Come on guys...its a support forum!!

[usedtobefatmatt]

I think its great anybody that has something about their weight that they want to change has somewhere to come and talk to people about it. Regardless of if its 1lb or 100lbs it is good that they are seeking out advice and information.

Perhaps if the rest of us did that when we only had 5 or 10lbs to lose then we wouldnt be struggling with having so much more to lose now. No sense in being bitter about it.

Very rarely post on here anymore but sometimes stop by to read and get focused. This post made me want to start posting again. I AGREE with this post (well said ForReal) and cant stress this enough. The amount of weight that someone has to lose has NOTHING to with the struggles they face.

A person that has 5 lbs to lose faces the same struggles as a person that has 50 or 100lbs to lose.

I think a lot of the "clashing" personalities caused this board to lose a lot of good/smart/helpful people. With that said, this board is a great place to read, learn and get motivated.

 

[Stacy]

The amount of weight that someone has to lose has NOTHING to with the struggles they face.

A person that has 5 lbs to lose faces the same struggles as a person that has 50 or 100lbs to lose.

No offense, but ...Are you serious? You think someone that has 5 lbs to lose "faces the same struggles" as someone who has 100 lbs to lose? I have to disagree, hon. I have lost 33 lbs and still have 212 pounds to lose, and you're saying I have the same struggles as someone with 5 lbs to lose? I think not. I'm not after a pity party and I'm definitely not trying to start an argument. I just want to point out that everything is harder when you are my size, and weight loss has to be approached differently because the same recommendations shouldn't be made for someone 200+ lbs over weight than for someone with 5 lbs to lose. Saying that a person with five pounds to lose has the exact same struggles as a 400 lb person is, in my opinion, really inaccurate. But I don't want to get into an argument as it's, once again, off topic.

I realize your heart is in the right place and you're right, this place is a great place to get weight loss help and to help keep you motivated. Without this site I know my weight loss would be much more of a struggle than it already is. Anyway, I know you probably didn't mean what you said in the way it sounded.

 

[ecky1]

I agree with Stacy that somebody that has a LOT of weight to lose can not be compared with somebody that wants to lose a few pounds. People with a lot of weight to lose are often in a potentially life threatening situation and definitely in a completely potential life changing situation which in no way compares with somebody that wants to lose a couple of pounds to make their abs look better.
As Jjjay said earlier it is difficult for somebody with a lot of weight to relate to somebody that only wants to use a couple of pounds.
That's not to say that these people shouldn't post here of get help just that not everybody is the right person to help them and that a lot of people would rather concentrate on people with bigger problems.

 

[usedtobefatmatt]

No offense, but ...Are you serious? You think someone that has 5 lbs to lose "faces the same struggles" as someone who has 100 lbs to lose? I have to disagree, hon. I have lost 33 lbs and still have 212 pounds to lose, and you're saying I have the same struggles as someone with 5 lbs to lose? I think not. I'm not after a pity party and I'm definitely not trying to start an argument. I just want to point out that everything is harder when you are my size, and weight loss has to be approached differently because the same recommendations shouldn't be made for someone 200+ lbs over weight than for someone with 5 lbs to lose. Saying that a person with five pounds to lose has the exact same struggles as a 400 lb person is, in my opinion, really inaccurate. But I don't want to get into an argument as it's, once again, off topic.

I realize your heart is in the right place and you're right, this place is a great place to get weight loss help and to help keep you motivated. Without this site I know my weight loss would be much more of a struggle than it already is. Anyway, I know you probably didn't mean what you said in the way it sounded.

Stacy,
First off, I dont want to start an argument either. There is too much off that going on and that is the last thing I want to get involved in. I was being serious when I said that.

After thinking about your post, I guess I could have pointed out that yes, a person that has 100 lbs to lose does faces different physical challenges but they do face the same mental challenges as someone that has to lose 5 lbs.

Something I have learned that weightloss (at least with me) is mostly mental. Most of us know HOW to lose weight it's just making sure we follow through and change our mindset.

Sure everybody is different and has different opinions and that is just mine.

PS. I wish you the best of luck on your weightloss journey.

 

[ChefChiTown]

After thinking about your post, I guess I could have pointed out that yes, a person that has 100 lbs to lose does faces different physical challenges but they do face the same mental challenges as someone that has to lose 5 lbs.

No. No they don't.

