Come on guys...its a support forum!!
- Thread starter Korrie
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jjjay
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I think Korrie has a point!! (I mean the very first post!) I will make more of an effort to post on threads more - even if they are people who never come back!
Life is busy though - I try and sit down and work through replyign to all the people I know on here and after that, its difficult to do any more than flick through new posts.
The other thing that stops me sometimes (and got to be honest here) is that some of them are like "I weigh 135lbs and want to lost 10lbs for summer break" - which is perfectly valid and fine, but I just feel very disconnected from that in terms of my personal journey and what I can relate to. I just look at anyone under 150lbs and think wow you're kind of there...maybe not where you ultimately want to be but compared to me, or the guys in the 200s or 300s...you are doing ok. However, self-reflexively, I guess someone 50 or 100lbs heavier might look at me and think that (although at 186lbs, I don't think anyone is thinking I'm "there" LOL)
Life is busy though - I try and sit down and work through replyign to all the people I know on here and after that, its difficult to do any more than flick through new posts.
The other thing that stops me sometimes (and got to be honest here) is that some of them are like "I weigh 135lbs and want to lost 10lbs for summer break" - which is perfectly valid and fine, but I just feel very disconnected from that in terms of my personal journey and what I can relate to. I just look at anyone under 150lbs and think wow you're kind of there...maybe not where you ultimately want to be but compared to me, or the guys in the 200s or 300s...you are doing ok. However, self-reflexively, I guess someone 50 or 100lbs heavier might look at me and think that (although at 186lbs, I don't think anyone is thinking I'm "there" LOL)
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While you bring up some valid points, jjjay, coming from a person that people would assume as "okay," I find it harder maintaining/re-comping then I ever did losing the weight in the first place. I'll go on to say that losing the weight was the easy part... maintaining and controlling everything is the real challenge.
How many people do you see lose 150 lbs and then end up gaining 75% of it back? I can say with complete confidence that most people who lose weight gain a majority of it back at some point in their lives.
There's also perceived body-image. While you may think they look great, they probably don't feel like they look great. There's also the skinny-fat stage that most people face due to not getting proper protein and lifting weights on a daily basis. Losing weight is great... but you're never going to be happy with the end result if you just diet and do cardio. Personal experience there.
How many people do you see lose 150 lbs and then end up gaining 75% of it back? I can say with complete confidence that most people who lose weight gain a majority of it back at some point in their lives.
There's also perceived body-image. While you may think they look great, they probably don't feel like they look great. There's also the skinny-fat stage that most people face due to not getting proper protein and lifting weights on a daily basis. Losing weight is great... but you're never going to be happy with the end result if you just diet and do cardio. Personal experience there.
ChefChiTown
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I feel that way too. I'm 5' 7" (5' 8" on a good day) and I weigh right around 240 lbs at the moment...and it's almost insulting in a way when somebody comes onto this forum and is like "I'm a 5' 9" female and I weigh 120 lbs. OMG, I know, RIGHT? I'm such a MOO MOO!!! I need to lose like 15 pounds so I can look good in a bikini. GAWD, I'm so gross...L8R G8RZ!!!"
Personally, I just look at those posts and shake my head in disgust. Only if those people knew what being fat was REALLY like.
Stacy
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ROFL!!!
Oh my, I can't say I've come across a post like that on this forum - I guess I'm just lucky. If I ever do see one I know I'll probably facepalm and then immediately commence fighting the urge to tell them to go take a flying leap. I did however see a girl post on here that said she was like 110 lbs and wanted to lose weight, I wanted to smack her until I asked her about her stats and it turned out she was like 4'5" or something. lolForRealThisTime
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I think its great anybody that has something about their weight that they want to change has somewhere to come and talk to people about it. Regardless of if its 1lb or 100lbs it is good that they are seeking out advice and information.
Perhaps if the rest of us did that when we only had 5 or 10lbs to lose then we wouldnt be struggling with having so much more to lose now. No sense in being bitter about it.
