Wow, thanks you guys!!!
Look, I PROMISE I'll get around to the diaries....here's my update:
Friday was fun in Palo Alto, but there were not a whole lot of cute guys. Trisha and I chatted with some, and I got hugs and peck-type kisses from a very drunk guy, which was fine with me because I miss hugs and kisses. I danced a lot, and we ended up at some Middle Eastern bakery-cafe at 2 in the morning, where the workers were smoking a hookah in the front (T and I did NOT join them), eating some off the wall type chocolatey dessert.
The next morning we got up and went to Santa Cruz where we went to the Brewery and had the Best Fish Tacos in the World, and then went to Bartolo to talk to Barre and taste HIS wine, and he aske me if I'd like to pour for him and Jeff next Saturday and I said, "Sure--you don't have to pay me." I'm working on my good karma
The wine club party was excellent, and we had fun mixing a Burgundian blend, and dinner was good, too. Afterwards we went back to the brewery and drank water, but I started crying at the bar so we left.
(I missed him)
We then went to the Blue Lagoon and danced to hip hop for about an hour. It was really excellent, I always get compliments for my dancing because I GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR. I actually truly want to do break dancing soon. I can't as if yet but I have it in me.
We went to our friend Pheinix's house and crashed out. The next morning Pheinix informed me politely that she and T think I have been drinking too much and it's not a healthy way to deal with my pain. agreed, she gave me a Buddhist pamphlet, and we all chanted Nam Myo ho ren ge kyo like on "What's Love got to do with It?"
I then went home where my cell phone was. I found a message. It was HIM. He broke our pact not to contact each other for two weeks, a week early. He was crying, saying he missed me and loved me and drove to my house to find me at 2:30 in the morning from Mountain View
I cried, but I restarined myself from trying to call his parents' house and instead drove to the East Bay to see my best friend and her baby, and hang out. She had Goddess Cards and we did readings on her friend and I. At her house, HE called me. I answered. He told me he loves me so much and wants to make it work. I was touched but noncommittal. The intense pain I'd been going through was still acute, but after the call I calmed somewhat. I least I know he's in a similar place and not totally glad I'm not around. It bothered me that he came to see me, and I'm glad I wasn't there. I was worried when he admitted he was wasted. Apparently he doesn't have a lot of good girl friends to talk about his feelings and help him through this.
Anyway, I woke up, Ohmed and did breathing exercises, then went on the back porch and chanted. I''ve written out my entire plans for today, in a new planner, and am going to try to stick with that all week. No alcohol, and I'm going to draw and write.
I'm also going back on my diet!!!
I was 147 this morning but I'm on my period so it should drop over the next few days. I'm going to weight train today.
Will check on my friends here this evenging or throughout the day if I can get away with it!
