Couch POTATO to "MARATHON" HONEY! :)

[Alta818]

Food Today:

Bkfst 9:00 am (at work): ½ cup of Fiber One Cereal (60 cals)
½ cup of Almond Milk –regular flavor (30 cals)
12 oz. warm green tea

Snack: 11:30 am 7 Ikea meatballs (cold) haha…220 cals

Lunch: 2:00 pm 16 oz. water first
(they bought it for me at work): ½ white pita (85 cals)-damn! Should have left it alone
2 little squares of chicken size of my pinkie finger
4 little balls of meat –Mediterranean kebob style –
6 bites of salad dipped in some yogurt sauce-damn!
(guessing 160 calories in meat/chicken alone)
(40 cals in yogurt sauce dip-few dips)
(20 cals in salad)====305 calories! WOAAA!!! That’s a shit load!!!


---------------------------Assuming I stick to this--------by the end of the day (will be) ==930 cals

Exercise: 200 bathroom Squats so far (2 bathroom times x 100 squats each time= 200 )
200 arm flies so far (100 arm lifts x 2= 200 )


***Cheated like a MUTHERFUCKA! DAMN!!!!!! *****

It was my little brother's birthday yesterday, (actually wed) and I took him to play miniature golf and he was SO excited.....5 years old! His little eyes lit SO BRIGHT as we walked up and he saw all the courses with waterfalls..and I said..."Roman, you like it?"....and he said,..."Awta, no, I LOVEEEE it!" LOL...was the cutest thing ever!

Afterwards, I wanted them to sing to him with his best friend and we went to El Torito a mexican restaurant. The kids got food, and I ate :

1/2 of a dish (split it with my friend)
1 flour tortilla with grilled veggies and grilled chicken strips in it
1 flour tortilla rolled up with melted cheese in it and sauce ontop (forgot what it's called)
and....2 cadillac margaritas (the ones with the little shot on the side) on the rocks! FUCK!!!!
1 quarter of m&m's too
chips and salsa too

-----All in all-----the FUN that my little brother got was SO IMMENSE that it was worth the crap I ate. I should have ordered a salad and called it a day! But no....but he had a blast! He was worth the whole event!

 

[Alta818]

Thank you guys for your support in this annoying weight time for me right now! I will be back tonight to post back to your wonderful responses! Love you guys!

 

[Ankebuzz]

I totally haven't even gotten round to figuring out what you've been up to, but so you know, I'm around!!!

 

[Alta818]

Alta - I totally feel your frustration. Even though the weight crawled up on you so fast, I know you can lose it just as quickly. You have all the tools and knowledge to get yourself to where you want to be. I know I've gone backwards myself, and it hurts. I want to eat everything bad for me but I know I can't and I know I can't excuse the "cheats" and the slip ups anymore if I want to get back to where I was. Damn alcohol is what kills me too. I wish I had better self control. I am to the point where I'm going to work and babysit the next two weekends so that I CANT go out and party! I know you've got plenty of things that can keep you occupied as well so focus on those things for a while and celebrate when you smash down those 11 pounds cuz they ain't got shit on you Alta! You will be back down on the scales before you know it. Hope things get better for you soon but sometimes it's good to have a bitchathon! So let it all out and tomorrow is a new day!

Sarah- oh Sarrrrrahhhh!!

The "woes of the fat" get me every time! hahah....FOR REAL! It really is annoying to be a freaking yo yo. And just like you said,...."It's the cheat days" that I can't excuse any more. The alcohol kills me too, but staying busy and reminding myself that it's only for weekends and special occasions at that has been easing my mind throughout the week. It doesn't help with these damn LAKERS playing all the time though, and everyone around me always wanting to party! Fuckers! Damn temptations! I love socializing with drinks. Another mental association which could be changed and shall be changed. Don't even get me STARTED on BUFFALO WINGS and my love for them....

Thanks for your support! Means a lot coming from such a determined individual. And BITCHATHON is OVER!!! ...."WORK BITCH!" (that's what it says on the picture of Kim Kardashian in a bikini on my bathroom mirror) hahah..."NO OTHER WAY AROUND IT!" (that's what else it says!)

...off to do it!

 

[Alta818]

11 pounds in a week sounds like carb weight. maybe from the hotdog hamburg buns from camping. no white bread / empty carbs for a week should drop it fast.

I think you are right! I did weigh myself the 2 days later and it said...160lbs. Then the next day after a night of white carbs (Hawaiian breads-4 rolls) it said 163.5 in the morning. I don't even want to see what it says after the weekend. Though I didn't do as bad as usually. LOL

I appreciate the advice! You are the best!