If a person is 100 lbs overweight, they not only have the mental/emotional strain of having to deal with societal issues (such as low self-esteem, lack of confidence, body image, the "embarrassment" of having to shop in big and tall shops, name calling, unfair treatment by others, etc), but they also have to endure the mental/emotional turmoil of all of the health-related complications they face and everything that is attached to them (the fear of dying of a heart attack in front of their children, lifestyle changes due to certain illnesses/diseases like diabetes and extra stress on the heart, etc).

Those are all things that people who are only 5 lbs overweight will probably never, ever, ever have to deal with mentally/emotionally.

Like Stacy said, your heart is in the right place (and so is everybody else's heart who has the same outlook on things as you do), but, you have to look at it realistically. The "We Are The World" isn't realistic. Not everybody is in the same boat and not everybody is on an equal playing field. We're all different and we all have different battles to face. A person who is 5 lbs overweight will NEVER know what it's like to be in my shoes and I will NEVER know what it's like to only be 5 lbs overweight...unless we both gain/lose enough weight to literally fill the other person's shoes. But, until that moment happens, we would never understand each other, because our situations are night and day - they are so different that trying to compare them in a serious manner is almost humorous...because it just can't be done.

That's my two cents.

 

[Korrie]

I can tell you from my own experiance, that back when I was only 20lbs overweight...I had NO IDEA the mental hell I would go through now that i have 80lbs to lose. I really wish I knew then....

I understand that for people needing to lose 5lbs...it takes the same effort for someone 200lbs to lose 5lbs than it takes for someone 120lbs to lose 5lbs....you both have to take that same 1st step....but that doesn't mean that their mental journey is the same by any stretch of the imagination.

When I was 20lbs ovweight...I still could go swimming with my girls..now I can't bring myself to even consider it.

 

[usedtobefatmatt]

No. No they don't.

If a person is 100 lbs overweight, they not only have the mental/emotional strain of having to deal with societal issues (such as low self-esteem, lack of confidence, body image, the "embarrassment" of having to shop in big and tall shops, name calling, unfair treatment by others, etc), but they also have to endure the mental/emotional turmoil of all of the health-related complications they face and everything that is attached to them (the fear of dying of a heart attack in front of their children, lifestyle changes due to certain illnesses/diseases like diabetes and extra stress on the heart, etc).

Those are all things that people who are only 5 lbs overweight will probably never, ever, ever have to deal with mentally/emotionally.

Like Stacy said, your heart is in the right place (and so is everybody else's heart who has the same outlook on things as you do), but, you have to look at it realistically. The "We Are The World" isn't realistic. Not everybody is in the same boat and not everybody is on an equal playing field. We're all different and we all have different battles to face. A person who is 5 lbs overweight will NEVER know what it's like to be in my shoes and I will NEVER know what it's like to only be 5 lbs overweight...unless we both gain/lose enough weight to literally fill the other person's shoes. But, until that moment happens, we would never understand each other, because our situations are night and day - they are so different that trying to compare them in a serious manner is almost humorous...because it just can't be done.

That's my two cents.

Unfortunatly, people that are 5 lbs overweight do face low self esteem issues, body image issues, name calling etc.... That is why these people develop eating disorders and such.

You're right that everyone is not is the same boat so how can you assume that someone that is 5 lbs overweight is not going through some of the same issues as you?

One thing I can say for sure is losing weight, whether it's 5 lbs, 10lbs 150lbs or 250lbs, doesnt create happiness or cure all life's problems. You still face the same issues when you lose the weight. Trust me on this. If you think
all will be good if you get to goal you are wrong.

It's not the amount of weight one has to lose it's the mental issues you need to overcome to lose that weight. Sure it may take a person that has 5 lbs to lose a lot less time. That doesnt mean it wasnt any easier. The journey of learning to overcome the issues that caused you to gain the weight. Yes, no one knows what it is like to walk in someone else's shoes but we are all here because we want to lose weight, be healthier, live longer....so we all have SOMETHING in common.

The hardest pound to lose is the next one.

 

[usedtobefatmatt]

I can tell you from my own experiance, that back when I was only 20lbs overweight...I had NO IDEA the mental hell I would go through now that i have 80lbs to lose. I really wish I knew then....

I understand that for people needing to lose 5lbs...it takes the same effort for someone 200lbs to lose 5lbs than it takes for someone 120lbs to lose 5lbs....you both have to take that same 1st step....but that doesn't mean that their mental journey is the same by any stretch of the imagination.

When I was 20lbs ovweight...I still could go swimming with my girls..now I can't bring myself to even consider it.

You cant bring yourself to consider it because you physically cant do it or because you are too embarassed to do it?

