Cate's Diary

Cate I empathise with you I really do. I am wary of saying anything to you because you are focused on IF . I couldn't do it but I figure if you have to eat 1300 cals a day to lose weight you should be able to eat them over 3 meals and snacks if you want. Just make sure that they are good healthy cals. You eat so healthy I know so you got this whatever way to chose but please do it in a way that does not make you miserable. I know what being miserable over weight and not eating is like. Do it in a way you can enjoy it. I'm sorry if I'm speaking out of turn.
 
Thank you, Rob. Making the decision on how to go about it losing I think was the hardest part
LaMaria said:
The cold light of morning can be a bit harsh at times but that doesn't mean you can't do this. You're about to start page 666 of your diary (in my view): that must count for something! :grouphug:
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Thanks, LaMa It does, count for something. 666 pages? :eek: I hate feeling sorry for myself. Big girls panties have been pulled up!
Marsia said:
......so it's the same as what you are planning. I know you can do this as you already have before this!!!!
..........picture mini versions of all of us riding on your shoulders cheering you on! :)
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Thank you Marsia. I think that I overthink almost everything so am going to go in tomorrow with a view to mending bridges, without losing my sense of self. I won't apologise but will say I wish I hadn't lost my temper & is there a way that I can feel like I actually belong and am included in plans as I don't want to keep feeling like an outsider.

Thanks, Amy. Sometimes I just get thrown right out of kilter & that happened once I made the decision to try IF again & thought 12-8 would work well & then when I saw what Marsia was doing & how different that was I just threw my pinny up over my head in despair. I got over it fast as I just couldn't do the not eating after 2 pm. I'm still amazed. A happy day was had with G & the lime tree :)

Oh, Petal. You are so not speaking out of turn. I just don't seem to have been able to be focussed about really trying to lose weight, so feel I have to focus on a set plan. Years ago I was successful doing 5:2, but it was way too hard to fit in with the 2 of us. This way G can have a light breakfast or whatever he wants & I can still have my lunch & dinner with him. I'm going to eat the food I like, which is very healthy. I coped fairly well with my morning & drank lots of water. My stomach really carried on but I ignored it & got really busy. G & I did lots of Spring cleaning as well as gardening. 1340 cals are going to be a rough guide only to get me off to a good start (I hope!).
 
Ah that’s good Cate I just thought you sounded a bit despairing earlier . And I think lunch and dinner is a great way to go .
I’m like you I have to eat what I enjoy and I like to feel content. Sounds like the mental switch has turned on now so go girl !!
 
Oh, I felt very despairing, Petal. You were spot on. I hope this will work for me.
Day 1 down. Tomorrow will be a challenge in more ways than one. I'm taking the strength of my WLF friends with me. I'll also keep " very niiice" in mind :D
 
Day 1 was a triumph? You are a star! Tomorrow will be a bit full-on for me, so I mightn't be able to drop by, but I'll be thinking of you, and sending you all the strength I can for all the challenges.
 
One day in a row made me laugh! Much more optimistic than one day at a time!!

Cate, you are a really good person and your intentions are good, so don't let the women at the club make you feel otherwise. Remember that how they treat others is really all about them. If they are weird, you don't even have to engage with them. Make them not your problem!
 
Cate well done . I like that too one day in a row ..

I had reason to get a bit uptight today regarding toxic people I know but trying to ride above it all and forget . You can too rise above them .
 
Thank you my lovely, supportive WLF friends :grouphug:
One day in a row :D I love it, Rob. G & I have lots of silly sayings or words & one of them is saying in concussion rather than in succession. We have squillions of these & sometimes use them inappropriately & get weird looks.
I actually woke up feeling relaxed & good about myself again.
Marsia said:
Cate, you are a really good person and your intentions are good, so don't let the women at the club make you feel otherwise. Remember that how they treat others is really all about them. If they are weird, you don't even have to engage with them. Make them not your problem!
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Thank you, M. That's a lovely thing to say!
I just found a saying I like. "You don't get to choose who I am." I'm going out there today to enjoy my day. I am going to sing "I'll stand by you" by the Pretenders in my head today & that will be all of you supporting me.
Petal- I'm glad you rose above the toxicity. We don't need that in our lives xo

Day 2 of IF.
I have 2 tuna fritters to eat at 12 while I play & some fruit to eat when I get in, plus a little container of jerky & nuts as a backup. Tonight we'll have venison patties with some veggies & some salad & some yoghurt & fruit if I'm still hungry after golf. It's usually a 10 km day. It will be interesting to see how I go playing on an empty stomach. Look out fat cells. I'm out to get you little suckers!
 