 

[Alta818]

Hey Alta - I can feel your pain too - that has happened to me so many times. But you always get back on track and stay positive which is so inspiring! You know it's almost all water weight so if you work hard for two weeks it should be gone! Get on that treadmill girl! Alcohol did it for me last weekend too and even though I had a good week I had probably over 30 drinks last weekend and no matter how good of a week I'm still going to be up because of it. The truth is you have to have fun still while being on your journey and if that means letting lose every now and then - then so be it! You'll pick yourself back up and it will all be worth it! I bet you had a ton of fun at camp with your friends and you wouldn't take that back to be a couple pounds lighter on the scale. You shouldn't anyway and just remember it is one day at a time and you will get there! Great attitude as always - you can do it!

Lisa! You are very very right!! I love the fun I have sometimes & it is worth it afterall sometimes. Life is a rollercoaster I tell myself all the time,...."How would we recognize if we are at the top, without having been to the bottom right?"

I love and adore your compliments! It means so much that you think I'm positive. It's tough sometimes in my own head. The ups and downs I go through, but YES, it is about maintaining positivity and getting back up! I know that you have as well gained and lost a couple times as well, and you know how frustrating it is as well. Especially, that you see others get so close to their goals (like you ) and it's inspiring and demoralizing as well. Makes me feel sometimes like I'll never ever get there!

I know that is not true though. Just as I felt that I would never run a marathon, I did. It may take me a longer time, than most others but FUCK IT! My journey is still going.

Sometimes, I wonder,...."Do I not want to lose all the weight because it will mean my journey of my entire life will be over?" ...hmmm....I wonder. Then I slap myself upside the head and say "Shut the hell up, Alta! Maintence BITCH! Do it!! That's the next journey. You will never forget where you came from. Don't be scarred to let go the comfort from the past." !!!

 

[Alta818]

I totally haven't even gotten round to figuring out what you've been up to, but so you know, I'm around!!!

BooowWWooWOoW ChiicCaaBoowoOOWOoW!!! I missed YOUUUUUUUU!!! Glad to see your ass in here! I had to stalk you for ages it felt like, but glad you are BACK!!!! How about we do this once and for all huh!?!

 

[chubbygirl]

Damn temptations! I love socializing with drinks.

I do too - I really love it and I know I won't be able to give it up so I'm trying the whole moderation thing and sometimes I stick with it but sometimes I go over board - such is life. I figure once a week isn't bad since it's what I really enjoy!

Makes me feel sometimes like I'll never ever get there!

I know that feeling too - like when I went back to WW and had gained 19 pounds in 9 weeks!! I wanted to turn around and go to the chinese food buffet next to WW instead of attending the meeting! but if I would have done that I would be up 30 pounds in 20 weeks so I kept fighting and now I'm back down! It was a quote you said before about never losing if you keep trying so that's what I've done!

I know that is not true though. Just as I felt that I would never run a marathon, I did. It may take me a longer time, than most others but FUCK IT! My journey is still going.

I have been trying to get to my goal weight since I can remember - 2003 is when I was at my highest so I believe you will get there too - I'm not there yet! I also believe maintaining will be a whole new journey that I am almost ready to begin!

Sometimes, I wonder,...."Do I not want to lose all the weight because it will mean my journey of my entire life will be over?" ...hmmm....I wonder. Then I slap myself upside the head and say "Shut the hell up, Alta! Maintence BITCH! Do it!! That's the next journey. You will never forget where you came from. Don't be scarred to let go the comfort from the past." !!!

I have wondered that before too but lately I think I am ready to let it go and move forward - I never want to go back to my size 14 clothes - unless I have a baby of course - then it will be another new journey! I will never have to quit trying and taking it one day at a time! There will always be challenges and as long as we can stay positive and try our best when needed we will succed!
You are a huge motivation to me and you have so many wonderful things going on in your journey that you should be proud of - smashing the pounds this week might not be one of them but maybe next week will!! Just keep being you and I know great things will come!! I know you are a busy lady but I love your updates so keep them coming!! take care!

 

[Alta818]

Thank you Lisa.... I appreciate every drop of word you place in here, much needed! I love that you come to read. I'll post for you!

 

[Alta818]

Thank God today is a new day because I FAILED and cheated yesterday.

