dear diary, i want to lose 20 pounds.

hey there.
even though you've been doing this for almost a month your journey is still just beginning. deadlines and such are a good motivation. to not slack or whatever. for instance.. i want to loose 20 lbs by march 21st. some would say that is plenty of time and perhaps it is.. and that is the key i think.. to give yourself a reasonable amount of time to achieve your goal.

anyway don't be to hard on yourself you are just starting it will take consistence and time to really conform it as your lifestyle. just keep reminding yourself always.. whenever you want to cheat on your diet etc. just tell yourself "oh yeh im trying to do something here". at least thats what i do. seems to help.
 
it's kind of a funny story

on saturday, i wrote on here pouring out all of my emotions, saying that it would be the last time i'd go out of control. I read so many diaries, and for so many of you, things have been going amaingly, and you inspire me, yes YOU! but there are also some who ahve trouble like me, and i see posts that say: "ok, today is for real." "Ok, tomorrow i'll start" And when I read them, back when I was doing well, I thought to myself: I hope they get to find a way to success just like I have.
But I haven't.
For the past week, I hve been eating...and eating, not because I want to or because i'm hungry, but because I jump into it befor even thinking. I am completely impulsive....an impulsive eater. Take for today: I started off slow and steady...and then I had cheese, and some chocolate....and 6 cookies.
I am sick to my stomach right now....but I can't help it. I am completely desperate.
I am ashamed. Ashamed of the person I am and have become through food. I know I keep beating myself over it, but last night, I weighed 152 pounds.
And today.... I couldn't take the actions necessary to prevent that from happening.
I am ashamed. Ashamed that I will skip 2 days of writting in this diary because I lost control. Ashamed of keeping track of my calories because it'll be above 2000.
I am ashamed. Ashamed that I won't do my daily shred exercise, because I'm lazy.


If i'm going to live like this, I won't be able to accomplish much in life. I won't accomplish my goals, if i can't lose 25 pounds, what can I do?
So, i hope by writting this, someone will recognize themselves and will want to become my eating buddy. The diary helps, but having someone I can count on everyday to look forward to telling I didn't go overboard...that will majorly help.

And so, I finish my long entry, and hope that tomorrow, will be a better day.
 
Don't beat yourself up. Yes, eating a load of crap isn't going to make you lose weight but it's not the end of the world. Tomorrow is a new and promising day--and only YOU can take control and seize it.

May I suggest getting rid of the cookies and chocolate and such that you have in the house? Or, if that's not possible, then put it in a locked cupboard that you can't get in! Next time you want shitty food, you'll either have to make the effort to go to the shop, or just go without. I just got rid of all the crap food in my house and now when I'm hungry for snacks, I have to go without unless I can bothered to walk 25 mins to the nearest shop :)

Also, maybe replace the choc and cookies with equally yummy snacks like fruit/cereal bars (which are still really delicious!) or a huge bowl of fruit with a little sugar. It will get rid of the sugar cravings and give you something to pick at.

And I'll totally help you and be your eating buddy, as I'm sure many others will be as well! You can add me on facebook/msn/phone numbers and I'll motivate the hell out of you! :p

Next time you reach for a cookie or crappy snack just stop and ask yourself if you are hungry. If you ARE hungry, then a cookie or fat filled snack wont fill you up. If you just want something to pick at and arent really hungry then just have something healthy.

You can do it. And we'll all support you. Back up on the ol' wagon and kick ass tomorrow!
 
Sunflower said:
Also, maybe replace the choc and cookies with equally yummy snacks like fruit/cereal bars (which are still really delicious!) or a huge bowl of fruit with a little sugar. It will get rid of the sugar cravings and give you something to pick at.

And I'll totally help you and be your eating buddy, as I'm sure many others will be as well! You can add me on facebook/msn/phone numbers and I'll motivate the hell out of you! :p

Next time you reach for a cookie or crappy snack just stop and ask yourself if you are hungry. If you ARE hungry, then a cookie or fat filled snack wont fill you up. If you just want something to pick at and arent really hungry then just have something healthy.
Click to expand...

Thanks so much sunflower!! i love that fruit/sugar idea!!
For the chocolates/cookies, it isn't my decision, I do live with my family, so that is hard, but i'll ask my mom if she could hide some of the nastier foods hahah.
And yes, pm me for the buddy thing! it would help a lot and it woul be extremely encouraging!
 
a day to remember

these past few days have been rough! but today i got back on track! i woke up this morning and had a rather satisfying breakfast and then had gym (dance) class. It was my first official class of the semester and it went really well. It got me pumped to get back into my exercise regimen. The rest of the day has been going fairly well, I've been controlling my eating and I don't have those crazy cravings anymore. I am trying to find snack ideas which will help me fill that sugar filling without necessarily having all of the extra calories.
So the stats for today:

1 scrambled egg
1 toast (120)
1 banana (110)
1 slice cantaloupe (35)
1 cup grapes (70)
1 chicken breast + vegies on side (300)
2 tsps hummus + pita (100)
1 apple (80)
rice + zucchini stew (500)
salad (50)

Exercise
Dance class/2 hours (-125) we didn't do that much today, so thats my approximation

TOTAL
1330 calories for the day

I'll eat 2/3 dates just to boost it up after supper

Nobody said the journey would be easy... and nobody said I'd see results after the first weeks... but boy oh boy I'm I excited to see what I'll look like by Feb 28th
 
hey everyone!
well last night, after I made my post, I can of drifted off once it was time for supper... I was really hungry so I can of snacked here and there on dates and dried fruit..which is horrible, but last night I vowed to change my habits, because I hate the feeling of discomfort I feel when I want to dress in the morning, and how I nag onto my clothes to cover myself. so this morning, things started off on a good note.

