Diary: Curvie Girlie: A Yo-Yo's Reformation

Status
Not open for further replies.
Great posts! Congrats on losing the "bloat" or whatever it was.

Sex is so much more about love and confidence than it is about what a person's body looks like. I think some people have this idea that you have to look (and act!) like a porn star to enjoy sex. NOT true! Just wanted to put my 2 cents in!
 
Yes, I have mastered some sexual confidence techniques that seem to work like a charm :) Any woman can do it--it's like this stripper told me: it's all mental. But she was also incorrect--with love, it's emo, too!

Porn stars sometimes seem to be having fun, but I notice a lot look bored, too :rolleyes: And a lot are GROSS LOOKING! Yuck. I like porn, but I also don't like it because there's not much out there with really good looking people. Some of the men are just hideous! :eek: Yes, unrealistic expectations of what our bodies "should" look like must be done away with. All bodies are different--I've been with a couple overweight men in my time and it didn't matter--I wasn't less attracted.
 
Val, i edited the last post in my diary to tell the sad story of james' cat raider. why do i want you to read about it?... not sure! :confused: i guess maybe another cat person could relate. :)
 
Curvie Girlie said:
SEX AND WEIGHT

A lot of women, I hear from magazines and such, are so self-conscious about their perceived body "flaws" that they like, hide parts of their body while doing the deed, or won't do certain positions, or want the lights out, etc. My advice to you (although you have to understand my position as a person who has only been somewhat overweight, 170 at my heaviest and my alloted BMI max is 159 for my height of 5'7", although supposedly my "ideal" weight max is 147) is that it is ridiculous to let your body hang ups interfere with the quality of your sex life. Of course, I'm no sex therapist and a LOT of baggage comes with sex--but abuse and trauma aside, if your only problem is your obsession with your chubby tummy, let it go and get and let loose! To be honest, I've been happily sexually active since 14 and 1/2. My mom was free and open about her sexuality, and never forbade me anything much--my "dad", when I saw him, was crudely encouraging. Ha ha! Also, being non-religious except for the positive lessons (no induced guilt for me), I became at ease in bed in about only about a year and a half. First starting, yeah, I was nervous about being judged--shouldn't have been, damn I was like 120-130 lbs!!! But that's the point: I thought I looked worse. By the time I was 16, I never worried during the act. I thought, correctly, that the man I was doing was going to not notice my "flaws" if I let my inner goddess out: pure sexual confidence and love for myself radiating out, no holds barred. Well, I was right--BUT you also must understand that I have never been promiscuous and always happened to get locked up in long term relationships. Joke's on me! Nah, I love it. I always chose the nice guys, the respectful, sweet, intelligent, sensitive-but-manly guys--and since I had such good taste in love and they loved me too, I ended up being with them for a year or more. I do not judge ANYONE whose tastes run the opposite--things just turned out that way for me. Hmmmmm, maybe that has something to do with my sexuality....ok where's the sex therapist? LOL :p
Click to expand...

i LOVE this post!

i can't even begin to express how much i can relate to all of this.

in the past, i have always been lights off, in the dark, under the covers, you get the point. even with james i was like that. he has always complimented me, but i never felt sexy or attractive in my own skin. now that i have started losing weight, i FEEL sexy. it's not that i wasn't sexy in my own way before, but i didn't FEEL it. and without feeling it, there's nothing. now that i do, i prance around in anything i damn well please, and i am proud as i do it. james constantly tells me how sexy i am, and he loves the confidence that he sees in me. i know i am still not perfect by model standards (never will be), but i don't need to look that way to be completely sexy. i am so open to trying new things (no pun intended! :D) and our sex life is off the charts now!!! and it is all because of this confidence that i have in myself!
 
daiseeangel said:
now that i do, i prance around in anything i damn well please, and i am proud as i do it. james constantly tells me how sexy i am, and he loves the confidence that he sees in me
Click to expand...

I'm so glad for you! Confindence can apply to anything, too--I was chatting with Mal about walking the city streets at night and she was saying that those who walk like a victim will more likely get mugged!

There's also the issue some women have with masking their sexuality with excess weight as a defense mechanism--and eventually coming to terms with their sexual history as they shed the pounds.
 
Way to go on getting rid of the nasty bloat-weight! Nice work. :)
I liked your post about sex. I like most things that pertain to sex, so don't be surprised. Heehee. But it's true - people put way too much emphasis on how they look during sex, when in reality, that's probably not what's going through your partner's mind. If they're an attentive, respectful lover (which they should be or you shouldn't be having sex with them! just my 2 cents...)then they're not thinking "You know, she'd be a lot better at this if she didn't have such chubby ankles." I, personally, have never thought such a thing about my boyfriend during the act.. so why should I think he's thinking that of me? Makes sense.
 
sunnydee said:
then they're not thinking "You know, she'd be a lot better at this if she didn't have such chubby ankles."
Click to expand...

LOL! Ha ha! I love that! Funny stuff!

Yes, sex is almost always on my mind...I'm worse than a man....I have a very active fantasy life, and I also LOVE fulfilling my BF's fantasies. He's so sweet :) The sex has always been good, but you know how sex in the beginning is more exciting and better? We got into a bit of a slump last summer, mainly because I was going crazy with all the death around me and the healing from the ex boyfriend hating us....and also going from 150 to 160 and NOT being happy about it at all!

I was going through ROUGH TIMES. The weight gain hurt that even worse. And it became a hinderance to sex. Yes, I was having a hard time with self esteem and confidence in the midst. I went and saw a psychologist four times, and she cured me (or I cured myself with her help). I felt better about myself and was healing from the death and the devastation. But my weight stayed around 154-158 lbs, until December 26th when I made my vow to be 135-ish lbs by August 07. Since I have gone from 158 to 139, my self esteem and confidence are back, full-force. But also, my perspective hasn't changed much. I still don't think that I've changed as a person. My life is great, but the weight alone has NOT improved the quality of it. I've improved the quality of my life--with the power of my will and my mind, to grow and change and also use my body more efficiently. All this complied has given me amazing sexual confidence, and I couldn't have that if I wasn't with a man who loves and adores me--and who's proud of me for my accomplishments--and last night he told me how much he loves that I appreciate him. I will never diss casual affairs. I just feel more comfortable with--no, I NEED--The Whole Enchilada. Then my sexual power can shine.

Hmmmmm...although I bet if I set my mind to it I could blow away some random hot dude.;)

JUST KIDDING!
 
Hahaha, yeah you know you could! But I bet he couldn't do for you what your boyfriend can, which is equally important. Casual sex just doesn't serve the same purpose. To be honest, I can't actually say that from experience because I don't know much about casual sex. I just know it takes a while to figure each other out. And good sex takes a lot of figuring out.
 
LOL LOL Hey, Sunnydee was talking about trashing magazines in M2M's diary. Where is this all coming from?? I should have joined this damn website months ago. What was I thinking?? Weight loss, food tips, and sexual advise. DAMN, just my kind of people. :D
 
I forgot to say congrats on the 5lb drop :) Makes me wanna start having a period my damnself, meh, I'm probably menopausal by now anyway *shrugs*
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top