It was my little brother Roman's 5th birthday, and I took him to Malibu Castle Miniature golf. It was so cute, he had never been and was so excited to go! I invited his best friend JJ with him and his mom (my friend) and we played games and as he walked up the ramp where the waterfalls are and the little golf courses are, he was like "WOW, we get to play here?!" I said..."Yes! Do you like it Roman?!"...he said... "Awta, no, I LOVEE it!".... Awww it was such a cute comment!

We were doing JUST fine until I saw a quarter machine ...then yup, there went my quarter and there came the M&M's. You would think I would have took it as a sign, that 2 of the 3 peanut M&M's fell on the floor, but NO! I pushed on, and shoved another quarter in there! hahaha....Fuck! That was the beginning of it...

I wanted them to sing to Roman afterwards, so we decided to go to EL TORITO (A mexican restaurant) and instead of ordering what should have been a salad, me and my friend decided to spit a dish. Here's the damage:

2 cadillac margaritas on the rocks-the one with a little shot next to it (2x)
1 flour tortilla wrapped with veggies grilled from fajita in it with tiny strips of chicken
1 bite of beans
1 wrapped flour tortilla stuffed with cheese and melted red sauce (forgot what it's called)
chips and salsa-damn near half a basket, wouldn't be surprised if almost the entire basket damn!!!


They terrorized the entire place, but he was SOOOOO happy it was so sweet. It was worth his smile at the end of it all, got home late and crashed out!

-----Here is how today has looked so far----

Woke up late--no time to prepare food-grabbed the cereal box and the milk box and left

bkfst: 16oz. water
1 cup of Fiber One cereal (120 cals)
1 cup of Almond Milk (60 cals)
**I actually felt really satisfied for hours, where as usually I get hungry at 11:30am. But today, I just ate at 1:30 pm again.**
(huge dump-sorry tmi....LOL...the damn fiber!) 100 arm/leg squats + 100 arm flies (bathroom workout)

Snack: 16. oz water
(bathroom workout-100 arm/leg squats + 100 arm flies)
--a while later --bathroom workout-100 arm/leg squats + 100 arm flies)

Lunch: 6 oz of smoked peppered salmon (160)
1 cup of Almond milk (60 cals)
1 cup of Fiber one cereal (120 cals)
16. oz of water

----so today so far----520 cals-----


I'm feeling WEAAAAAAK!!! There is a LAKER game tonight, and I sooooooooo want to go with my bf to a bar and have some drinks and eat buffalo wings!!! UGGGGG...not to mention drink away the fact that my car is at the shop right now, and I have to pick it up right now in a few hours for $275!!! And that is because I negotiated and gave a sob story and chopped off like $150 dollars. Also, on Friday I shelled out $212 for a red light ticket, and now the DAMN internet bill is due today too, and it's like a million dollars too. The lucky numbers for today have seemed to land on the $200's...and no less. Do you see why I want to drink?! HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! 911...goals going down the drain and being sabotaged by my pocket. Fuck!!!!

{{Alta}}} Thanks for listening!

 

[Alta818]

Note to self: Suggestion I need in Hypnosis session next time.....

"Each and every time financial issues come up, you will no longer feel the desire to DRINK and EAT your way out and hide from the issue, but instead you will feel INSPIRED to take control and face the issues and eat healthy and workout as an outlet instead!"

 

[skkroll]

Wings and beer... nothing better! Ahhh!!!! Hope things get all sorted out and fall into place for you soon Alta! Do your best to deal with the stress the healthy way though like you said! It's probably cheaper that way too what with all the $$$$ you can throw down on a night out chompin on wings and guzzlin' down beers!

 

[douknowjello]

Hiya Alta! Was so great to see a familiar face!!!! So weird though...you and I started around the same time but I come back and so many are gone. People kept posting in my old diary that they all went to some other forum but then I'd go to these other forums and they weren't active there either. So I think I'll stick with where I know I'll have to try to catch up on your journal later but I know I won't be able to read all I've missed. I read a bit though and sorry to hear you're having so much stress. Lack of money and transportation, that'll do it every time though for sure. We're down to one car here and week before last my brakes went out...while I was driving. Luckily I wasn't following anyone close and didn't hit the car in front of me but then I had to go a whole week scrambling for rides to work. Depending on others sucks, seriously. Anyway have my car back now but our friends said to drive only when we have to cuz its on its last legs...great! LOL Anyway, I know this isn't much consolation while you're goin through it but hang in there, things do get better! *HUGZ* ~Lisa

 

[chubbygirl]

Hey Alta - how'd you make out last night? I'd want to drink with all those things going on too - stay strong girl!! The eating looked good yesterday so keep it up this week and finish it off strong! I know you can do it! Have a good day!