To me the mental journey is very similar. It doesnt matter the amount you have to lose. Both have to learn the same info. Calories in vs calories out= Weight loss. Then it's all about the balance of keeping that weight off. Yes, their journey is different but still extremely hard to that person.

Yes, know one's journey is not the same but we all struggle with something that is weight loss related.

Maybe I am living in fantasy land but I dont think I am.

 

[ChefChiTown]

Unfortunatly, people that are 5 lbs overweight do face low self esteem issues, body image issues, name calling etc.... That is why these people develop eating disorders and such.

Do you honestly think that these two people are going through the same emotional struggles?




FYI - I'm just using the pictures for illustrative purposes only.

You're right that everyone is not is the same boat so how can you assume that someone that is 5 lbs overweight is not going through some of the same issues as you?

Once again, can you honestly say that the two people in the example above have any idea what the other one is going through? Let's stop splitting hairs and comparing each and every minute similarities - let's be realistic - the people who only have 5 lbs to lose have nooooo idea what struggling with a weight problem is really about (unless they have already lost a ton of weight to get to that point).

Look at it this way - if you didn't eat for 12 hours, you'd be pretty hungry, right? But, do you think that you would have any validity if you were to compare your hunger to that of a starving African child who gets to eat the equivalent of only one of your meals per week? Yes, you could split hairs and compare the fact that both of you are hungry, but, in all reality...that's where the comparison ends. As in the case with a person who needs to lose 5 lbs as opposed to a person who needs to lose 100 lbs...the situations are completely incomparable.

It's not the amount of weight one has to lose it's the mental issues you need to overcome to lose that weight. Sure it may take a person that has 5 lbs to lose a lot less time. That doesnt mean it wasnt any easier.

I sort of agree with you, but, I also sort of disagree with you too.

The amount of work needed to lose weight in both cases is the same - it takes the same amount of effort (in a caloric sense) to lose 1 lb of fat, regardless of your weight. So, in that sense, it's not easier for either person.

But, if you have two people - one that needs to lose 5 lbs and one that needs to lose 100 lbs - once the person who needs to lose 5 lbs loses their 5 lbs, they're done. But, once the person who needs to lose 100 lbs loses 5 lbs, they still have 95 MORE lbs to work off. So, in that sense...it's easier for the person who only has to lose 5 lbs.

 

[Korrie]

Look at it this way - if you didn't eat for 12 hours, you'd be pretty hungry, right? But, do you think that you would have any validity if you were to compare your hunger to that of a starving African child who gets to eat the equivalent of only one of your meals per week? Yes, you could split hairs and compare the fact that both of you are hungry, but, in all reality...that's where the comparison ends. As in the case with a person who needs to lose 5 lbs as opposed to a person who needs to lose 100 lbs...the situations are completely incomparable.

I like that analogy chef. I would think to compare a starving child to a person having missed one meal is the same thing to compare 5lbs to 100. well said

 

[usedtobefatmatt]

I guess it's all a matter of perspective and opinion. I have been on both sides and still stand behind my opinion.

 

[Korrie]

....i've given some thought to the road this topic has taken. The main point of this thread wasn't to say "who has it worse" The main point of this thread was to say that people that come on here deserve more support than they have been getting.

we need to stay focused (including myself) on the very point of this forum...and thats to support each other. The forum seems to have turned into a big bicker fest and everyone wants to argue their point. Well, it seems we forget the the main point is that we support each other.....even if the other person feels they have it worse off....even if 5 or 10 lbs is nothing compaired to someone else....we all come here for support and I'd like us all to start working towards that goal more.

 

[chubbygirl]

once the person who needs to lose 5 lbs loses their 5 lbs, they're done. But, once the person who needs to lose 100 lbs loses 5 lbs, they still have 95 MORE lbs to work off. So, in that sense...it's easier for the person who only has to lose 5 lbs.

I'd have to disagree that the first person who only had 5 pounds to lose is done. If they struggle with their weight they will never be done.
My two cents from my own experience - I was 224 pounds and struggled with my weight. I am now 147 ish and still struggle with my weight. In January I let go of my healthy lifestyle and gained back 19 pounds in 9 weeks. When I weighed 224 pounds I struggled and I still struggle today. When I reach my goal weight I will still be struggling. I have lots of mental stuff to get through that I haven't yet and still come on this site everyday for support. Maybe now I only have 7-13 pounds to go but it's just as hard as when I had 75 pounds to go and the thoughts in my head haven't changed much.
Someone who only has five pounds to loose might have already lost 200 pounds and you shouldn't disregard their post because you can't relate - one day you might.

