Emily Rose: The Reboot

Emilyrose said:
I don't know what to do next. Any advice?
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Sure, but I am doing so at risk of being wrong, so take it with as may grains of salt as you like.

Go out with your friends and have a good time, try to forget work, focus on having fun. Your friends know you best and they value you, remember that.

Try to go through the motions at work doing your best to do a good job and ignoring the unfriendly stuff. I know that can be hard, but if you do it you will be happier than dwelling on what you can't control. Remember that people who treat you unfairly have the problem, not you, and try not to make it yours. If anyone truly does not value you, they are mistaken, try and forget them.

We never leave our young selves behind entirely, just try to learn from the lessons and go forward. A part of you still is that 10 year old girl and always will be, and I bet there are lots of good things about her. Try to remember them.

I know these feelings are making your eating harder, but if you can stick to it you will feel better, no matter what else happens. And it is one thing you can control.

If it helps I like you, and would love to talk to you! And no one is forcing me, except perhaps the attractive personality I see in your posts. You appear a very interesting bright person to me.

Hang in there, things will get better, and you can make that happen sooner than later.
 
I don´t know what you should do but I can tell you what I´ve been doing which I feel helps me (even if it made me cry at first): I look back at that lonely little kid, with all those fears and worries and no idea how to deal with them, and I talk to her the way I think I would´ve wanted someone to talk to me back then. To feel seen and cared for. I actually dug through some old pictures this week and picked out two that really hit a note with me, one at about 3 years old and one at maybe 8, and I put them in a place where I see them regularly so I can´t push that little kid down again and ignore her. Sounds weird, I guess, but I´ve been going to therapy for long enough now to do weird things unapologetically if I think they might help me.
 
Oh, Em. I have typed three different things & then deleted them. I just can't seem to find the right words but I want to give you a big hug & hope that things will get better. You will be ok. :grouphug:
 
Ah Emily I am sorry you are feeling like this an drew I felt like crying when I read your post. The one thing I will say is that the problem is with those bullies and not with you. Sadly there are bullies in adulthood and I have come across people who feel it's ok to exclude others . I rise above it now.

I know you have no partner or kids so I think you should focus your energies into the things you love outside of work - amateur dramatics , yoga , join a swimming club , join meet ups ( might be something in your area ) . Or volunteer ?

From your talk of family weddings it sounds like you have cousins , reconnect with them a little .

From my experiences in work and I have been working 32 years now if someone leaves they are forgotten about the very next day ,however if you gel with someone in work that's friendship will last outside of work.
Stick with posting here and we all have your back . Big hugs
 
- Thanks Rob. I like talking to you too! You're right, I need to try to get back focused on my eating. That is the goal for the week ahead.
- That's a really good exercise LaMa, I will try that.
- A hug is all that's needed sometimes Cate.
- Thank you Petal. You are right, I need to just put my energies elsewhere - I'm out of my exercise routine so that has to be implemented again this week. It really keeps me on an even keel.

Guys, I went out with my friend last night and the most amazing thing happened. I went to a bar I used to love going to when I lived near there a couple of years ago. It has great live music and a good atmosphere and it's always a good night out. Anyway, I ordered a drink from the bar, and then I spotted this pinned up on the drinks shelf behind the barman:

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Like, how amazing is that? I asked him could I take a look at it and then I took a picture to show you guys.

Anyway, I just thought it was a sign that this forum is very important, and to keep going with it! And also, maybe I should get back into music again. I spent a lot of time yesterday just watching music videos on youtube, and I really do love it and find it very therapeutic. So it might be time to get back into it. Maybe I should take some piano lessons again. (I know how to play, but I'm a bit rusty).

I also thought it might be a little nudge from the Universe - 'Hey kid - don't despair. You're doing okay.'

Whatever it was, it's pretty cool. :)

Thank you for all your lovely comments, I feel better this morning. I met up with my friend last night and he just kind of lets me ramble on a bit, and it really helped. I think all I can do is take each day as it comes really.

As mentioned above, I've let my food and exercise completely slide and that has got to change. I want to spend tomorrow really prepping for the week so that I am ready for all my main meals. I haven't cooked a dinner since I moved in here, which was something I was looking forward to, so that has to change.

Today's agenda is to buy a toaster, tidy my room, go for a swim and then meet up with friends later. I am definitely going to try to keep the booze intake light today as I don't want to feel ill tomorrow or exhausted. I'm going to try some lighter drinks - no pints and no cocktails. But it will be nice to catch up.
 
Em pleased to read your update . Definitely signs there that you need to keep going and keep posting here .
I think once the evenings stretch out and this dratted weather improves it will be easier all around .
 