2 dates (67)
10 grapes (50)
BREAKFAST:
1 egg (90)
1 toast (120)
1 pear (80)
1/2 banana (55)
1 nectarine (45)

That is 507 calories, and I have about 1000 to spare, perfect!
 
Still alive!

heyyy :)
i haven't been keeping track of my diary for the past few weeks, oops. I do have to say that I completely gave up and caved in to temptation. But i am back, that's the most important part. Ready to get rock hard abs haha
Actually let's give a quick update:
Though food wise i've been slacking.. I've been hitting the gym 3 times a week at school with friends! Even though it is the most packed when I have a chance to go, I still manage to get about 30 minutes of cardio, which is good. When the weather's gonna get warmer, I will start running out in the wild instead :)
I met up with a personal trainer last friday (it was free, so, I jumped on the occasion)and well... I am kind of dissapointed with the experience. I felt not the most comfortable talking about everything with him and felt really rushed when explaining.. didn't really seem to care much either. Basically he said: "If you're gonna lose 15 pounds, which you will in 2 months with me, you need to lower your intake to 1200 cals/day..." after he said that I was like fuck that. But he did made me do a pretty intense circuit:

squats + steps with 20 lbs weights/
lateral pull down machine at 60 lbs,
push ups,
sit ups with 10 lbs
leg lifts with my back up against a bosu
10 minutes on elliptical level at 130 strides a minute....

THIS 3 TIMES! i was dead after the first hahaha

So i won't be following what he said... I just want to get myself to the gym and do as much as i can.

Today I had an amazng day :D! About 1400 cals and burned off about 350 of it with dance class + gym, hurray!


i am just so stocked to be back on here :D
 
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I just finished jillian's 30 day shred level 2... i hadn't done it for a month! it's a killer! But i'm glad i did it :)
Today went rather well, I went out today and I shared a panini with a friend, which was indeed delicious but i did the exercise to compensate for it.

so far today:

1 cream cheese sandwhich (240)
1 orange (65)
2 cups grapes (130)... grapes are so delicious!
2 dates (66)
1/2 chicken panini with a fewfries (500)...hopefully!
1 tsp hummus with pita (60)

that makes about 1061 cals... I burned about 150 with the shred, and I still have to eat supper :
1/2 cup rice + stew (300)
salad (50)
 
supper went by so well! I'm really happy that i didn't go all gaga, especially since it was one of my favorite meals!

Ah, and so the day ends marvelously:hurray:
 
Quick update for this morning:

1/2 cup non fat yogurt (65)
1/2 cup koshi go lean cereal (125)

Today is starting out mighty fine!
 
Today was such a weird day! Ugh, I'm feeling a bit sick, I think a cold is slowly creeping onto me. Anywho, thus far I've had an amazing day, the week is going by mighty fine!

1 cup grapes(65)
1 ground beef sandwich + lettuce + hot peppers(250)
20 carrots (45)
1 rice cake (35)
1 cup rice + stew (400)

With breakfast that's about 985, so I'll have 1-2 snacks during the evening.

I went to the gym, wasn't feeling all in all that great, but I still kicked ass on the elliptical, about 30 minutes burned off 325 cals... but i'm gonna approximate 250.. because I mean I don't know whether im acually burning that amount or not... what do you think? Do you usually go with what the machine says?
 
It depends a lot on the particular machine, if you can put your details into the machine it is a little more accurate than one that doesn't, I use a heart rate monitor to work out my calorie burn.
 
Trusylver said:
It depends a lot on the particular machine, if you can put your details into the machine it is a little more accurate than one that doesn't, I use a heart rate monitor to work out my calorie burn.
Click to expand...

Thanks! I guess i should start thinking about maybe getting one of those...

So I ended up finishing the day with
1 tsp hummus + pita (60)
1 orange (65)
A handful of raisins and a few almonds (200)

About 1300 cals!! :D
 
I officially have a cold...and it couldn't have come at a worse time! My next two weeks aare packed with midterms + essays... and there's the winter olympics.. my oh my!
I've been doing really well today! I am so happy, the scale moved! I was 152 lbs before coming back on here (yes, i gaines 3 lbs in about 3 weeks, yikes!) But i a now 149!! My week still isnt over, but I am so motivated to keep it going!

