese? I'll bet LaMa does, but the Amazon rain forest might be hard on her skin.

You get the idea, start looking your next adventure may not be so far away. Para Z!
 
Em I think everyone is getting days like that . I know I did last Friday . My friend from work checked in on me yesterday as she was worried about me which was so lovely . I'm not a tv person either . Last night I walked then I walked some more .

You already do a lot but I like robs idea . Have a look at some courses starting this winter maybe . Or go work in another country. Do you have another language ?

You are young , you have freedom don't get stuck in a rut
 
Emilyrose said:
Other people seem happy to just sit in front of the TV for the evening every evening, and I don't really want to waste my time like that anymore. Maybe I'm just waking up to the fact that time moves so quickly, and there seems to be a really exciting and interesting life I could be living that is just out of my grasp. I don't know what's wrong, but I am restless and I want an adventure.
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Maybe more creating could tide you over until the world opens up again? I always feel better for making things, regardless of whether they're useful or not. I'm sure your brain contains more stories to write!
 
alligatorob said:
Maybe you should try something really different, like taking some kind of volunteer job in a third world country, or teaching English in China.
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I think if I announced I was moving to China right now, my immediate circle would wonder if I'd lost my mind. Lol.
I do love the idea of an adventure to find the Lost City of Z, we could do that on our way back from Tasmania. ;)

- That's really lovely that your colleague checked in on you Petal. I really do think I will do something different next year, will probably see how the rest of the year pans out. I am getting a bit of extra money from work at the end of September, so I will put that away for my 'adventure' fund. I have thought about buying a house, I really have no interest. Adventure fund it is!
- Thanks LaMa. I just don't seem to have much drive for creating right now, but it's a good idea, thank you. :)

Good day today. I got some work stuff pushed back cos I was just feeling panicky and overwhelmed about how I am going to get everything done today. I feel better now. We have a work day coming up where I will have to be in a wetsuit - :eek: - I can't think of anything worse, so I'm really going to have to start getting my diet in order.

BUT - in good diet news - I've been keeping track of my weight, body fat and BMI in a notebook since the 19th of May, all colour-coded, and today was the first day since the 18th of June that I have been able to use the green pen to show a drop. My bf today had finally dropped to a new 'low' of 41.5%, which just shows how fucking good that weights class is. That is now a Monday evening staple.

My legs feel like they are made of lead today, so strong. I played really good tennis tonight, was leading against my dad 4-1 at one point, but he beat me 6-4 in the end. It was a beautiful evening for a game.

New restrictions in place in Ireland again today, it's putting the drama meet-ups in a bit of jeopardy, but we'll have to see how it plays out. I think the general public are suffering from a bit of Covid-fatigue, none of these measures are going down too well, from what I have read anyway. I think club night might be cancelled as a result, no word yet, so maybe they'll just ignore it. I hope so. I think a lot of the new restrictions don't really appear to be addressing the problem of where the clusters are actually forming. The cancelling of spectators (from a small number of 200) at sporting events is the one that has really annoyed people the most.

That's it for now. More tomorrow.
 
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