Eerika's Diary

we all slip up...girl when im on my period im like a zombie out for blood!
All day and i mean every single second i think of the crap im NOT supposed to touch...it's like a war in my head and yes like you, I usually slip but then again ..I know that it's that time of the month...hormones are out of whack...stuffs jus not going right *awesomeness of being a woman*...so then I just take it easy, i try not to beat myself up too much and I tell myself that I have control and that I trust myself...I trust myself to get right back up and continue as if my slip ups never happend.
So...do not fear that you'll lose control...you know you wont and put that in your head and keep it there. feeling regret is good....when there is no shame in what we do...I think that's when we have to worry but you girl are fine....you are doing so sooo great and if anything these slip ups just teach us and prepare us for the next time.


Cheers to periods! lol
 
I guess it is my time to get back on writing. Cant use the periods as an excuse anymore either. Ive spent more laid back last four days. I was at my folks over the weekend, didnt work out cos of it was rainy weather all the time. I also eat pretty much what I wanted, but I noticed the portions have got way smaller!!! I did eat rye bread, waffles with whipped cream and blueberries, ice cream, few cookies.. Otherwise just normal food, like diet food... Meat, sallad and so on.

Im very surprised that my weight hasnt got up really, reading this morning was 88,7kg on my own scale! Other scale at my parent's showed a kilo less!
Well, Im behind of my weightloss plan. Like two kilos. :toetap05: But Ive lost 5,8kg and it is a pretty good start!

Im soooo afraid that I will gain the weight and lose control. But I should be more confident and start believing more in myself!

And thank you so much NeverGiveUp for the message!! You re right, we all slip up but we need to keep up going!
 
It's good you haven't put on weight despite that weekend. And isn't it interesting that our portion sizes shrink, even when we eat what we want? I've noticed that as well. I think (hope!) that that will make the long term journey easier.
 
so its ok if you messed up just as long as you find your way back!I myself have had a couple of bad days but its OK!maybe you'll be put back a kg or two but still you'll get there!i remember your photos and see you are doing so great and the difference is really fantastic for those 5 kg.So keep beliving in your self and keep walking!
I too have noticed that on my bad day the portion was much smaller that mefore my diet so thats a good thing.Try to get something possitive out of your bad days :)
 
Aww, thanks guys for support! Means a lot to me! :) This is such a big process to me... Its impossible almost anyone to reach their goal to not fail once or twice. I noticed that my head needed a break from the diet. I had pretty intense 6 diet weeks and my mind was just screaming to eat something else than diet food! So I let myself to do that. But I was very surprised how little I ate, so definitely something has happened!

My stomach has also shinked cos I could eat just half of the foods I used to eat! Amazing.. Yesterday we went for chinese restaurant with my family and I had to take half of the food with me cos I just couldnt eat all.. Used to I had no problem eating the whole meal! I feel a bit shamed how much I liked eating in the past... Like it would be the only joy in life??

That thought goes sometimes through my head if I ask myself what fun I would like to do next weekend, answer is TO EAT GOOD TASTY FOOD! Whatta hell.. Why it has to be food what makes me feel so good?? I want to get rid of that idea of food making me happy. IT IS JUST FOOD!

Some people dont have problem with food. My boyfriend lost 30kg in 6months because he had just decided to get rid of the over weight. Now, after two years he still weights the same. It is unbelievable how determinded some people are. I admire that! So he doesnt have any problems with food, he doesnt fancy candy or junk food. He just eats normal food. So he has no idea how strongly I feel for food! :D And he wonders why am I having such a problem about this weight losing, like Im making it hard for myself. Arghhh... Men..
 
I don't know why it is that men seem to find dieting easier than women, but in my experience, they just do! I guess they have the added advantage of burning 500 cals a day more than women, but their attitude seems to be different as well, like the "Its just food" attitude that you want to get.

My portion sizes have gone down so much as well. The other day I felt HUGELY uncomfortably full from just eating a large salad- now that definitely wouldn't have happened before.

Why did you break up with your ex?
 
