Cate's Diary

The one I was going to see seems to have disappeared. Someone said he'd done a runner.
Now there´s a story waiting to be told :rotflmao: Shame we´ll probably never know.
I do hope you´ll find a doctor that suits you better; it´s so important to have access to people you trust.
 
Hi, Em. I have been avoiding weighing myself. It definitely feels like an "I don't want to know" situation! I'll get brave soon.....

Hi, Marsia. Dancing does make me very happy. A change would do me good, but I'll be careful that I don't get too busy. I am so over being busy.
G & I are going out on Thursday night to listen to live music in a small hall. It should be lots of fun. Finding a nutritionist who specialises in IF would be difficult here. We are such a small population. I'm looking forward to seeing the therapist next week (maybe I am mad ;) ) She sounded really nice on the phone.

Hi, Petal. Knowing that I had been left out of their little clique bothered me for a little while when I was playing, but I know that I am happy as my own person too. They had asked me to a couple of lunches when I first started playing & I didn't go,but have done in the last year or so. The ones who went to the dinner have been going out together for decades. I didn't know that they had gone out & when the snobby one asked me how my Christmas & New Year had been I had said I was glad it was all over. I told her that Christmas has too many expectations & that our NY was spent watching rock shows on tv at home on our own. She looked so embarrassed & then I found out why when I overheard their conversations about their disappointing dinner & the loud music on NY eve. I didn't let her off the hook & casually asked where they went & a few pertinent questions. I admit I was a bit put out, but I probably wouldn't have gone anyway as it's not one of my favourite places.

Hi, LaMa. I most probably will find out the story as I play golf with one of the staff. It is disappointing if he has gone as I really liked how he was with G. I must find a good doctor! The official line is that he is on sick leave, but a specialist in town told a friend of mine that he had "done a runner".

It feels like forever that the forum was down. If anyone has any special tips for me on how to save my diary please let me know. I really would hate to lose it!
 
I didn't let her off the hook & casually asked where they went & a few pertinent questions.
Sometimes poking people a little and watching them squirm is fun ;) Sorry I can´t be of help with the diary saving - I´m pretty clueless with technical stuff.
 
Okay, so I'm not the only one who was kicked off the site for a few days ... is it a technical issue? Anyway, sounds like you are handling the mean girls very well. I've been in a situation like that before and I have to remind myself that even if they wanted to be friends with me, do I really want friends like that?! Uh ... Nope!
 
I feel the same about those type of people - they remind me of the mean girls from junior high school and I realize I do not want to revisit junior high school! I hope you can get out of more responsibilities at the club so you can go off and dance more! Maybe if you can't find a good nutritionalist or natropathic or functional medicine doctor or whatever, you could find one elsewhere who skypes or something? Anyway, fingers crossed for a good GP and I am really happy your therapist sounds nice! I'm a little mad myself, so not to worry - you are in good company!!
 
Hi LaMa, Jen & Marsia. I have run out of time to do the diaries as it's time to head for G's golf. I'll be back this afternoon. It's 8.42am here xoC
 
Yeah Cate I know how you feel about being left out bit I think we have grown so much that we let it over our heads now and as you said you probably wouldn't have gone anyway but yet it's nice to be invited.
 
I really don't know where to start, but we have had an awful day. One outcome I think will be a decision that should have been made a few years ago. I won't even try to explain as it's almost impossible. To those who are getting to know me quite well, it's golf related. What is meant to be a pleasant, fun & healthy sport & place to be is SO far from it & today was just the last straw. I'm not sure exactly how it will end up- with both of us going to another club or just G, but at least one of those things just has to happen. I can't see any other way. It has taken G way to long to make this decision. My heart & brain say that if he goes, there is not much to keep me where I am.
I feel that if we get away from this toxic environment I won't even need counselling. It's the biggest stress I have, by far.
 
I´m so sorry things are crappy but will be SO relieved if you do end up finding a more positive environment for golf! And if it makes it so the counseling can focus on other things: all the better.
 
Cate i think your last statement says it all . The word toxic to me means just that and if you think it’s causing all your stress you know what you got to do .
Hope you make the right decision for you both xoxo
 
Cate, if you even go back 1 year ago, you will find so many posts where you talk about how difficult it is being in that golf club. Even if you don't get to play as much on another course, at least when you do play, it will be relaxing and enjoyable. Make the jump. You owe them nada.
 
I know that the golf club is toxic & I know that we are better off away from it, but I needed G to make the decision first & be sure about it, otherwise, I would still be hearing all about it as he would be suffering. He was awake for most of the night & reached the conclusion that he has to leave. I woke up feeling horrible early this morning with bad Asthma & palpitations & felt so sick. G drove me out to the clubhouse as we had arranged for someone to borrow a cart early. I then rang one of the women to ask her to drop the keys off for me. G rang someone on the committee to say he won't be playing on Saturday & probably not again.
We called in to tell one of our very old friends in case he hears from someone else. G brought his clubs home.
Now that we are away from the club & back home again I feel so much better. That is really telling me what I really already knew. I'll leave the club too. It's not healthy for me & it's not fun.
We haven't quite worked out yet where we'll go or what we'll do. I'm glad I held off paying our fees. They are due by the end of January, but I usually pay them in December.
We will need to write letters to resign. G is actually going to tell them why, or so he says. They need to be told.
I'll go do some more research into other clubs. We think we know which one we'll go to. It's about 40 km away. I'm not sure I want to join a specific club, but would like to be able to play with a handicap.
Edit: Actually I need to have a handicap to play in the social golf group that we are in.
 
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I agree with everyone that even if you don't get to play as often, playing at a place where you enjoy yourself will be well worth the pain in the neck drive! I hope G or you do tell them what they are doing to drive people off. We were part of a private school community that was getting increasingly too expensive and demanding and toxic, and after switching schools to one that is half the price and more than twice the value, it has made my life immeasurably less stressful and we are all much, much happier as a family. I wrote a review of the old school online and was polite, but really pointed out many horrible things they are doing wrong that should get them to finally listen to parents if they want their enrollment to stop going down. It felt really good to do that because the environment there was eroding my daughter's self esteem, and there was no one there who would listen to what was wrong. Anyway, I am sooo happy to hear you are leaving that place!!!

If you bookmark the diary pages and the server crashes, will you be able to access them?
 
If you bookmark the diary pages and the server crashes, will you be able to access them?
Good question. I assumed I would be able to on Chrome. I won't do any more until I find out for sure.
Feeling too stressed to comment on anything much so will take a break xo
 
Again the fact you feel so much better after taking the clubs home and making your decision is a good one. 40km is not that bad to drive really unless you stuck in lots of traffic and I guess that's not the case . This will work itself out . And you still have your friends and your social golf group. They not to overthink or stress . I know it's hard xo
 
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