cherry garcia's diary

We're here for you, kiddo.

I'm sorry that you have had a rough time. It is easy to get derailed when you are sick.

Don't be ashamed, don't beat yourself up. We're not here to judge you - we're here to support you. Move on. The future is what matters now, and you are going to get right back on track. Remember - every day is a new day.
Tossing the crap food and back to the gym is the thing to do - good job. I'm sure you'll get back into the swing of things in no time.
 
Hey Cherry,

I'm so sorry you're going through this too. I've been struggling with the same crap. You're not alone on this, and don't feel like you are. I hope today was better for you in the sense that you were able to bin the bad food and try to get back on track. It sure is tough though isnt it? So tough that I think I've realized that I can't do it alone. Hang in there, Cherry. I'll be thinking about you and hoping to read you real soon.
 
@cord: thanks so much for always checking in on me, it means alot it really does

@ymca: hey hun, so sorry to hear your going through the same thing...i don't know why it has to be so hard!


okay, i seem to be finding myself again, thank goodness because if i kept on binging as i was i would have been back to square one in no time. why it happens i don't know, i was making such great progress but it's like the past 3 weeks i was in a zombie like state where all i wanted to eat was crap, i mean seriously today i opened my bank statement and looking at the transactions i almost had a heart attack! the amount i've spent on food is criminal, and everyday i just kept going back to get more food. i feel so foolish and so ashamed it's like i'm waking up from a really bad dream wondering what the f*ck just happened? but i think i'm finding my footing once again.

last week even though i was eating crap i somehow managed to go to the gym 4 times but just for the combat class which is only 45min, and thereafter i'd go buy more crappy foods and hence still continued piling on the pounds *sigh*

so today i got my a$$ to the gym and gave 100% i did my 45min combat class and thereafter 65min on the elliptical...that 65mins felt like FOREVER but i felt on top of the world when i was through. at the end of it all my body was aching and sore and still is. that is what tells me i gave my all and that is what tells me that i'm back in the game. the real test came later when i went to the store, and i made good food choices, i didn't buy anything unhealthy woohoo!

it hit me today when i was at the store that since i'd given my 100% at the gym then the desire to buy unhealthy foods was greatly reduced to almost zero because i didn't want to ruin my hard work. i now know that had i only done a short workout then i'd have ended up buying a whole lot of junk food as i've been doing. the difference is that 100% at the gym results in aches and pains and soreness the rest of the day that is a constant reminder that i've been to the gym and so shouldn't f*ck things up. i've broken the cycle so that's good, today is my first day of proper nutrition and proper exercise in 4 f*cking weeks!

no more sabotage, the countdown to a smaller happier me continues.
 
okay today was another good day whew! i worked out like a beast and to reward myself for the hardwork made sure i ate right all day.

at the gym did 45min aerobics class followed by 65min on the elliptical, today for the first time ever i managed to burn 500cals on the elliptical. even in the past months at my fittest the highest i got to was 470...i was so proud of myself. i dug deep today that's for sure. i think it might have had something to do with the people who kept hopping on and off the other elliptical machines to my left and right, it's so funny how it sort of becomes a mini-competition and you feel like you want to do everything within your power to win your components...lol! in the past i let it get to me but not anymore, now i use it to motivate me to keep on going.

my aim is to one day (many months from now) to be able to get to the 1000 calorie mark when doing 65mins on the elliptical...i didn't even know that was possible untill i read ymcachick's and kureransu's diaries who i voted queen and king of the elliptical...lol!

i've been embarassed to put down the damage i've done the past 4 weeks, i'd reached an all time low of 313pounds and now i'm back upto 324pounds, a whole 11 f*cking pounds i have to loose AGAIN! but what's done is done and is all in the past, i'm looking to the future now, this week is the beginning of good things to come.

============================
START WEIGHT: 350.8pounds
CURRENT WEIGHT: 324.1pounds
============================
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 28.9pounds
============================
Monday 2/08/09: 324.3pounds (45min combat, 65min elliptical)
Tuesday 3/08/09: 324.1pounds (45min aerobics, 65min elliptical)
Wednesday 4/08/09: 321.9pounds (45min combat, 55min elliptical, 45min weights)

ps: have just read about the story of the pennsylvania gym shooting, scary stuff! i guess you can never really know what's going through people's heads at any given time.
 
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I have to say that I have enjoyed reading your diary.. naturally - I could not read all 35 pages LOL.. but I did read quite a few.

From what I can tell you have an amazing routine going... The fact that you work out for that long is absolutely mindboggling to me. For two reasons...1... I know I'd never have the energy and 2... I know i'd never have the time! My goal right now is 20 minutes of physical activity a day.... start small right?