You're such a nice lady Eerika, I'll be here to support you.

I love food too. My family and I must eat out, and I eat out, probably 2 times a day, maybe more. But, either I don't go, or I make healthy decisions while I'm there. On the weekends I treat myself to a steak shawarma with a small greek salad. I love trying new foods. I've tried many different cuisines,like peruvian food, chinese food (authentic), japanese,korean,mexican,mediterraian,greek,middle eastern (like falafel), and some others. My favorite has to be peruvian, Greek, and good korean food. I found that ethnic found joints often have much healthier options. (Sometimes, at least).

It's possible to eat these foods in moderation and not gain weight. My problem is I have late night binges, does that ever happen to you? I hit a pletau for about 6 months once, but the support on these forums is part of what kept me going. Every lb you lose I heard is a tremendous relief on your joints..believe in yourself and you can do anything.
 
overtherainbow said:
I don't know why it is that men seem to find dieting easier than women, but in my experience, they just do! I guess they have the added advantage of burning 500 cals a day more than women, but their attitude seems to be different as well, like the "Its just food" attitude that you want to get.

My portion sizes have gone down so much as well. The other day I felt HUGELY uncomfortably full from just eating a large salad- now that definitely wouldn't have happened before.

Why did you break up with your ex?
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I believe that most men have different attitude on losing weight. They think more rationally about things and women use more their emotional cognition.

Ive noticed also getting full just eating a sallad! In my first diet weeks I felt like starving after eating just a sallad...

Last question is hard one. We had our own problems what lead us to the break-up point. He was being passive in times and I felt alone. I felt like making all the sacrifices for our relationship, like I moved to his home city just so we could be together and did some shitty jobs for a year cos of that. Then second year I got a place to study from another city in north, and he didnt/couldnt move with me, so I moved alone and all kind of fell apart. Then we tried again after being half an year seperated, but it just didnt feel right or good.. But now, again after half an year we have ended up chatting to each other and thinking would it work anyway.. Crazy. Its been a year since we broke-up the first time. He has also been very against me going to army, so it was also one reason why I didnt want to be with him. But now it seems to be fine with him also..? Im just so confused. Ive also met so nice young man two months ago, and Im curious of seeing what would happen with him. Cos obviously I know what its like with my ex, right? Well, I dont have much time to think about my relationship mess, its only 19 days until I will be in army. Maybe I will just let things rest for while and see what will happen.
 
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I haven't had a bf who wants everything on his terms, but a lot of my friends have, and I know that sucks. A relationship should be equal.

It doesn't sound like you that into your new fella, I think what your doing is right, just seeing how it goes till you come home again.

How has your food been today?
 
SparkErosion said:
You're such a nice lady Eerika, I'll be here to support you.

I love food too. My family and I must eat out, and I eat out, probably 2 times a day, maybe more. But, either I don't go, or I make healthy decisions while I'm there. On the weekends I treat myself to a steak shawarma with a small greek salad. I love trying new foods. I've tried many different cuisines,like peruvian food, chinese food (authentic), japanese,korean,mexican,mediterraian,greek,middle eastern (like falafel), and some others. My favorite has to be peruvian, Greek, and good korean food. I found that ethnic found joints often have much healthier options. (Sometimes, at least).

It's possible to eat these foods in moderation and not gain weight. My problem is I have late night binges, does that ever happen to you? I hit a pletau for about 6 months once, but the support on these forums is part of what kept me going. Every lb you lose I heard is a tremendous relief on your joints..believe in yourself and you can do anything.
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Hello, you found my diary! :) And thanks for the kind words, all support is needed!

Sure, tasty food is delicious. But I want to get to the point where I dont have like obsession about food. Because it has been huge comfort and best friend to me for over 5 years. And the main thing why I have gained 25kg over weight. It is insane what kind of feelings food cand make you feel, isnt it?

