Cybermama

Im emotional again today. Im not sure why myself. Could have been I am upset about the slight weight gain but I dont think so.

Im more upset about the fact that I could not exercise.

I really cant explain why Im so emotional today. ive been quite hot-headed for a couple of days.

Well, maybe its my PMS, ive not come my mensuration for years now. Well reason is, I was pregnant with my 3rd child, breastfed him till im pregnant with the 4th, no menses while pregnant and continued with breastfeeding, no menses for 3-4 years now. Really long time.

Maybe its suppose to be the time of the month and my hormone surge is still there.

Well, ate a little too much this evening. As I usually stop eating by 7pm

Ate a few crackers from the kids twisties pack. a handful of nuts and half a square of brownie.

Perhaps its the brownie? maybe im just filled with guilt.

Well, its 12.05 midnight here. 24th October 2008. Happy Birthday to me!

On a lighter side...

Finally this afternoon, our lawyer called to say that our house in JB, Malaysia is now ours finally. All the neccessary documentations are done and its now finally ours! So so happy!
 
Came across this questionaire that everyone is doing. I want to do it too. It will help me remember my goal & purpose of this weight loss better.

What is your current height and weight?
117KG
If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
70KG
At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
100KG
Why do you want to lose weight?
I want to be healthy. Id like to buy over the counter clothes instead of havint to buy plus size or specially sewn clothes for myself!
Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event?
Nope.
What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
My Asthma
Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
Im generally FAT!
What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
I have to choose the right kind of food & exercise regularly.

Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
No Dicipline, lack of self control

What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
I tried Herbalife. It was working for a while but I got sick of taking shakes.

Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
Yes, I will. It would help me keep track.
Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
We eat out and my maid cooks at home also.
How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
Most of the time to Swensons or any Seafood Restaurant
What are your three favorite foods?
Fish & Chips, Satay, Deep Fried Fish or Steam Fish
What are your three favorite restaurants?
Swensons, Breeks, Singgah Selalu
What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
I need to have self control and eat moderately. One bite policy does work.
If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
I will kiss my own butt in such happiness!
Do you eat when you are not hungry?
I do, sometimes I snack but seldom.
Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
Nope. Used to.
Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
No
Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
Yes, but nowadays I seldom.
Do you eat as a reward?
Not really
Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
Yes, Everyday.
What do you normally eat for a meal?
Vegetables and some protein meat
In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
Elliptical & Turbo Jam
Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
Home only
What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
Elliptical, Step Reebok, Walking
What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
I see the photos of successful people at the biggest loser site
Do you have rewards for certain goals?
Yes, I do.
110KG - buy a new dress
100KG - alter and wear my old dresses that are still very new! These are very expensive nice dresses
90 KG -
80KG
70KG
 
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No change in weight whatsoever.

Breakfast
wholemeal bread 2 slices 145
3 spoon dalcha 75
1 pc rendang cube 35
2 small cubes of brownie( its just so tempting, i chose to take it early in the morning so it would be burned off later in the day) 180
Total 320

Lunch
3 pc chicken sweet sour fillet baked 320 calories
1 spoonful potatoe gravy 90
1 bowl full of various vegetables boiled. includes kai lan, brocolli, ?califlower (forgot how to spell it), snow peas 70
total 410 calories

Snack
4 pc of cucur ( pan fried, yes, its oily but its been months since i ate one of these and I just love it and its my birthday.... I just need a little timeout.)
total 120

Dinner
Grilled Chicken fillet sandwich with cheese, chili sause and low fat mayo 1 teaspoon
320 + 145 + 64 + 25 = 555

Total - 320+410+120+555= 1405

Wow, look what I ate and im still below 1500 and well, plus minus some more calories, im still below on target.

Alas... at 8.32 pm, I took some cookies... hmmm... think im stresses out.

and late night supper!!!

hmmm... im just too much today!! Oh WHAT THE HELL!! Im Enjoying myself!! Its my birthday!!
 
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Happy birthday :)

It's your birthday. If you feel like eating half a brownie, then do it! It's a present to yourself.

I can relate with the emotional feeling. Hang in there. Tomorrow's another day and hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow :)

BTW, saw your before and current pictures SO inspiring!!! You have made some absolutely amazing weight loss progress. Keep it up!

Enjoy your birthday :)
 
gohomejes said:
Happy birthday :)

It's your birthday. If you feel like eating half a brownie, then do it! It's a present to yourself.

I can relate with the emotional feeling. Hang in there. Tomorrow's another day and hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow :)

BTW, saw your before and current pictures SO inspiring!!! You have made some absolutely amazing weight loss progress. Keep it up!

Enjoy your birthday :)
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Yeah! You're right! Its my birthday and I will eat a brownie if I want to! It should be Guilt Free!!

Yeah, funny right these emotions, sometimes, they just surge in with no clue at all.

Thank you so so so much for your message! You made my day much much more happy!
 
Well, its almost 5 pm now and I have gotten all the birthday wishes from everyone, even my DAD! He sang a birthday song on the phone to me, my sister wishes me happy birthday with a heartfelt message and prayer with it. My other sister send me her wishes. My aunt and my cousin wishes me a happy birthday. One of my friends wishes me a happy birthday also, well all exept one guy, the one that matters the most to me forgot its my birthday. How ironic is it. My husband.

Well, I just kept silent, I didnt make any noise, just behave normally like any ordinary day of the year. I didnt show him if im upset about it. I just want to see how far this will go and once its 25th October, im going to tell him, thank you for forgetting its my birthday. I will have the chance to prove to him that I didnt forget his birthday but he had forgotten mine. Well, he is always whining that I forgot his birthday and all. That he is not important to me and all. Well, soon, I will have something to at last stop ALL THAT WHINING!