 

[Korrie]

True....we shouldn't be disregarding anyones post...that was my point with this thread!

 

[Kayshiz]

I wish people took the time to actually read all the replies in a post before just skimming and throwing their two cents in (and thank you to the members who actually take the time to do this).

If you take the time to read someones message instead of just assuming what they are talking about or their intent (and taking them out of context) there would be a lot less inane replies (this post included).

It is ridiculous the amount of times I have to hold back and NOT post because it would just be to point out they have taken the OP or a reply completely out of context. People think I'm argumentative enough as it is, but it is frustrating seeing the amount of disagreements that stem for this confusion.

 

[ChefChiTown]

I'd have to disagree that the first person who only had 5 pounds to lose is done. If they struggle with their weight they will never be done.
My two cents from my own experience - I was 224 pounds and struggled with my weight. I am now 147 ish and still struggle with my weight. In January I let go of my healthy lifestyle and gained back 19 pounds in 9 weeks. When I weighed 224 pounds I struggled and I still struggle today. When I reach my goal weight I will still be struggling. I have lots of mental stuff to get through that I haven't yet and still come on this site everyday for support. Maybe now I only have 7-13 pounds to go but it's just as hard as when I had 75 pounds to go and the thoughts in my head haven't changed much.
Someone who only has five pounds to loose might have already lost 200 pounds and you shouldn't disregard their post because you can't relate - one day you might.

...this is why I said:

Once again, can you honestly say that the two people in the example above have any idea what the other one is going through? Let's stop splitting hairs and comparing each and every minute similarities - let's be realistic - the people who only have 5 lbs to lose have nooooo idea what struggling with a weight problem is really about (unless they have already lost a ton of weight to get to that point).

....i've given some thought to the road this topic has taken. The main point of this thread wasn't to say "who has it worse" The main point of this thread was to say that people that come on here deserve more support than they have been getting.

we need to stay focused (including myself) on the very point of this forum...and thats to support each other. The forum seems to have turned into a big bicker fest and everyone wants to argue their point. Well, it seems we forget the the main point is that we support each other.....even if the other person feels they have it worse off....even if 5 or 10 lbs is nothing compaired to someone else....we all come here for support and I'd like us all to start working towards that goal more.

I agree, but you have to remember...

Sometimes getting true support comes in the form of hearing the truth. If someone doesn't have a weight problem (for example - a 5' 2" female that weighs 100 lbs, but acts as if they are fat), it would be supportive of their well being to tell them that they don't have a problem at all. It would be the complete opposite of supportive if people would encourage that girl to lose weight and give her advice which would support her cause - to lose unnecessary weight for no good reason at all. In that example, it would be doing nothing more than adding fuel to a dangerous fire if people would assist that person in losing weight.

Also, I wanted to address something that I'm sure a lot of people see on this forum, but don't really understand. And, since I'm definitely not afraid to speak my mind, I figured I would address this at this point in time, just to open a few eyes...

I'm sure a lot of people use this forum just as I do...as a form of therapy - a tool to vent. I am well aware that I am blunt and I will never deny that I can seem very abrasive and downright dickish at times. But, maybe venting here on this forum is something that helps me - something that I need - something that supports my own self in my own weight loss journey. Most of us have journals on this forum and most of us vent in our journals, in one way or another. So, I'm willing to bet that quite a lot of people use this forum, not only as a way to obtain support, advice and information, but also to vent and "let things out", so to speak.

So, to all of the people on this forum who want to act as if they are TRULY supportive of everybody who has a weight loss journey to make, regardless of who they are, how much they weigh or what their problems may be...don't forget that some people raise their voice and speak their mind on this forum because it allows them release bottled up stress, anger, confusion, fear and frustration, which ultimately helps them in their weight loss journey. And, if it's helping them lose weight - which is the ultimate goal of this forum - then we should all be supportive of that person...even if we think they're a dick.

We all have different personalities. I think it's about time that we accept that fact and move on with our lives.

Besides...if we all had the same personality (thought the same way, talked the same way, believed in the same things, held the same moral values, etc), the world would be a pretty f*cking boring place. So, let's enjoy our differences and have fun, huh?

 

[rwc]

I will always help even if their is a personality clash or a disagreement because I help people not give them bad advise. I give advice from things that work on me and what my nutritionist says plus my personal doctor told me this is good advice. Post what you believe is only human so lets help each other.

 

[Korrie]

this is a really old thread, i think i'm gonna close it....