- Thanks Cate x
- Very true LaMa.
- I think the weather is definitely a factor Petal. I'm so sick of it.

I was reading up about the 75 Hard Challenge, which is a basically a series of 5 rules that people can follow for 75 days that will help them get in shape and lose weight. It's a bit extreme and I wouldn't be able to follow it at this point in my journey, but I do love the concept. I am going on holidays to Malaga at the beginning of April, so I want to set a little challenge for myself from now until then in order to look as good as I can in my beachwear. Accuweather tells me it should be around 22 degrees there then, which would be lovely.

Anyway, so it's 46 days until I fly there, so I'm going to call my challenge the 46 Holiday Challenge. I hate 46 as a number but it is what it is.

Right, so my 46 Holiday Challenge Rules are as follows:
1) 3 activities per day.
2) Bring my lunch to work and go for a walk at lunchtime every day.
3) No drinking on my own or when I have work the next day.
4) No smoking when I'm not drinking.
5) Take my 'dream jeans' progress pic every day.

3 activities per day just means that if I have the opportunity to exercise, I will. Work counts as 1 activity, so I will basically have 2 slots to fill aside from that. It just means that I will be using my free time a bit better.

Rules 2 and 3 are fairly self-explanatory. Very proud of myself that even with all the shit that was thrown at me last week, I didn't waver on rule 3. That makes me feel fantastic.

Rule 4 will be difficult but I think the idea of never smoking again is what always kills me when I wake up on Monday morning. It's just too final. So this way, I will be cutting down and learning how to cope without them, but I'll also have a release at the weekend. I hope I get to the stage where I won't even want them when I'm drinking anymore, but one step at a time. I didn't smoke today and had no desire to, so we're off to a good start.

Rule 5 refers to a pair of jeans that I probably bought 5 years ago and have never been able to fit into. I'm going to take a pic every day of me trying them on, and hopefully by day 46, they will fit me! It will just help to have a visual motivator also.

I'm not making any rules about food except for the lunch. I just think I will get into a complete panic if I start bringing in loads of restrictions with that. So, aside from lunch, I can eat what I want. But I generally find when I start doing one thing right, the rest follows.

Anyway, that's it for now. Let the challenge commence!
 
Hey Emily, I like your rules and self challenge.

My secret to getting into tight jeans is to put them on still damp, they will stretch a bit. Levis will anyway. But maybe that's cheating...
 
Oh, Emily! I've been off-site for a couple of days - I really wish I'd been here to send you a hug at the very least. It isn't you, it's them, if people bully. But that was then, and we're in a whole new week now, so I won't go on about that. Instead -
what a great message from the universe!​
The sign in the bar, I mean! :) Absolutely, go, you! for the 46-day challenge! and for getting back into music as well!

and here is my attempt at a rose for you! @}-',-'--
 
Those sound like excellent rules; best of luck!
alligatorob said:
My secret to getting into tight jeans is to put them on still damp, they will stretch a bit. Levis will anyway. But maybe that's cheating...
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Modern (women´s) jeans tend to be more stretchy dry than old Levi´s ever were damp so no cheating involved :)
 
- Thanks Cate.
- Thanks Rob. A waterfall wouldn't help these jeans to go up, lol.
- Thank you for the rose Amy, that's so sweet.
- Yeah, the holiday will be great Petal. I'm going with two really nice girls, and one of them is single as well, so hopefully we have a good laugh and meet some nice men!
- Thanks LaMa.

Very tired so going to keep this brief. Nice day today. I actually completely ignored the challenge, but that's okay. It's in the back of my mind to do those things now anyway, and I'll keep trying.

I went to a meditation group after work tonight, I just felt I needed it. It was lovely. It's all about smiling at your heart and feeling positive and bringing up the good energy that's always inside of you. I think I will have a great sleep after it.

Oh, SG texted me to say he misses me. I might meet him again this week, I'll see.
 
Glad you had a nice day, Em. The meditation group sounds good. I hope you are in a deep sleep right now. That's nice that SG says he misses you xo
 
Emilyrose said:
I went to a meditation group after work tonight, I just felt I needed it. It was lovely. It's all about smiling at your heart and feeling positive and bringing up the good energy that's always inside of you. I think I will have a great sleep after it.
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That sounds lovely. SG saying he misses you sounds like a nice ego boost but please only meet him again if you're truly fine with it being a one-off. I think he's proven he's not worth regular attention.
 
Em I think having your challenges set is good even if they are just sitting in the back of your mind . You are doing great . Really nice you are heading off on hols with 2 friends .
 
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