DCarr10760
New member
CG,
I was married and now divorced from the woman who is the mother of my two older boys. I am now life-partnered with the woman who is the mother of my youngest son, Davy.
Getting married now, for me is complicated. Having children from my first marriage complicates things financially and from an estate planning point of view.
While my partner has come to love my older children, they are not "hers." Since she and I bring $$$ to the relationship, she wants to ensure that her share goes to her child (Davy) and isn't divided 3 ways. I respect that, but I want to protect the rights of all of my children, and particularly want to help my older boys through college.
So it is hard for she and I to put all our marbles into one bag. For the present, until my older boys are through college, it is simpler to stay separate financially and not marry.
I believe we will get married, one day. But I am content with things this way. My commitment to her is absolute and I am (like you) unencumbered by religious concerns (regarding marriage).
It sure doesn't sound very romantic does it? We went through a very hard time, she and I working this all out and it left lots of bruises to us both. But marriage is a partnership involving romance, legal status and finances and these things need balance to work well.
It is soooo much simpler when you are young and have nothing but love and build your lives together. But the reality with second marriages with kids is that the business part needs to work in lockstep with the romance.
David C
I was married and now divorced from the woman who is the mother of my two older boys. I am now life-partnered with the woman who is the mother of my youngest son, Davy.
Getting married now, for me is complicated. Having children from my first marriage complicates things financially and from an estate planning point of view.
While my partner has come to love my older children, they are not "hers." Since she and I bring $$$ to the relationship, she wants to ensure that her share goes to her child (Davy) and isn't divided 3 ways. I respect that, but I want to protect the rights of all of my children, and particularly want to help my older boys through college.
So it is hard for she and I to put all our marbles into one bag. For the present, until my older boys are through college, it is simpler to stay separate financially and not marry.
I believe we will get married, one day. But I am content with things this way. My commitment to her is absolute and I am (like you) unencumbered by religious concerns (regarding marriage).
It sure doesn't sound very romantic does it? We went through a very hard time, she and I working this all out and it left lots of bruises to us both. But marriage is a partnership involving romance, legal status and finances and these things need balance to work well.
It is soooo much simpler when you are young and have nothing but love and build your lives together. But the reality with second marriages with kids is that the business part needs to work in lockstep with the romance.
David C
Sorry you had such a shitty evening.haha. I hope you feel better, though. It is hard enough to go to work, etc when you're feeling down. But taking care of a child who's not feeling so hot either just makes it worse. But I'll bet little Davy was cute as could be when he was all happily snuggled in bed. Guess that makes it all worth it.
Then we went to the restaurant and I got happier! Then when we said goodbye to the owners we went to my favorite Irish bar and became happier still.