Anyway i am so proud of you for coming back.. admitting the wrongs and moving forward... that - to me - is an inspiration. My problem every time I've lost weight is that I'd have a few bad days and it spiraled into bad weeks and next thing I know all the weight is back on.

Your diary makes me feel like I can be completely honest and get the support I need to keep going.

thank you so much.
 
hey changes,
thanks for passing by...and thanks for the kind words. i think your off to a great start and 20mins a day is really good too, i remember when i started eating right it took me a whole month before i started any physical activity so your doing just fine :)

i know what you mean about being honest, i like the forum as i use it as my emotional outlet...i realized that holding things in was holding me back, so the more i write the better i feel. as for coming back from my binge-fest well that one was a tough one, this time round i thought i was out of the game for good, i kept trying to get back up and kept falling again, so i thank God i found it somewhere inside of me to get back up on my feet.

k, till next time xoxo
changes said:
I have to say that I have enjoyed reading your diary.. naturally - I could not read all 35 pages LOL.. but I did read quite a few.

From what I can tell you have an amazing routine going... The fact that you work out for that long is absolutely mindboggling to me. For two reasons...1... I know I'd never have the energy and 2... I know i'd never have the time! My goal right now is 20 minutes of physical activity a day.... start small right?

Anyway i am so proud of you for coming back.. admitting the wrongs and moving forward... that - to me - is an inspiration. My problem every time I've lost weight is that I'd have a few bad days and it spiraled into bad weeks and next thing I know all the weight is back on.

Your diary makes me feel like I can be completely honest and get the support I need to keep going.

thank you so much.
Click to expand...
 
Hello my friend :) A huge congrats for losing 16 kgs and sticking to your fitness regime.I am pretty impressed and inspired the way you manage to do your exercise with so much dedication and regularity.Hat's off to you girl :hurray:Keep in touch and great going :)
 
@endurance: thanks for stopping by and for the kind words, the support is much appreciated :)


okay this week has been a good week so far, i've kicked a$$ at the gym and eaten healthy....it's the first i've done so since my recent 3 week binge. i'm assuming most of the weight i may have put back on may have been water weight as so far this week i've lost 5.5pounds yippeee! either way it's been good to see the scale go down, i need to keep pounding on and hopefully loose the rest of the weight i added by next week.

my main test right now is to stay on course with my healthy eating, despite the good progress i'm finding random thoughts of food keep popping into my head all day, i just need to find it somewhere inside of me to fight the urge and if at all i do give in to make it a moderate sized treat and not mindless eating...this will be my real test for the months to come.

foodwise for now all i can say is that i'm eating healthy and eating right, moderate sized portions of meals. i don't want to get into calorie counting just yet, last time i did i OBSESSED over it and it took me backwards not forwards, i really admire the people who are able to calorie count day in and day out without obsessing over it. for now i'll give it about a month before i try it out again.


============================
START WEIGHT: 350.8pounds
CURRENT WEIGHT: 318.8pounds
============================
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 32pounds
============================
Monday 2/08/09: 324.3pounds (45min combat, 65min elliptical)
Tuesday 3/08/09: 324.1pounds (45min aerobics, 65min elliptical)
Wednesday 4/08/09: 321.9pounds (45min combat, 55min elliptical, 45min weights)
Thursday 5/08/09: 318.8pounds (45min aerobics, 45min combat)
 
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Hey, great to see you making awesome progress again!

Something kinda similar happened to me recently...I took a week's vacation travelling and basically threw my diet out the window...ate stuff I wouldn't dream of touching for the past few months. So I was pretty worried what the scale would say when I got home.

So I avoided the scale for a couple of days...then I got on and saw I had only gained 1 pound while away.

Even better, 2 days back on track, I am down 3 pounds....so its easy to get back on track...the trick is just doing it!

PS also like you, I am not going to count my calories as strictly as I was before my trip.
 
cherry,

Thanks for stopping by my journal...thought I'd drop in and see what you were up to.

Keep up the good work...we can do this!

ttyl,
E.
 
Cherry

Do what is right for YOU and do what is working, when you need a change then try something new. Your weight loss is amazing and you still seem really focused, just keep on plodding or keep on running however you feel on the day. We are only human and this is one journey its nice to share.

Eating Healthy and eating right, brilliant.x
 
@changes: thanks for the encouragement, i still seem to be hanging in there so i'm happy about that. hope all's well with you too :)

@astrolab: hey u, thanks for stopping by, and glad to see that all's going well with you too, i guess with this journey we always need to make sure we're on the right path and if we stray we shouldn't beat up ourselves about it but instead just get back on the wagon and keep going.

@fitforaking: thanks for stopping by...so far so good, i'm hoping it stays that way lol!

