DearDiary I hope u work magic

Niapage - Oh here the plus size are not flattering to the figure at all, i don't think any plus size clothes look nice, if you take an item of clothing from the "average" section and then take the same piece of clothing from the plus size section put them beside each other...the plus size item doesn't even look anything like the original piece made for the average people, that's why i myself dont shop in the plus size section , i can usually wear large or xtra large items, i like some stuff to be tight because i'm not that big in my stomach, but the fat is there. The reason i refuse to shop at the plus size stores is because i dont feel fat, i feel so energetic so i treat myself like a thin person, i jsut gotta make that feeling become reality. Might sound pretty stupid to some people but i'm sure i'm not the only one here who feels thinner then they are, that's probably why i get so stressed out when i see something sexy and i get exidet but then i try it on it fits and all but it just looks BEYOND HORRIBLE...flab of fat hangs here and there lol..i'm not beating myself up about this, i'm just noticing what this weight has done to me and that makes me want to lose it even more.

Today was a VERY stressful day, i have a headache right now and a dentis appointment in about an hour, hopefully i'm not gonna sit there with a headache getting my teeth cleaned. Reason i'm so stressed is because my sons father WILL not stop bugging me, he calls me about 30 times a day demanding to knwo why we can't be friends and he doesn't UNDERSTAND when i say "I DONT WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU" i seriously don't knwo what to do...he's harrassing me like some psycho.
And he's got the nerve to say that i'm the one who needs help hahaha..yet he's the one calling me CONSTANTLY ..on my cell i get at least 15 missed calls a day if not more. I think i should file for harrassment.
I truly believe he's sick in his head, he's got feelings for me still or else he wouldn't demand to talk to me but he claims that's false.
Ugh my stress comes from him..so i ended up eating like crazy...i was SOOO furious i didn't even have the strength to do stuff around the house whatever i grabbed to pick up or clean i felt like smashing it off the wall because he build this anger inside me , i just wish there was a way for him to be out of my life for GOOD.

Well that's a bit of my personal life, had to get it out.
 
Lovely- I am sorry you are so stressed. Perhaps you should consider a restraining order. It's not worth this. My sister in law went through the same type of thing with her ex, and she finally had to get it arranged that he could only contact her through her attorney (EXPENSIVE, I know), but man did it stop the calls. You are trying to make yourself a priority, don't let this derail you!! Hope I'm not stepping on your toes, not trying to.
 
Beckster - Thank you, i think i should get a restraining order because that's the only thing that's going to stop the calls, thanks for the support.

well i'm going slow here i'm going thru a phase here lol ...hope it ends soon.
 
Sorry misslovely to hear that your being harrassed!!I have been through that and it's not pleasent I would try a restraining order but some men are so bullheaded and it may not effect him?But then again a night behind bars would do the trick hopefully it won't go that far just watch out GF!
Hope your headache goes away(both)!Tammy
 
The Atkins Diet

I have posted a new thread under the title "The club" because i wasn't sure if many people would answer me or help me out in this section since it's only for diaries, but i'll try anyway.

I've been thinking about switching to the atkins diet, i have a friend who lost a big amount of weight in about 7 months and that made me think.
I dont really mind losing weight slower but right now all im doing is watching my portions and making sure i don't eat junk and all the other bad fattening foods.
I can't stay motivated, i lasted about 3 weeks and lost 15 pounds or so, but for a week now i cannot find the strength to try again, i know what im doing im very aware of it, but i just can't stop it. When i get hungry or i start craving i have no control.
I don't know why it's happnening, but im pretty sure stress plays a part in it.
I've done some research on the atkins on the internet, but the internet is so biased , either i'll find really good feedback or really negative ones, so i'm stuck there.
If anyone is on it or has tried it, can u please tell me if it's a good way to go or if it's something i should avoid, and if it has worked for you or anyone else?

*I don't have anymore modivation to do is what so ever, and yes I DO want to lose the weight but food's been controling me like a drug for the past week and a half, it's so freaking hard, i just want to say no but in the end i lose the game. I had doubts before and i somehow got myself to try again and it worked for like 4 days and now im back again, i don't know why this is happening, maybe stress or maybe i love my food more than the body i dream of. Ugh i wish we were all created nice and thin, such bullshit! I get so angry at myself i cant explain it, i see all you people doing it and being strong, it's like i was created not to be able to get thinner. I don't mean to bitch and whine like a crazy person, but i don't know any other way to express my feelings and anger, or better yet expressing it all would be through eating 10 slices of pizza.
I'm running out of ideas, and i know that you guys are all awesome and are going to tell me to stay strong and how i can do this, but i think someone should strap me to a chair and just not let me eat at all. Today i just pigged out on crap, i was full yet i ended up still eating a meal at a fast food restaurant, i came home ate a bunch of pumpkin seeds and i'm about to eat dinner and surprisingly enough I HAVE TO BECAUSE I'm HUNGRY! So i think my stomach has just streched it's self so much that its so hard for me to control, it's never happy, never filled, always needs more crap to make me feel happy and complete.
Now i know weight watchers or whatever could help, but i'm not spending money on that when it's not for sure that, that could even help me plus i really don't feel like spending money on this because i lost weight before, but there was less to lose, now it's like pregnancy weight combined with EATING CRAP ALL DAY weight to lose.
I'm sick of this i really am, i hate myself, expecially the way i look, i hate looking at mirrors i see the MOST ugliest person thats ever been created, not only that if i think about it ,if im so ugly to myself god knows what others think when they see me. I cant wear nothing nice coz it looks like it's about to pop on me, and it's just not flattering at all. I don't want to make my hair nice...like go to the salon and get a whole new hairsyle, but i dont want to because whats it matter if u got nice hair when all that's visible is two huge chins and cheeks the size of peaches.
I guess i'm being so hard on myself because i only blame myself for being so lazy and stupid about this, but i've been in love with food since the day i was born so it's a HUGe chunk out of my life to just cut out, but i have to do it, coz it's gonna kill me one day if i dont smarten up, i just havent figured out a way to stay motivated, this site has helped A LOT..and it still does it give me the opportunity to spill my feelings and get some nice support from other people in the same situation, although i feel i have it the hardest lol we all probably do.
Alright, i'm dont blabbing im off to eat dinner, no gym today i have a headache ( IT'S A EXCUSE) but i really do have one plus i went to the mall for like 3 hrs so yah..excuses excuses excuses...what a lazy butt!
 
