Disciple's Run

DarkWhispers said:
Why?



Own your choices.
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Why do any of us do it? Why are we here? Why are you here? If we had the answers we wouldn't need this forum now would we? Everyone comes here for help, encouragement and support.

Yes everyone needs a kick in the behind to get started but that kick must come from within. Your mom, dad, sister, brother, wife, husband can all express concern but they can't take the steps for you to a new you.

Disciple is here because he knows he needs to make a change. It's the first step, he's taking action. All of us have slipped at times. I know I have gained at times over the year while losing weight overall. It happens.

Disciple, you messed up don't beat yourself up over it. You can't change the past but you can change your future. It's what you decide the next time someone passes the weed your direction.
 
I know why Disciple is here.

We all fall down for various reasons. I'm asking him to identify those reasons so he can start working on the core issues at hand. Whenever he builds momentum he sabotages himself and until he identifies those reasons... it's going to be a perpetual problem

I didn't mean to imply it's something that's on/off or either/or.

I simply wanted to trigger some deeper thought from him.
 
AprilFool2008 said:
Why do any of us do it? Why are we here? Why are you here? If we had the answers we wouldn't need this forum now would we? Everyone comes here for help, encouragement and support.

Yes everyone needs a kick in the behind to get started but that kick must come from within. Your mom, dad, sister, brother, wife, husband can all express concern but they can't take the steps for you to a new you.

Disciple is here because he knows he needs to make a change. It's the first step, he's taking action. All of us have slipped at times. I know I have gained at times over the year while losing weight overall. It happens.

Disciple, you messed up don't beat yourself up over it. You can't change the past but you can change your future. It's what you decide the next time someone passes the weed your direction.
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thank you very much seriously
 
DarkWhispers said:
I know why Disciple is here.

We all fall down for various reasons. I'm asking him to identify those reasons so he can start working on the core issues at hand. Whenever he builds momentum he sabotages himself and until he identifies those reasons... it's going to be a perpetual problem

I didn't mean to imply it's something that's on/off or either/or.

I simply wanted to trigger some deeper thought from him.
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i am so glad to be part of a forum where you guys have been or are in the same battle i face.....i have never met any one with the same struggles and you are right DW i get momentum and then sabotage myself for some reason...i dont know what thats about or where its coing from.....but i sure would like to find out and squash it out of my life forever
 
What's going through your mind when you sabotage yourself before, during and after?

Are you still being extremely rigid and strict with your caloric intake on the days that you're "on"?

You have to attach enough pain to not being consistent so that it's like a hot burner on a stove. Once you learned that burner hurts like a son of a bitch, you'd be stupid to place your hand on it again.

No?

Well right now, to lose weight, you need consistency. To attach enough pain to inconsistency, you need to dig deep as has been mentioned before and really hash out your beliefs and values.

Did you honestly put the time and effort in doing this when it was suggested before?

If so, how?
 
I received your PM but I can't reply since I'm a new member. I think I need to be here 5 days or something.

But to answer your question asked there, yes, I am. But keep that between you and me please.

It won't last long.
 
DarkWhispers said:
What's going through your mind when you sabotage yourself before, during and after?

ok before....nothing really except a lil harmless weed to help me relax cuz of all the stress.....during "DANG IM HUNGRY" and i eat to get sobor again......after, the worst headache you can ever imagine....i know this isnt really the answer your lookig for but when i sabotage myself i dont really have any thought its like i black out and become a different person...not in a satanic way lol but like in an i dont care way you know. i guess during the same emotion continues and after i feel like the worst person ever and want to go to sleep and never wake up....i cry alot and feel very crappy

Are you still being extremely rigid and strict with your caloric intake on the days that you're "on"?

yes and no....yes i dont intake 3000 calories but no i dont intake 1000 calories either matter of fact its been about a week now since i have written down my food and what i am eating

You have to attach enough pain to not being consistent so that it's like a hot burner on a stove. Once you learned that burner hurts like a son of a bitch, you'd be stupid to place your hand on it again.
haha thats what my trainers tell me...i have a feeling you guys would get along great lamo!!!
No?

Well right now, to lose weight, you need consistency. To attach enough pain to inconsistency, you need to dig deep as has been mentioned before and really hash out your beliefs and values.

yeah :(

Did you honestly put the time and effort in doing this when it was suggested before?

No! i havent....... i need to and today has started off terrible cuz ihavent eaten yet and have no money on me to get anything....i am unprepared

If so, how?
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What stress is in your life? You say you smoke b/c you're stressed. Would you say the munchies throw you over that threshold which ruins your control?

