MY FAITH is ENOUGH to FIGHT the SPARTAN ARMY!!!
I FIND myself POSITIVE, MOTIVATED again, and DETERMINED!!! For a second I was FEELING like I wasn't MEANT to be HEALTHY and FIT, and then I said NOOOOOOO.....these THOUGHTS are what's MAKING ME SICK
..new FOUND thoughts, and my FRIENDS by my side,....I'm back!! AGAIN!!!

....I know....I know....YOU say that a MILLION times...but IT's TRUE,
thats HOW my motivation FLUCTUATES in my MIND....like an ON/OFF switch...just like THAT...something gets me DOWN, and then
I'm OFF, and SOMETHING makes me happy again and
I'm ON!!.....Glad to be ON again!!!
...I have decided that MY WHOLE life, withing my FAMILY, withing my RELATIONSHIP, within FRIENDSHIPS,....I talk a LOT OF SHIT...

....and I MYSELF am WAITING

..to see ALL this talk TURN into RESULTS and ACTION...for LIFEEEEEE!!!!
...SO I am no LONGER telling my FAMILY, my FRIENDS..(other than ALANE83 & alllllll of YOU guys on here

) about HOW I am feeling about my body, about WHAT MY PLANS are, about HOW much I lost, OR how much I have gained....ALL OF THAT....about my INSECURITIES basically!!!
...BOTTOM line is...I think PEOPLE get tired of HEARING all talk and SEEING no action, or RESULTS for that matter, which NOW I REALIZE may be ONE of the REASONS also that I have
NOT YET made it to my GOAL....is because I HAVE cried WOLF for so LONG, no one, (other than you all

) believe THAT I will make IT!~!!
...isn't that a HORRIBLE thing, for PEOPLE to LOSE FAITH in YOU and YOUR plans...and I realized this when, YESTERDAY:
1) when MY MOM, told me, "OH did you put on the shirt I had gave you"?, who knows when, and I told her, "OH, that one, no.....because it is SLEEVELESS and I want to tone the arms FIRST".......
...and she TOLD me...."SHIT....you MIGHT wait YOUR WHOLE LIFE for that ONE".......!!!!!!!!!!

......GOSSSHhhhh!!! WELL

!!!!!
....so YEAH...at that POINT I realized, that I HAVE always talked a lot and DONE NOTHING...and PEOPLE have NO FAITH in me, which IS WHY I think I have ALSO kept myself FAT, because DEEP DOWN I think I DIDN'T want to CHANGE until THEY HAD "FAITH" in me..........and the FUNNY part.......
.....was that I REALIZED...."SHIT!!! IIIIIII might be WAITING my WHOLE life for these PEOPLE to have FAITH in ME!!!! FORGET THAT.....I HAVE FAITH IN ME!"....

........and thats ENOUGH!~!!!