I must admit, I am a little dissapointed.
 
I will wish you a happy birthday also!! Although I am not the person whom you want to say it, I hope it helps somehow anyway.
 
Just eaten the supper! What a meal!! My tummy is so bloated. Im trying my best not to feel any guilt about it. For god's sake, its my birthday and I just want to be happy for this day!

I dont think I fell of the wagon! Its just one day out of the many many days of strict eating and months of not tasting the food I just taken for my supper. Well, its super unhealthy food. Dont ask me what it is!

Urghhh... my tummy really hurts now! Really do! I think ive not eaten like this for a long time, could be the reason It hurts. I just feel like throwing up just to feel better.

Im now going to rest and just digest all the guilt I just swallowed into my stomach!!

I hope I wont gain too much tomorrow!!! Im not weighing myself tomorrow!!!
 
Girl it was your birthday! Perfect reason to eat whatever you want and feel good about it! Look how far you've come since last year!You deserved to celebrate! :hurray:
 
Didnt dare weight myself today!!

Anyway, woke up with a birthday cake and candles, with the kids in party hats and noise makers. I was still so sleepy, couldnt even open my eyes!!

My husband said sorry about forgetting my birthday yesterday and said that he was too tired.. well, we did get into a small argument and I made him feel guilty when he wished me Happy Birthday last night at 9pm. Had to do that coz, he really made me feel so sad.

Well, he pasted birthday wishes on the wall of the room and in the hall. Kids enjoyed themselves blowing candles and the cake was tasty!

On with my life...


Breakfast
1 pc of chocolate birthday cake 190

Lunch
1 bowl lodeh ( mixed vegetables in coconut milk) 153
2 boiled eggs 153
1 glass hot milo 164

Dinner
Chicken Briyani without the rice
 
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Hope its not too late, friend..Haaaapppy Birthdaaaay to you...I am glad that your hub remembers your special day even if its a few hours too late but better late than nothing..;-)). Totally understand what you meant by your ups and down ..been having lots of that lately and last week was one of my worst week ever so that why i can feel my weight or diet went haywire sooo sad but am trying to get out of THAT situation and work on the positive..anyway i have a wedding to attend to, today and tomorrow and will try to control on my briyani intake..(yeah rite...:-D) but I really hope that i can skip the briyani and the kueh kueh...Another thing..be very proud of your achievement..always remember you will be BRAND NEW PERSON by this time next year...Take care....Happy birthday again....gorgeous...
 
Taz said:
Another thing..be very proud of your achievement..always remember you will be BRAND NEW PERSON by this time next year...Take care....Happy birthday again....gorgeous...
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AMIN!!!


Anyway, talk about Briyani... today, my friend invited me to her house for housewarming party. Well, she's a chinese so she bought me something halal and it turned out to be Beriyani!! Well, cant be rude right, she went all the way for me. I was the only Muslim there... ate it, besides the rice that it. She was quite surprise cause she knows I can finish all of it... hahaha.. I wanted to... Good luck on your ujiannn... hehe.. 2 weddings are NOT easy!!
Godaan tu!!
 
Ha ha..hello am back, didn't have briyani for the Sat event, cos its just the nikah ceremony and they had the lauk Jawa..I fed my daughter rice but I was just munching on the veges and some of the sambal goreng..i know bad but i didn't feel like taking the rice..but I was eating this small kueh ..i dun know what its called..guess briyani will be for tomorrow then...the sunday event..But you beat me to it..you had the briyani first...tomorrow will be another eating day again..might be going there abt 12 plus and will be staying on since its my husband's cousin wedding..so plenty of munchies around..Most likely on Sunday night or Monday night time to take the Teh Kampung out...LOL...have a good sunday, dear...
 
Taz said:
Ha ha..hello am back, didn't have briyani for the Sat event, cos its just the nikah ceremony and they had the lauk Jawa..I fed my daughter rice but I was just munching on the veges and some of the sambal goreng..i know bad but i didn't feel like taking the rice..but I was eating this small kueh ..i dun know what its called..guess briyani will be for tomorrow then...the sunday event..But you beat me to it..you had the briyani first...tomorrow will be another eating day again..might be going there abt 12 plus and will be staying on since its my husband's cousin wedding..so plenty of munchies around..Most likely on Sunday night or Monday night time to take the Teh Kampung out...LOL...have a good sunday, dear...
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Good luck on the Teh Kampung!! I still remember those days on it.... lol but who cares, as far as it works!

12 plus should still be fine to take briyani... still the whole day to burn it off!! :drooling: I miss briyani.... a good tasty briyani.... :drooling: lol!!
 
Woke up so late. Slept pretty late last night at around 3 am.

Woke up at 1 pm today.

So its straight to lunch
1 bowl lodeh
1 boiled egg

Dinner
1 swenson's baked fish with pasta ( I didnt eat the pasta) This is the High School musical special promotion that they had going on.
1 bowl corn soup
4 pc shitake mushroom deep fried (hmm... not so healthy here)
smoked salmon salad ( hated the salmon, didnt finish the salad, too much dressing on it)

Had an early dinner which was around 3-4 pm. After that Im full all the way.

Not a good week for me, full of food. My food intake is unhealthily in large portions rather than small regular portions like I normally take as a result my scale did not move. Im not blaming myself, happen to have a few feast happening due to some events and events like this do happen again and again in life so I need to find a way to adjust and keep loosing. Im still keeping myself motivated towards this journey towards weight loss and maintainence!

Was watching spongebob squarepants marathon with the kids! Had som uch fun cause its so so funny!! I really love spongebob, always waited to watch spongebob with the kids on Nick channel.
 
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Hi there, i have started with my diary..abt time to get that started...do check it out when u can..
 
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