If so, as hard as it is, it could be a matter of choosing your health and weight over weed.

In the mean time, you really need to put pen to paper and do the exercises that have been suggested previously. This is a problem of the mind first and foremost and you've spend little to no time working things out on that front.

Until things improve on that level, you're going to continually be forcing a square peg into a circular hole.
 
your right man...or lady .....i have made a decission today that this is where it ends the weed wont be a problem nor the alcohol but the cigarettes will be a huge hurdle....i know that the alcohol and weed have GOT TO GO though....
 
I'll add if there are certain trigger foods that you simply can't resist, get them the hell out of the house for now.

Your problem isn’t your weight. It’s your behavior and decisions. You need to refocus your sites on the cause and not the effect.
 
Disciple said:
your right man...or lady .....i have made a decission today that this is where it ends the weed wont be a problem nor the alcohol but the cigarettes will be a huge hurdle....i know that the alcohol and weed have GOT TO GO though....
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You motivated now but a simple conversation over the net isn't enough to maintain that feeling of willpower and determination.

Own up to your actions and invest the time in really putting some deep thought into what you want out of life. How do you want to be remembered?

You can be the big jolly guy everyone loved.

or

You could be the guy who whooped the shit out of his obesity and is in complete control of his life.

You don't get to pick and choose which guy you are easily. The difference comes down to extremely minor, consistent choices that you make each and every day.

Those are the choices you need to own up to.
 
It's a matter of being real to your values, desires and goals. You are the only one who can choose to live and make the necessary decisions day in and out to live in accordance with what you desire in your life.

It's that simple.

There are no external forces at play here forcing you to eat as much as you do. You are choosing to do so. Sure, you don't want to do it when you consciously think about it... but right now you don't have a firm handle of your unconscious and unfortunately for you, that's where a lot of our automaticity and habitual thought patterns derive.

You turn to food whenever you're feeling sad, frustrated or whatever and the reason you do this is b/c you link more pleasure to the act of eating than you do to anything else when you're in the moment. Food is your comfort. It provides you the instant gratification. It's easy. It triggers neurochemcial signaling in your brain that makes you feel good.

And it's illogical.

You want to be healthy. You want to be "good" for your lady. You want to be a role model for your eventual children. You don't want to be an emotional (and even physical slave) to food.

Excessive eating the way you do directly opposes these very important factors in your life. But until you do some serious accounting on your thoughts and plot out some of the emotions and beliefs you're struggling with... in my opinion you're going to struggle a long time.

And the bottom line is... we always have a choice. It might not be the choice that feels good. It might even hurt. But pain doesn't mean it's the wrong choice to be making.

In fact, perception can be a very powerful thing. Fighting off habit and temptation of instant gratification no doubt will be "painful" at first but once you get your mind right... that pain can be looked at as weakness leaving the body.

You are in control if you choose to be.
 
There is nothing more powerful than the wisdom that comes from within. Use that wisdom to gain strength. Use that strength to achieve your goals.
I know is sounds corny but it is true. Use whatever method works best for you Prayer, meditation, deep thought. When you look into yourself you cannot truly bullshit yourself, you know what you tell yourself to be false or not. Be honest, brutally honest.Sometimes we hate what we discover, sometimes we learn things about ourselves that we may not have been consciously aware of. That is WISDOM. Use that new found wisdom to find the strength to make those hard decisions in your life. In times of weakness I draw strength from the wisdom I have gained. Why did I make this change in my life. I go back to that moment a lot. I draw strength from it and use that to make a better choice. The more times I choose the better choice, the more positive results I see. I wish it was as easy as just flicking a switch but it is not.
I had someone come up to me today and say how easy it looks like it has been for me to lose weight. I had to laugh. Easy? I don't think so, everyday I am faced with external temptations and internal challenges.
Hang in there buddy, You have a great support system in this board and we are all pulling for you to kick ass!
 
DarkWhispers said:
It's a matter of being real to your values, desires and goals. You are the only one who can choose to live and make the necessary decisions day in and out to live in accordance with what you desire in your life.

It's that simple.
i understand

There are no external forces at play here forcing you to eat as much as you do. You are choosing to do so. Sure, you don't want to do it when you consciously think about it... but right now you don't have a firm handle of your unconscious and unfortunately for you, that's where a lot of our automaticity and habitual thought patterns derive.

wow

You turn to food whenever you're feeling sad, frustrated or whatever and the reason you do this is b/c you link more pleasure to the act of eating than you do to anything else when you're in the moment.