I dont eat out often. When I was young and still living at home my parents did always healthy normal food. They didnt want to take us kids to eat fast food and afterwards it was a good thing, cos it isnt like a habit for me. But I do like going for chinese place every once in while or sallad buffet. You can make healthy choices. I like different cuisines also... Favorites are chinese and mexican! Ive never tried peruvian, what is it like?? Greek sallads are also good.. But I hate the olives, cant stand them!! :D

My problem has been definitely also late nigt binge eating! Specially if I stay up late, I get hungry and I find myself from the fridge.. Nowadays Ive tried to avoid it ofc. Hmm.. Snacking manner is shitty to get rid of. :svengo:
 
overtherainbow said:
I haven't had a bf who wants everything on his terms, but a lot of my friends have, and I know that sucks. A relationship should be equal.

It doesn't sound like you that into your new fella, I think what your doing is right, just seeing how it goes till you come home again.

How has your food been today?
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At the moment Im just very confused about my relationship situation. Ive tried to get to know better my current bf and we have a lot things in common, then suddenly my ex wants me back! I dunno why he (my ex) is doing this to me, confuses me like this. I thought I could make a fresh start to my life, met this guy and all.. And the guy is actually really really into me. And the army thing hasnt been a problem to him never either so.. Im too afraid to jump back together with my ex, Im not having good vibes about it. But I do have a long history with my ex ofc, we've known each other for 4 years, and it takes time to get over everything. Never thought it would be this hard. So many emotions..

Today Ive eaten only my breakfast: 4 Cups of coffee and oatmeal with sugarfree juice soup.. Should eat a lunch soon. I ate yesterday fantastic sallad! :D Just regular sallad with beef fillet and halloum cheese! Yum!

My muscles are very sore from yesterday's body pump. But I should exercise today so my legs would recover better..
 
Exes have a tendency to become interested in you once you finally manage to move on and find somebody else. Its a psychological thing, dont let it fool you. Having a 4 year history is not necessarily a basis for a strong relationship. But than, a relatoinship with a guy because he is in to you isnt a basis either. Ask yourself what YOU want, and what YOU feel.
 
:iagree: You want what you can't have, I think he has probably realised the mistakes he has made and feels genuinely sorry for them, and he finds out your with another guy and he can't stand it. I think he will act like "perfect" bf material, but if you gave him another chance he would act exactly the same as he did before. But then I might be wrong.

4 years is a long time. And it really is so hard to get over someone. And its probably harder for you right now as he is back in your life again, so you probably feel so torn. How long ago was it that you broke up with him?

Don't overeat because you are miserable about it though, do the opposite and show him what he is missing :) x
 
Thanks for your comments! Umm., I think you're right, Ive been thinking same things about this situation as well. Now when Ive met someone new, suddenly he doesnt want to except it or something. We broke up in may-june 2010 first time, then we tried again in last christmas but it lasted just weeks.

Ive told him to go on in his life without me, but he has kind fo an obsession about getting back together. Im glad we dont live in a same city at the moment. I seriously dont think that our relatinship (with ex) would bear fruit anymore. He has just made me feel bad about everything, like Im the bad guy now because I dont want to try third time!! Ive my reasons to be skeptical..

Also this situation is wrong towards my current bf you know.. I havent told him Ive been contact with my ex, cos there isnt reason to do so. Im definitely not going to lose my concentration cos of my ex anymore.. Its OVER.

BUT to the happier things! My scale showed the lowest reading so far!! 87,9kg and -6,6kg lost so far!! I bought yesterday a new running outfit, but the shirt was little too thight still :( Maybe after another 7kg I will fit better in it! :blush5:
 
Thats great!!!:beerchug:
We're nearlly the same weight so i extra like reading you've lost more!it makes me more determined to continue my diet!!!
You'll feel better in your blouse after a few more kg\s are gone!fantasitic!
 
jasper said:
Thats great!!!:beerchug:
We're nearlly the same weight so i extra like reading you've lost more!it makes me more determined to continue my diet!!!
You'll feel better in your blouse after a few more kg\s are gone!fantasitic!
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Awesome! We WILL get rid of the overweight Jasper!! IT just needs time, but we will get there!!
 
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