 

[Alta818]

What goes on in my mind on SABOTAGE days...GRR!!!

So Yesterday....

Picked up car, chopped it up with him about old days since he knows the guy whom my mom dated for years and lived with us, paid the guy. Felt relieved that we didn’t have to change all the coils. Got mad at my bf because he was an HOUR late to pick me up from work and take me there, because of his work for the day with his partner and traffic in LA is horrible. So …yeah, I got upset , and just wanted to be mad and silent while driving there. I apologized sincerely by the time he dropped me off because it isn’t like me to take things out on him. I felt really bad. After all, he did do me a favor by picking me up from far at the moment., and it wasn’t his fault I had to pay for my car. Hahah…

Went to the Market after, he went back to work instead of the Laker game which was good. I really REALLY wanted this RED VELVET cake as I walked into the Market. I actually really walked into the market going to get something to drink such as RUM because my friend was going to come with her son and we were going to SULK and have rum tonic drinks! Bad release, I KNOW!!! She had her son’s cavities that day filled and it cost her $600 for the day too, and she still has another 3 $600 visits left! We both in a week, spend $$ to mindless matters…so sulking seemed appropriate at the time.

I walked around the market, went to the deli section where they have these TINY cups for dressing for the salads BUT WHAT I USE THEM FOR IS SAMPLES!!! Yes, you heard right..LOL, I scoop some of the salads that I see there and walk around eating it, LOL,…THEN I saw TEMPTATION staring at me…by the RED VELVET CAKE!…I dunno what it is about that cake, but it can literally dominate my thoughts sometimes. This is what I tell myself about the RED VELVET CAKE in my mind when I fantasize about it….

“Hmmmm,…it’s SO good!...I love how the fluffiness of the red splashes on my tongue. Hmmmm..and how the frosting with the red combo smashes together with sweetness and bread to soak up the sweetness all over. DAMN!!! I love that white off colored frosting that sits on the perfectly round un- chipped red velvet top. Almost like a mountain of snow sitting, like fresh powder, untouched and puffy!..haha…(even I laugh by here) …and then I get EMBARRESSED for even thinking about RED VELVET CAKE so seductively and sexually!!! OMG!!! I even went into the cake aisle and wanted to get a lower fat version to make myself. …but NO I said….that shit is the SAME amount of calories. Ugh…might as well buy the SLICE that is sooooooo good!! (The cake is Oh so good to me, when I am bad to me!) ….all of this is enough to get me MENTALLY aroused by now mind you….(about the cake of course!) ;-) HAHA

But yes….LOL!! Moving on…..I ended up at the cash register with :

1 box of whole wheat saltine crackers (I wanted them for tuna at home)
3 little packs of ham prepackaged thin slices -90 cals each
1 box of weight watchers carrot cream cakes- 90 cals each (6 in the box)
4 Light Yogurt (80 cals each)
1 bag of Prepackaged baked natural white chedder popcorn (180 cals per serving -4 portions)
1 bottle of RUM

…DONE! No red velvet cake and made it out of there….

BUTTTTT when I got home….plans changed in my HEAD!

I was kind of tired, but still annoyed, so I turned on the LAKER game and watched it. I rarely ever Smoke a Doobie, but yesterday I was OVERLOADED and I rolled on up, and sat down and smoked one while I watched the game. I decided then, that after I was much more relaxed, that NO I don’t want to drink. I changed plans with my friend…and sat on my Stability Ball, and bounced my ass off!!!

Exercise:
100 bicep bounces while sitting
100 thigh bounces with arms straight out
100 scissor kicks with arms held on the side of the stability ball w/ 5lbs each and sitting on stability ball
100 cross punches w/ 5lbs while sitting back on stability ball –using abs too
100 side bend overs for each side –standing-no weight
100 seconds of bicep air arm extend resistance
@ work in the day before I got home I also did..

400 Squats=arm fly up and back-while I squat (100 x 4 times bathroom=400)
400 Arm Flies= Arms to the side-squeeze up and down (100 x 4 bathroom times= 400)

Then SNACK attack HIT(this is what I ate for the rest of the night):

1 bag of popcorn (in 2 servings)- 720 cals ( I hated myself for this-I knew I wanted to stop too—but ate the whole thing!!)
1 yogurt- 80 cals
1 prepackaged thin slice pastrami- 90 cals

6 squares of dark chocolate (200)
1 square of graham cracker (50 cals)
3 bites of regular chips (75)
1 weight watchers cake (90)

1 fiber Orowheat thin slice bread –(100 cals)
1 tbsp peanut butter (90)
1 tsp of jelly(10)
16 0z water.