THANK YOU JESUS FINALLY SOME ONE UNDERSTANDS
Food is your comfort. It provides you the instant gratification. It's easy. It triggers neurochemcial signaling in your brain that makes you feel good.
Holy Crap this is amazing seriously its like i am understanding why i have been slowly killing myself
And it's illogical.
HUH?

You want to be healthy. You want to be "good" for your lady. You want to be a role model for your eventual children. You don't want to be an emotional (and even physical slave) to food.

yeah your right your exactly right

Excessive eating the way you do directly opposes these very important factors in your life. But until you do some serious accounting on your thoughts and plot out some of the emotions and beliefs you're struggling with... in my opinion you're going to struggle a long time.

how do i do this

And the bottom line is... we always have a choice. It might not be the choice that feels good. It might even hurt. But pain doesn't mean it's the wrong choice to be making.

:( your awsome :tear:

In fact, perception can be a very powerful thing. Fighting off habit and temptation of instant gratification no doubt will be "painful" at first but once you get your mind right... that pain can be looked at as weakness leaving the body.

You are in control if you choose to be.
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you are so awsome seriously you hit the nail on the head bro...
 
DarkWhispers- Awesome message. Truly Great

Disciple- I know you will do great. You have a lot to think about. My advice is to start journaling. It will help you discover thoughts that may lay dormat. Writing sometimes releases the Dam so to speak. Do this for "your eyes only" Put down all of your thoughts, how you are feeling, what you are doing. You will be surprised at what comes out.
 
vonbrynt said:
DarkWhispers- Awesome message. Truly Great

Disciple- I know you will do great. You have a lot to think about. My advice is to start journaling. It will help you discover thoughts that may lay dormat. Writing sometimes releases the Dam so to speak. Do this for "your eyes only" Put down all of your thoughts, how you are feeling, what you are doing. You will be surprised at what comes out.
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word? cool man thank you well i am proud to say that yesterday was drug and alcohol free :D i had alot of help though especially from a spicy hot latina chick on the site :D thanks...i ate good yesterday and i have my oatmeal right now :D i just need to get my but to the gym only thing is i am scared of what that scale will say.............UGGGGHHHH i hate being fat.......
 
Trash your scale.

Lock that shit in your closet and don't look back. You're allowing yourself to be an emotional slave to it. You base how you feel about yourself and your progress solely on what the scale says.

What you should be basing your emotional well being and sense of accomplishment on is the steps you took today. Have a checklist if you will:

- I ate my target calories

- When I got hungry and wanted to binge, I simply loaded up on high nutrient density foods that are low in calories such as spinach, broccoli, carrots, snow peas, string beans, fruits, etc.

- I did some form of exercise today which will help expend additional calories and improve my health and strength

- I read over my list of values and goals when I woke up and before I went to sleep to keep my "unconscious eye" on the prize

On and on it goes.

You see, progress doesn't come from the scale. It's a cause & effect relationship. What the scale says is an effect of various causes. If you focus on the right causes each day, the scale has but no choice to be effected positively.

It's really that simple.
 
DarkWhispers said:
Trash your scale.

Lock that shit in your closet and don't look back. You're allowing yourself to be an emotional slave to it. You base how you feel about yourself and your progress solely on what the scale says.

how would i know if i am making priogress if i wdont step on it

What you should be basing your emotional well being and sense of accomplishment on is the steps you took today. Have a checklist if you will:

i can see clearly now :D

- I ate my target calories

- When I got hungry and wanted to binge, I simply loaded up on high nutrient density foods that are low in calories such as spinach, broccoli, carrots, snow peas, string beans, fruits, etc.

nice nice yes i agree with this check list this is an awsome idea

- I did some form of exercise today which will help expend additional calories and improve my health and strength

- I read over my list of values and goals when I woke up and before I went to sleep to keep my "unconscious eye" on the prize

its like jesus sent you seriously i am gunna start working on this checklist right now and put a copy on my door at home and my office at work
On and on it goes.

You see, progress doesn't come from the scale. It's a cause & effect relationship. What the scale says is an effect of various causes. If you focus on the right causes each day, the scale has but no choice to be effected positively.

pure genious i never looked at it that way but now that you showed me it makes perfect since i almost feel dumb that i never realized that lol

It's really that simple.
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it is i know it is.....OWN MY CHOICES :D

lets do this
 
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