So, as i mentionned, i'm sick, but i still managed to hit the gym, and just run for 20 minutes and then do some situps. A nice and simple workout

1 grapefruit(82)
1 motts fruit cup thingy (50)
1 avocade spread + feta cheese + mustard + hot peppers + tomato sandwich (I was in the mood to experiment haha, it was delicious!) (388)
20 carrots (40)
Raisins + Almonds (200)
Hummus + pita (60)
250 ml patatoe + leek soup (110)
1/2 sandwich bun (85)

That's about 1015 cals... say 1100 cals for the day til now. I have about 400 to spare on fruits! Which i desperately want to eat right now.. mmmm oranges oranges oranges!

in: 1100
out: 225
 
Hello :)
So the olympics have officialy started, which is kind of really motivating haha!
I really dread saturdays... because
1) it's usually the day where I have to push myself to get a lot of school work done
2) I'm usually home alone for most of the day and I snack a lot, a lot, a lot! BAD BAD BAD!

SO far today ... hasnt been off to a great start but whatever:

1/2 cup non fat yogurt (65)
1/2cup koshi go lean cereal (125)
2 cups grapes (130)
Pita + hummus (And some bites of pita+butter) (150)
Raisins (50)

..... not too good! I'm almost at 700 cals, and still have like 12/13 hours left!
So my goals for today:

Finish my essay.
Plan a sheduled day which says when, at what time, I get to eat.
Sticking to the plan.
Not going over 1500 cals
Doing the 30 day shred. It's a half hour exercise = unecessary calories being burned! I gotta do it.

I can do it!
 
I would love to watch the olympics but time zones and exams are not permitting... I might watch them online in a week or two... how sad!

Anyhow, I totally understand the weekend problem, I spend my weekends mostly alone in an empty flat, so to prevent snacking I buy nothing snackable! I still sometimes steal my flatmates snacks (popcorn is my passion!) but I am trying to live on a very tight budget so I don't allow it too often because it would mean I have to buy them their snacks back.

Otherwise I think you are doing it all fine, the exercise sounds good, the cal intake sounds good (we are at a similat BMI so I am comparing directly to myself), you should have told the PT that you were not looking to lose 15 pounds in 2 months and then yoyo back up, but to find a lifestyle that fit you and a lower weight in fine. Maybe you won't lose 15 pounds in 2 months but need 3 or 4 or 6 for it but if in a year you are still there... then you have won! You did it right and you can be proud of yourself.

Have a great weekend, Camy
 
Camy said:
Otherwise I think you are doing it all fine, the exercise sounds good, the cal intake sounds good (we are at a similat BMI so I am comparing directly to myself), you should have told the PT that you were not looking to lose 15 pounds in 2 months and then yoyo back up, but to find a lifestyle that fit you and a lower weight in fine. Maybe you won't lose 15 pounds in 2 months but need 3 or 4 or 6 for it but if in a year you are still there... then you have won! You did it right and you can be proud of yourself.

Have a great weekend, Camy
Click to expand...

Thank youu Camy!! It's so true too, I'd much rather do it at a slower pace then make a drastic change... only to gain it all back.
As for the snacking, it's pretty hard since I do live with my parents, so whatever hey buy goes, I mean if they want their chips, i'll let em have it, but on saturdays i just get bored of studying, and then the chips become widely amusing ahah.

As for today, I mean I knew it wouldnt be going that great: I've been snacking on chocolate/chips and we're ordering in. But you know what, I'm not sad or angry at myself for it. Realistically speaking, this is a lifestyle I want to keep, and I love my junk food, so no matter how much I lose, junk food will always be a part of my diet. It won't be a daily thing but from time to time I will have some, and I wont prevent myself from eating it. I think that having that food that you really love will help you stay on track, just as long as you kick yourself in the butt the next following days and work hard.
Actually, the past week Ifound out that Maria Menounos, one of the reporters for access hollywood which I always found gorgeous, lost about 40 pounds and the way she did it really motivated me. So yea, today i'll be about 2100 cals... but thats fine, tomorrow ill try to bring my intake to about 1300 and see how it goes.
 
hey guys!
ok, so as i stepped onto the scale, i knew itd go up because of yesterday and it did. So today, I'm just going to lower my intake to about 1200, it's low, but I just woke up + i'll be sleeping early + i'm not hungry so yea.
And for the next 3 days, I'll be lowering my intake to about 1400 cals.So mon, tues, wed. And then i'll bring it back up to 1500.

Tomorrow is m official weigh in for the week!
I can do this!
 
Golddddd

YESSSS,GOLD FOR CANADAAAAA!!! :party: im sorry, i just can't hide my excitement, and the olympics... so much hype, YESSS!

Ok, well let me update real quick: I achieved success today too hehe :)
I said I'd have 1200 cals for the day, and i did!! I wrote down everything, I still snacked here and there but I took it into account

1 pear(81)
1 orange(65)
1 cup grapes(65)
Raisins(84)
20 almonds(80)
3 dates(100)
1 yogurt(35)
1 cup rice + eggplant stew (450)
Salad (50)
I snaked here and there'ish (200)

Whopping 1210 cals for the day! SUCCESS! take that pizza night.
 
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