………….so All in ALL….AGAIN I fucked myself over and went over….2,025 cals for the day. UGGGGGGH!!!!! The only thing that is consoling, is that the quality of the foods that I ate weren't as bad as natural shitty crap. LOL. At least it was baked popcorn, and it was dark chocolate, and the sandwich had fiber bread.

The worst part is I knew, eating that bag of baked popcorn , that at one point I didn’t want more, but I just did it thinking about all the things of the day. And decided to kill my positive efforts. And to top it off, I was COUNTING the calories as I ate them too. UGGGG…it’s almost like the sabotage and resistance was rebelling at counting and controlling myself. I have some exercises I’m going to do with myself later to release this. I have to shift my focus to the sabotage and get to what’s going on in there and listen to myself inside !!!

 

[Alta818]

Weighed myself this morning, and amidst all the sabotage,....I lost 1.6 pounds. eh! Fuck it. 164 lbs. Whatever. Not happy, but it's lower at least. My pants are TIGHTTTTTTT today. I just washed them. These are my measuring pants from Express and they are the size 6 ones. I feel a baby roll ontop too. I was fitting into the 4's , and last year at this time, I was in the 2's. (mind you only this manufacturer...they must smoke CRACK when they made the sizes, cause if I can fit...they were OUT OF THEIR MIND!)

Not letting it get me down!! I will work TODAY...because TODAY IS A BRAND NEW DAY TO GET IT RIGHT!!! ! I CAN DO THIS SHIT!!!

bkfst: 1 light yogurt (80 cals)
1/2 cup of Fiber One cereal in it (60 cals)
16 oz. of room temp. green tea

Snack: 6 whole wheat saltines (70)
1 bag of prepackaged thin slice ham (90)

--Bathroom Exercise Break---
100 arm circles -backwards
100 -squats- arms up and down while doing them

Lunch: 6 saltine whole wheat crackers (70 cals)
1 can of light water tuna (100 cals)
16 oz. of warm room temp green tea

----Bathroom Exercise Break---
100 arm circles -forward
100 -squats- arms up and down while doing them

Snack: 16.oz water
1 cup of cooked mushrooms -(tiny oil, basil, pepper,salt, worcester sauce)-(120 cals)

----Bathroom Exercise Break---
100 arm circles -forward
100 arm circles- backwards
100 -squats- arms up and down while doing them

Snack: 16.oz water

---Client---

Snack: 1/4 cup of mixed nuts, almonds, mMs (130)
24 oz. water

Dinner: 1 cup of brown rice mixed cooked with garlic and mushroom (230 cals)
1 pollock fish (prepackaged frozen) -dipped in egg white (10 cals- had egg white left over from 1 egg-made 2 pollocks) and breaded with ground flaxseeds (90 cals-2 tbsp)


-----1,050 cals so far!

---Stability Ball Exercise---

--100 ass Stability ball bounces
--60 stand up jumping side to side
--100 ass/leg stability ball bounces

Snack: 1 low sodium rice cake (30 cals)
1 tsp of peanut butter (80 cals)
1 tsp of sugar free jelly (10 cals)

----------------------------1,250-----------------------

The Dvd player (playstation broke on me) No power yoga today

---Stability Ball Exercise---

100 stability ball back ass kicks- back thighs and ass (on stomach)
200 arm lift resistance -bicep (behind back down to waist locked at thumbs)
100 side to side jumps
50 stability ball pushup stomach roll forward (arms, abs, legs)
100 side bend overs -standing-5lb weights
100 stability ball punches w/ 5lb weights sitting on ball

Snack: 2 squares of dark chocolate- (44 cals)
1/2 cup of Almond milk (30 cals)
8 oz. water

------1324 cals-----

 

[chubbygirl]

Haha those same munchies hit me ALL THE TIME!! As your eating your like why am I doing this and then get up to get more. I agree that it's a big difference over bingeing on good food as opposed to packaged crap filled with sugar! Overall I don't think it was that bad - my binges are more like 3000 calories and you burnt some too while on that ball! If your friend would have came over and you got into the Rum it would have been worse! I love that you want to make it right today though instead of picking up bagels or grease on your way to work! Today is a new day and I trust you will do great!! No more doobies late at night, lol!! Or lock the cupboards first!
The way you think about those velvet cakes is the way I think about butter tarts - it's a love hate relationship! Have a great night Alta!