@crazymaizy: nice to hear from you once again, it's been a while ever since i strayed from the weigh everyday club, and thanks for the lovely words...hope all's well with you too :)

----------------

okay so today is my rest day whew! yesterday went in the gym and did two classes back to back started with the aerobics class then thereafter did the combat class, i usually find the classes go so much faster and are much more interesting than the machines which is why i always try to catch one class per day.

today the scale dropped by abit, which is better than nothing so i'm glad :) since i'm not dropping such big numbers anymore i think it would mean that the water weight is gone so i need to loose 4.2pounds before i get to my low point of 313.7 which i'd reached about a month ago. then i can feel like i really am continuing on my journey.


============================
START WEIGHT: 350.8pounds
CURRENT WEIGHT: 317.9pounds
============================
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 32.9pounds
============================
Monday 2/08/09: 324.3pounds (45min combat, 65min elliptical)
Tuesday 3/08/09: 324.1pounds (45min aerobics, 65min elliptical)
Wednesday 4/08/09: 321.9pounds (45min combat, 55min elliptical, 45min weights)
Thursday 5/08/09: 318.8pounds (45min aerobics, 45min combat)
Friday 6/08/09: 317.9pounds (rest day)
 
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It's amazing to see the scale dropping like that.
Don't be discouraged if it takes a little while to get to your low weight... you will get there!
 
Cherry

Never ever give up on anything (you don't seem the type to me anyway), believe in yourself and you will get to where you want to be. Left you a little message over on my diary. Thanks for dropping by what you said really hit home with me and thanks for your support.

Feeling fired up and ready to tackle this head on. Amazing what a bit of cyber power can do.
 
@changes, thanks for the support, i need to pop by your diary and see how your fairing too xoxo

@crazymaizy, thanks just read the post in your diary, i too can identify with what you said, i think we just need to find it somewhere in ourselves to stay on track no matter what, and just like you say thank goodness for cyberpower!

------------------

this week i've been thrilled to see the scale go down like that but i think alot of it may have been water weight which means now the hard work begins to get the actual weight off....however i'm glad that i'm now only 3.7pounds short of my original low...i hope i can get there by next sunday. after that the real work begins and thereafter my ticker can start moving again YIPEE!

so far i've eaten right all week which i'm glad about, and worked out like crazy, i think since i was returning from a period of not exercising much my left ankle started getting a little puffy and swollen, the only other time this happened was when i started exercising in march...so i'm hoping that goes away like it did before otherwise will go for a checkup if its not gone in a couple of days. but i've rested it for two days now so hope it should be okay.


============================
START WEIGHT: 350.8pounds
CURRENT WEIGHT: 316.1pounds
============================
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 34.7pounds
============================
Monday 3/08/09: 324.3pounds (45min combat, 65min elliptical)
Tuesday 4/08/09: 324.1pounds (45min aerobics, 65min elliptical)
Wednesday 5/08/09: 321.9pounds (45min combat, 55min elliptical, 45min weights)
Thursday 6/08/09: 318.8pounds (45min aerobics, 45min combat)
Friday 7/08/09: 317.9pounds (rest day)
Saturday 8/08/09: 318.6pounds (second rest day to rest my left ankle)
Sunday 9/08/09: 316.1pounds
 
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@kureransu: yep looks like i'm back (and i hope it stays that way), one week down many many more to go...lol!

@changes: thanks for the kind words, we just need to keep trying and someday we'll get there :)

----------------------------------
okay today is a grrreeeattt day! i've FINALLY gotten down to my original low of 313.9pounds woohoo! (i've shed the freakin 11pounds gained from the recent binge). i feel like i can finally proceed on the journey once again. funny enough in the past 3 months even when i was keeping on track my weight has been yoyoing down to 313.9 and back up a few pounds then down again to the same....but this time i feel i'm going to BREAK this barrier once and for all! i'm so glad about that! 13.9 pounds to get out of the 300 club, this time i'm not fooling around i'm going to do it, i haven't been below 300 in God knows how many years, i'm really looking forward to that :)


============================
START WEIGHT: 350.8pounds
CURRENT WEIGHT: 313.9pounds
============================
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 36.9pounds
============================
Monday 3/08/09: 324.3pounds (45min combat, 65min elliptical)
Tuesday 4/08/09: 324.1pounds (45min aerobics, 65min elliptical)
Wednesday 5/08/09: 321.9pounds (45min combat, 55min elliptical, 45min weights)
Thursday 6/08/09: 318.8pounds (45min aerobics, 45min combat)
Friday 7/08/09: 317.9pounds (rest day)
Saturday 8/08/09: 318.6pounds (second rest day to rest my left ankle)
Sunday 9/08/09: 316.1pounds (30min elliptical, 45min combat class)
Monday 10/08/09: 317pounds (45min combat, 65min elliptical)
Tuesday 11/08/09: 313.9pounds (45min aerobics, 45min step aerobics, 45min weights)
 
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