Cate said:
Look out fat cells. I'm out to get you little suckers!
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:smash:!!! Love your post! So happy you are feeling better about everything, and it's like your increased energy is leaping off the page! Sending lots of support and encouragement for you to relax and be yourself! And hugs, too!!
 
I had a similar evening tonight as you had recently Cate in terms of not being happy with myself and how I look and how I have dealt with people over the last few days. Agh!!! See how it all interlinks with each other?!

Anyway, I visited home, and chatted to my dad. He and my mum are just back from holiday, and just before I left, he said there was a small present for me from them on my bed. They bought me a nice bag but it was inside another plastic bag with the cords, you know them? Anyway, on it, it read, 'Focus on the good.' I laughed. That is my mother all over. But yeah. 'Focus on the good.'

We all have our moments of saying things out of turn. Maybe that was you at that meeting, maybe one of the ladies met her friends for coffee and said something in a way she didn't like earlier that day. Just try your best. I think I am on the side of, 'Forget about it'. If I decided to go back over every exchange I've had with people, we've all had our bad moments.

And the clothes will fit again. Just keep that positive picture in your head. It won't fail you.
 
Marsia, LaMa, Petal & Em :grouphug:
I think the little fat suckers are going to put up a fight, but I do feel more determined again & much more myself. IF does give you more energy. I felt I took you all with me yesterday & you had my back. Turns out I didn't need it. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I had just woken up with the thought that I had done nothing wrong & would try to relax & enjoy my day & not get stressed or upset or angry about anything. I listened to music along the way.
When I got there I got a chance to talk to one of the 3 about the comp on Friday & ask if I could contribute something or if they needed me to come do something to help as I heard others were taking food & I wasn't. I detected friendliness & that was a good start to the day.
We had a team event & it was a random draw, with longer handicap players drawn to play with shorter handicap players & I drew the same woman. To say the day was totally unexpected is an understatement. I had a chance during the game to say that I wished I hadn't got so angry & upset last week. she got a chance to say that I wasn't the only one & we both got a chance to mend that bridge, without either of us, apologising. I know that she is capable of saying horrible things behind my back because she does it with everyone, but yesterday gave us an opportunity to start over.
After the game, I got so much support from most of the women, including hugs & lots of well-meaning advice about not worrying about the state of the bar etc & I felt that I actually did belong. I am only going to do the bar for our weekly comps & should have a key & a security code next week.
During the game, one of the other women said something about all the weeds around the club & said it's a pity that G won't let anyone help her. I said "leave it with me" & before we left I had a women's working bee organised for Thursday of next week, which G was really happy about. The garden out there has been her "baby" for years & she does an amazing job. With her cancer & treatment, she hasn't been able to do much, but I think it's still really important that she is still the boss & she can tell us all what to do. I think it will be the first of many & a great way to bond even more. I love this woman.
The captain didn't talk to me at all & left before the presentation, but I actually didn't care. It was such a relief not to care what she did or said or didn't say. There's history there with her partner & the club & I think she blames G & me for it. It's her problem.
I had such a lovely day I can't believe the difference. A lot of us sat around talking for ages afterwards & I didn't get home until after 5.30. The atmosphere was really friendly & inclusive.
I foolishly weighed myself this morning, after doing only 2 days of IF & gained 1/2 a kilo. It must be fluid retention after playing 18 holes of golf yesterday, pushing my clubs around. I drank lots of water & ached all over last night. I feel like I have clicked with doing IF already & feel lighter already & much more positive.
LaMa- I didn't have any trouble playing golf fasting & actually pushed my fast to 12.30 & ate my fritters in instalments as I played.
BTW, J & I came second in the comp.
 
All sounds wonderful Cate. It seems like everyone made a big effort and your idea on how to help your friend with the garden is lovely. You rock. :coolgleamA:
 
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