 

[douknowjello]

“Hmmmm,…it’s SO good!...I love how the fluffiness of the red splashes on my tongue. Hmmmm..and how the frosting with the red combo smashes together with sweetness and bread to soak up the sweetness all over. DAMN!!! I love that white off colored frosting that sits on the perfectly round un- chipped red velvet top. Almost like a mountain of snow sitting, like fresh powder, untouched and puffy!..haha…(even I laugh by here) …and then I get EMBARRESSED for even thinking about RED VELVET CAKE so seductively and sexually!!! OMG!!! I even went into the cake aisle and wanted to get a lower fat version to make myself. …but NO I said….that shit is the SAME amount of calories. Ugh…might as well buy the SLICE that is sooooooo good!! (The cake is Oh so good to me, when I am bad to me!) ….all of this is enough to get me MENTALLY aroused by now mind you….(about the cake of course!) ;-) HAHA

Dang alta!! Good thing this is an adult forum, LMAO Although I must say....don't tell my husband but sometimes cake is better than sex ;/ lolz One of my weaknesses....cake with butter cream frosting OR....chocolate peanutbutter pie....ok gotta stop it now sorry

 

[Alta818]

Mental Clearing Exercise...

Dear Fat,

You are holding me back from being confident.
You are holding me back from proving to myself that I can be successful.
You are holding me back from attaining health.
You are holding me back from better sex.
You are holding me back from looking better in clothes.
You are holding me back from buying sexier clothes.
You are holding me back from being a good example to my family.
You are holding me back from believing that I can effectively help people.
You are holding me back from facing my problems.
You are holding me back from being care free.
You are holding my thoughts of other things other than weight loss back.
You are holding me back from better running skills.
You are holding me back from a Bikini.
You are holding me back from a swimsuit period.
You are holding me back from loving myself more.
You are holding me back from the things I deserve in life.
You are holding me back from total happiness in my life.
You are holding me back from sitting without rolls.
You are holding me back from being completely away from cancer for life.
You are holding me back from walking taller with more confidence.
You are holding me back from wearing a skirt.
You are holding me back from going to water parks.
You are holding me back from being a fit role model to my little brothers and sisters.
You are holding me back from the deserving love of others.
You are holding me back from living life as I should!
You are holding me back from making more friends.
You are holding me back from not being self conscious.
You are holding me back from promoting myself more with Hypnosis and weight loss.
You are holding me back from attracting more clients.
You are holding me back from mental focus.
You are holding me back from believing when people tell me I’m pretty.
You are holding me back from believing that my boyfriend loves me just the way I am.
You are holding me back from making my parents proud.
You are holding me back from quitting drinking because you make me sad.
You are holding me back giving more love to others.
You are holding me back from feeling competent.
You are holding me back from wanting to go to my 10 year reunion next year.
You are holding me back from eating the things I want without fear.
You are holding me back from energy.
You are holding me back from eating with control.
You are holding me back from being the best me possible.
You are holding me back from having prettier friends because I think they won’t want to be near me.
You are holding me back from releasing the envy I sometimes have when I see people acting and reaching their goals.
You are holding me back from not shining the beauty in me on the outside.
You are holding me back from not having to release unnecessary tears over this my entire life.
You are holding me back from allowing others to think I have control over my life.
You are holding me back from taking pictures.
You are holding me back from remembering my life, because I hate to see the fat overshadow every experience.
You are holding me back from jet skiing because of the swimwear and fat jiggling.
You are holding me back from reducing my heart rate disease level.
You are holding me back from knowing I can conquer ANYTHING!
You are holding me back from knowing I can finish anything I start.
You are holding me back from the BEST LIFE I CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!!!

Dear FAT….I am done with ALLOWING for you to do this to me anymore!!!
Dear FAT….FUCK YOU!!! I am taking control right now, by releasing all of this from within me,…and BREATHING in CONFIDENCE, CONTROL, LOVE, and DETERMINATION for myself to get everything you stole from me BACK for good!!

Sincerely,

{{{Alta}}}

…….I feel so much better, yet I kind of want to cry , because until you write
it all down, you don’t realize all the things that you can go on and on about that FAT holds us back from.

…I needed this.

 

[agntevilpoptart]

i can relate so much to that. it's held me back from my life. and because of my weight i'm not experiencing life like i should be. good luck hun, just keep at it. it's very achievable