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Hey girl. I understand where you are coming from. You want to lose the weight but you are running into a brick wall. All the fast food and potato chips are getting in the way. I can relate. The only way your diet is going to work is if you dont think of it as a diet but as a lifestyle change. Think of it as a new way of life. Find foods that you enjoy that are healthy. (I like to slice a tomato and put salt and pepper on it for a snack.)
I have been where you are. It took what seemed like forever for me to say "what the hell am I doing putting this bad food in body". I had to realize that it could be fun finding new foods and recipies to try. To figure out on my own that I could do it. I had to know that it is not a dreded diet but a new adventure. I have faith that you will find your path. One day you will wake up and say "yea I can do this..". It will come..your day will come. You can do it!
The thread that you just posted in exactly what you need to do to get back on track. Later you are going to look back at that post and say I have come so far. You can do it and this forum can help.
My biggest problem is finding more time to excercise and less time making excuses not to. :) I havent went out and excercised in like 3 weeks..work and all...lol here I go again.
I am going on and on ..lol in your diary..sorry. :)
I wish you luck..even though you dont need it.
 
15 pounds in 3 weeks? WHOA!

That's like 5 pounds a week.

Miss Lovely, you are doing a fantastic job--maybe even a little too fantastic.

If you are really losing 5 pounds (or more) a week, it's not a wonder you are feeling so hungry. You may be starving yourself. It's usually best to lose 2 pounds (or less) a week or you risk feeling really hungry, really tired, or both. If you up your portions (especially with tasty healthy things), the cravings will subside and you will still lose weight. It may take a little longer to lose, but believe me it's worth it (and you'll keep the weight off longer, too).

Have you been using a calorie calculator? Have you been trying to reduce your calories gradually or all at once?

Exercise also needs to be done gradually...especially if you aren't used to it. 3-4 days a week at the most. Your body needs a rest. It's important to make sure you get good sleep too. When you exercise, you aren't building muscles...you're making tiny tears in them. It's when you sleep your brain releases signals to your body to repair the muscles. As your body repairs them, it builds them stronger. It's also important to remember that as you first exercise, you may not lose or you may even gain weight. That's because muscle weighs more than fat, and sometimes the body hangs onto the fat at first.

I started walking for 5 days a week (once a day) about 2 or 3 weeks ago. I wasn't walking very far (2 miles), but it hurt so much the first week I had to take painkillers before bedtime just to sleep each night. The first week of walking, I gained back 2 pounds back, and then only lost about .5 pound the next. 3 weeks later, I'm steadily losing weight again.

You are doing really well! Hang in there! :) You should be proud of yourself.
 
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Hello everyone
thank u for the support! I love seeing that no one has given up on me even though i thought i did on myself.
I'm still on hold but i'll be back :)
I do realize that i went into this thing too fast, from day one i reduced my calories by a big number and i started excercising like a pro, i didnt take the time to get my body to realize that im finally gettin of my butt. I did it all way to fast, i gotta figure out a way to go slow and eventually challange myself throught this journy one day at a time.
 
Miss lovley I do the same thing though I try to limit it to one day. For someone to totally give up foods that the rest of the world is eating takes a bigger man that I. One day of bad you can look at it as a reward but a bunch of days its hard to put that into the same reward system. Im normally craving something and for me it changes. Some weeks i want some pasta and heavy starch. Sometimes its the saltiest chips I can find and sometimes........... scratch that, Most of the time it's the richest most sinfull chocolate I can find. So see your not alone it's something most of go through and if they don't I do.......... Best wishes and keep fighting...
 
hillbillylee i see where you're comming from and it's very similar to my situation. Since the day i decided to kinda of give up, in the back of my mind i have always watched what i intake and how much of it exactly.
I think that it is a fight until the end this whole losing weight thing and that it can't be expected to go easily. I'm glad that i haven't totally give up, i think i was just so overwhelmed with everything and losing the 10 pounds in little over a week was so exiditing that i at one point told myself that , that was enough i deserved a huge reward by pigging out for a month.
I have thought about the Atkins over and over and i have researched it, but i think it's not me, It was a desperate atmept to get back into the game.
But i don't think that's my way to go, i don't believe in diets like that even though they might have worked for someone else that's awesome, but for me i don't trust myself with it, if i'm on it for a month and i fall of the wagon, what then gain all the weight back. So i'd rather take it slow, do it on my own time.
Well i think today is the day to get back into this whole thing, I am not able to think about nothing else but wanting to get back into my old routine of gym and eating right, besides i got college comming up so gotta look good for the hotties hehe :p
Today will be a tough day for me, it's like the first day.
But with enough work it can be done. I've already eaten ice cream so there's my breakfast. I'm going easy this time, i won't make such drastic changes so that i don't quit down the road once again. :)
Ttyl bye
 
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