Chocolate is my frenemy
Junk Food: it's the ultimate frenemy.
Especially chocolate. Nobody can trust chocolate anymore. Chocolate is the leader in the gang of backstabbing junk food. It consoles us, it makes us happy to the point where we get addicted, and at the same time it's creeping up behind you, preparing to launch an attack.
Before that happens, you should turn to Healthy Food. Healthy Food is the old friend that you lose touch with when you start to hang out with the cool kids (junk food), but that never completely loses faith in you. It patiently waits for you to realise the truth and come back.
Unfortunately, I didn't realise until it was too late. I'm now in the process of making amends with Healthy Food. It accepted me back right away. What a great friend. We like to reminisce about the old times, before I became corrupted by the bad kids.
Healthy Food will help you get rid of the bad habits you learnt with them, and return to your former self.
Meanwhile, chocolate will get increasingly frustrated by not being able to grab your attention. It will hide in the pantry, ordering its junk food minions to camp out in the fridge, and when you find them there, they call to you. Sometimes it's hard not to listen.
But when in doubt...just call Health Food to the rescue. As always, the hero will beat the crap outta the bad guys.
But the bad guys always come back in the next episode.
So the next time you sense chocolate creeping up on you, or its ugly minions for that matter, don't be scared to fight back. Refuse it to its face. Yell at it, cuss it out.
Punch it, if it comes to that. You can always argue for self-defense.
Just do something! Make sure chocolate doesn't get the best of you. Fight back. Make a scene. Just don't let junk food prevail.
Junk food will not prevail. Not if
we can help it.
I know I'm crazy.
But that's really how I feel.