Perhaps if the rest of us did that when we only had 5 or 10lbs to lose then we wouldnt be struggling with having so much more to lose now. No sense in being bitter about it.
ChefChiTown
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So, if a 5' 3", 97 lb 14 year old girl comes onto this forum and says that she wants to lose 2 lbs, because "anybody over 95 lbs is a fatty"...we should be OK with that? And take her seriously? And support her? And consider her in the same boat as we are?
Ridiculous.
It's all based on total body fat. You can be 5'3 and 115 pounds and still be "fat." If someone was 5'3, 97 lbs and worrying about losing weight I would consider them a troll.
Seems your first mistake is that you're being bitter/judgmental. I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to control/maintain/fix problems before they arise. I wish I attacked my weight problems at the time it was happening then waiting years later and having to dedicate my life towards weight loss when I could be enjoying every minute of it.
People have different goals. Yours is to lose weight, the 5'9, 120lb person may be entering modeling, or doing something fitness related. We don't really know what their true intentions are. If they don't come across as doing something an anorexic person would do then I have no problem supporting them.
I see why this post was made in the first place now.
Seems your first mistake is that you're being bitter/judgmental. I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to control/maintain/fix problems before they arise. I wish I attacked my weight problems at the time it was happening then waiting years later and having to dedicate my life towards weight loss when I could be enjoying every minute of it.
People have different goals. Yours is to lose weight, the 5'9, 120lb person may be entering modeling, or doing something fitness related. We don't really know what their true intentions are. If they don't come across as doing something an anorexic person would do then I have no problem supporting them.
I see why this post was made in the first place now.
jjjay
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NedoCTB, I'm not disagreeing with you at all mate, I was trying I suppose to explain why I felt it easier to post supportively on some peoples threads and felt a bit...disconnected from others - so stood back a bit. Not that their journey to lose weight is any less valid or that they don't deserve support at all, just that they are in a place that I find more difficult to relate to and offer help on how to achieve what their goals - more that I couldn't think of much to say or comment on apart from "good luck" or "hope you get there". 
That's perfectly fine if you don't feel connected to them. Nothing wrong with that at all. We all connect to certain people over others, that's just how it is. I feel more connected to people that incorporate heavy weight training, moderate cardio and ample amounts of protein to maintain muscle mass and not just focus on just their weight loss. I look at everything as a life-style and not a diet. I completely understand where you're coming from.
I'm still going to support whomever is trying to lose weight, regardless of starting point. Like i said previously, if I caught myself at 180 pounds instead of 260 I would be a happy camper right now.
Just validating people by leaving a simple comment and to acknowledge you read it is sometimes enough, y'know? Sometimes just saying "good job," or "good luck" is great validation. That's all I do really... unless there needs to be some really extreme detail, in that case I assess what is going on and see if I even need to add any input.
I'm still going to support whomever is trying to lose weight, regardless of starting point. Like i said previously, if I caught myself at 180 pounds instead of 260 I would be a happy camper right now.
Just validating people by leaving a simple comment and to acknowledge you read it is sometimes enough, y'know? Sometimes just saying "good job," or "good luck" is great validation. That's all I do really... unless there needs to be some really extreme detail, in that case I assess what is going on and see if I even need to add any input.
ChefChiTown
New member
If you're 5' 3", weigh 115 lbs and you're "fat"...then losing weight isn't going to do a thing to help you lose that "fat". You need to turn that "fat" into muscle by exercising and toning up. If you weigh 115 lbs, losing weight shouldn't even be an option. I've never met one person in my entire life that has weighed about 100 lbs who I would consider fat or unhealthy. Nor would I support any of them if they wanted to lose weight.
At that point, it's not about health...it's about vanity. So, if someone with those dimensions (for example) comes onto this forum and cries about how "fat" they are...I don't see how anybody with an ACTUAL weight problem could feel any sort of connection or sympathy for them.
Personally, I find it insulting in a way when people do that. "Hey all!!! I'm a 5' 4", 106 lb female that's a Junior in high school and I NEEEEED to lose some weight before prom. I look so fat and gross in my dress. EWW, I'm such a PIGGY!!! Can anybody tell me how I can lose weight so I don't look like a tied up sausage in my prom dress? THNX!!!" - you know that 99.9999999999% of people on this forum read posts like that and immediately have the mental/emotional response of "Who in the F*CK does this person think they are?" THOSE are the people I'm talking about - the people who don't have a weight/health problem, rather, they have a vanity problem.
ChefChiTown
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Personally, I'm hoping that I'll get some sex out of this. You think I got a shot? No? Oh well...can't blame a guy for trying.
I see this all the time in my work place. I'm an average weight person, I see the skinny people mocking the fat people and the fat people mocking the skinny people, it is really some sort of cruel joke. Both spectrum's offer different health complications, whether you want to believe that or not.
I fully agree with you about the teen girls complaining about their weight. At their age they should be eating a lot of food to allow their bodies to grow and mature.
For an adult it is a completely different story. You can still be a high body fat % if you're 5'3 and 115 pounds. They may look skinny and healthy but a lot of women that weight aren't really "healthy" the healthy ones are usually around 125 lbs and have adequate muscle mass + lift weights. Yes that 10 pounds makes a HUGE difference.
There is no way to turn fat into muscle, and "toning" is a myth. You tone up by reducing body fat.
Many people have eating disorders, self-esteem issues and various under-lying causes that make them feel the way they do about their weight, regardless if you perceive them healthy or not. I'm just going to stick with my first statement and say that you're just extremely bitter.
I'm just going to chop this down to; if you don't think the a person needs support, don't support them. It's as simple as not looking at their post if you don't agree with it. Focus and love yourself, don't hate on other peoples life-styles. The other option is to re-direct them to healthier options - which I prefer to do.
I fully agree with you about the teen girls complaining about their weight. At their age they should be eating a lot of food to allow their bodies to grow and mature.
For an adult it is a completely different story. You can still be a high body fat % if you're 5'3 and 115 pounds. They may look skinny and healthy but a lot of women that weight aren't really "healthy" the healthy ones are usually around 125 lbs and have adequate muscle mass + lift weights. Yes that 10 pounds makes a HUGE difference.
There is no way to turn fat into muscle, and "toning" is a myth. You tone up by reducing body fat.
Many people have eating disorders, self-esteem issues and various under-lying causes that make them feel the way they do about their weight, regardless if you perceive them healthy or not. I'm just going to stick with my first statement and say that you're just extremely bitter.
I'm just going to chop this down to; if you don't think the a person needs support, don't support them. It's as simple as not looking at their post if you don't agree with it. Focus and love yourself, don't hate on other peoples life-styles. The other option is to re-direct them to healthier options - which I prefer to do.
ChefChiTown
New member
Who is hating on anybody's lifestyle? All I'm saying is that it's impossible for me to find any sort of connection or sympathy for people who cry about their weight due to vanity-related reasons. And, I'm willing to bet that the large majority of people on this forum feel the same way I do.
MAR1984
New member
Come on Chi, we know the only reason YOU'RE losing weight is so your weiner looks bigger. If that ain't a vanity related reason, what is?
Stacy
New member
Come on Chi, we know the only reason YOU'RE losing weight is so your weiner looks bigger. If that ain't a vanity related reason, what is?
ROFL
OMG I can't stop laughing... must... catch ...breath! Come on Chi, we know the only reason YOU'RE losing weight is so your weiner looks bigger. If that ain't a vanity related reason, what is?
Is that not the reason all guys lose weight?
ChefChiTown
New member
Come on Chi, we know the only reason YOU'RE losing weight is so your weiner looks bigger. If that ain't a vanity related reason, what is?
Dude, I told you that in confidence. SIGH, that's the last time I take my shirt off and drink wine coolers with you while we talk about our feelings. And to think...I trusted you!!! :sniffle:
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